I am obsessed with losing badly at a new game I found called Just Words that you can play free on your laptop here. It’s Scrabble only you can’t put letters on both side of a word which makes it harder. And the dictionary they use is stupid but there is no penalty if you try a word that isn’t a real word. Anyway. Sorry, I did not preload for this episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills so it will take longer than usual.
Kyle goes to meet Kim who is sick and so are all of her kids. But she has to go see her mother of the bride dress and stuff. She is terrified of getting sick before her vacation to Spain but if she doesn’t go Kim will not get paid for this episode so, she dashes in and out.
Brandi is doing a podcast these days. Is that a lucrative thing? I’m serious I don’t know. Anyway the podcast guy is wants to advertise more but since it is Brandi Unfiltered he wants to make it more “family friendly.” Um, no. Don’t do that Brandi. You are not a family friendly person. I don’t mean that in a bad way. But if a podcast is anything like a blog, you don’t get viewers by trying to please everyone. Don’t ask me how I know this. Be your usual unfiltered trash mouthed self. I promise you will do much better as you than worrying about offending people. Because offending people is half the fun. I would not change a thing. Of course she says she will filter herself for financial gain. Sigh.
Why is Mauricio says he is trying to be sure he has the “right passports?” Um… a) does he have a stash of “wrong passports” because you turn the old one in when you get a new one and (TWO) Aren’t they rich people that travel all the time? I know right where my “right passport” is at all times in case the Zombie Apocalypse comes and I have to book somewhere.
I do not understand neck pillows on flights. I want Kyle’s carryon. I switched to a red keep up with it, and then EVERYONE ELSE DID, the Mexican multicolored one is awesome.
Lisa has a dog. I am over this. It was cute for half a season.
Eileen lives in Mailbu with 46 children and Vicne Van Patten. I’ve always had bad taste in men. I chose Leif Garret in middle school. I would still marry him today despite his problems because I am his only fan that TRULY loved him. Unless he is dead. I haven’t checked lately. If Leif is dead, don’t tell me. I would not marry a dead guy. I have to draw the line somewhere.
OMG. Mallorca. WANT!!!!! I love that Maurcio talks to Portia in
Mexican Spanish. I hate that my am so intellectually challenged I am not fluent in any language other than my marginal grasp of English. I do try to learn how to get laid and order beer in the native tongue before traveling. I’ve forgotten my Romanian, but let’s just say everything went splendidly. I love Kyle and Sophia’s honest reaction to being in a new country. There is always (at least for me as an adult) that whole feeling of HOLY SHIT I AM IN __________! And I usually cry for some reason. Like happy, isn’t the world so amazing tears. I love that Kyle appreciates travel. Kyle is so sweet. She learns everyone’s names immediately and talks about how great the experience is. Gratitude. It’s a nice thing to see on RHOBH.
In contrast there is Yolanda. #sigh. It’s like she just seems to expect nice things. It’s not that is a bad thing, I mean if you are accustomed to that sort of thing. But I feel kind of bad for people who don’t find joy in fancy things anymore. Sidenote: I got my Christmas present today!!!! I am going to spend the next two weeks shaking it and wondering what it is because it came from a very fancy store… I can hardly contain my excitement!
I traveled enough to know how to get myself to Mallorca. So mostly what I am jealous of is how damn good these women look in a bikini and their hot husbands and pretty little spoiled children…
The two Lisas finally have a scene. I just can’t Lisa Vanderpump no matter the transgressions I discover. Can we just write off the egregiousness of that nonsense and enjoy her this season because I really want too… especially if she is going to be friends with Lisa Rinna. Lisa wants her thoughts on the others and Vanderpump says she wants her to find her own way. Vanderpump is getting a star on the walk of stars in Palm Springs for all of her work with the LGBT community and that is something she does that is fantastic. She invites Rinna to go with her. She really is truly deserving of all the accolades from the gay community. We all have good points and bad. And this is something that she does for seemingly no connection to gay community other than just loving them because they are awesome. Which sounds weird like gay people are more awesome than straight people but I’ve had lots of friends in my life, and sometimes friends do you wrong, and I know my gay friends and I fight about my feelings on this but I can only think of ONE gay friend I’ve ever had that turned into Norman Bates (scarily he is my next door neighbor) and IN MY EXPERIENCE gay men are pretty much the best people on the planet. Forgiving true friends til the end. Anyway so they are going to go do some gay shit in Palm Springs. 🙂
Back in Mallorca… I love Kyle’s dress she is so worried about. I’d much rather go to Spain with Kyle than Yolanda. I love that Yo is playing and sword fighting with people on the streets. It’s amazing how she can go from bedridden to sword fighting ! Yolanda’s mother is very ill. It’s so sad to have a very ill parent.
Oh Brandi. I forgot about her. Brandi got a six figure check for her first book so she bought a six figure car.
I can’t. Your children HAVE NO HOUSE! But you bought yourself a “six figure car” I don’t believe this. Because I can’t believe anyone would be so dumb. I believe she banked the money and opened a 529 plan for her son’s educations. Because I can’t believe people are this stupid. I really do believe that. She invested part for a downpayment and put the rest in a 529. Because, isn’t that what people do? Whatever car shows up now will be a promotional car for Bravo. I don’t think even Brandi is this stupid. But she is living in California* (*two of my favorite people live in California and one of them is a Branditard but she would never be reckless with money and OMG this is stupid.) I sincerely hope that Brandi is trying to pretend like she is rich for the show and realizes she has ZERO marketable skills when this show is over and is furiously investing it all with someone who knows what they are doing.
Um, okay. I don’t know shit about cars or care or know what that was, I assume a Range Rover since that is the in thing or is it Land Rover? Anyway, there was not promotional shit happening. Is that thing really a six figure vehicle? someone enlighten me. My house isn’t even worth six figures anymore. I thought it was kind of cute for a soccer mom car, but I’d rather have a JEEP.
Kyle has on those green sunglasses that Lisa Vanderpump wore at Mohammed’s party. I laugh and am annoyed by older women with all the arms of beaded bracelets. I have wrist to elbow silver bracelets in the bank. When I grew up I switched to gold bangles. It’s a nomad thing… a Libyan thing… that make the whole grown “rich” women wearing YMCA beaded bracelets laughable.
OMG the Lisas are adorable. Shopping for something to wear to the event. They both hated the same dress on Rinna that I did.
I love Kyle.
Then Yo gets the news that Bella got a DUI.