Andy Cohen is pretty much everywhere these days while out pimping his new book, The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Life. Apparently that includes NPR! Here is an excerpt of his time on the show, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me! Click this link to listen to the ten minute interview or read the entire transcript. The have Andy play their own game in which it is revealed is not just an expert on house wives, but house flies as well. The excerpt begins below. I’ve bolded the most amusing parts. 🙂
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
And now the game where we take somebody who is fabulous and expose him to the opposite. It is called Not My Job. Any Cohen started out as a producer with CBS News doing tough stories from tough places, but his secret dream was to choreograph elaborate catfights between wealthy underemployed women. He is the Bravo TV producer responsible for the “Real Housewives” franchise and he is the host of the nightly live talk show on Bravo “Watch What Happens Live.” Andy Cohen, welcome to WAIT WAIT …DON’T TELL ME.
ANDY COHEN: I am so happy to be here.
SAGAL: Oh, we’re so happy to have you. So your new book, which was inspired by “The Andy Warhol Diaries,” which you say inspired you to move to New York in the first place, is a diary of your year from the middle of 2013 to middle of this year. And it is such fun to read it. Can you tell the audience about a typical day in the life of Andy Cohen?
COHEN: Well, I guess a typical day in my life involves some sort of fitness. Perhaps it involves me sticking my foot in my mouth at some point in the day. It might involve a Seinfeldian, as I call it, occurrence, in the city in which I live, which is New York. And it ends with me hosting this kind of live cocktail party every night with kind of a mix between people that you might find on either the pages of The New Yorker or Us Weekly.
SAGAL: Yes, it’s crazy. Now I don’t know how many people who listen to NPR watch Bravo. And however many number there are, because this is NPR, a smaller number will admit it. So let’s go over this.
O’ROURKE: Certain amount of lying.
SAGAL: So basically I’ll tune in to Bravo of an evening and I’ll probably see one of the many shows you’ve created – say “Real Housewives Of New Jersey” or Atlanta or Beverly Hills. And you invented these shows, right? This is your…
COHEN: I did. I was with a team of people at Bravo. And we are the proud proprietors of these fine shows that have replaced the soap opera basically, I think.
COHEN: Yeah, I love sociology and I love human behavior. And we have plenty you can kind of sit at home and think, oh my God, I would never do that or I would or I think that’s ridiculous.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Andy, I think it’s a stretch to say that that’s sociology.
SAGAL: Oh, no.
SAGAL: So I have to understand – describe to me ’cause I know in TV I know you have to pitch an idea, so describe to me the day you went in and you pitched to whoever’s in charge of Bravo – said this is going to – I mean, what did you say?
COHEN: Well, what it was is there was a group of women that were brought to us by someone who lived in their neighborhood, which was the largest gated community in the country. And they were – their boobs were bigger, their hair was blonder, they communicated with their children in a way that I had never seen. And we said…
SAGAL: Wait a minute. How did they communicate with their children?
COHEN: It was inappropriate. It was all just inappropriate.
SAGAL: What was the original franchise? Was it Beverly Hills?
COHEN: The original was Orange County.
SAGAL: Orange County, California and then Beverly Hills and Atlanta.
AMY DICKINSON: But then also, the women who are in these shows, a lot of them became breakout stars and then they get their own spin off shows.
COHEN: That’s true.
DICKINSON: So it’s sort of like spawn of Satan.
SAGAL: It does seem…
O’ROURKE: We mean that in a good way. Spawn of Satan in a good way.
COHEN: That’s fine, you’re all there in your theater judging me.
DICKINSON: Oh, no.
POUNDSTONE: I’m not judging you. I want a piece of this. What would you think about – what would you think about “Real Housecats of Santa Monica?”
COHEN: Oh Paula, I’m coming after you. You’re ready.
SAGAL: All right. So we heard a rumor – and I want to confirm this with you right now because I’m a project Chicagoan – that you wanted to do a Real Housewives of Chicago but you couldn’t find anybody here crazy enough.
COHEN: Listen, there are nut bags all over the place.
SAGAL: Yeah, ’cause I was going to say you didn’t look hard enough, pal.
COHEN: I know. I mean, trust me, I’m on a book tour.
SAGAL: Yeah, you’ve seen him.
COHEN: I’ve seen everybody around the country. And I love – by the way, I love a nut bag. But yeah, we could find some.
SAGAL: One of my favorite characters in your book, I have to say, is your mother. Your father’s great too. But you seem to have a wonderful relationship with your mother.
COHEN: I do. She and my doorman are my two favorite characters. They’re kind of the moral compass of the book. My mother’s favorite things is once every two months she calls me and begs me not to go on Bill Maher’s show because she does not think that I am intellectually ready to go on Bill Maher’s show…
COHEN: …Which is hilarious because Bill Maher is not asking me to go on his show. So it’s a hypothetical fight and crisis that she’s invented. She’ll Skype me and she’ll say, I beg you not to go on Bill Maher. You’re not going to be able to do it. And…
And that’s it. He got through a whole interview without talking about Wacha. Poor Wacha.