It’s time for RHOA, or more accurately, the Phaedra and Apollo show. Phaedra manages to get free dental care for the boys by filming them going to see the dentist. There were ten tons of promotional shots. That should keep them in dental care until their adult years. I found it very strange that the street numbers were blurred on the building. Why? They showed name of the practice a dozen times, and had every item they sell displayed behind the reception desk, but for some reason someone went to the trouble to blur the street address? Also is Phaedra married to that giant bagel on her head? How much does that thing weigh? It makes my head hot just looking at her wearing that all over the place in Atlanta in the summer. Why does Apollo looked shocked to see Phaedra and Ayden? Clearly he knew about the appointment which is why he was there. #BadActing Ayden was priceless with the whole, “Daddy? Oh boy….” reaction.
Did we really need the entire family in the room for his cleaning? How many times is Phaedra going to point out to us that her focus is on parenting? Pretty much everything she says, you may presume the opposite. Phaedra has TWO fulltime people to watch the boys. One, an overnight nanny lives in the house. The other, a baby sitter is there all day when the boys are awake. Phaedra’s mother is there a lot too and keeps the kids when she goes on “book tours” for months at a time. According to Angela Stanton, who becomes more believable by the day, Phaedra never liked her kids and was very standoffish around her kids. Even in Phaedra’s first bizarre deposition, she commented on Angela “always being pregnant” as if that were a bad thing. But now, suddenly, Phaedra would have us believe she is all about parenting. I’m not buying it.
Cynthia is excited for the release of her Ebony edition. She also wants us to know she um, “has her groove back” so to speak. Cynthia’s spread is beautiful but in one shot it looks like she is missing an arm. I’m just saying. Peter and Cynthia plan the Ebony party. Nene and Porsha are not invited.
Kandi and Todd are apparently going to disagree in every scene. We find out this episode that Kandi’s mother didn’t ever move into Kandi’s old house. I think it was in Fayetteville which is pretty far away from things. So Kandi is buying her a house right down the street. This is a very bad idea. Todd tries to explain to Kandi that his mother manipulates her but she is not hearing it. Todd is not happy that Kandi is going to buy her another house. Mama Joyce and Todd have a very awkward conversation . Mama Joyce has her constipated face on the whole time. The only time she smiles is when Todd says his mother has no desire to move to Atlanta. Kandi takes her mother to see the house she wants to buy her. It has SEVEN BEDROOMS, 4 baths, a swimming pool, a basketball court! What the hell is this old lady going to do with a house that big? And what, no skatin’ rink? Kandi says she has been off birth control a year and they have not gotten pregnant. Mama Joyce says she thinks Todd has had a vasectomy because she dreamed about it. I can’t stand Mama Joyce and her crappy acting.
Meanwhile over in Kenyaland, Brandon shows up and they chat about the reunion. Okay Kenya, I’m going to need you to move on from this subject. Which is exactly what Brandon said. And then he channeled Iyanla which was sort of funny. They knock out some ridiculous “song” called “Really Bitch” while Brandon plays the piano. I fear that Kenya will actually record this and sing it on WWHL. Oh God. She’s on tonight. Please, no. This is not how redemptions work, Miss Moore.
In Vegas, it is opening night and Nene is nervous. The artistic director is not really feeling Nene. She reminds her that it’s all about the lines. As in, you should try to remember them. Nene says she was having trouble with the orgy scene. She didn’t know what to do. Do you hug each other? Kiss each other? Teabag? Yes. Nene. Please go with teabag. That would amuse me greatly. A comedian Nene is not. At least not intentionally.
It’s time for the big party at Bar One. Cynthia looks amazing and she is feeling so much better after the fibroid surgery. Cynthia is acting like Phaedra declined the invite. This is not true. Phaedra was required to be there to film. However, when she pulled up, she saw that Apollo was there and kept right on driving. I looked for the post but it was taking too much time. It should be in the July archives though. Cynthia and Kandi do some talking about the other girls. Kandi lets it slip that no one wanted to go to see Nene perform.
Kenya comes and we meet Claudia! Claudia says she is okay with Porsha. Kandi is asking Kenya about the charges against Porsha. She says she didn’t feel like the situation warranted police involvement. Kandi is being a totally unnecessary shit stirrer. What purpose does it serve for her to sit there in front of Kenya and he two friends and act like Kenya had it coming. What does she have to gain by this conversation?
Apollo walks into the party and Kenya and Claudia walk off. Todd and Apollo and Peter sit down with Cynthia and Kandi and Kandi jokes with Apollo about Kenya putting money on his books. Kandi is kind of a cunt this season, no? Meanwhile, Kenya and Claudia go to the bathroom and Kenya is upset. She says she is very uncomfortable being around him because he lies about her constantly and now come to find out he is a convicted felon. Again.
Back on the couch Cynthia and Apollo are talking. Cynthia says Phaedra was talking about coming and she wonders why they are not communicating. Cynthia said she had the impression that Phaedra was going to stick by him through everything. Apollo says that is what he thought, but it turns out that is not the case. Apollo says Phaedra is refusing to bring the boys to see him in prison.
Kenya and Claudia decide to leave. Apollo wants to follow her out. Cynthia walks her out. Apollo says he wants to apologize to Kenya. The apology doesn’t go well. Kenya wants Apollo to admit that he lied about the nasty things he said about her to Phaedra. Apollo wants to just give a blanket apology. It gets a bit ugly. Apollo admits that he made up all the stories about Kenya trying to get with him. He admits it to Kandi, Peter, and Todd. Kandi is pissed off. Apollo has not told Phaedra that he lied. Peter says to Apollo, ” You know that we have to apologize to this chick now because we have been looking at her like she’s a ho for the last three years.” Todd says he can’t even defend this. Apollo goes back outside and apologizes to Kenya some more. This time for calling her an asshole after she brushed off his blanket apology. He apologizes for lying about her to Phaedra. Kenya says he doesn’t understand that for three years everyone she films with has believed what he said and treated her like a whore. Apollo says it all started because she told Phaedra that he was texting her and it pissed him off. Kenya says that Apollo finally admitted that he never saw her outside of Phaedra;s presence. She says that Phaedra owes her an apology.
Next week: Phaedra finds out that Apollo made the whole thing up. Will Phaedra apologize? Not a chance in hell.