Those crazy kids from Vanderpump Rules are blogging. And let’s just say no one has a ghost writer. That explains why Jax doesn’t have one. Lisa Vanderpump and Tom Sandoval both Vlogged and I didn’t even watch I just read the transcripts. Mostly because I am binging on True Tori and eating all the chocolate I bought at the Dollar Store yesterday. I normally don’t buy crap but it’s like part of my brain new the hormomalbitchiness was on the horizon and chocolate would be mandatory. Did I mention I am having a meltdown on Twitter? That sound you hear is a bunch of people unfollowing me. #Pussies
Anyway, I read all the Vanderpumpies blogs so you don’t have to. You’re welcome. There is not much to see, but I didn’t want all that time to go wasted. I’d also like to remind you that Kristen Doute is the star of this shit show. I love her.
Click through for some selected quotes. 
Tom Schwartz:
I cringe looking at myself sometimes. I’m such a goon. Sometimes I’m kind of dashing. I feel so much cooler/sexier in everyday life but struggle with seeing myself on TV still.
Katie Maloney:
The staff meeting was so awkward, and, to be honest, I don’t think I should have been required to endure it. After all, I was not in anyway involved in the debaucherous acts at Scheana’s party — and I had been behaving myself at work. Lisa was, clearly, the most pissed I had ever seen her, which is why I was shocked that she didn’t fire everyone’s ass.
Scheana Marie:
After spending the night in the hospital waiting for stitches I was beyond pissed off at EVERYONE who was involved in the fight. Tom sent me a very long heartfelt video apologizing for everything that went down meanwhile Kristen was unapologetic. So yes obviously I chose Tom’s side because he was sooooooo sorry and it was such a heartfelt and true apology. I apologize for calling him a super pussy. That was mean of me to say and I shouldn’t have.
Kristen Doute:
His [Tom’s]over dramatic sobbing video was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever witnessed. He’s a good actor, I’ll give him that. Scheana, per usual, followed the crowd and decided James and I were responsible rather than accepting the reality of the fight.
What also irritates me about this episode is the way that Jax downplayed his relationship with Carmen. He is the furthest thing from honest. He always does the “it’s not you, it’s me” to excuse his bad behavior. I’m so proud of Carmen for standing up for herself, straightening her crown and walking away like a boss.
Lisa Vanderpump:
Hello, I’m Lisa Vanderpump. Welcome to my video blog. Blah, blah, blah. Thank you for watching. I’m Lisa Vanderpump and I hope you enjoy my video blog.
Tom Sandoval:
Hello. I’m Tom Sandoval. Welcome to my video blog. I can understand why Lisa is upset, but I will say, there’s nothing worse than getting scolded like that in a large group. I’m Tom Sandoval, and thank you for watching my video blog.
Stassi Schroeder:
Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t leave in poor graces, but when you are dealing with someone like Lisa, diverting from her plan is a sin in an of itself. At the end of the day, Lisa was my employer and I did my due diligence in showing her the respect that she deserved. Did I think I was wrong in leaving? No. It was the best choice for my personal life. But when I came back to L.A. I knew I had to show her rightfully deserved courtesy.
Is it just me or are they giving Lisa Vanderpump and Gay Tom scripts for their Vlogs?
I’m so glad I found your blog TT. I don’t get wwhl show up here in Canada. Such a pity I’d love to watch Wendy on Thursday night and i absolutely love Andy. So thanks for the great updates and all you do to keep me up to date, especially the wwhl schedule guest list postings. Awesome !
Glad you’re here. We need more Canookians to blame out all the nasty Americans comments! 🙂
On Wed, Nov 12, 2014 at 1:25 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Tamara, I love your blogs. I look forward to reading your witty comments. Many times your recaps are better than the actual show
Thanks Sharon!
Thank you for keeping us abreast of everything that is going on. I watch the shoes obsessively but, at 53, I can’t possibly be expected to keep up with every new technological device that comes along. Right now I can’t even get my remote control to behave.
I wish I could read Twitter! I would follow you but I don’t understand what anyone is saying on there plus I’m scared ISIS will recruit me!
You don’t have to be on twitter to read my twitter line. I have a couple exes that do it and I really never know. Also ISIS won’t know you are there either. Probably. I’ve been feeling a lot more Islamic since I joined Twitter now that you mention it though….
https://twitter.com/TamaraTattles
On Wed, Nov 12, 2014 at 9:34 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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PLEASE write a True Tori recap. I’ve been dying to find a good one!!!
That pic of Tom is creepy!
On the subject of Tom, did you all see him shaving his forehead? Judging by his chest, he doesn’t strIke me as being particularly hairy??
Thats because he shaves his chest too and waxes his eyebrows. His is what they call metrosexual. Men these days spend more time in the bathroom than females! Lol!
What “they” call meterosexual, I call closeted bisexual at the very least. NTTAWWT
On Fri, Nov 14, 2014 at 2:54 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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That pic of Tom is creeping me out!
Sorry WP is acting up!
I was riveted watching the show the other night. Couldn’t walk away. Best reality show on television! That’s about it. Nothing negative to say. I also think that Kristen makes the show soooooooo interesting.
LOL… I can see Lisa sitting somewhere typing her blog…. Hi, I’m Lisa, do you like my pink dress?
Kristen would be much prettier if she didn’t have those creepy ticks like the shoulder shrugging and twisting her face into weird positions. She lacks confidence. The first episode I didn’t see her do any of those strange shrugs and I thought to myself, “wow she could really be a pretty girl.”
I must be watching a different show from the rest of you because how any of you can actually like that crazy stalker bitch Kristen is way beyond me. Way beyond.
I remember dating a girl like that once and she was too weird to stay with….just fucking strange. She hid it very well at first but over a little time more and more crazy crept out.
I’m beginning to sense a pattern here of the characters y’all like and those you don’t. Either way, thanks for the recaps and please keep up the good work Tamara…..
I swear you are my housewife blogger soulmate. I think of Tom as ‘gay Tom’ too. Kristen is butcher than hell, I will never forget her saying “you don’t pay my bills, bitch” to him on the first season. They are not the first butch girl/femme guy couple I have ever seen. I don’t read the blogs because for some reason the bravo site messes up this very old computer and it isn’t worth the irritation but wow is Stassi’s blog interesting. Her comments kind of underwrite the accusations Brandi made against Lisa. Of course we will never know the truth but she made Stassi sound like an indentured servant rather than an employee. Wonder what she threatened Stassi with, was she afraid no one would watch without Stassi (ironically another Russian nickname for Anastasia is “Nastia” & I find that one much more fitting) and wasn’t going to have a project with *her* name on it messed with. I find her comments about owing ‘courtesy’ to Lisa downright creepy…what kind of lock does Lisa have on these kids…maybe they are afraid her show is the closest any of them will ever get to their acting dreams.
I’m passing on this show this season.
I, like, tried to, like, watch a few minutes of it, but, like, found it, like, annoying that they like, say “like” like every few words.
This trumps Apollo’s “at the end of the day”.