It’s time for the season premier! We have no new photos, but we have new taglines!
Nene: Why be so nasty and so rude, when I can be so fierce and so successful?
Kandi: I’m not about the drama, don’t start none, won’t be none.
Cynthia: Life is about choices, and I choose Cynthia.
Phaedra: When it comes to my family? I’m the judge and the jury.
Kenya: People get exhausted trying to figure me out. And I just let them.
Okay that intro was a hot mess that looked like it was hobbled together by one-eyed interns. Where is Claudia’s peach? We were told Claudia would have a peach? Will that come later since she was filming as an FOH for so long? Why would they not give their highest rated show a decent intro? You can’t even recognize half of the for all the photoshopping and editing. I’m not even sure that is any hair we have ever seen on Cynthia on her head in the peach holding scene. So far this is a hot mess, a HOT MESS, I say. Did I say hot mess yet? Lord have mercy. Maybe Claudia takes Nene’s peach at the halfway mark? Wouldn’t that be a kick in Nene’s ass…?
We’re going to start right off with Nene in Las Vegas filming Circe du Soleil Porn Show, Zumanity. This was done before the real filming for the season began. And there is Gregg right in her wake as usual. Why is Nene putting a wigcap on over her wig?
On to Kandi and Todd. Todd’s daughter Kayla is moving in for filming. I mean because she is “moving to Atlanta.” Kandi is happy about it; however, Todd and Kandi have two different parenting styles. Kandi spoilers Riley she practically has her own apartment on the property with two 60 inch flat screens. Todd, and pretty much everyone in the universe thinks that is excessive for a child. Kandi is offended. Todd wants to provide structure for Kayla, who is 18, and Kandi thinks it’s too late for that. This does not bode well for these two having a baby.
Phaedra is holed up in a hotel room in Augusta, Georgia on the day of Apollo’s sentencing with her mother and the boys. She says it is because paparazzi are in front of her house trying to snap pictures of the boys. I can assure you that did not happen. As you know I am Internet friends with her neighbors. They were paying attention that day because they didn’t want any more drama than the Nida’s usually bring to the neighborhood. There was not the first unusual car and zero paparazzi. Sorry Phaedra. I guess TMZ didn’t get your message.
Apollo does a talking head where he says he is not a murderer, he is not a child molester, he is not the guy on the corner selling cocaine. He understands what he has done is illegal, it’s wrong, but it’s fixable. He says he pled to wire fraud, bank fraud and mail fraud. He says that he “basically controlled shell corporations” and he got caught because a co-conspirator got into a bind and decided to bring him in. My wife and children left, and the woman I thought was supposed to be there for me and cherish me was nowhere to be found.
Phaedra tells her mother that Apollo is upset she is not going to court, but her going to court is not going to change anything. This is such a load of bullshit. She keeps saying all the media has been at the house. That did not happen. Phaedra gives a long speech about how she has to be a parent first.
Michael, Apollo’s brother walks in the house. Someone forgot to tell Michael to pretend like there were paps outside. LOL Apollo just confirmed there are no paps outside. Camera scans the empty street. Apollo says that Phaedra would not even write a statement for the judge saying he is a good father and asking for leniency.
Phaedra can’t even look at her mother when she denies knowing anything about what Apollo was up to. Phaedra says she doesn’t have time to follow behind Apollo to make sure he is doing the right thing. Montage of Apollo being a father. Apollo is crying just before sentencing.
Cynthia comes to visit Kenya. Kenya spent a lot of time traveling in Europe over the summer. She says she needed to get away after Porsha attacked her. Kenya talks about the attack and Porsha getting arrested. Kenya say that she was hurt that everyone ran over to Porsha when the assault happened. Cynthia did not and she did not support the others doing that. Kenya says that everyone looks at Porsha as if she has a handicap because she is stupid. Cynthia says she doesn’t see it as a handicap.
Cynthia is pissed at Nene for her comments on WWHL. Cynthia feels very betrayed and has not spoken to Nene since. There are showing this episode of WWHL but according my recap, Nene really didn’t trash Cynthia on that show. Okay it wasn’t that one and I don’t have time to hunt for the right one. Nene talked about Cynthia blowing whichever way the wind blows. I do remember her trashing her. It’s a different show though with a different black dress. Cynthia says she knows about her history because she has one that does not include a stripper pole. Man these talking heads are STYLED this season. I love Cynthia in the blue and yellow floral dress and the straight blondish hair. Cynthia says she is much happier without Nene in her life.
Meanwhile, Kandi goes to see a half nekkid Porsha doing a photoshoot. I guess all those rumors floating around the ATL about Porsha being an escort must have started from this scene. She sure dresses the part. Or um, undresses the part. Kandi and Porsha chat about Porsha’s new tits. Then Porsha talks about how she doesn’t think about Kenya because she’s a working girl. Or maybe she just said she was working. Same thing, right? Kandi seems to support Porsha attacking Kenya. Porsha talks to Kandi about people having to take “credit for their actions.” Perhaps responsibility had too many syllables? Either way, she seems to think that Kenya is the one that needs to “take the credit.” Porsha does a talking head to say that she will never apologize. But I must point out that Porsha looks STUNNING in the hot pink dress and that pink and clear rhinestone necklace is DO DIE FOR. I didn’t even care that it was a stupid one shoulder dress, because it is gorgeous. This was the one rare time for hot pink lip stick, she went too pale. It almost made me forget how stupid the things coming out of her mouth are. Almost.
Why didn’t Apollo’s judge tell to shave before his sentencing hearing? Strange that Apollo decides to call Todd on the car ride there and not his attorney. Apollo got 8 years as we know, but he won’t do anything near that. You can read how much time he will do here. They show a scene with Apollo and his brother and his mother in an empty restaurant after the sentencing. Phaedra talks about how she is the center of her boys lives. Whenever something happens in their life the CALL her. Because she has been in school, and on book tours, and on the Ellen Show, and filming in Puerto Rico and the Philippines and filming about town and handling all of her multiple businesses.
Nene’s rehearsal for the orgy scene is filmed. It’s.. well it’s bad. Really bad. In her defense, despite her past life as a stripper, Nene is not one to discuss her sex life. There have been many time when Kandi has just made Nene cringe with her sex talk. She was never excited about the strip club scenes so it’s no wonder she is not a good fit for this role.
Dear God. I know the Nenetards say I pick on Nene but girl, who is the stylist for HER talking heads? She needs to get with Porsha and Cynthia’s people stat! She has on a leopard dress with black trim that reminds me of Miss Kitty and I can’t even conjure up an image of Miss Kitty or remember her she is but I think that must be her dress. And she has on a half-dozen craptastic necklaces. Okay it’s just two long ones wrapped around several times. One has a giant black cross. I am not making this up. It’s not a pretty look. Am I supposed to pretend it is? And there are ginormous black earrings. No. Just no. She looks much better in her grey shirt and black yoga pants and cute hat and sandals.
Kandi and Todd disagree about Phaedra and Apollo. So far every scene they have they are on opposite sides of the issue. This really does not bode well for the marriage. What exactly are they on the same page about? Apollo drops by the office to see Kandi and Apollo and Kandi is a bit uncomfortable because she’s BFF’s with Phaedra so she leaves the boys to talk. Apollo says that Phaedra did not call him after the sentencing.
Cute 40 minute segment with Nene and two of her male Zumanity cast mates chatting.
Cynthia is working with clients and Peter shows up with a picnic basket full of lunch. Cynthia says with Nene gone she has a lot more time with her husband. Cynthia is back in her old modeling space, which I like a lot better than the place Peter moved her to anyway. They talk about their crazy landlord who didn’t use the rent to pay the mortgage and his properties going into foreclosure. A lot of people misunderstood that situation. You can read the real story here, be sure to click on the links within this post. Cynthia has such a good attitude. These two seem happy. Peter is focused on his BarOne in Charlotte. Peter asks Cynthia if she wants to be a partner, a silent investment partner.
Kandi goes to visit Phaedra in “Augusta” Phaedra is not sure whether it is best to let the boys visit or not. I can understand being conflicted about that. I have no idea what I would do in that situation or what I would advise a friend to do. Those boys are so little. Phaedra says that she has her emotional moments in private. You have to give the girl credit, she is holding up well.
Phaedra and her mother and the boys return home. Dylan doesn’t look happy. It appears that Ayden was sent out to play in the neighborhood during this filming. It seems to happen a lot when filming is going on. Sometimes his sitter is out there with him and sometimes she is not. Phaedra has a nanny and a sitter pretty much all the time. The nanny sleep over and the sitter joins the nanny all day until the boys are down for the night. Anyway, Phaedra and Apollo immediately get into it. Apollo is pissed that Phaedra did not show up on court. If you did not see this video of Apollo after the sentencing talking about Phaedra abandoning him and all sort of other things, CLICK HERE NOW it’s must see stuff full of Apolloisms. I did not feel sorry for him then, but I do have a pang of something happening knowing that he really was all alone during the week of his sentencing.
Apollo says even though Phaedra didn’t want to go to court, she could have stayed in the house with the kids and he could have seen them before he left on the chance that the judge decided to remand him immediately. He could have returned home from court to his family rather than an empty house. Is it because he looks cute in his talking head that this is starting to make sense to me? Apollo says that Phaedra never shared her RHOA check with him. He never saw a dime of that money. He’s basically saying he had to steal to have his own money. Thanks Apollo, I was almost starting to care. Phaedra tells him to stop telling lies. Apollo says that when they got married Phaedra told him he could just pay the utilities but two months in, she was asking for help to pay the $3,000 mortgage. Um, no, Apollo, if she told you her mortgage was $3,000 a month she lied. That might have been two months. Maybe she was behind, but the house before this one would not have a mortgage anywhere near that when y’all got married. Phaedra says that she has always paid for things for Apollo and he is out of his mind. Apollo says he has all his assets frozen and can’t even buy a hamburger. He owes the government $1.9 million dollars and none of her assets are frozen, he has brought no grief onto her. She has not lost her job or her house or he bank accounts. Phaedra says what about the public shame? Apollo says that is all Phaedra cares about. Well, Apollo, I agree that Phaedra is a media whore who seeks attention, but she has carefully crafted a façade to show to the public and you have blown that all up in her face. I think that right there is some grief and frankly I admire her composure while this conversation is going on. Apollo is finally catching on that Phaedra married him so she would have a husband and maybe some kids and he was “just a good specimen.” How is he just figuring out what we knew three episodes in to her first season? She needed to be “a housewife.” Apollo seems like he really loved her. Apollo says he doesn’t want to be in the relationship anymore. Apollo says she needs to come up with a game plan because he is not coming home to an apartment and no car. He seems to be asking Phaedra to have a house and a car for him when he gets out. Oh Apollo. You just don’t get it.
Next Week: Nene gets stage fright before her Zumanity performance, Kenya gets Apollo to admit the truth on camera one more time for the record, and as if Ayden’s life didn’t suck enough lately, the poor kid has to go to the dentist.