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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / American Horror Story: Freak Show Episode 5 Recap Pink Cupcakes & Hookers

American Horror Story: Freak Show Episode 5 Recap Pink Cupcakes & Hookers

November 7, 2014 by tamaratattles 82 Comments

 

AHS Freak Show mask face thingBy: Urethra Franklin

In a fantasy scene, The Morbidity Museum is hosting an elegant gala to unveil their newest exhibit of “Modern Mutations” provided by Stanley, or whatever his alias is in this scene. The curator removes the covering to reveal an aquarium with Paul the Illustrated Seal’s nude body inside with autopsy stitches. The director sure did spend a lot of money on this needless two-minute scene with guests dressed in black tie & puffy 50’s ball gowns. #Refund

Back to the present day in Stanley’s motel room, he’s telling Maggie about how he already paid a deposit for some tanks for when the time comes. Maggie is waffling on the scheme because she doesn’t want to be involved with murder.  He assures her no one will miss them because freaks run away from the circus and end up missing all the time. He needs to keep Elsa on his hook because she is his access to the freaks. When his gay porn magazines fall on the floor, Maggie warns Stanley to be more discreet because the town folks hate gays almost as much as freaks.  She confirms that she’s still down with the plan, but since she has to live with them she wants an extra 5% for #FreakTax.

Gloria waltzes down her grand staircase in a fabulous dressing robe & morning jewels wanting her morning coffee only to find Dora’s body. She screams for Dandy who says someone must have broken into the house & murdered her. Gloria knows Dandy killed her and starts screaming while scolding & swatting her murderous man-child, “She’s  a mother!!!” He cries that she said awful things to him. Upset that she has to clean up his messes, he offers to help & suggests burying her in the potagerie; such a fancy word for garden that my spell check won’t accept it. Gloria’s voice suddenly changes as she growls at him to go to his room and stay there.  Watching Dandy’s facial expression change from tearful little boy to a psychopathic smirk was chillingly brilliant. #Emmy

Back at the circus camp Stanley visits Elsa in her “I Dream of Jeannie” tent. She serves him Schnapps while he strokes her ego. He claims to work for the Worldwide Broadcasting Network and pitches that TV is the new thing… the future.  Elsa grimaces “I’d rather be boiled in oil than be on television.” Elsa finds it depressing to take the beauty & glamour of the silver screen & put it in a small box. Stanley tries to seduce Elsa that she would be in every living room of every home & could be a house hold name. She scoffs that her name would be next to instant coffee or “shamPOOO,” while behind her back Stanley is making faces of frustration at her lack of interest.  With passion Elsa tells him that she knows for a fact that motion pictures would never be replaced by TV because movies are the expression of souls & fantasies, and “Television is the death of art & civilization.” #WWMD

Outside Jimmy is trying to rehearse his way out of his stage fright. Because he helped save the kids from Twisty, there is a full house waiting for the show. Maggie notices him, and they flirt a little. She offers to read his palm, and she uses his fake reading to indirectly warn him about Stanley. She sees a man in his future: “He’ll tell you things, make you promises. He’s a liar. Stay away from him.” Maggie suggests he leave town and go to New York because he’s smart & good looking. He tries to kiss her, but she retreats. His spirits are low after being rejected, and he walks away.

The show is about to start when Ethel notices that Dell is missing. Jimmy goes to his trailer, but only Desiree is there. Her ass is drunk and refuses to go onstage even though she’s wearing her stage outfit. Desiree tells Jimmy that she knows everyone thinks Dell is a bully & a thug, but he has been good to her even though she was a freak. He was very proud of her(and her penis), and they had a good life for a little while. She used to feel alive; but now she feels ‘nuthin’, and thinks that Dell doesn’t want to be with her anymore. #TheFreaksAndTheRestlessAHS Freak doctor desiree

 

Jimmy is still upset and he’s crying about Meep’s death. He still blames himself, and Desiree consoles him. Lobster Boy leans in for a kiss but gets denied. She is holding his face and touching his lip while reconsidering the moment. Ooohhh Desiree goes all in, and she starts kissing Jimmy and telling him to make her “feel something again” while he’s fondling all three of her glorious breastesess. Jimmy starts finger banging her lady clam with his lobster hand, but Desiree starts shrieking in pain for him to stop, and his hand comes out bloody. Jimmy helps her walk out of the trailer shouting for someone to call a doctor. Ethel volunteers to help her, and tells Jimmy he’s needed for the show. #RedLobster

It’s show time! Salt & Pepper just finished their warm up act being adorable. Let’s pray that the writers have them rapping “Push It” just for giggles.  Fraulein Elsa comes out to reprise her performance of “Life on Mars”, but the audience is too pedestrian to appreciate her blue suit & matching eye shadow or her talent. They start chattering and looking at each other WTF? Elsa, who craves the spotlight, has the biggest audience she’s had in a while, and she is being pelted with popcorn & ridicule. Her body froze as she went numb with shock as her thumping heartbeats drowned out the boos. Jimmy whisked her off the stage. Later back to reality, Elsa’s choking on her words as she inquires to Stanley, “Tell me more about this…television.” …You know if this was modern day, Elsa would be weave pulling on reality TV. #RHOJ

I’m surprised the town folks acted like that. After all they did pay to attend the Freak Show to support the freaks as a thank you for saving the town. But I guess it was effective for character development into Elsa’s motives & delusions.

Ethel takes Desiree to her trusted doctor, and she’s nervous because she’s never had a medical exam before. She doesn’t menstruate regularly, only a couple times a year. She’s thinks Jimmy pierced a hole in her with his hands which made Ethel uncomfortable to hear. Desiree reveals to the doctor that she was delivered by a midwife & raised as a boy named Derek. Her parents were thrilled to finally have a boy until she hit puberty and her breasts started to grow in… all three of them. #UddersDelight

However, the doctor says the midwife was wrong in declaring her a boy. Her body produced too much testosterone which kicked her estrogen production into overdrive to compensate; hence her third breast and large clitoris. Oh yeah her penis is not a penis, but just an enlarged clitoris that can be surgically reduced. He tells her that physically and genetically, she is 100% woman. Plus her bleeding was the result of a miscarriage; she was 12 weeks pregnant. She is awestruck about her diagnosis.  She’s clearly upset about the miscarriage, but is happy about the possibility of getting pregnant by Dell. Ethel has a troubled look on her face when she hears this… Since I haven’t been near a vagina since the Clinton years, the 1st administration, I googled enlarged clitoris to see if it really looks like a dick. Yep it does; and after seeing all those mini-cock clits I am going to stop googling forever!!! # BonerKiller

At the Mott mansion, Gloria’s gardeners dig a 12 ft deep grave under the pretense that it’s for her special flower bulbs from Holland. While planting the flowers Dandy see’s the bright side of things; Dora’s decomposing body will nourish the flowers, and her death will not be in vain. “I’m sorry to have killed Dora, mother. I hate to put you out like this” is as remorseful as Dandy gets. #SorryNotSorry

Gloria reminds him that he has the same sickness as his father. Their mental perversions are typical for extremely rich people due to inbreeding among families; cousins marrying cousins just to keep the wealth in the family. A psycho or two in a family is a rite of passage. She further adds that Jack the Ripper was a Windsor. Gloria warns Dandy that he can’t kill homeless people like his father did because it’s 1952, people are missed. Almost as disturbed her son, Gloria promises to figure something out so that he can fulfill his urges. Instead Dandy blames his mother for everything; if she had only let him become an actor this would never have happened. “Mother, I need to express myself.” #Madonna

“Fame” by David Bowie is one of my favorite songs & Elsa’s too, because that’s her primping music. She is glamming herself up for publicity photos for her non-existent TV show. She’s working a merlot colored fur stole walking through the camp to Stanley’s car; however she sees the double-head twins in the backseat as he drives off without her. Her heart just drops. Once again, in her mind, those twins upstaged her. #UnderPressure

I don’t even feel like recapping this fakey fake out fantasy scene with Stanley & the twins. We’re supposed to GASP! and think that he killed the twins after he drove off with them. Their severed heads are floating in a tank in the Morbidity Museum.  Then another double fake flashback fantasy scene where Stanley offers the twins poisoned pink cupcakes while pitching them their own TV show. Only Bette digs in, and seconds later start frothing at the mouth. The twins are in bed, and Dot is crying because of the dead head next to hers, and she’s next. Stanley suffocates Dot.

In REALITY when offered the cupcakes, Dot refused because they have to watch their figures if they’re going to be TV stars… I mean come on seriously? If he wanted to kill them he could have just strangled them right there under that tree. He would have had the same logistical problems whether they ate the cupcakes or not. #PlotHoles

AHS Freak Dandy briefs

Dandy is in his man-boy play room working out looking HAWT wearing only white Chuck Taylor shoes & briefs and lots of body oil.  It’s all very homo-erotic. He flexes his muscles touching his body and practicing his acting faces with a voice over narration that was a direct homage to Patrick Bateman.

He explains that he would have been the best actor of all time if only his mother didn’t stand in the way of his dreams. But that door is closed, and another door opened.  He thinks that his body “is America – strong, violent, and full of limitless potential. It holds a heart that cannot love.” He felt nothing when slitting Dora’s throat; Twisty was put on Earth to show him “the sweet language of murder.”  He’s dressing himself in country club attire and staring at this reflection in the mirror, “I am no clown. I am perfection. I am greatness. I am the future. And the future starts tonight.” #AmericanPsycho

This season AHS is KILLING ME with their soundtrack. I love all the music choices so far, and I don’t care if they are anachronistic. It just works PERIOD. It’s like listening to a soundtrack of my life… With Bryan Ferry’s “Slave to Love” playing, Dandy cruises into a gay bar. He notices the wanted poster on the wall of himself wearing a clown mask. He literally bumps into Dell. OMFG! Dell sits at a table with Andy (Matt Bomer), a prostitute who hustles there. No surprise that Dell is a stage 5 clinger, and he’s very possessive of Andy. Even though he pays him for sex, Dell is in love with him. He’s been sneaking away from work every day for the past month just to see him. #DownLow

Dell offers to get Andy an apartment to live in until he has the courage to leave Desiree. When Andy starts talking about his other tricks Dell explodes with jealousy which was witnessed by everyone in the bar. Dell explains that’s he’s been closeted his whole life, and no one knows that he’s a freak; but he’s ready for a relationship with him. Dell cries & confesses that under his strong man image he has feelings too– love & pain. Andy calmly explains that the bar is his office, and spending time with Dell is his job.  Dell storms away. Dandy walks up to the table prompting Andy to list his prices to his new customer… Then Teresa screams & flips the table. #ProstitutionWHOAAR  ☺

As Elsa walks into the twins’ tent, she overhears them talking about the TV show that Stanley offered them. Elsa tries to play top dog by insisting that the television show will actually be hers, and that she’ll serve as the twins’ mentor. She tells them she’s taking them to her seamstress in the morning who will make them new outfits. Dot is suspicious, but Bette is all “Who cares? I’d love a new hat.”

Dell returns to the trailer & see’s that Desiree’s suitcase is packed. She tells him that she went to the doctor and found out that she is not a hermaphrodite. He is surprised to find out that she can have babies too. She also says that Ethel told her the truth that Dell’s father had lobster hands, and that Jimmy is his son. She’s furious at Dell because she thought she was the freak, but he’s the one that has freak blood in his body.

Angela Basset serves some fierce face while yelling at Dell that he’s a “sorry ass”, and she’s gonna have a normal life with a pretty house & babies, “but not wit’ chooo.” He scoffs “no one is gonna want a big dicked three tittied woman like you.” She is up in his face telling him that she just has extra-large lady parts, all cosmetic; and she is going to have surgery to fix them. When the doctor is done, she will be too much woman for him, a natural woman. #ArethaFranklin.

Dandy takes man-whore Andy to Twisty’s trailer to get his $100 worth. What kind of street smart hooker is Andy? I guess it’s the perils & risks of being gay in the 1950’s.  Though I am not and NEVER was a hooker, one of my perils was trying to find a subtle way to escape a guy’s apartment when I saw that all he had was a papasan chair. #Gross

AHS Freak Dandy underwear

When Andy touches Dandy he stops him, “I am not a fruit.” Instead Dandy proposes that they stand back to back and undress; then let the magic happen whatever that may be. They both strip down to their white briefs and turn around at the same time. Dandy is wearing Twisty’s stank mouth mask and without warning starts repeatedly stabbing Andy over & over & over in the torso. Dandy touches his own blood splattered semi-nude body while almost in a post orgasmic trance like state. But Andy is not dead yet. He’s coughing up blood & screaming for help, and Dandy starts repeatedly stabbing him in the back over & over, “Just DIE!”

Now paying homage to “Dexter,” Dandy is narrating good killer rules 101 on how to get rid of the evidence. He saws off his left arm & dissolves it an acid bath (in the woods). He returns to saw off his left arm, and Andy is still not dead.  Dandy is bewildered, “How can you still be alive? You’re making me feel bad. Stop it!” Andy is begging Dandy to kill him, and he continues sawing away at him.

Back at the mansion Gloria receives a call from Regina (Gabourey Sidibe), who is Dora’s daughter. She’s in secretary school in New York City, and she’s worried because her mother missed their weekly phone call. Gloria lies and says Dora is busy & not available. Then she asks Regina how she was as a mother. When Regina was young, she and Dandy used to play together. Regina recalls that the nannies spent more time with Dandy than she did.

Tearfully Gloria tells Regina that she raised Dandy the same way that she, herself, was raised.  Gloria remembers the time that Dandy had a fever, and she did not go into his room to help him; she sent the nanny instead, and he never called for her to help again. Regina is uncomfortable with the oversharing and hangs up. Dandy calls out to his mother as appears in the doorway still in his underwear briefs and totally covered in blood in the middle of the day. #MamaDrama

Dell visits the doctor who’s offered to operate on Desiree. He breaks the man’s fingers and threatens his entire family, unless the doctor never sees Desiree again… Elsa is driving the twins’ into town, but she makes a stop at the Mott mansion. When Gloria opens the door Elsa greets her, “I have brought you something I believe you want.” #FreaksForDandy

Do you think Dell will be a suspect in Andy’s disappearance? Will Stanley kill a freak next week? Do you love how Ethel & Desiree are roommates now? How on earth did Dandy get all the way home semi-nude & bloodied without anyone seeing him? What is Dandy going to do with the Tattler twins? Did you all love the music and the homage to American Pyscho? #Perfect

What did you Freaktards think about “Pink Cupcakes”, the gayest AHS episode to date? I hope y’all are still interested even though my recap is a little late. Please stalk me like Dandy in a gay bar @Urethra_F

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Filed Under: Entertainment News Tagged With: Amazon Eve, American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Freak Show, Andy Cohen, Angela Bassett, Bearded Lady, Bette and Dot Tattler, Bryan Ferry, Clown Killer, cupcakes, Dandy Mott, David Bowie, Dell, Dell Toledo, Denis O'Hare, Desire Dupree, Desiree, Desiree Dupree, Dora, Edward Mordrake, Elsa, Elsa Mars, Emma Roberts, Entertainment, Entertainment News, Erika Ervin, Ethel Darling, Evan Peters, Florida, Frances Conroy, Freak, Freaks, FX, Gabourey Sidibe, Germany, Gloria, Gloria Mott, Gods and Monsters, Halloween, Halloween costume, Halloween episode, Jack the Ripper, Jamie Brewer, Jessica Lange, Jim Morrison, Jimmy Darling, John Carroll Lynch, John Wayne, Jupiter, Jyoti Amge, Kathy Bates, Legless Suzi, Ma Petite, Maggie Esmeralda, Maggie Esmerelda, Marlene Dietrich, Mat Fraser, Matt Bomer, Meep, Michael Chiklis, Mistress Elsa, Naomi Grossman, News Archive, Ooohhh Desiree, Patti LuPone, Paul the Illustrated Seal, Pepper, Pink, Rose Siggins, Sarah Paulson, Skyler Samuels, Stanley, Steven Meisel, The Greatest Show on Earth, The Watchers, Three Breasts, Twisty, Twisty the Clown, Two-headed Lady, Urethra Franklin, Watch What Happens Live, Wes Bentley, WWHL

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Ellis Scarlett says

    November 7, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    I didn’t really care for the fake-outs either. (He’s dead!! Oh, it was a dream! He killed the twins!!! Oh, no, he really didn’t.) AND they killed Matt Bomer off in a single episode!! Couldn’t they at least give us a chance to admire him a little longer?

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 7, 2014 at 8:48 pm

      I loved his characters bluntness with Dell.

      RM described their bar scene as having a demented Tennessee Williams feel to it, and it sure did. It was smoldering with sexual torment. #QueerOnAHotTinRoof

      Reply
      • tulsateacher says

        November 9, 2014 at 1:16 pm

        When he said Dell didn’t even give him time to wipe his dick off before he left, I died!

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        November 9, 2014 at 10:57 pm

        Yes that was some frank talk!

        Reply
      • tulsateacher says

        November 10, 2014 at 1:02 pm

        Don’t know if this has already been mentioned downthread UF but did you notice that Dandy was wearing training underwear, or whatever they called it in 1952. His tighty whities had a thick back and looked like the training pants that were used before disposable diapers or pull ups. I may be reaching but your recaps have me looking for anything and everything that could be considered symbolic and Dandy having bedwetting issues would make sense. We know he kills animals and bed wetting is another childhood trait usually associated with sociopathic murderers.

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        November 10, 2014 at 1:18 pm

        What an interesting observation and analysis of human behavior that goes with it. I don’t know what underwear briefs looked like back in the day, and I’m not a mom/dad to have ever handled training underwear but THANKS for sharing that. Dandy does have the temperament of a 7 year old boy with an excellent vocabulary and penchant for cognac & ummm murdering folks & animals. TY for reading and being a great Freaktard!

        Reply
      • tulsateacher says

        November 10, 2014 at 8:19 pm

        UT- I am so glad that I jumped on the AHS train. This is the first season I have watched and I love your recaps! I look forward to reading all of the freaktards’ comments and theories. It’s just fun and a much welcome distraction for me right now!!!

        Reply
  2. belladonna says

    November 7, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    I found this the most disturbing episode yet. I could deal with Twisty, but Dandy is just evil incarnate. And his mother. Don’t worry dear, we’ll bury the body in the back yard and plant flowers. Inbreeding and family ties, don’t worry, we’re used to covering up for the family psychopath.

    I like the doctor who treated Ethel with respect and who could tell a hermaphrodite what was really going on. Del breaking the doctor’s fingers because he dared to say she was a she. Del is the character I love to hate.

    When David Bowie’s “Fame” started, with Elsa doing her makeup, I was enthralled.

    Reply
  3. Urethra Franklin says

    November 7, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    #PlotHoles—->> Wouldn’t the police have Twisty’s school bus somewhat off limits for their police investigation? Is it risky for Dandy to go back there and commit more crimes? His acid tub of death is there. Well at least there was no CSI stuff back in those days.

    Reply
  4. Urethra Franklin says

    November 7, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Gaborey Sidibie’s acting in that short scene SUCKED BAD. Just sayin’.

    Reply
    • RealChicagoHousewife says

      November 8, 2014 at 9:01 am

      I’m really hoping that her character doesn’t turn out to be just a mousy secretary. I want her to take on Dandy.

      Reply
    • Jacque says

      November 10, 2014 at 7:39 am

      I’ll give her some slack for the bad acting this week. It’s really hard to act when it’s just you and a phone. There is no one on the other end and you have to act like there is….

      Reply
  5. Urethra Franklin says

    November 7, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    I have never heard of Finn Wittrock until AHS, and his brilliant portrayal of Dandy Mott is knocking my socks off. That guy can act. His face is so expressive & malleable. Just give him is awards, and I hope he comes back next year. Buh-Bye Evan Peters Bye

    Reply
    • ChippedLaps says

      November 8, 2014 at 11:54 am

      Totally agree with this! I just knew when the Dandy and Gloria characters came into the story that these 2 would be the real ‘freaks’ of the show! He is mesmerizing and terrifying to watch..a great actor!
      Yes, buh-bye Evan Peters..he bores the hell outa me.

      Reply
  6. BeetsWhy says

    November 7, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    I am assuming/hoping that Gabourey Sidibe’s role will increase…she was a little stiff in the acting, but I want to see her character kick some Dandy butt! She and Desiree’s medical complications for the best part of this episode, waiting for next week!

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 7, 2014 at 9:16 pm

      Since they were childhood friends, I expect that they would have scenes together, and it would be poetic if she does some vigilante justice against Dandy for her mother. Just my #Spoiler theory.

      Reply
  7. hannahkingrose says

    November 7, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    As usual UF you have given us an awesome recap. I live for it each week. As impatient as I normally am, I don’t mind waiting because I know it is going to be so worth it. I agree UF. Even a first time watcher of AHS would know that Dot/Bette would not be killed off this early in the season so it was kind of a waste of time. Even the premise of how Stanley was going to do it was lame. I’ve decided I really am a Freaktard because Dandy stabbing Andy or throwing his limbs in the acid didn’t have me closing my eyes. However, when Dell broke the doctor’s hands and fingers, I winced and had to turn my head. Lol. I swear I heard the bones cracking. I have a question that I could probably research myself but just figure maybe someone already knows. When Gloria said that Jack the Ripper was a Windsor, has that been a rumored legend through the years or just a made up line for her to say? One last question. Will we be seeing Gabourney/Regina in the next episode?

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 7, 2014 at 9:14 pm

      There have been many suspects accused/theorized of being Jack the Ripper. One of them is Prince Albert Victor (who went by the name Eddy) was grandson to Queen Victoria and son of Prince Albert Edward.

      Yes Regina will be back for 3 or 4 more episodes.

      Reply
    • Pam says

      November 8, 2014 at 11:55 pm

      They actually did find out who the real jack the ripper was..he wasn’t a Windsor. He was a creeper who lived with his sister around the same area that he killed woman in. His name was Aaron Kosminski. He died in an insane asylum.

      Reply
      • Jae says

        November 9, 2014 at 9:04 am

        Pam:

        That’s just conjecture.

        There are inherent problems with trying to test DNA taken from a scarf of unknown ownership, including what parts of DNA were still usable as well as the century plus years of contamination.

        Reply
  8. Urethra Franklin says

    November 7, 2014 at 9:30 pm

    #WWMD=What would Marlene do?

    Reply
  9. catazure says

    November 7, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    I appreciate the recaps because I absolutely cannot watch the show any more. It is just too ishing ick!

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 7, 2014 at 11:12 pm

      That hurts my soul, but I understand it’s not for everyone. Twisty was the only storyline that freaked me out. Dandy is well, just so wickedly cute.

      Reply
      • Cat says

        November 10, 2014 at 3:57 pm

        I miss Twisty. He was my favorite character. I didn’t even make popcorn this week. 🙁

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        November 10, 2014 at 4:42 pm

        I’m serious when I say Twisty really freaked me out in the 1st episode. He will be in ONE more episode this season in some way. Personally I’m enjoying the heck out of Dandy.

        Reply
  10. steve says

    November 7, 2014 at 10:57 pm

    in asylum pepper said she was blamed for killing her brothers kid. think maybe dandy had a hand in that? or did she say who really killed the kid? waiting for my sister mary eunice to appear.

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 7, 2014 at 11:08 pm

      Steve don’t hold me to this but somewhere in the back of my mind I want to say that it was Peppers brother-in-law that framed her for baby killing.

      Reply
  11. Micheal says

    November 7, 2014 at 11:02 pm

    Argh! I was hoping for a Jack the Ripper season. Make it so! I said this only a week or so ago.

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 7, 2014 at 11:07 pm

      Yes you did, but this AMERICAN Horror Story.

      Reply
      • Micheal says

        November 7, 2014 at 11:14 pm

        Maybe they can make it that the reason the Windsors are in America is because they snuck Jack out of England. There a perfect slasher season. 😀

        Reply
      • steve says

        November 7, 2014 at 11:40 pm

        nobody knows where jack went after the last london murder. and similar murders started in NYC not too long after. so why cant we have a jack the ripper season other than we need more than jack as interesting characters. mordrake could be the clue, practicing how jack would be

        Reply
      • Jae says

        November 8, 2014 at 12:49 am

        Ah, but there is the theory that HH Holmes was Jack the Ripper so it’s not inconceivable that there could be a Jack the Ripper AHS.

        Reply
  12. Angel says

    November 7, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Gaborey really did phone in her scene, I’m certain she will turn it up soon.

    I actually liked and was fooled by the scenes in the Morbidity Museum. In the opener with “Seal Boy” in the tank, I was shocked and thought he was dead. I expected it to then switch back to the story for the episode being how he got there. Sort of how they do on HTGAWM, show the guy dead, then backtrack to tell the story.

    Then, when back to the museum again, Bette and Dot are in the tank, I thought I’d not fall for that trick again. But I did, so gullible. The matronly curator of the Morbidity Museum must have a personal story very contrary to her prissy, proper appearance.

    I looove AHS Freak Show. UF, thanks again, another week enhanced by your insight and clever humor.

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 7, 2014 at 11:16 pm

      “Gaborey really did phone in her scene” 🙂 LOL yes she did…Literally.

      Reply
  13. LookersMissesMelissa says

    November 7, 2014 at 11:39 pm

    I am a HUGE American Psycho fan, so Dandy’s homo-erotic homage was the best thing I’ve watched on a TV series in…ever. The full body shots of his demented ass working out like a MADman, the voice over narration with that perfect script..how his body IS America & ending it with “I am the future”…I thought nothing would beat Coven (for me), the FreakShow just did!

    The writing & acting is simply amaYzeeeng! Add that to the music..holy crap! It’s obvious that the music is a very important part of this series. These people are drawing real deal emotion out of people. That’s what movies, Series, shows…ACTING is all about. This crew best win Emmys for this season.

    I too could’ve done without ALL of the annoying Stanley “fantasy” scenes. Stop wastin mah flava & keep it movin.

    The Tattler Twins WILL survive psycho Dandy, and I hope they return to Elsa’s tent & burn all her makeup #worstpossiblethingever.
    Or hide her legs hehe #iamevilandimustbestopped
    #RHOBH

    Once again your review was absolute perfection Urethra thank you, as was your “pre review”. Looking forward to next weeks!

    Reply
  14. Urethra Franklin says

    November 7, 2014 at 11:49 pm

    Wasn’t obvious early on that Dell was going to be a closeted gay?

    RM is really pumping out the gay story lines this season. I still wonder if Dandy is asexual, straight, gay, or bi? Will we find out? I was expecting some illegal in 12 states adult activities between Dandy & Andy before he killed him. Dandy knew exactly where that bar was, which had to be hard to find in the 1950’s.

    Reply
    • Angel says

      November 8, 2014 at 12:10 am

      Bar could be anywhere in Ft. Lauderdale, from what I hear.

      Reply
      • Jae says

        November 8, 2014 at 9:51 am

        Angel:

        I guess it’s plausible that the bar could have been in Lauderdale, but it would be a little more than coincidence that both Dell and Dandy wound up at a gay bar over an hour away.

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        November 8, 2014 at 10:38 am

        Jae you must not know how regularly gay guys flock to whatever gay bar they have access to.

        Back in the early 90’s pre-internet & pre-Grindr I had MANY awkward “coincidences” of running into MANY people I knew who were closeted or my female cousin fag-hags.

        My point is yes it was a coincidence in the context of the show, but from my experience trolling bars, its a coincidence I’m all too familiar with.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          November 8, 2014 at 12:13 pm

          slut.​

          On Sat, Nov 8, 2014 at 10:38 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
      • Jae says

        November 8, 2014 at 12:31 pm

        Oh Urethra, do you have to be right? Makes total sense. I doubt there would have been a gay bar in Jupiter in 1952 (possibly not now either).

        As for HH Holmes, I wouldnt have thought about him if not for you. We just build on your spoilers and recaps.

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        November 8, 2014 at 1:11 pm

        That’s why I love the discussions here Jae. Collectively we all make one smart person. LOL.

        Reply
  15. steve says

    November 8, 2014 at 12:12 am

    elsa is german but is an AHS character, why cant jack come to america for season 5? where did he go after london? nobody knows

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 8, 2014 at 12:32 am

      True. I suppose RM could fictionalize Jack the Ripper just as he did with the Axeman, Marie Laveau, & LaLaurie.

      For season 5 we know RM said a clue is a top hat, and another source I stalk said the setting would be the 19th century, so all that fits with a Jack the Ripper idea, but I still don’t think he would anything but a side character.

      You guys rock but y’all are so myopic on this Jack the Ripper idea.

      Reply
      • Jae says

        November 8, 2014 at 12:57 am

        I’m tellin ya, HH Holmes is a possibility. He’s the first known American serial killer. Circa 1890s Chicago. While the first world’s fair was being planned.

        Reply
      • steve says

        November 8, 2014 at 1:28 am

        what is your opinion for next season? its all speculation anyway. im going to enjoy it whatever it turns out to be, i dont want to nitpick the show apart like so many do. i like the song choices so far no matter what year they are from. i just dont like hearing ” he is from london and this is AMERICAN Horror Story” so i add my 2 cents

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        November 8, 2014 at 1:36 am

        RM is the one that says the show themes will always be based in America. A few weeks ago there was a lot of speculation for S5, and people were guessing that it would be space related because of elsa MARS in JUPITER florida singing about life on MARS, etc… RM said the show is called American Horror Story not Space Horror Story, so that’s I why I feel the same about Jack the Ripper.

        I think I’m much better with the less nitpicking this season, because I find it to be a very good 5 episodes so far. But I have to find stuff to write about because I love the dialogue w/ y’all.

        But my lame idea for next season? Hmmmm. The Illumaniti? I know nothing about them.

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        November 8, 2014 at 10:11 am

        Jae your idea is interesting. RM did say clues where in first 2 episodes, and in the 2nd episode Dell & Desiree fled CHICAGO. So hmmm. I never heard of HH Holmes. You guys are so much damn smarter than me.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          November 8, 2014 at 10:34 am

          unpossible. 🙂

          Reply
    • Julie says

      November 8, 2014 at 10:44 am

      There’s a theory that Jack was a merchant seaman who travelled to NY, and committed Ripper type murders there. It was a documentary last year. When the story of the DNA match came out this year, I didn’t believe it, because this other theory was so compelling. If top hat is a clue, could it be a magician story next season?

      Reply
  16. hokiechick says

    November 8, 2014 at 12:25 am

    OMG, perfection! You covered every single thing I noticed watching it twice, and answered some of my “I wonder why….?” questions. Again, they covered a lot of ground this episode!

    Reply
  17. steve says

    November 8, 2014 at 2:08 am

    to me the biggest drawback to jack is its only one character and we need the ensemble. how about something like the donner party, thats true horror…in america, in the 19th century and includes lots of people. no matter, i have and will enjoy whatever RM brings to AHS also its another year away.

    Reply
  18. hannahkingrose says

    November 8, 2014 at 5:14 am

    I’ve stopped thinking so much about the connection for next season but I’m still with UF on the illuminati thing for some reason after a little digging. Anyway, now my question is about another plot hole. Since the kids were rescued by Jimmy and Maggie and they all saw Dandy, why hasn’t anyone questioned him? The girl saw his face when he caught her and brought her back to Twisty in the woods. Jimmy knows him because Dandy tried to talk Jimmy into giving him a job. Even if Jimmy never saw his face, the girl did and surely she reported another guy in on the kidnapping. Things that make you go hmmm.

    Reply
    • Micheal says

      November 8, 2014 at 6:37 am

      I didn’t even think of that… damn you! 😀

      An illuminati or cult type season would be cool. Throw in a bit of inbreeding and it should be fun.

      Reply
  19. Sara says

    November 8, 2014 at 7:21 am

    There were a couple of…ugh moments for me. Two fake out scenes in one hour..ugh. Andy (my son’s name and oh yeah Awesome Matt Bomer) gets killed off the same day he is introduced to us…ugh. Gaboray acting..ugh. Then there is Ms Angela Bassett…that woman…100% woman we find out can do no wrong. She could read the dialog from the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion and make even that sound good.

    UF, you know how good you are at re-capping so I will not pile on..Plus we don’t want TT to shorten the chain to the radiator again.

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 8, 2014 at 10:44 am

      Those fake out scenes were such a waste of time and nothing but filler. What was the point of using a fakey fake out scene just to call Dinah Shore “high yellow”???

      Reply
    • steve says

      November 9, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      wasnt the illuminati mainly a men only orginization? there are too many strong women actors in AHS what parts will they play?

      Reply
  20. ourrandomreflections says

    November 8, 2014 at 7:39 am

    I can’t watch this crazy shit

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 8, 2014 at 10:13 am

      Open your mind and FEEL things please.

      Reply
  21. Angel says

    November 8, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    H H Holmes would be perfect for AHS. I recommend reading about him. I discovered his existence while reading about the Columbian Exposition, as a lover of nearby Chicago.

    Reply
    • Jae says

      November 8, 2014 at 5:48 pm

      Angel:

      Was it “Devil in the White City” that you read?

      Reply
      • itwasjulie says

        November 8, 2014 at 8:18 pm

        I love that book, Eric Larson is a master of factual history and horror. Read all his books.

        Reply
      • Jae says

        November 8, 2014 at 9:12 pm

        Really Julie? I had a hard time with it. I think it was the heavy handedness of the World’s Fair history. I was reading it to write a book review for a serial killer website and was hoping for a more gruesome tale about HH Holmes.

        Reply
      • Angel says

        November 9, 2014 at 4:04 pm

        It was several years ago I read about Holmes.. I have a bad memory. I believe the Chicago Tribune was the first source. After that I saw a good documentary on Chicago’s PBS station, I believe produced and narrated by Jeffery Baer, I hope name is correct. I believe that book you sited was one resource for it.

        The amount of premeditation by Holmes is astounding. Building a 3 story “murder castle” with trap doors and death devices, then calling it a hotel during the world’s fair, luring visitors inside.

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        November 9, 2014 at 10:53 pm

        Angel I think there was an episode on Dexter once where the killer used a house for some multi-level maze with trap doors & death devices so that he could terrorize and kill woman. Now that I know a little about Holmes, I am sure he was the inspiration for that Dexter storyline.

        Reply
    • Angel says

      November 9, 2014 at 9:16 pm

      Upon further reading, I find out a movie is being made about Holmes. I doubt the producers of AHS will do any subject that is being covered elsewhere.

      Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        November 9, 2014 at 10:45 pm

        I think you’re right. That’s how I feel about the idea of S5 revolving around Jack the Ripper. I think it’s been done on tv & movies before, and RM likes to present new stories.

        Reply
  22. Pam says

    November 9, 2014 at 12:07 am

    I had a hard time with this episode knowing what was real and what was fantasy. I thought all of it was great. Is anyone else interested in knowing what is between Stanleys legs?? I’m thinking he’s a little freaky himself. He may get double crossed by Maggie and end up in a jar maybe?? or wishful thinking..(my guess is it’s a third leg..literally..hey, I would pay to see that!)

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 9, 2014 at 11:50 am

      Though Stanley is packing quite the bulge, it’s not a third leg; but it is likely another character would be introduced that does have one. If you look at the main titles opening, you will notice that there is a creepy clown faced figure with a swinging crotch leg.

      Reply
  23. sequoia says

    November 9, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    I had never watched AHS until I started reading your excellent recaps. Now I’m hooked on both (and I’m finally caught up… on both). Your recaps are thoughtful, intelligent, entertaining and insightful. So thanks for the new show and the hard work,

    Cheers!

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:49 pm

      I love love love that I influenced even a few people to try the show and become fans. Best compliment ever. TY for reading.

      Reply
  24. J.D. (@JaMailMail) says

    November 9, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    This recap was EXCELLENT! I loved the hashtags at the end of almost every paragraph. This was the best episode to date this season!

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:47 pm

      TY JD. You should see the hashtags that don’t make it in. Edit edit edit. I hope TT doesn’t come in here abusing you again by calling you the village idiot. LOL

      Reply
  25. blooshter says

    November 10, 2014 at 8:51 am

    im thinking the top hat clue was mordrake and thus jekyl and Hyde

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 10, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      RM said the top hat was an “arcane clue”. I think there is enough information out there about Jekyl & Hyde to disqualify them from being arcane.THANKS for adding to the dialogue. Keep ’em coming folks.

      Reply
  26. Urethra Franklin says

    November 10, 2014 at 5:04 pm

    I just realized that I forgot to mention Pepper in this recap. He/She was trying to get help for Desiree by shouting”blood blood.” I am greatly amused by Pepper.

    Reply
  27. Judes says

    November 12, 2014 at 2:34 am

    What is dandy followed Dell to that bar on purpose because he seem to come in shortly after Dell. He also approached Andy almost immediately after Dell left. Maybe Andy was his target because he heard the conversation and knew Dells feelings for Andy.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      November 12, 2014 at 8:54 am

      Where is my precap?

      /turns toward UF to reveal…..

      CLOWNFACE!

      bwahahahahahahahah

      get thee to the radiator! ​

      On Wed, Nov 12, 2014 at 2:34 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 12, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      Plausible yes, but I don’t think Dandy followed Dell.

      Reply
      • Judes says

        November 13, 2014 at 12:54 am

        Yeah probably not. I just thought with so many people questioning how they could’ve ended up in the same bar and with Dandy choosing Andy as his victim almost immediately after Dell left. That it might have been more than a coincidence. Especially knowing that Dandy was at that bar the entire time Dell and Andy were talking. What was Dandy doing during that time and why didn’t he approach someone else to kill as soon as he got there? We saw Dell and Dandy bump into each other before Dell sat down with Andy.

        Reply
  28. Popcorn and Vodka (@popcornandvodka) says

    November 12, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    UF, I have to recap this show for another site (always later than you!) and it’s a struggle to not read yours before I write mine. I’m afraid my brain will store some fabulous line of yours and then accidentally type it out in my own recap. I absolutely LOVE your hashtags. You are really really good at recapping (a tough job, I know!!) #respect

    As far as the anachronistic musical cues, I think Murphy exonerated himself on that point in the very first line of episode one: “Dear Diary, it was Saturday, the third of September…” but that date in 1952 was a Wednesday. So Murphy declares an alternate universe right from the start. So I say Keep on with the amazing music, Murphy!!! It’s the one thing he does right every single episode. #creditwhereitsdue

    I wasn’t impressed with Gabourey’s acting in Coven either, quite frankly. #sorrybuttrue

    Anyway, I adore you, UF, and from one recapper to another, I give you MUCH respect. #bowdown

    Reply
    • Urethra Franklin says

      November 12, 2014 at 9:56 pm

      This season is so much harder to recap than Coven.
      I would love to read your recaps too. Tweet me the link please
      @ Urethra_F ……And Thank You so much for the compliments.

      Reply

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