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You are here: Home / jodi arias / Jodi Arias’ Allocution from 2013

Jodi Arias’ Allocution from 2013

November 1, 2014 by tamaratattles 29 Comments

Please check out all of croakerqueen123’s Jodi Arias Youtubes. She’s the best!

In case you missed it or just want to refresh your memory here is what Jodi said in her allocution last time. It is expected that her statements to the court would be something similar to this. The transcript is below. She could of course say anything she wants and change her story all she wants to if she gives an allocution because she is not under oath. Basically, if she gets to live she will donate to locks of love and do charity work and have reading groups in prison.
Judge Sherry Stephens: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Arias had intended to present the testimony of Patricia Womack. Miss Womack was supposed to testify regarding the abusive environment Miss Arias grew up in as well as the abuse she suffered as an adult. Miss Womack is unavailable to testify.

Ladies and gentlemen, the defendant will now speak to you. This statement is not made under oath and is not subject to cross examination.

Miss Arias, you may proceed.

Miss Arias, please wait to begin. One of the jurors needs to…have a new headset.

You may proceed.

Jodi Arias: Thank you.

Some months back, while the first phase of this trial was ongoing, my Mom visited me just like she had been doing every week since trial began. She told me that after leaving the courthouse she was idling at a stop light and she happened to look over at the car next to her and Travis’ siblings were in that car.

My Mom and I were silent for a few moments when she finally voiced exactly what I was thinking. She said “I know they’re going through hell.” Yet nothing drove that point home for me more than when I heard them speak last week. I never meant to cause them so much pain.

When Stephen said he read on Travis’s 3 by 5 card that it said “Call Stephen” and that he never got that call, I know that’s because of me. And when Samantha showed us the last picture that she took with Travis I know it’s because of me that will always be the last picture that she’ll ever take with Travis.

jodidefenseThroughout this trial I’ve avoided looking at Travis’ family for a variety of reasons that I won’t go into but I wondered “Where is his Grandma?” “Is she here?” I didn’t learn until last week what happened to her.

Samantha said that Travis was the glue to their family. Around Thanksgiving last — not last year — in 2007, Travis called me. He was really upset. He said his grandmaother was ill and frail and that he didn’t know if she was going to make it. He said he didn’t know what his family would do if she didn’t make it because she was the glue to their family. To know now that both are gone and that I may have also inadvertantly induced her passing destroys me.

Every time I’ve had the thought or desired to commit suicide there has been one element that has always, almost always caused me to waver. They’re sitting right over there (turns and points to her family in the gallery). They’re my family.

At times I’ve lost track of that element. For example, the incident I testified to when I took my razor apart in the Siskiyou County jail I managed to convince myself that they would get over the pain with time and that in the long run I was doing them a favor by unburdening them of my presence and their lives.

I wrote a bunch of them goodbye letters, addressed specifically to each person, and in the letters I didn’t focus so much on explanations but on how much and why I loved each of them. Then I wrote a general explanatory letter to help them understand my decision. At that time I saw it as taking myself off of life support. I didn’t know a lot of anything about prison at that time and I didn’t think it was fair to expect my family to have to support me for the rest of my life.

I didn’t know then that if I got life instead of death I could become employed and self-reliant. I didn’t know that if I got life there are many things I can do to effect positive change and contribute in a meaningful way.

Jodi's mother and aunt.
Jodi’s mother and aunt.

In prison there are programs I can start and people I can help and programs that I can continue to participate in. I’ll share a few examples that I thought of.

(steps back to take pieces of paper from table)

A few months before the trial, and by that I mean jury selection, my hair was past my waist and I donated it (positioning paper on projector to show image on monitor) to Locks of Love, a non-profit which creates wigs for cancer patients who have lost their hair. In fact that was my third donation to that organization since I was arrested. If I’m allowed to live in prison I will continue to donate to that organization for the rest of my life.

(she removes image from projector)

Over the years I have spent in incarceration I have received many requests from women to teach them Spanish or American sign language. Because my case was pending I just didn’t have the time. In prison I will. If I’m sentenced to life I will live among the general population of women and I’ll be able to share my knowledge of those subjects with them, the ones who have a desire to learn also. I may even be able to start classes.

If I get permission, I’d like to implement a recycling program. The women’s prison in Goodyear)(?) houses thousands of women and each week huge loads of waste are hauled off to a landfill. A substantial portion of that could be kept out of landfill and be recycled instead. It may even create new jobs for the people there. This is one small thing that could have a far reaching impact on the community and on the planet.

There is a higher rate of illiteracy in prison than in everyday society. I know that reading has enriched my life by expanding my knowledge base and opening my eyes to new worlds and different cultures. I can help other women become literate so that they too can add that dimension to their lives.

Along the lines of literacy I’d like to start a book club or a reading group, something that brings people together in a positive and constructive way so that we can share and recommend other good books and stimulate discussions of a higher nature.

Additionally I’ve designed a t-shirt (steps back and takes t-shirt off side table, holds it to show the word “Survivor” printed on a white t-shirt.). This is the t-shirt, which one hundred percent of the proceeds go to support non-profit organizations (folds t-shirt and puts it back on table) that also assist other victims of domestic violence. Some people may not believe that I am a survivor of domestic violence. They’re entitled to their opinion. I’m supporting this cause because it is very, very important to me.

These are only a handful of examples. I’ve never been to prison. I don’t know from personal experience what it’s like there, but I’m certain that after I arrive I’ll likely find many other ways in which I can contribute to the women there.

Jodi Arias Day 2I’d like to share with you now a few things about me and a few things about my family.

(steps back and takes remote control from table to begin a presentation of photos shown on the monitors, different photos are shown while she speaks)

When I was little my Mom took a lot of pictures of me. I’m the first child. She almost…she, she had her camera everywhere and she would take a lot of pictures of me when I was first born. Selinas is near the coast and it seems that many were overcast days but when it was sunny she would take me out to the backyard and turn on the sprinkler so I could play. That’s me attempting to dress myself.

A few years later, um, Carl came along. My little brother. And we became inseparable. When we were little my parents took us everywhere, including Sea World here and Hawaii. But my fondest memories with him are of us sneaking off at home on a lazy Saturday, just making a mess of the living room in our pajamas.

When I was 11 years old and the slide is background(?) I apologize, when I was 11 years old my little sister Angela was born 4 weeks early. I think possibly came here(??) I was so excited to have a baby sister. I watched my Mom study growa(?) I watched Angela come into this world and after the doctor swaddled her(?) he turned to me and turned to my Mom and said “Do you want to hold her first?”

These are various school pictures and on occasion my family and I would get together for family portraits such as these. In ninth grade my family and I moved back to Yreka but I still went back to Santa Maria periodically to visit friends.

This is Patti. She was my best friend for years. She was here last week to testify on my behalf, as you heard Mr. Nurmi tell you in opening statements but she didn’t return today because she and her 9 year old daugther were threatened and harrassed if she came back to this state.

I’m 21 years old here. After I moved out of my parents house at the age of 17 my relationship with my Dad improved a little.

This is my Grandma and her twins. My aunt is on the left and my Mom is on the right.

These are my parents when they were just a little bit younger.

This is Bobby and I. It’s a little out of order chronologically. We’re hanging out in our dirty little rundown house in Montague that I had mentioned previously. At times we lived there without power and phone. The winters were freezing, we could see our breath inside the house.

My parents did not support this relationship and we were young and just trying to figure out life on our own. When this picture, when I see this picture I’m reminded of that quote by Charles Dickens when he says “they were the best of times, they were the worst of times.” We’re smiling here in this picture taken by set(?). It was a difficult relationship but Bobby will always be special to me.

I’m 21 here. This is a photo of Matt McCartney and I. It was taken a few months after we broke up, a few months after he moved down to Big Sur where I was working at Vintona(?). As you know we remained friends and on this day we realized Vintona’s company passes to tour the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Darryl and I began seeing each other a little over a year after that. In this photo I’m coming out of a red-headed stage that I went through for a few years. This is one of my favorite pictures of Darryl and me. We were at Chimos(?) a restaurant in Monterey where our friend Tony and his band were playing blues and regaee live. He dedicated songs to us and we danced. Darryl was a good dancer.

When we began dating we started a yearly tradition in which we’d go camping every summer at this remote little campground, it’s called Kurt Creek(?). It’s south of Big Sur in an area that the locals call the south coast.

This is Darryl, Jack and I in Vinton(?). It’s hard to see in this photo but the ocean is in the background. It’s on the terrace.

After we bought our house in Palm Desert we sought out some snow in the nearby mountains that first winter. We settled in and made a little life for ourselves for that span of time. Jack was always with us on the weekends. He took that picture of me.

I made friends with my co-workers and sometimes we’d go out after a shift just to chill and hang out. Darryl, Jack and I did a lot of things together. Here we rode the aerial tram in Palm Springs at the top of the San Jacinto Mountains.

Darryl’s ex-wife took this picture. We were all at Chucky Cheese’s celebrating Jack’s seventh birthday.

Jack and I bonded, he’s a great kid. I haven’t seen him since June 3rd 2008. I hear he’s much bigger now, taller than me.

My family and I still got together periodically for group portraits. These were taken at a park in Yreka.

In 2010 my little sister gave birth to this beautiful little girl on the right. The tiny premature baby that I witnessed come into this world now has a baby of her own. She’s a mature, responsible, dedicated mother. She’s also engaged to a wonderful man and his daughter, this gorgeous girl on the left is my niece’s new big sister.

I’ve met these girls only through a thick pane of glass. They get along like they have always known each other. I won’t be at my sister’s wedding when she ties the knot next year. And I won’t be at, I won’t be her wedding photographer like we had always talked about.

The same is true for my brother Carl. The boy I grew up with became a family man. He and his wife married in 2010. I wasn’t there to celebrate with them and I wasn’t there to take their pictures and I have no one to blame but myself. A few weeks before trial they welcomed this precious little baby into the world. I haven’t met her yet.

Until a few weeks ago I had huge hopes of becoming a part of these girls lives someday. My nieces are the closest I’ll ever come to motherhood because I’m not going to have children of my own. I’m not going to become a mother. Because of my own terrible choices I’ve had to lay that dream to rest.

You’ve heard before that I’m an artist. As it now stands I’ll never create another oil painting but these are some of my drawings.

I’m pretty good with hands and nature but I’m best with portraits. There’s Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley, Elizabeth Taylor. This picture is a little distorted. This is my niece where she was a bit younger, playing the piano. Well, attempting to play the piano.

My family and I have a lot of memories, especially ones like this at Christmas. We won’t be creating any more of these kinds of memories together. This is how I used to spend the holidays with my family.

It was Carl’s idea to hold my portrait in this Christmas family photo taken a few years ago. My parents were there, my siblings were there, my brother’s wife was there. From now on this is how my family is going to spend the holidays with me.

Following my arrest I wanted so much to avoid trial. Not necessarily the outcome, although that’s naturally not something I was looking forward to, but trial. All of the graphic, mortifying, horrific details paraded out into a public arena. Instead I was hoping to go quietly into the night, whether off to prison or the next life. But with the amount of attention my case received early on I felt, in my ignorance, that it was necessary to speak out.

I got on TV and I lied. I lied aobut what I did and I lied about the nature of my relationship with Travis. It’s never been my intention to malign his name or character. In fact it was a goal of mine to preserve his reputation.

I didn’t want to drag out Travis’ skeletons or mine or explain my experiences with them. I didn’t want to unveil all of those ugly text messages and emails and that awful tape. All these things which now stand as public and permanent testimony to the darker aspects of our relationship. To 18 strangers, in front of Travis’ family, in front of my family, in front of what feels like the whole world.

It’s never been my intention to throw mud on Travis’ name. When I took the stand I was obligated to answer the questions posed to me and if you’ll remember many times I was quick to defend him in the same breath. I loved Travis and I looked up to him. At one point he was the world to me.

This is the worst mistake of my life. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. It’s the worst thing I ever could have seen myself doing, in fact I couldn’t see myself doing it. Before that day I wouldn’t even want to harm a spider. I’d gather them up in cups and put them outside.

To this day I can hardly believe I was capable of such violence, but I know that I was and for that I will be sorry for the rest of my life. Probably longer. I was horrified by what I had done and I’m horrified still.

In many ways my family has also suffered a great loss. Their pain is fresh because they only learned about it two weeks ago, the moment the verdict was read. The moment their hopes of ever welcoming me home someday were dashed.

My Dad who is here today lives in California awaiting anxiously in front of the TV. My Mom came to visit me after court that dark day. She had spoken to my Dad on the phone on the way over and she told me that in 34 years that they had been together she’s never heard him cry the way he did that day. I’ve cause that pain. I’ve caused them to hurt that way. And I will concede that with Travis’ family theirs is a much greater loss and I can never make up for it.

It is my hope that with the verdict you have rendered thus far that they will finally gain a sense of closure. Stephen said he doesn’t want to look at his brother’s murderer anymore. If I get life he won’t have to.

I’ve made many public statements that I would prefer the death penatly to life in prison. Each time I said that, though I meant it, I lacked perspective. Until very recently I could not have imagined standing before you all and asking you to give me life.

To me life in prison was the most unappealing outcome I could possibly think of. I thought I’d rather die, but as I stand here now I can’t in good conscience ask you to sentence me to death because of them (points to her family).

Asking for death is tantamount to suicide. Either way I’m going to spend the rest of my life in prison. It will either be shortened, or not.

If it is shortened, the people who will hurt the most are my family. I’m asking you please, please don’t do that to them. I’ve already hurt them so badly along with so many other people.

I want everyone’s healing to begin and I want everyone’s pain to stop.

Thank you.

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Filed Under: jodi arias, News Tagged With: Arizona, Breaking News, Court, Court News, Dr. Cheryl L. Karp, Esteban Flores, Flores, Horn, Jennifer Willmott, Jodi, Jodi Arias, Jodi Arias Update, Juan Martinez, Judge Sherry Stephens, Judge Stephens, Judge Stevens, Juror, Juror 17, Juror 9, Kevin Freedman, Kurt Nurmi, Maricopa County, News Archive, Nurmi, Sherry Stephens, social media, Stephen Alexander, Tagged as Jodi Arias, Tanisha, Tanisha Sorenson, the murder of Travis Alexander, Travis Alexander, Yreka Police Department

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. PlusOneForLuck says

    November 1, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    Thanks for the reminder TT. I remember thinking the first time how long she prattled on and how insulting it must have been to the Alexander family. Reading it back it’s soooo much worse than I remember. I’m 100% against the death penalty but I know there is a special place in Hell for her.

    Incidentally, if anyone wants to check out Croaker Queen’s newer trials She no longer uses the 123 after her name for her newest you tube channel. Jodi’s stuff is still under the one with 123 though. She posts every trial available. I’m currently finishing the Michael Dunn trial now. As TT said she is amazing. (I hope this doesnt break the rules TT — I thought since you mentioned her I could follow up. I always try to be respectful of the rules

    Reply
    • PlusOneForLuck says

      November 1, 2014 at 7:53 pm

      Oh and I had forgotten about that fucking tee shirt!!! So disgusting!! There were a lot of parts that made me angry. But that was the worst…

      Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      November 1, 2014 at 8:11 pm

      ​No, it’s fine. I’m friends with croakerqueen. I’ll get her to update me on her latest endeavors. 🙂

      On Sat, Nov 1, 2014 at 7:45 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
  2. puravidacostarica2 says

    November 1, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Whenever I read her sentence “I never meant to cause them so much pain”, I hear it into head as “I never meant to cause THEM so much pain.”

    Reply
    • puravidacostarica2 says

      November 1, 2014 at 8:40 pm

      *in my head*

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        November 1, 2014 at 9:40 pm

        I laugh when she does the locks of love part. She still has body parts she thinks can help her get ahead. ​

        On Sat, Nov 1, 2014 at 8:40 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

        Reply
      • Micheal says

        November 2, 2014 at 12:36 am

        My mother would return her cancer wig if she found out it came from Jodi. I’m sure that Locks of Love don’t appreciate the new name association.

        Reply
      • vonalsburg says

        November 3, 2014 at 10:26 am

        Who would want to wear Jodi Arias’ hair?

        Reply
        • Sandra says

          November 3, 2014 at 10:58 am

          Who would know it’s Jodi’s hair that a recipient is getting? Wouldn’t there be some anonymity/privacy procedures in place?

          That would explain her new, shorter Willmot-esque hair style.

          Reply
  3. Jen says

    November 1, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    Wow. I don’t get why people do NOT walk away when a relationship is troubled. She could have saved herself, him and their Families all of this pain and suffering. This should be a lesson to all. Don’t engage in crazy behavior and you will be fine. So sad for everyone. She’s delusional and I think psychotic. A Psycho feels no remorse hurt when their caught and punished. Its him/her or the Ninjas fault and when their cornered with Forensic proof and the gig is up, then and only then, do they admit the truth. She’s still slinging mud on him. He did awful things with her and to her. Who knows what made her snap? I don’t think he deserved to die. But, why oh why do people engage with deranged people and then wonder why when horrific things happen. She was totally obsessed. If I were a Cancer patient I wouldn’t want to be wearing a Murderers hair on my head. Talk about insanity….!

    Reply
  4. Sandra says

    November 1, 2014 at 10:12 pm

    Allocution may be the legal term for it, but I can think of a few, more accurate, words to describe it.

    Reply
  5. Kiki says

    November 1, 2014 at 10:14 pm

    She is full of herself , my goodness she thinks she is the answer to the entire prison population ( who the hell wants to read a book with her ) or learn sign language ?!? What an evil narcissistic deluded sadistic sociopath ! She will never get it. It’s all about her ( me, me, me ) I cringed at “in this photo I’m coming out of a red headed stage ” excerpt of her allocution. Like come on who F- N cares ! Like she’s saying look at me, & all her grandiosity has me just vexed ! She killed that beautiful man Travis may you rest in peace. I’m Canadian and I approve of the death penalty for this bitch.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      November 1, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      As someone who is a Nurmi supporter, it’s weird watching him when this is going you. You know the dynamic is that they hate he other. He is legally obligated to advise her. You know he told her this was a VERY bad idea. You know she told him to fuck himself. And know he has to sit there and look professional while absolutely dying (probably laughing) on the inside, thinking, and for this you will probably die. Hope it was worth it. ​

      On Sat, Nov 1, 2014 at 10:14 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • Sandra says

        November 1, 2014 at 10:46 pm

        I think she’s batting her doe eyes at Nurmi, now that he’s lost some weight and grown some hair. She is convincing herself that her seductive ways will work on Nurmi, like all the guys in her past. Do you think she wants him to think she now finds him attractive? No wonder he can’t get away from her fast enough…

        Reply
      • Angel(?) says

        November 1, 2014 at 11:17 pm

        OMG Sandra – I just had a vision of Jodi sitting in her little jail cell writing love letters to Nurmi! Gives me the willies. For Nurmi’s sake I hope Jodi decides the blame him for her conviction. :))

        Reply
  6. Sandra says

    November 1, 2014 at 11:29 pm

    So when he rejected her advances, how dare he, she tried to have him fired. But things seem to be very cozy at the defense table, nonetheless. Maybe she’s still convinced she can work her wiles…

    Reply
  7. Psylocke says

    November 2, 2014 at 12:45 am

    I just can’t stop thinking — this VERY second, someone somewhere, completely unsuspecting, is wearing Jodi fucking Arias’ HAIR.

    What was with the photo show? Kind of loses the sentimental value when YOU’RE the murderer and no one in the room knows the people in the pictures.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      November 2, 2014 at 1:33 am

      Am I the one thinking Amber Marchese probably got that wig?​

      On Sun, Nov 2, 2014 at 12:45 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • Psylocke says

        November 2, 2014 at 1:11 am

        LOL! You know Jim special ordered it for their Jodi role play sessions and she just decided to keep it on full time – he probably has the same level of reverence for Jodi and the attention she’s garnered that he has for Napoleon and Hitler.

        Reply
    • Epiphanie says

      November 3, 2014 at 1:16 am

      She’s trying to humanise herself before the jury.

      Reply
  8. Kiki says

    November 2, 2014 at 1:26 am

    Tamara oh my heavens Amber got jodis hair because of the cancer.
    Good thing she had it to cover up her tits in that tacky horse barn 5 year
    Cancer free topless photo shoot .

    Reply
  9. Twilly says

    November 2, 2014 at 1:39 am

    God, she is despicable

    Reply
  10. fivecatsownme says

    November 2, 2014 at 10:50 am

    I noticed Teresa (it’s not like I killed somebody) and Jodi (ninjas) have absolutely no idea what they did was wrong. Keep me alive/keep me out of jail for my family’s sake. They are both sociopaths.

    Reply
  11. Miroir says

    November 2, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    I dont live in the US, or have really followed this case, but I find the whole thing quite strange. Where I live there has never been any legal case on tv like this, except massmurderer Breivik, and I find it bizarre, like from a scene from Hunger Games. A woman pleading for her life, and it’s serious tv but also entertainment… Where I live death penalty was removed 100 years ago, last person to be executed was killed in a guillotine, it seems like a punishment from another era.

    Who would benefit from her death? The victims family will gain nothing. Just an endless cycle of misery and death. Life in prison is punishment enough.

    Reply
    • vonalsburg says

      November 3, 2014 at 10:57 am

      I understand how you feel however if Arias is sentenced to death, (which I don’t believe she will, it would serve her right if is), in all probability the sentence would never be carried out because it would take years for all of the many appeals she will file to go through. Most people want her to go to death row so she WON’T be able to start a (book) club or a (recycling) program…lol…prison is NOT county jail…she has no idea what she’s in for when she gets to prison…if she is on death row she will sit in a cell 23 hours a day BY HERSELF! It is my belief that if this were the case after a few years Arias will be talking to the walls for attention…that would be justice.

      Reply
  12. Jacque says

    November 2, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    The way she talked about all the things she could do in prison, it sounded like she was running for prison prom queen.

    Reply
  13. vonalsburg says

    November 3, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Arias was like this before she met Travis…her behavior has been in development years ago…I think 1 of her ex-boyfriends moved to Hawaii to get away from her…she is a narcissistic, psychotic, sociopath and because of her psychosis, it’s always about her and to (her) it always will…the things she can do in prison, book clubs, re-cycling , her hair, etc. She acts the way she believes people think she should be acting because she is a sociopath, a chameleon…she will NEVER get it!…I’ll bet a lot of her fellow inmates have told her she’s crazy for wanting to be sent to death row just to sit alone for eternity in a little cell when she can be in population running her mouth about herself…of course NOW she wants life…she’s such a sick mess.

    Reply
    • Dyann Jaxon says

      February 28, 2015 at 10:38 am

      Vonalsburg, correct! And she tears up for sympathy on cue, but never never sheds a real tear.

      Reply
  14. BravoCueen says

    November 5, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    If ever, EVER, there was a case for the death penalty it is here. I’m generally afraid of the death penalty only because of the innocent who have been/will be executed, but this is a no brainer for me. She should fry.

    Reply

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