OMG I was bingewatching Bad Judge and time got away from me. Suddenly, I am 9 minutes late into RHONJ and it is NOT taping! I tuned in just in time to hear Amber telling Dina about “Alana” the hooker side of her? WTF? I feel like I missed so much in nine minutes! Did I miss Amber giving head to a bottle? Allegedly?
On to discussing divorce. And marriage. Dina knew her husband since she was 11 and he was 18. Is it me or is that kind of creepy? But Teresa chimes in and says she has know Joe since she was born. They used to play together as kids and Joe was always in trouble and her mother warned her to stay away from him. Oddly, today? or was it yesterday was Tre and Joe’s 15th wedding anniversary. I’m assuming the ladies are in Atlantic city. When this was being filmed some sent me some information about Teresa winning $1,000 while she was there. I was a bit skeptical because the name was spelled wrong. Maybe we will find out.
LOL at Andy saying while the ladies were in Atlantic City, Joe stayed home with three queens, and joker, Milania. I suppose we are about to get a peek at Joe being a single dad. Milania seems like quit the little cooker (not a hooker).
Back in Atlantic City the twins took forever to get ready. So the rest of the girls left them. Somehow, the twins are mad at everyone else for leaving them. Mostly Amber. Amber is having a meltdown. TereSSA insults slots players everywhere. I love slots. The interactive ones are not boring. Then again, I like Pai Gow tables, so TereSSa is probably right. Oh it was TereSSA that won the $1,000. How do you win a grand on a blackjack hand? She must have been playing big money. How can she afford that?
Oh no. Burlesque lessons? I don’t want to see this. Amber continues to remind us she is a whore in the bedroom. I could do without the visuals. Teresssa wants us to know that Melissa was a stripper. Why are the twins such bitches on this trip? I feel like we missed a LOT. OMG Amber tits are hanging out all the way complete with blurry boxes. This is so gross. And she shoot Dina the bird. That Amber such a fine upstanding mother and religious woman of the lentil season. Why does Bravo not realize that the demo for this show is old women and we have no interest in seeing other old women dance provocatively? Amber wins the whore off competition.
The girls go to their suite for macaroons and champs. TereSSA is particularly bitchy. She says Dina was an ice princess. It’s just more catty bitching. Can’t we have more scenes of Kathy and Jac eating lettuce? Theressssa claims her tits cost $60K. What a bad investment that was. Can she get a refund? I’ve never thought Teresa was really pretty, but she is very pretty in Atlantic City.
Amber teaches an early morning bootcamp. Because who doesn’t want to do that after a night of drinking like fish?
We are treated to unseen footage of Amber, Douchnozzle, Bobby and Nicole when they were all friends. Apparently, Bobby calls everything he likes sexy. How did we live without seeing this scene? Amber talks like a slut all the time. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but she seems to want us all to think she is a mother and good Catholic.
Crap. My DVR is all fucked up with Madam Secretary and the Good Wife and Anthony Bourdain, Parts Unknown is a mess. And I can’t care this much about RHONJ anymore. I’ll recap WWHL later. If it records. Sorry. I am having a huge hormonal issue today. I’m a mess. Periomenopause sucks DONKEY DICK.