I’m over this show. I’m over the post I am supposed to be working on. I am over messages in my inbox about when I am going to recap, or write about the show. I’m over it. Below Deck has gone from one of my favorite shows to recap to one of my least favorites. I think what I will do for this post is just note every negative comment about the guests. Because unlike every other Bravo show, the guests on this one PAY A LOT OF MONEY to be on the show, and more importantly to be treated well by the crew.
We begin with the morning after Kelley’s birthday bash. Everyone is dragging ass. Captain Lee has to go down and wake everyone up.
Kate takes the first strike at the guests mocking one of them for wearing a sideways cap and a hoodie. Claims he is an “aspiring” musician. Ben hops right on the condescension train by mocking their requests for Cristal and caviar. And we are off to the humiliate the guests races.
Kate and Kat seem to have plenty of vitriol left over for Amy. It’s good to see Amy calling them out on it.
Time for the lucky guests to arrive. Then name calling by the crew begins when the guest first come into view on the dock. The guests are from Jersey. They look like Snooki. I should point out that Snooki can buy and see any one of these fools ten times over. Resting bitch face is in full effect.
Before the ship even sails, the guests have the audacity to inquire about the caviar. Kat seems not to be familiar with the word sturgeon. How do these folks from Jersey know more about caviar that Kat? Ben begins the lies to the guests. Just tell them it is Beluga. It’s implied that they won’t know the difference. Then we get a talking head from Kat mocking the guests for eating all the caviar and doing so incorrectly. Or so says the chick who has never heard of Beluga or sturgeon.
The deck crew can’t be bothered to put the slide up until Captain Lee forces them to. Kelley comes up with a BS story about his arm being injured on the job instead of a drunken accident. Captain Lee takes over working the deck and sends Kelley away. Kelley wants to cry and quit.
Ben whines because the primary’s wife, AKA the birthday girl, doesn’t want lamb and scallops for dinner. He goes into a whole tirade about how classless the guests are for wearing a wife beater on board.
Kate bitches about the guests eating a lot. Some people actually eat food, Kate.
The 40 minute scene is Kat and Kate unpacking the guests suitcases and mocking their underwear. How will these two ever work in the industry again? How is it possible?
Kate and Kat complain to each other about the guest not being up to their standards. Kate tries to imply she’s used to Leonardo DiCaprio. Girl, please. More Snooki comments and the rest are “escorts.” Or so says the girl who had a Sugar Momma before becoming a yacht maid.
Kate and Kat decide to stay behind and have a scallop dinner while Amy does the entire birthday party.
During the tip meeting Captain Lee addresses the crew’s asshole behavior. They left the biggest tip of the season, 20K. The Captain says they did not earn it.
This next charter will have the most challenging guests so far. From the previews I’ve seen, he is kind of a douchebag and will treat the crew like his personal slaves. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch. I think the word I am looking for is Karma.
Actually, I’m forty minutes in and the guests have been nothing but polite and cordial. Go figure. In fact they seem to be loving Amy, oh look, the primary gives her a giant bottle (looked bigger than a magnum to me, a Balthazar maybe?) of fancy champagne as a tip. Meanwhile, pretty much everyone else has called him a douchebag. Then we see his first douchebaggery thing. He tells Captain Lee he brought a 22K tip, but there were a few issues so he has decided to pocket some of the tip and leave 17K. He was disappointed in the Internet access (not sure why that is the crew’s fault) And Ben did not cater to the 19-year-old girlfriends limited palate. They loved Amy. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. He did make a condescending remark to the crew about looking into trading some stocks to up their income. Ben was livid they had the nerve to be condescending. I don’t think they realize they are getting a taste of their own medicine. It’s kind of funny. He was kind to Amy to was kind to him, and condescending to the crew that acts like judgmental douchebags. Go figure. is super rude to
Amy shares her champagne with everyone. Kate super rude to Amy at dinner.
Next week is the finale. Frankly, it can’t come quickly enough. RIP Below Deck. I hardly recognize you anymore.