I’ve been wanting to watch this but had to wait so I had time to recap. I’m still a bit under the weather. So I’m just going to do a quickie. I’m a bit sleep deprived and cranky so don’t expect much.
Jackie talks about her psychic abilities. And we get a montage of the stupid Shine, Shine, Shine crap. It’s fucking annoying.
Oh God. Now it is Lydia’s turn with her Wows and illiterate comments and butchering of the English language. Lydia is trying to explain her stupidity. The dumb host keeps saying how cute her nonsensical blatherings are.
We’re back and the little troglodyte is on the couch next to his psychic wife. I could care less what he is saying. They play a montage of Jackie talking about how much everything costs.
Lydia’s dog came on the set. WordPress magically shut down. I took this as a sign I could lie down, but decided to power through. We’re almost halfway through and nothing has happened. 
Janet’s montage was about how dumb Lydia is. Another montage about everyone trash talking Gina. Really, you guys could not have told me that nothing happens on this reunion? There is nothing to recap. It’s just replays of the same old arguments.
Oh, it’s #cuntgate, Again. Didn’t we do this in part one of the reunion? Gina still doesn’t own saying the word. I find that very annoying. Gins calls Andrea a miserable excuse for a human being.
Janet doesn’t understand the expression, “gilding the lily.” Janet tries to explain how it came to pass that she threw Gina under the bus to the other ladies. Chyka tries to get Gina to take ownership of #cuntgate Ut Oh! Roll the damning tape of Gina calling Lydia a cunt in the bathroom multiple times. Gina is trying to split insignificant ass hairs over the situation saying that she didn’t call anyone a cunt to their face. For some reason Jackie has had all she can take. She gets up and lopes of the stage in slow motion. Jackie says she is physically ill because Gina kept on denying she called Lydia a cunt. She takes to her dressing room. Meanwhile, Andrea and Lydia keep going after Gina up until Gina looks at them both and very calmly says, “Would you like to eat my first-born?” Which was odd and kind of scary.
Jackie owns up for the millionth time for calling Gina a cunt. She says she called her one, because she is one. Why can’t Gina do the same? Jackie keeps needling Gina about not being married. Jackie calls out Gina for he Girls Night In charity event. She says Gina only donated $100 to the charity. Jackie is winning the war between Jackie and Gina.
Chyka says that she is embarrassed to even be on the stage with all this bullshit. The host asks if everyone thinks they were accurately portrayed. They all do. He asks about regrets Jackie and Gina regret calling people cunts. Lydia gives Gina a book called The Vagina. And everyone laughs and laughs.
The End.
I was disgusted by the host loving Lydia! #suckup. When Jackie said “you are a c-nt!” I was happy. I got a lot more respect for Jackie after this finale but that was about all I got from this episode. Thanks for recapping TT! Hope you feel better soon.
The host was HORRENDOUS and gave me a super-sleazy-douchebag vibe – the way he brown nosed Lydia’s idiocy was despicable!!!
Oh man just watched the first part of the reunion…Bruce is the most adorable. Can I have him?
I can’t help but think this is what you get when your country was founded as a penal colony. The accents just seem so low rent.
Jackie walking off the set when she wasn’t even part of the fight was a typical housewife reunion moment. It felt so transparent and staged.
My husband said she just needed to charge her phone lol (it was prominently displayed plugged in during the scene)
Ah that sounds believable to me.
On Thu, Oct 16, 2014 at 9:16 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Glad someone else saw that too! It seemed odd.
Thank you. I just thought I missed the point of her walkoff. I literally passed out after trying to recap and just woke up.
On Thu, Oct 16, 2014 at 7:54 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Tamara just so you know, your response just led to my husband saying “Tamara agrees with me, now how about THAT?” Haha
PS. I (now not-so-) secretly get really excited when you respond to my posts!! You’re such an attentive blogger and I speak for the whole RHOMelb fan club when I say THANK you for recapping – We needed closure and a ‘quickie’ will do just fine for the finish 🙂
PPS. Michael you’re still the official rep don’t worry 🙂
@Alien the more the merrier.
I think that looking back on this season it did suffer from ‘season one anxiety’ as I like to call it. Some of the wives clearly had no idea how they would be percieved (Andrea and Lydia mostly) and they didn’t understand the ‘game’ for lack of a better word.
I’m a fan of Gina, but come on. When you’re wrong, just fess up. Sheesh. All that denial looks stupid
I doubt she thought the footage would mysteriously show up at the reunion after so long of denials. However, hopefully she learns a lesson from this and next season is just honest. Most of the people who watch trashy shows like this use that word regularly so who cares.
“…next season is just honest….” Oh you cute, naïve little Aussie boy.
On Thu, Oct 16, 2014 at 8:02 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Chyka believes this season is a lot more interesting and has ‘multiple storylines’. That tickled me. She didn’t get the memo that ‘storylines’ is an no no word.
That’s one of the biggest things I don’t get about these shows. When the women lie about things they have said ON CAMERA. Maybe they film so much they forget if the cameras caught certain things? Nothing makes me immediately hate a housewife more than a talking head of her saying “I swear on my kids I never said that” followed by a flashback of them saying that exact thing. Tamara is the worst with this, and you’d think after being on the show this long, she would have learned.
It’s clear from the bathroom scene that Gina has quite the potty mouth on her. The whole “I never use that word.” Is what I found infuriating. Stop hiding your hand, Gina, just admit you use the word, liberally and with glee! Taking ownership is half the fun!
On Fri, Oct 17, 2014 at 8:19 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Ugh exactly! I can understand forgetting what exact wording you used and denying it when attacked (hmm..did I call her a bitch or a cunt?) but acting mortified at the word cunt, clutching your pearls all “Well, I never!” when it’s a possibility you did say that because it’s part of your vocabulary is so obnoxious.
I enjoy Gina so I really wish she just owned calling Lydia and Andrea cunts. They did act like it so why not? The producers did kind of set her up though with the footage being shown so long after she denied it. Still the fans didn’t care. At that point most Aussies just were tired of the Gina bashing. It’s not like she is as horrible as Tamra from the OC is.
They really need a hard hitting host (not Alex Perry), who isn’t afraid to call the ladies on their shit. I was thinking next season why not Kyle Sandilands? He can be very provocative and wont be kissing their asses. He has been a judge on reality shows in Australia before so he is capable. Or why not me? I’d spice it up ;). I’m cute to boot.
KYLE SANDILANDS!!! Oh my goodness, no – I generally whole-heartedly agree with your comments, but OH HONEY NO. I get that he would be provocative, but let’s not give that horrid, horrid man any more air time than he already has, he needs to slink away into the night. You, I would watch 😉
Oh shucks ;). Andy really is a shitty reunion host lately so I was thinking of someone in the same league. Alex Perry is so boring and brown noses half of the ladies which is annoying. Plus Kyle being a dick to the ladies could get the show more mainstream attention in Australia.
Kyle is a major douchebag though. I’d love to see how the Americans react to him. If they thought Gina was ‘out there’ they have seen nothing yet.
Then again…I should just do it. Need to hit the gym hard though to prepare :(.
The ladies are all filming their holiday trip in Manila, Phillipines at the moment. About 9 weeks in to filming so next season will be a lot more like the American versions I guess. The two new ladies look like they dress and have style as ridiculous as Gina.
Ooooooohh that will be interesting to see more “exotic lands.” The housewives rarely go anywhere actually interesting or remotely far away – perhaps Bali was an exception of sorts. (Though I realize the Philippines aren’t as far from Australia as I’d like to think)
Just out of curiousity, what’s the travel time like from Melbourne to Manila? Is that a common Aussie tourist spot?
On Thu, Oct 16, 2014 at 8:13 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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It’s eight hours. In my circle it’s more of a business hotspot, a lot of Australian companies have offices and satellite offices there. My partner and his clients work there a bit. It probably does have great shopping but that’s about all I know. Bali is closer and cheaper.
Drats! I was hoping that we wouldn’t have to watch the helmet hair, overly spray tanned Gina. She drives crazy with her over done makeup (in the daytime shots it comes across as “Tart” or “Hooker” (see, I can use Aussie words and American terms). I know it’s my personal opinion, but really, can’t she see how clownish she looks? Hopefully she’ll have less screen time in the next season.
Nope. If anything it’s extended. Meet the Vanderpump of Australia….Gina.
I had such hopes for this series to be a better version of American housewives shows. Sadly, it was similar. Someone dumb, a shit stirrer, at least one just too in love with them self and their brand and too much botox and fillers. We must have a gang up and an underdog and lying. Who would want friends if this was “reality”.
We certainly do pull off a better reunion here. Thanks, Andy. The best part of the show was some of the ladies dresses, excluding Lydia and Andrea, almost plain Janes. Gina dresses over the top fabulous and Chyka is most believable as a classy real person.
I really want to be besties with Chyka. She appears to be down to earth and yet still really fun.
She reminds me of Caroline Manzo circa early seasons of RHNJ! I hope she stays like this and doesn’t let all the drama suck her in and make her appear angry and bitter like Caroline did.
I’d prefer you sidle up to Bruce and provide us some um, feedback.
On Thu, Oct 16, 2014 at 10:08 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Chyka would be my ‘in’ so to speak. 😉
Bruce is a cutie.
The reuinion was weird, host was awful, production was mean to Gina, Gina put her foot in her mouth with all the lying.
Can’t wait for next season though. I need Gina to bring more glitter into my life.
And more golden glow? 😉
I’ve seen some of the photos from next season and lets just say that Gina and Chyka look great as usual and the two new ladies make some ‘questionable’ choices with hair and wardrobe.
Chykar and Ginar sittin’ in ar’ tree K-R-S-S-I-N-G
I like their relationship – ill never get tired of of hearing them say each others names.
I’m really trying to like Gina but she’s a compulsive liar, she really can’t help herself. I would think a normal person would see their obvious lies rewatching themselves and then make conscious efforts not to keep doing it. Maybe Andrea was actually right about something when she said Gina brings her work persona home with her – she lies all day in her line of work and then can’t stop.
Like really you’re going to deny saying moron AS WE SEE YOU SAY IT IN PERSON? Then actually say it AGAIN two minutes later?
Yes that is a flaw of hers. However in all other regards she is enjoyable to watch. Andrea on the other hand was either boring or annoying. Atleast Andrea now has plenty of time to work… I mean raise her children…. shop?
The whole ‘Jackie storming off’ of the set was ridiculous. I guess she was she was able to work out that no one was paying enough attention to her so she made a scene. Did you guys see Janet’s face when her clips were being shown. It was like she was totally and suprized and shocked that they had this on film. Did she not know someone was filming a show and she was on it? Lydia, oh Lydia. Just go away. and take your little dog with you. Chyka: Don’t ever change dahlink! Gina: Don’t stop bein yourself. Very entertaining!
Jackie leaving the set was too ‘housewives 101’ for me. The reunion overall was a let down. I wish they just dicussed the production issues and the anonymous blog post about Gina more so. Also Andrea should have been grilled better over her non parenting book, similar to how Andy seems incredulous to how Tre can write her own cookbooks.
“and a ‘quickie’ will do just fine”
How many times have I heard that! ( Ba-dum-bum!)
Not going to lie, just had to google “troglodyte.” Thanks for the expanded vocabulary, TT!
TT – “split insignificant ass hairs” = plausible deniability 🙂
As a RH veteran viewer, I know that the housewives in the USofA versions are all obsessed with storylines. Crappy storyline and you’re dropped. In the Melbourne version, it all started out with Gina asking for a reading and then asking whether her man was cheating on her. Jackie didn’t even really answer her, just asked what did Gina think. And it was war from then on. I think if this were NY, Atlanta, BH, Orange County, they would ALL get dumped. Gina is fascinating because of her insane makeup and outfits (and I want to hit her every time she says the word “demon”) but that’s all, folks. Ok. I am desperate or I would not be watching.
This episode was my first and last episode of the areal Housewives of Melbourne. What a waste of oxygen!
The show was better than the reunion by ten million miles. Give it another chance if season two comes to bravo!
I feel that some Americans have a short memory and don’t remember some of the first seasons of NY, OC, NJ etc. They had pacing issues and some slow moments too. It’s just at this point Bravo knows how to ‘poke the bear’ for ratings, and the women ‘bring it’ for fear of losing their job. So it’s almost an unfair comparison between little old RHofMelb and say RHofBH where they had two sisters drunkenly fighting in a limo.