UPDATE: Jaysus, Despite the breaking news from some other site after the interview aired… there reason that no one was drinking and “there was no drinking word” was because it was taped interview on a serious topic that was filmed during the DAYTIME and Tre and possibly Joe were medicated for stress. There was no alcohol ban at the reunion. But is was also filmed early in THE DAYTIME. And their bail would not be revoked if OTHER PEOPLE were violent. What the fuck is wrong with that site? How do I have sources and they have NOTHING? There was beer for football for the men whose call time was 1PM. SMH. Also I’m hearing Tre had a later call time so the ladies could talk about the sentencing without her there. Not my usual source, but it does make sense. This way there are less softball questions when Tre is actually on camera.
It’s time for the first interview of Teresa and Joe Giudice since they were sentenced last Thursday. Teresa is facing 15 months in federal prison and Joe will do 41 (one for each count of fraud!) when she gets out. Will Andy asked why they lied about their assets on the bankruptcy filings? I doubt it. Will he ask about the strange question Joe Giudice asked production when he first came on the show? I doubt it.
I love how Andy starts off camera by saying “after months of proclaiming their innocence” hmmm maybe he will go hard on them. Then a clip of Teresa saying “I’ll make this right, whatever right means.” That seemed to be a bit of a frankenbite. Interesting the dirty editing begins…
Teresa says she feels “numb and it is like surreal.” Teresa knows what surreal means? Boy those are some sparkly diamond studs in her ears. Andy reads out all of their charges that the pled guilty to. Andy asks their reaction to the sentences. Joe says it was devastating. Teresa says, “yeah, I’m still numb.” Joe says he feels like he got hit in the back of the neck with a bat. Andy asked Joe if he was surprised his sentence was on the high end? Joe says he thinks it was a little high, he didn’t think he would get that much.
Teresa looks horrible. She can barely form words. She seems heavily medicated. Andy says there was a lot of speculation that she would not serve at all. Teresa says she was so nervous yesterday. She was shaking, her nerves were pulling (makes sweeping motions toward her arms) at one point she could not open or close her hands. She really can’t talk. She says she had sleepless nights. She was “shock.” I was very unexpected. I don’t even know what to say.
Andy asked Teresa if she has been in denial. Teresa says she needs to read things before she signs them. She can’t trust people to tell her what things says. She needs to full read things. You know those things she testified to in bankruptcy court on the stand. Or she needs to find a contract lawyer that can help her. You know like the one that negotiated this interview into her Season 6 contract. Or the ones she used for her book deals. Or the ones she used for her Fabellini brand. Or the Miliana Hair Care stuff. She needs one of them to help her when she goes to the bank and says she is a real estate agent who makes $15,000 a month. She should have checked with a lawyer first because she doesn’t know that is wrong. She wants to get better at contracts.
Andy asked her if she is in a depression, if she is getting help. She say she is worried about her kids who need their mom. It’s not the same with a father, a mom is a mom.
Andy asks her why she would take a plea that could send her to prison for 27 months. Teresa says she didn’t understand that part. I am pretty sure her lawyers explained the whole plea deal process to her and told her she was looking at MANY YEARS of federal prison and the plea deal was good for her and she would likely only do two years or less. Andy is incredulous. You didn’t understand it? Teresa smiled and closed her eyes during her whole answer. LYING! LYING LIAR WHO LIES! Andy says, did your lawyer not tell you what the plea deal meant? Teresa says “I didn’t fully understand it.” OH MAN. Still lying your ass off. When you uttered the word GUILTY YOUR HONOR did you know what those three words meant?
Andy asks, what did you think would happen after you pled guilty?” I dunno, I thought my lawyer would fight for me!” Um seriously? You just admitted to committing 41 federal offenses. What’s left? Teresa says she was giving the court whatever they wanted from her and answering all of their questions. WITH LIES! This is less than 24 hrs after a judge has said you lied AGAIN on your probation presentencing documents and you still insist you were honest and upfront with the court?
Andy says they both have legal teams and PR teams and people working for them, how the hell is it possible that you got to court and the judge was angry with you for LYING AGAIN on your probation forms? Teresa says ” you mean things that were missing?” Theresa said that is why she was shocked. Andy said so how did that conversation with your attorneys go? Teresa said, after the judge ruled she did not talk with her attorneys. She left court. It was done.
Andy asks Joe if when he pled guilty he thought Tre would get jail time he says no. Andy asks if that is why he pled guilty Joe says yes. Joe seems a bit torn up, wiping his eyes. He is still wearing his wedding ring. I wonder if he included it on his asset form?
Joe and Teresa say if they went to trial on 41 charges and lose on one count they could get ten years for one count so they pled. Actually, it is Teresa who is explaining all of this. She knows exactly what is going on. Joe is still maintaining he doesn’t even know how many counts he had against him. The housewife is always the mastermind. I’m just saying.
Joe said he was expecting to go, but he didn’t think Teresa would. He said he took all the blame. Joe is in a three piece suit that is two sizes too big. He’s lost a lot of weight over this. Joe says Teresa had no part in it. He’s lying to protect her. She had very specific charges on her alone.
Andy says that he wants to talk about what she knew and what she didn’t know. He wants to know if she was just signing things without knowing what was going on. Andy and everyone on planet Earth with a brain knows that is not true Teresa says, “Andy, this was a long time ago.” Andy asks if Joe knew what she was asking her to sign. “Joe says, just whatever the bank gave him for her to sign.” Andy says but you were taking out false loans! Joe says, “Okay whatever I was taking out false loans.” Andy says, “They were phony W-2 forms.” Joe says, “They handed me the forms whatever they were. She’s never came to closings. She’s never even been to closings.” God DAYUM these people are idiots. Who makes million dollar loans to such idiots?
And says why did you do it? Did you need the money that bad? Where you keeping up with the Jones’? Andy says there was a time when Tre was very materialistic and said things like she didn’t want to live in a used house, etc. Teresa says she regrets saying that. Teresa says she didn’t mean it that way, she would buy a used home. Andy actually is sort of going in here, I am impressed and this is taking me forever to recap because he is doing well!
OMG! TERESA JUST SAID SHE DOESN’T SPEND MONEY SHE DOES NOT HAVE! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE MINDSET OF THESE MORONS. She filed for a $13 million bankruptcy. WHAT PART OF YOU DON’T HAVE 13 million to spend do you not get? I am banging my head on the fucking wall. You “bought” to use the common vernacular a house that cost less than a million when you bought it and have less than $200k in equity? WTF? YOU BRAINLESS MORON. Can we give her more time for being too stupid to breathe?
Andy says she got a lot of flack for carrying a $3k purse on the show last week when she was hunting for used houses. Teresa actually did Andy a solid and say she doesn’t pay retail. In other words, ANDREW, that was a promotional consideration and out of all the things that are wrong with these two, that one is on YOU.
Joe asks Andy how much he thinks his suit costs. Andy says $600. Joe says “you get two suits, two shirts, two ties for $250. And it’s Italian and they tailor it. ” Andy says, “Very good.” LOL. I would have said where is the car with those in the trunk? Chinatown? Tre asked how much the suit Andy is wearing is. He says he doesn’t pay retail. Tre says and that is the thing, when you are on a TV show people send you things or give you discounts. Andy shoots back, “But I paid taxes on this suit.” Teresa says I’ve always paid my taxes. (She actually has, Joe doesn’t).
Andy asks Teresa to describe what happens when they got home from court. Tre says the whole family was there. Her mom was shocked and upset and Tre’s heart was breaking. Gia was crying. Gia told her it was going to be okay, not to worry she will help Dad with the girls. Gia said it would help her to be a better mom when she is a mom one day.
Tre says (and this seems like news to Joe) that she got a call from Gia’s guidance counselor who promises to counsel her once a week and make sure she is okay. Gia is worried about is her mom. Tre says she is an old school mom. She does everything with her daughters. She is very hands on. She is a real stay at home mom who cares for her four girls all day. (Okay she could be breaking me here) And now Joe is going to have to be her and do what she does and, well that should by interesting. (that last part was me).
Joe says it is going to be a lot of work. But they are his daughters and he has to do what he has to do. They are his daughters and he guesses he will HAVE TO BE THE HOUSEWIFE! Spin-off. Dude has no other job!
Andy asks if the younger girls know and Teresa says they haven’t talked to them yet. Andy points out that they are in school TODAY. Joe says that Milania asked him if he had something to say to her. He thinks they know. (duh!) Theresa looks like she did not want to be confronted with the obvious on national TV. Andy asks if she doesn’t think a third grader is going to hear from her friends that her parents are going to prison? Tre says no. OMG. Joe says Gabriella knows something too. Tre is either REALLY REALLY REALLY stupid or pretending to be when she says know, Gabriella gave me a kiss this morning. Um, really? Tre says Milania and Audriana give her a kiss every morning but Gabriella…. she is not that affectionate. Teresa still is clueless. Joe said even Milania asked why everyone was at the house because the last time was…. he trails off… Andy says “When your Dad passed.” Teresa is so doped up she doesn’t realize the girls know.
Teresa is not making sense about what she will eventually tell the girls. Tre and Joe are grateful for the staggered sentences. Andy asked if he is scared of prison. He says he is more scared for his wife (I love that he calls her that now, you know instead of cunt, it’s amazing how men know exactly how to behave when necessary) than he is for himself. OTOH Joe still thinks they are going to jail.
I’d like to figure out a way to kill everyone with an IQ less than 100. It’s the only way to move forward in my opinion. Sorry tards. Times are rough and you are fucking up the economy by being media whores. Bravo has decided to do an old-fashioned carnival show, but they forgot that the freaks don’t need to be paid much.
Andy asks Tre how she will do in prison. She says she will be fine. She will just slick her hair back and go on about her day. If she can afford Vaseline for whatever hair is hers. She did not say that last part.
Tre does have a wedding ring on. Earlier it looked like none.. did she put one on? She says she wants to see the kids. She says Joe says he will bring them twice a week. She says once a week is more reasonable. If she gets Danbury, and the judge seems to want her to keep her kids that an hour and a half each way. She did not say that, I did. There is no guarantee that she will get Danbury but the judge seems very liberal.
Andy asks if she is worried about losing her temper in prison. She says no. Andy brings up the infamous reunion push that he has clearly never gotten over. She says that is insane. She has grown since then.
NEXT TIME: Andy asks about the scripted comments regarding the show. Joe’s deportment. and other things…