We start this week with Jackie and Ben auditioning burlesque dancers for their beverage launch. There were nipple tassels. There were but tassels. Jackie and Ben disagreed on which girl to pick so they hired them all.
Gina is having an event and calls Janet to make sure she is coming . It’s a benefit for cancer. They seem to have reconciled and Janet is coming. Andrea and Lydia are out at lunch when Gina calls Lydia to see if she is coming Lydia declines with a flimsy excuse and asks if Andrea is invited. Gina says she doesn’t think Andrea would be interested. It’s Gina’s ten-year anniversary as a cancer survivor. Andrea and Lydia are pissed that Janet is going. They are calling her to try to talk he out if going. What a bunch a bitches. Janet says she doesn’t want to bash Gina anymore. The two bitches are strong arming her into cancelling. Janet holds steadfast and Lydia an Andrea trash Janet when they hang up. They rehash the whole apology crap.
Andrea does a cover shoot for the book that no one wants to publish. She spouts the same ridiculousness in her talking heads. She hopes the photographer can transform her into another person who is not a mom and an accountant. What now she is an accountant. Her looks include angry and dismissive. Those are her words not mine. Because, a book for working moms should always have an angry dismissive cover. She can’t be serious about this. Lydia crashes the cover shoot. They mock the other housewives in the shoot. Of course they do.
Jackie and Janet and Chyka arrive at Lydia’s event with great attitudes. The party is gorgeous and everything is pink, including Gina’s sequined dress. She tells her cancer story. It sort of explains her obsession with outward looks. It seems she used it as a way to make herself look and feel better. Gina wants to write a book to offer coping skills to those going through cancer. The guests get gift bags that include her new soap line.
Chyka and Gina meet so Chyka can check in with Gina and try to help her navigate the shark invested waters.
Ben is hand making masks for the liquor event. Do they not have Party City in Melbourne?
Andrea and Gina meet and Andrea asked for an apology. Gina said that she didn’t remember saying that or feeling that way but she apologizes that Andrea’s feeling were hurt. They are calmly rehashing the entire situation for the millionth time. Gina apologizes twice. Andrea has a written list of Gina’s transgressions. Gina continues to say that she doesn’t recall calling her a cunt. Andrea doesn’t accept any of the numerous apologies. Andrea calls Gina unhinged. Andrea says that she has everything. Andrea says she is happy.
Then Andrea says, ” I heard you have a soap line. Is that so you can wash your mouth out with it?” Gina shoots right back, “I don’t know, maybe it’s so you can wash Lydia’s vagina out with it.” Oh Gina, never change. Andrea starts applying makeup at the conversation. Gina says she expects an apology from Andrea for all the hideous things she has said. Andrea tries to flee but Gina makes it out first. Andrea says she will stay for some champagne. Gina suggests that when Andrea get home she have her husband check her medications. She says her testosterone is too high and everything else needs to come up. She tells Andrea her deck of cards is about to tumble. Game, set match goes to Gina and her heels.
Ben seems to be doing all of the work for the launch, from the masks to the flowers to overseeing the venue, while Jackie just shows up. Andrea and Lydia spend the ride there talking about Gina and how they never give her any thought because she is insignificant in their lives. Jackie seems to think that she and been have discovered alcohol.
Gina arrives and Lydia and Andrea already start being cunts. Surely Gina wasn’t the first person to call either of them cunts. Thankfully, Chyka arrives to provide some balance. The launch was beautiful and went very well.
The girls all get together and the bitching from Andrea begins. Janet apologizes for throwing Gina under the bus. Janet is trying to drag Jackie into it and point out what a pot stirrer Jackie has been all season. No one seems to be picking up on that. But hey, Jackie’s launch party is the perfect place to call her out. Next topic, Lydia’s vagina. Gina apologizes for the vagina washing joke. Janet owns up to starting all the issues, at least in a talking head.
Janet is still single and protests that she was never two-faced. Although visits to a cosmetic surgeon are still a regular occurrence.
Chyka’s business continues to take the world by storm with events in Buenos Aires, Capri and St. Tropez. She hopes to conquer Switzerland next.
Lydia finished her design course with distinctions. She’s hoping her first job will be with her husband Andrew. It looks to be a “wow” of a year.
With the help of the angels, Jackie and Ben won’t have to wait long for La Mascara to this the shelves. Unlike Gina who’s still waiting for her Grandmother’s messages.
Andrea still hopes to clear the air with Gina, even though her “Gina checklist” remains unchecked.
Gina is still waiting for her apologies. When the other women work out what they have to apologize for, they may contact her, but not by email.
That was an enjoyable season. I loved all the Melbourne scenes. It’s a beautiful city!