We start this week with Jackie and Ben auditioning burlesque dancers for their beverage launch. There were nipple tassels. There were but tassels. Jackie and Ben disagreed on which girl to pick so they hired them all.
Gina is having an event and calls Janet to make sure she is coming . It’s a benefit for cancer. They seem to have reconciled and Janet is coming. Andrea and Lydia are out at lunch when Gina calls Lydia to see if she is coming Lydia declines with a flimsy excuse and asks if Andrea is invited. Gina says she doesn’t think Andrea would be interested. It’s Gina’s ten-year anniversary as a cancer survivor. Andrea and Lydia are pissed that Janet is going. They are calling her to try to talk he out if going. What a bunch a bitches. Janet says she doesn’t want to bash Gina anymore. The two bitches are strong arming her into cancelling. Janet holds steadfast and Lydia an Andrea trash Janet when they hang up. They rehash the whole apology crap.
Andrea does a cover shoot for the book that no one wants to publish. She spouts the same ridiculousness in her talking heads. She hopes the photographer can transform her into another person who is not a mom and an accountant. What now she is an accountant. Her looks include angry and dismissive. Those are her words not mine. Because, a book for working moms should always have an angry dismissive cover. She can’t be serious about this. Lydia crashes the cover shoot. They mock the other housewives in the shoot. Of course they do. 
Jackie and Janet and Chyka arrive at Lydia’s event with great attitudes. The party is gorgeous and everything is pink, including Gina’s sequined dress. She tells her cancer story. It sort of explains her obsession with outward looks. It seems she used it as a way to make herself look and feel better. Gina wants to write a book to offer coping skills to those going through cancer. The guests get gift bags that include her new soap line.
Chyka and Gina meet so Chyka can check in with Gina and try to help her navigate the shark invested waters.
Ben is hand making masks for the liquor event. Do they not have Party City in Melbourne?
Andrea and Gina meet and Andrea asked for an apology. Gina said that she didn’t remember saying that or feeling that way but she apologizes that Andrea’s feeling were hurt. They are calmly rehashing the entire situation for the millionth time. Gina apologizes twice. Andrea has a written list of Gina’s transgressions. Gina continues to say that she doesn’t recall calling her a cunt. Andrea doesn’t accept any of the numerous apologies. Andrea calls Gina unhinged. Andrea says that she has everything. Andrea says she is happy.
Then Andrea says, ” I heard you have a soap line. Is that so you can wash your mouth out with it?” Gina shoots right back, “I don’t know, maybe it’s so you can wash Lydia’s vagina out with it.” Oh Gina, never change. Andrea starts applying makeup at the conversation. Gina says she expects an apology from Andrea for all the hideous things she has said. Andrea tries to flee but Gina makes it out first. Andrea says she will stay for some champagne. Gina suggests that when Andrea get home she have her husband check her medications. She says her testosterone is too high and everything else needs to come up. She tells Andrea her deck of cards is about to tumble. Game, set match goes to Gina and her heels.
Ben seems to be doing all of the work for the launch, from the masks to the flowers to overseeing the venue, while Jackie just shows up. Andrea and Lydia spend the ride there talking about Gina and how they never give her any thought because she is insignificant in their lives. Jackie seems to think that she and been have discovered alcohol.
Gina arrives and Lydia and Andrea already start being cunts. Surely Gina wasn’t the first person to call either of them cunts. Thankfully, Chyka arrives to provide some balance. The launch was beautiful and went very well.
The girls all get together and the bitching from Andrea begins. Janet apologizes for throwing Gina under the bus. Janet is trying to drag Jackie into it and point out what a pot stirrer Jackie has been all season. No one seems to be picking up on that. But hey, Jackie’s launch party is the perfect place to call her out. Next topic, Lydia’s vagina. Gina apologizes for the vagina washing joke. Janet owns up to starting all the issues, at least in a talking head.
ENDNOTES:
Janet is still single and protests that she was never two-faced. Although visits to a cosmetic surgeon are still a regular occurrence.
Chyka’s business continues to take the world by storm with events in Buenos Aires, Capri and St. Tropez. She hopes to conquer Switzerland next.
Lydia finished her design course with distinctions. She’s hoping her first job will be with her husband Andrew. It looks to be a “wow” of a year.
With the help of the angels, Jackie and Ben won’t have to wait long for La Mascara to this the shelves. Unlike Gina who’s still waiting for her Grandmother’s messages.
Andrea still hopes to clear the air with Gina, even though her “Gina checklist” remains unchecked.
Gina is still waiting for her apologies. When the other women work out what they have to apologize for, they may contact her, but not by email.
That was an enjoyable season. I loved all the Melbourne scenes. It’s a beautiful city!
Gina wins for best housewife EVER, and that line about Lidia and the soap wins for best line ever. I had to pause the episode at that point because I was laughing so hard. #TeamGina4Ever
Gina is my favourite too. She has made mistakes but hopefully she keeps bringing it next season. I hate when I love someone one season and the next they turn into a giant bitch (Brandi).
I call her “Queen Gina” . All of them wear fabulous clothes.
Geeener needs to reduce her use of spackle on her (again, so still unsure of all that) face. It looks ridiculous! I’d never hire a barrister that looks like that! She (again, unsure) needs a makeunder from the beloved Chyka! Sorry, it’s IMHO but I just can’t look at all that anymore. Love the show and love love love to TT for covering it! Hope we see a second season! Back to BBAUS!
I wish Gina would give Amber a lesson on how to be a cancer survivor. Better yet, sic Andrea and Lydia on Amber and li’l Jim
Is the Reunion for RHOMelbourne going to air next week?
Though I can’t stop staring at Gina’s neon orange skin, garish style & accessory choices, she is still the most level headed.
I just died when she told Andrea to have her Doc husband lower her medication of testosterone and to up everything else that she’s on.#SLAY
Speaking of medication didn’t Andrea seem ummm “medicated” in this episode. She was so slow with her speech like she washed down a Xanax with a Quaalude martini.
I don’t get the La Mascara concept for the beverage line. With the packaging & name it sounds like a make up line, not wine.
Though I only watched this franchise loosely, sometimes this show seemed like a parody of the US Real Housewives. Maybe it was the accents, the gorgeous locale, and the fact these ladies are very very rich, for real.
(Psssst, if you want to avoid showing your age — never say “Quaalude” again!)
Are you a Marvel Comics fan?
ROFLMAO… busted! I had that thought too.
I wonder how the bloggers and or audience of Australia view this bunch? Gina has been my fav since day one as well as Chyka. As for the rest of them…I have no words.
Gina is the clear fan favourite in Australia and with all the girls ganging up on her, there was huge fan backlash against the production company that produced and aired the show. It had some…interesting residual effects on later episodes.
@micheal why was there a backlash against the production company ?
@ Micheal do people in Australia believe that Jackie is really a psychic ?
There was some behind the scenes issues that involved production that a few Australian news blogs and recappers picked up on that caused some public backlash and some of the last episodes to be reedited days before they aired here. TT posted about some of the issues awhile back. There was an anonymous blog calling Gina out which allegedly was written by a Foxtel (the production company) employee which was condemned as fake and a few derogatory remarks about Gina were edited out last minute in later episodes because viewers didn’t like the group and production seemingly ganging up on Gina.
She had no public profile as far as I’m aware so not really conparable to Dubois or anything.
How funny is it that Lydia and Andrea said that Gina is insignificant in their lives! They can’t stop talking about her! And Andrea needs to learn how to walk gracefully in heels. She looked ridiculous tromping into the restaurant to meet Gina. I agree that Andrea looked medicated. I also agree with Gina that she and Lydia are cunts.
I was about to say the exact same thing!
Even in the promo shot at the top of this post Andrea looks like a damn truck driver squatting down to take a shit in the woods.
Despite the obvious connections Gina has with Transville, I would seriously consider the validity of any tea spilled about Andrea being post-op.
I….CAN’T….STOP…..LAUGHING!!!!
Ok thank you micheal.
I love all things Gina!
Yay it’s nearly reunion time!
I must say I’m a bit surprised that Gina has been so well recieved by the Americans. I love her but I thought that her Aussie frankness may be considered too bitchy by some.
Gina really lost me the first episode because I couldn’t stop trying to comprehend her makeup. But quickly after that she became my favorite by far. I’ve never seen a housewife use actual common sense and logic to rip apart someone’s entire argument like Gina did to Andrea on that last episode. And then to end it by telling her to have Lidia wash her vagina… OMG… I will never forget Gina, she will always be my hero.
Maybe we like Gina because she managed to say about the other women what the viewer was thinking at the time. It’s refreshing to have a bit of brutal honesty and less double speak.
i agree w/ you 100% Pop&vodka…plus I aways think something is wrong with my hi-def color settings when she is on the screen.
Does anyone know if there is going to be a reunion? I did not see a preview for it after the episode.
There was a 2 part reunion aired in Australia.
It’s Gina’s ability to remain calm, mature and funny (“Well then don’t look at me darling–don’t look.”) in the midst of such ugliness from the other women–except Chyka, of course–that quickly made her my favorite. She has strenght, intelligence and dignity and calls it as she sees it ie Lydia and Andrea ARE [email protected]! I would be in the fetal position crying my eyes out if I had to deal with half the amount of nastiness she’s dealt with. She’s no saint but kinda amazing. As you can tell, I’m a fan.
Yes, dvr shows reunion part one set to record next week.
Us Americans are a conglomerate of a bunch of other ethnicities (incl Italian-ahem RHONJ) so for some of us it’s a welcomed changed from the two-faced-ness of the Yankee stereotypes. 😉
Lydia and Andrea are morons who need hobbies.
Replace ‘hobbies’ with ‘jobs’. Some real responsibility would hopefully check them. Obviously with their finances they are not stay at home mothers raising their kids solo.
The reason I liked Gina was not for her frankness but because she was the only one with the level of maturity it takes to navigate within a group of women like that. She was the only one wiling to apologize for the sake of making peace. She was not bent on being a trouble maker, and while she may have been frank about her feelings concerning certain situations, she was never vindictive or malicious unlike the rest who seemed to get off on gossiping and stirring the pot. It was like watching high school girls with some of these women.
I am in total agreement about the love for Gina. I am surprised however that more people do not mention Chyka as a favorite. Is there something I missed? Chyka appeared to be very classy. She did not agree with the behavior of the mean girls and she wasn’t wishy washy like Janet. She also had an opinion about Gina’s negative comments which I felt were deserved. Chyka also tried to divert the conversation when Andrea and Lydia brought up Gina over and over again. She has a gorgeous home and throws gorgeous parties. She embodies (at least for now) why I started to watch the Real Housewives in the first place. The Negative Nancy in me expects her to turn into the now run of the mill, attention seeking fame whore for next season or face termination or background status. I want to have hope but Bravo has done nothing but disappoint. I love a little drama and snark along the lines of Gina, Lisa Vanderpump and my all-time favorite, Jeff Lewis. I cannot stand and will fast forward anything that involves criminals, fake rich people and overall fame whores (this is where I should enter the names 95% of Bravo’s actors). I plan on watching the next season of Melbourne but I am not holding my breath that I will not have to fast forward the junk.
Let just say… I love, love, love Chyka, she is very reserved and classy. I like Gina as well… We just need to throw her down and wash the orange off… Whew! Lolll..
I love this show, they have real money and it shows. Hurry up season 2!
It’s funny, because I think in your first recap you said that you couldn’t imagine Gina possibly becoming your favorite, as she supposedly was in Melbourne. I THINK you said that, or maybe it was someone else’s comment. Anyway, i felt the exact and way, and lo and behold, she certainly is.
Did I read in the comments along the way that Lydia and Andrea are not back next season? God I hope I am remembering that right. They are absolutely horrid. That shot of Andrea when she was walking into the cafe or whatever trying to look all sexy in that outfit that was clearly way to young for her. Epic fail. Most unsexy walk ever. Also, when Andrea and Gina were arguing at the table and Andrea started powdering her nose… What a copy cat! That was Gina’s move at the tennis match gang up, and unlike Andrea, when she did it it was a badass! I also could have done without hearing about how much Lydia’s vagina is used. Again, I really hope Lydia and Andrea aren’t coming back.
The party looked cool, but I noticed that the were no bottles, just empty boxes. Something tells me that that’s how that might stay. The angels better get to work on that shit!
Lastly, Ben really should have his own tagline and be standing with his hand on his hip in opening credits. I swear he gets more camera time than some of the ladies.
Sorry so long. Looking forward to the reunion!
Lydia is back. Andrea quit (so she says). She is only filming a couple of scenes to explain her leaving the show I believe but she is not considered a cast member and isn’t in any of the promotional material. I had issues with Lydia and Andrea too however, I think Lydia may have been swayed by Andrea so with her absence Lydia may surprise us all and be cool like Camille Grammer season 2 of Beverly Hills.
Ahaaaaa… I seeeee. Thanks Michael. I’m so glad we have you here for all of this good Melbourne hw’s info.
Michael what would we do without you?! 🙂
I am a little concerned about there not having been a promo for “Next time, on RHOM…” with scenes from the reunion…It certainly has potential for being a doozy and I sincerely hope it airs!!
It will. Same bat time same bat channel. I might even get up in time to cover it in real time… but don’t count on it.
On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 9:20 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’m going to download and rewatch the reunion with you guys :). From memory it wasn’t as epic as say the NJ reunion where Tre pushed Andy. I also think they need to rethink the host for season 2. Alex was a bit of a fence sitter who seemed hard on Gina and very easy on Andrea/Lydia (probably due to producers trying give them a positive spin) and brown nosed Jackie.
Have anybody noticed how many times the other ladies mention or ask where is Gina every episode! That Andrea looks like a football player in a dress and that short short outfit with big hat was worst!
They are just jealous of Gina because she is beautiful, smart and independent. Gina dont look for a man to have a storyline it is good to see a strong independent woman who can take care of herself without a man.
The other ladies need to get a job especially Jackie her husband looks stressed and I don’t know any liquor line that can go from concept to production in 2 weeks. She so ignorantly said you need to sell more records. Can anybody tell me when was the last time he had a hit or what music he has done.
Or when he washed his hair!!
Andrea was clearly fired. She claims she quit because…… wait for it………
“she ran out of outfits.”
On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 10:16 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I looked up Silverchair, they are Australia’s Nirvana They started in early 90’s. They are on hiatus as of 2011. Jackie’s husband needs to lose the Dave Grohl mustache. You can go to Dan Murphy and order the liquor line right now! or not……
Woo how I can’t stand Andrea and Lydia!!!! They live in their insecurities!
If Andrea is going to wear those ridiculously expensive and high heeled shoes, she needs to learn how to walk in em. Her walk does not say “ease, glamor and sophistication” – – – it says “where’s something I can hold on to so I don’t fall over?!”
I love love love Gina and Chyka. Janet is kinda pathetic but not a bad person. Jackie is self deluded but likeable. Andrea and Lydia are just plain cunts. I enjoyed this season very much. We all have reality people we love to hate and Andrea and Lydia did a masterful job showing us just now superficial, snotty and self absorbed they are. We also had people to cheer on (Go Chyka! Go Gina!), people we really wanted to like despite it all (Janet) and Jackie is just harmless and fun.
I love love Gina and Chyka too. When Gina said the vagina/soap remark I was Team Gina for life. She broke Andrea. You could see it. It was the most delicious checkmate ever. I enjoyed the clothes and the glamour of the Melbourne HWs. I predict 2nd season to be awful though. Once the wives become famous, the shows become less fun. Maybe they should go around the world and do one season in every major city. No second or third seasons allowed, so we don’t end up hating our favorites (waves at Nene).
The show isn’t that popular in Australia to warrant any true diva behavior so hopefully season 2 isn’t too different from season 1.
Every time I see Gina she reminds me of actress Joan Cusack in Working Girl. Same hair and makeup. It’s awesome. I really enjoy watching her – It’s great to see a woman who’s confident enough to handle the cattiness that’s been thrown at her and not internalize it. She def fights back by being clever and direct which is why she always comes out on top. And Chyka is a doll. I love her and her husband together – so sweet.
Filming is happening. But why are they in Sydney?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2771673/The-Real-Housewives-Melbourne-attend-glitzy-art-gallery-cocktail-party-looking-glam-ever.html
It’s only an hour flight from Melbourne. I’m surprised they haven’t filmed in Sydney more often considering Americans recognise it more as our capital city (even though it isn’t). Janet’s dress is horrible with the weird chest seems.
I think the production company probably worked a deal with some PR firm that works in Sydney to get them access to high end restaurants, bars, clubs and shops for the current second season.
Gina has always fascinated me, because she had a life and existence outside of having a man in her life. I think she’s an amazingly strong individual, who bore the brunt of unnecessary cattiness from two women (Andrea and Lydia), who became obsessed with trying to tear Gina down. To quote the out there, but loveable Jackie, the angels were looking out for Gina and refused to not let her light: SHINE SHINE SHINE.
I think Chyka’s gorgeous and I love how calm, collected, charming and in charge she is regarding her personal and professional life. She doesn’t put on airs and she (along with her husband) have worked for their success. I wish that Jackie and Ben would follow in Chyka and her husband’s road to how they developed their business.
I don’t understand Janet. She purposely stirred up trouble and it wasn’t needed at all.
I don’t think that Lydia is stupid, but I wonder if she does anything else other than talk about how much sex she has with her husband and how she’s able to fly a plane.
Andrea aka Igor….please stay home with all of your “checklists” and keep your paranoid and dissatisfied with your life self off the screen. She is really unhappy and she has major issues with how she’s viewed as being a mother to her kids.
Some woman said something about her as a mother and she has never been able to let that go. That’s why she’s so determined to show other “successful women” how to be better moms.
Just sad.
@DifficultDiva that is probably true. Meals and venues offer their services free of charge for the exposure. I gave my friend at Jacques Reymond in Prahran shit for hosting the ladies and film crew. I think a RH of the Gold Coast would be pretty funny. Like our version of the OC.
But WTF is there to do in Canberra? 🙂
On Tue, Sep 30, 2014 at 6:35 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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@TT norhing. It has our federal parliament, ASIO and other governmental offices and arguably our best university in Australia but that is it. It’s proof that compromises don’t always work out.
Our stupid government curriculum has us teaching about other countries when our kids don’t even know what country they live in, what state they live in or what city they live in. I think it was second grade where we had Australia and Japan. I of course went way over board on the teaching. My kids corrected the principal on the capital of Australia once. LOL. We also won some sort of Australian tourism contest where kids had to draw pictures of Australian stuff and send it in. We had two winners from my class out of like 50 internationally. 🙂 We also learned some basic Japanese that year. This made the principal irritated too. LOL. I will never understand elementary school principals. I guess 20 kids saying please and thank you and hello and goodbye in Japanese came off as a bit snobby.
On Wed, Oct 1, 2014 at 12:40 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I am honestly Impressed by that information. We suffer a similar issue here in Australia where adult aussies dont even know what our capital is. I get weird stares when I told friends I travelled from Sydney to our capital for some work (they assumed Sydney was our capital as it hosted the Olympics).
We thought the name was kinda funny. We’re seven. lol. They could not tell you what the capital of the US is, or how many states we have or their home address. But they know a shitload about Martin Luther King (indoctrination begins in kindergarten) the sleeping habits of the koala.
I also go in trouble for having my students recreate the Olympic opening by walking through the halls with the flags (We were Canadians that year for some reason, oh a friend in Vancouver sent us flags and mascots and stuff other goodies). I also got in trouble for letting my kids eat lunch in the classroom and watch the Olympic opening games and a few of the games.
I was a rebel with a cause I tell you! lol.
On Wed, Oct 1, 2014 at 1:26 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Hehe too funny. I’m glad they know the Koala isn’t a bear. The only bears we have in Australia are at leather dive bars wearing questionable attire. I doubt you were able to teach the children about that subspecies ;).
No, but now I have this outlet to teach about bears and creative profanity.
On Wed, Oct 1, 2014 at 1:58 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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