If you recall, when reports of Jacqueline Laurita returning to RHONJ came out, I told you guys it absolutely didn’t happen on August 8th. My source explained that filming had long been completed and the stories were false. Then a month later, there she was on the Bravo Site previews and I was gob smacked as was my source. I was then informed that in post production it was decided that the new people were bombing and unlikable so they needed for find someone to bring back. Okay, I can see that, but Jacqueline? Do they really think she is a fan favorite? I guess Caroline turned them down. Anyway, Jac had come back to film a week or two before I reached out to my source, in July pretending it was winter time. I’m guessing we won’t see any outdoor scenes tonight. This is one of the more ridiculous things that Bravo has done.
Sidenote: It looks like the reunion will be filming at the end of the week, on Friday if I recall correctly. That’s less than a week before Teresa’s sentencing. Look for her to be heavily sedated.
On with the show…
The girls are all head off to Boca Raton. How is that just a two-hour flight? Why am I not going there? The ladies are flying down by themselves and have all the usual luggage struggles. I guess that Teresa and Joe were not allowed to leave the state. The ladies are glad that Amber isn’t coming. The ladies arrive at a beautiful home to relax and bask in the sun.
Cut to New Jersey where it is snowy and dreary. We are shown a house with a for sale sign advertising a property with a pool and a spa. Teresa and Gia are looking for a place to move. Teresa says she is no longer skeeved by looking at other people’s houses. She is not materialistic anymore, y’all. Her priorities have shifted. Ah, nothing like a pre-sentencing burst of morality and frugality. The house Teresa and Gia are looking at is still beyond their means. What happens when she goes to prison will someone move into the house to tend the girls for those two months or so? Is this simply so Teresa can say she has a rental where she can do her house arrest? There is no way anyone would give her a loan, except for maybe the cocktail weenie if he really is still employed in the mortgage industry. The house is nearly 9,00o square feet. He is talking to her about property taxes. There is no way Teresa can buy a house in New Jersey. I just don’t believe that is possible this is scripted shit. The list price is $1.4 million.
Speaking of miracles, Kathy Wakile pulls into Jacqueline’s driveway. The trees are verdant, she sky is blue and not a snowflake to be seen. It’s a miracle! I honestly didn’t think they would be dumb enough to do exterior filming in July and pretend it is March are whenever, but never underestimate the stupidity of Bravo production! They seem to grossly underestimate our intelligence.
Of course the Jac and Kathy scene is scheduled during Nick’s treatments. I remember when the exploitation of Nick was the low point of RHONJ. And then Jim and Amber showed up. There was absolutely no point to this scene. I cannot fathom how production thought this scene was necessary in the slightest. Is there reason I am missing? Okay they flip back to this scene and start talking about Teresa taking the plea deal. Jac says she thought after the Arizona trip she and Tre were fine. But they never got together again. Duh, filming was over. Jac reads her scripted tweet to Tre out loud to Kathy. Jac is making it all about her. Kathy is trying to let her know Tre doesn’t need the hassle that is Jacqueline right now, but Jac is not receiving the feedback.
Back in Boca, the girls are lubing up their fake titties while given the pool boy their drink orders. The girls are having fun and they all have amazing bodies and cute two pieces. Later the ladies go shopping for groceries. Dina admits she is much better at setting a beautiful table than cooking.
Back in Jersey Joe Gorga is stuck with the kids. He is rough housing with them and getting them all riled up. He is one of those husbands that thinks taking care of his kids alone is “babysitting” not “parenting.” I like Joe but he does not parent his kids at all. It’s kind of sad.
While Amber’s bloodwork the first time took a few days to come back, but this time it is miraculous completed while she waits. And SURPRISE! Her bloodwork is fine.
Kathy takes Jac to see her new house she is building with Rich. The thing I like about Kathy and Rich is they actually have jobs and as she says, they planned and worked to be able to afford their home. This seems like a novel concept in New Jersey, at least on RHONJ. Jacqueline is selling her house. They need money for Nick and all those legal fees. They need to downsize. Yet another person with legal issues who is suddenly frugal and wanting to downsize for the greater good of humanity. #eyeroll
Dina is having a hard time not telling the twins about the rumor Tre shared with her. Amber calls Dina and says she and Jim are on the way to the house. Dina is less than thrilled. She is worried that Amber is going to blurt out the nasty rumor about Rino.
Time for the touching family scene to make the Giudices look like June and Ward Cleaver. Juicy is in a suit and tie. Where was Joe all day in the suit? Was he in state court getting a continuance again? Who knows. Joe is talking about selling the house and buying the other house outright. THAT IS HYSTERICAL they have like $150,000 in equity in the house with millions of dollars of mortgages on the house. The will never get the $4 million they need to break even. Ever. And I love how Teresa says it would be a good business opportunity for them when her defense is she has no idea what they do with their money because Juicy handles everything.
Back in Boca, I must say the twins and Dina and Melissa are quite enjoyable, and they seem to really know how to cook with or without Dina. The food looks amazing. All four are a bit drunk. Now they are all revealing stuff about themselves. Things turn raunchy. It’s all in good fun.
Rino texts and says that is Jim is coming he is not. This trip is super fun to watch so far. Things are so happy and fun! Everyone is drunk. Dina, bless her heart, decides to pull Teresa aside and talk to her privately. OMG. No. I was just feeling the happy and things are about to take a turn. I mean really, Dina. What are you going to say um I just want you to know that Amber and Tre heard that your husband fucked your mother? I don’t think this is even covered in the Countess’ book of etiquette. DON’T DO THIS DINA!
Dina tries to tell Teresa and she says if it is not about her personally, she doesn’t want to hear it. Good for you Teresa.
Ut oh when the four girls reconvene, Nicole says she wants to know. Everyone smartly decides to sleep it off.
Next week: Jim loses his mind and even Amber is pissed at him.