I’m not sure I can handle Jacqueline exploiting her kid and Amber’s cancer storyline ramping up all in one episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. UGH.
We start with the Giudice family waking up in the house that fraud built. Teresa is trying to keep things as normal as possible right up until she and Joe head off for college. Am I the only one that forgets that Gabriella even exists? Teresa drives the kids to school in her PJs. Gia tells her mom she is proud of her for being strong throughout her trial.
I literally forgot I was supposed to be blogging during this scene with Dina. So boring.
Joe Gorga doesn’t seem to be having the easiest time dealing with his sister going to the big house.
Rino’s scene where he discusses his enlarged prostate and upcoming colonoscopy was made even more disturbing when he donned a pair of underpants with a cock sock which he twirled on national television.
Is this episode over yet?
Melissa and Joe go to meet with an architect for the house that will never be built. They should be living with the beavers fairly soon. The imaginary house is huge and just as hideous as all the others. They plan on the pool costing $250,000. Joe says he wants to be out of that house and into a bigger one in less than two years. How long until the Feds start checking out how all of this crap is being financed? Do these people learn nothing?
It’s time for Amber to do a talking head with her boobs handing out about going to Easter church services. Oh and the cancer and how the cancer made her start going to church. Did you know she had cancer over five years ago? Yes, she did. Oh wait, he five-year mark is coming up. How coincidental that check up occurred during filming. Amber goes to call Teresa to let her know she is at the church praying for her, even though Teresa’s situation is not nearly as dire as Amber’s tragic life. Teresa was at the gym working out. She has some guns on her! Amber is mostly pressing for information and being nosy more than supportive. Teresa finally says, “Don’t ask questions. If I want you to know something, I’ll tell you.”
I slept through another Dina scene. Sorry. Basically, her assistant Luke is moving to Ireland to get laid by Irish guys.
Why is Rino wearing surgical gloves to chop vegetables. TeRESSA and Rino have Dina and Lexi over for dinner the night before Rino’s colonoscopy. That, as one might imagine, makes for lovely dinner conversation. Then the topic shifts to Amber and how gossipy and nosy she is. Dina’s position is that Tre’s court battles are nobody’s business. My position is you can google the details if you want to know without asking “your friend” who is going through all the drama recount it to everyone one by one.
Teressa doesn’t know why she has to go to the colonoscopy. Didn’t anyone tell her she is going to have to drive him home? The doctor says Rino has the prettiest colon she’s seen in a long time. My doctor said the same exact thing to me. Sounds like they say that to everyone. Who knew?
Amber: blah blah blah cancer. But what the fuck is that shirt she is wearing? Amber says she is not going to Florida.
Now Teresa says she is not going to Florida. Then she tells Dina about the rumor about Rino. Dina doesn’t believe it.
Next Week: It’s the Florida Trip. And the winter in July scenes that Kathy and Jacqueline filmed. And Jacqueline and the kid. And Teresa looks for a place to live when the bank takes her house back.