It’s time to head back down under to see watch these witches are doing. Melbourne truly is a beautiful city. Too bad is it so far away. Lydia goes over to some idiot woman’s house to gossip about the girls. But first, Lydia completely misses the woman’s joke about not having carbs since 1964. It completely goes over Lydia’s pointy little head and she takes it literally and is baffled. I often say I haven’t cleaned my kitchen since the 1970’s but it would seem obvious that I didn’t even have a kitchen to clean in the 1970s. Are there really many people out there as stupid as Lydia? Apparently the woman’s name is Lisa. Lisa says never to thin, never too rich and Lydia tosses her head back and laughs hysterically. In her talking head Lydia talks about Lisa’s hilarious one-liners. Clearly, she is not familiar with the Duchess of Windsor. I suppose that would require some sort of reading on her part.
Anyway, Lydia goes on to tell Lisa that Gina totally deserved the treatment that she and Andrea gave her at Mission Beach. When Lisa asks who she is closest to in the group she says no one. Then for some reason we hear about Lisa’s life, which we care about not at all.
Poor Andrea is still trying to hawk her book on parenting. She says she knows it is what working mothers want to read, even though he focus group hated the book and looked at her like she had to heads. Undeterred, Andrea goes to speak with a publisher. The publisher suggests that she start with a blog to begin developing a readership base. Andrea keeps saying she is a journalist. I thought she sold face creams out of her husband’s plastic surgery office on days that did not end in “y.” The publicist is kindly explaining in many different ways she has no interest in her book, but Andrea is hearing none of it. Andrea says that she is writing the book solely to get back at someone who told her she didn’t love her children because she works. The publisher is visually appalled and suggests that building up conflict is not the way to go. In her talking head, Andrea basically says “I don’t need no stupid publisher!” Because, delusional.
Jackie and Ben go to meet with someone about their cocktail line. They seem to think that they will be having a launch party in four weeks. The consultant tells them they are putting the cart before the horse. Jackie is hoping her angels will just make everything happen. The next guy they talk to explains to their drinks have no shelf life and the bottles are all wrong. These people don’t have any idea what they are doing at all. Ben says they learned about a lot of little details that they had not considered, like the bottles and the liquid. Yes, Ben, you don’t just create a label and the rest just magically happens by angels.
Lydia goes to meet with Andrea? Andrea looks different in every scene. Andrea is having a party for her new face cream shop and she invited everyone, but she plans to disinvite Gina.
Janet goes to a plastic surgeon to consult on more operations for her son Jake who was badly burned in a fire and has undergone a horrific amount of surgery. This surgeon is consulting to reconstruct his face. He suggest that a professional needs to coordinate his surgeries.
Andrea’s launch party appears to really be for her husband’s new surgical center. Chyka’s company was used for catering and design. Jackie gives a bitchy talking head about Gina not being invited to the party. Janet does one as well. All the women are standing around slamming Gina and Chyka tries to get them to move on. But they continue to swipe at Gina the entire party, it seems.
Finally, a Gina scene. It’s very short. She calls her stylist to help her get ready for, I believe, Chyka’s dog party.
Jackie and Lydia go lingerie shopping for Jackie’s upcoming date. Jackie spends four grand on a bra and panties. They go on a date and Jackie asks what the most expensive bottle of wine they have is, and orders that. She doesn’t seem to care what it might taste like. Later they go on a romantic boat ride down the Yarra. These two are very materialistic. Jackie gets diamond earring and is conveniently not wearing any earrings when she receives them. It seems the whole “trying to hard” thing is universal with the housewives.
Chyka’s party is over the top elegant with the most gorgeous food imaginable. The party is simply stunning and the food is definitely the star. The ladies talking without Gina there was all about Andrea and her book cover. I think that is why Lydia and Andrea hate Gina so much, she gets all the focus on her when she is in the mix. And then the conversation turns to Gina.
Gina arrives and everyone fake greets Gina. The girls manage to behave and toast to moving forward a few times, but sadly I don’t think the vipers in the group are capable of that.
Next Week: Gina ends her friendship with Janet. Chyka finally has the dog party. Lydia is mad at Janet for calling her brainless. And Ben starts to realize they have no business making a cocktail line.
I love these ladies but I especially love your posts, TT! Thank you for doing them. I like to read your analysis before watching so I can pay better attention and insert your snarky comments. You make it much more entertaining and fun!
They need to record snippets of TT’s blog as talking heads and insert them into all Bravo shows.
Ooh, that’s genius!
AMEN.
They are so jealous of Gina they can’t see straight and it’s so funny how they all look to each other for a pat on the back after they attack her. They know they have nothing real to go on so they have to validate one another. I tell you it’s down right pathetic! Different show, same antics. It kind of reminds of how on RHOBH they all went after Lisa V.
That’s why Gina and Lisa V are fake besties, or better yet Bravo Besties.
I can see, with my powers to tell the future, that Ben and Jackie might lose some $ on their alcohol adventures.
Ben*
Now that was a funny comment. One simple word conveyed such a funny comment.
Great recap ! Queen Gina is my favorite HW .
Janet’s story about her son was really sad. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and terror he must’ve felt.
If only these shows focused on the wives real stories like this. Then again Jacqueline from HWNJ took it a bit far with her son and daughter…..
I agree. I think the difference is, Janet was not exploiting her son and his ordeal, she was truly concerned about his recovery.
Yeah, given all that Janet has been through, I would think Gina would be a bit more forgiving of her scatterbrained compliance with the mean girls. Clearly between the divorce and her son she deserves some leeway. It doesn’t look like Gina gives her any next week.
On Sun, Sep 14, 2014 at 6:50 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I disagree. I hate it when housewives bring up on the show such macabre topics. The blonde one on Miami with her son in the accident, the drunk one from Vancouver with her daughter that has mental issues, Jacqueline with her boy..
I don’t like it. I watch these shows to be entertained not to start feeling sorry for these ridiculous petty middle aged drama queens. And every single one of them uses it in one way or another, even Janet.
I completely disagree. Knowing your son was literally on fire, with burns covering 70% of his body, with a 35% chance of recovery….You can’t get more real than that. This was truly reality tv. She was seeking support from a friend…NOT exploiting her son.
I’d rather hear real stories and real relationships than the overly scripted “I thought we were going to have a nice dinner, but instead we had stupid drama” each week.
Clearly there is a fine line between exploiting a family tragedy and allowing the viewer to understand the ‘real’ housewife. When you have Jacq parading her ‘rude’ daughter and autistic son around in every scene of every episode it is uncomfortable to watch.
The same goes for Amber with ‘the cancer’. I know people still in treatment who talk less about it than she does. However, I do find it refreshing where real tragedies are not glossed over on ‘reality’ shows.
@TT I think that Janet and Gina mend their relationship post season 1. I hope to see the two of them having fun together in season 2.
I still hope for the scenes where Kyle and Lisa just have fun again.
How many seasons have they done?
I think Andrea’s book should be called “How to Marry Well and Manage Your Nannies”. Could she really be that blind to the obvious negative reaction to her book idea from both the focus group and the Publisher? Does anyone else notice the rage in Jackie’s eyes if she thinks anyone remotely thinks she and her husband are not über-wealthy? I want to like her but she ends up acting so trashy. Poor Gina-I agree that he/she is rude when it comes to other people’s time but I think the ladies are just jealous that he/she is a truly independent and successful person.
Jackie is so neaveau riche it’s nauseating. She thinks she’s so much better than anyone on “planet toorak”, meanwhile completely blind to her own materialistic shallowness. Nothing worse than a hypocrite.
I think secretly Jackie would swap places with Andrea in a heartbeat. More money and connections. Jackie is a climber.
Andrea was soooo annoying this whole episode- can we puh-leaze let the tennis court/towels/”disrespecting” your non-existent book go?? No wonder she’s not back next season -her juvenile attitude and behavior trumps that of all other housewives on all other franchises (Tamra Barmpney excluded as her issues are attributed to Borderline Personality Disirder -clinical diagnosis, textbook case study). And Lydia “I love being tied up” blehhh!! I made that sound so loudly when she said that my husband asked what was wrong!!
What will Lydia do next season without Andrea? Now that will be fun to watch.
Barmpney = Barney.
Bizzaro autocorrect!
It was such an amazing coincidence that Janet said she had searched the whole world over for plastic surgeons for her son then she ends up in her friends office.
I think Jackie and Ben want to be the next Bethanny Frankel of cocktails, cashing in big but without doing any actual work. I was grateful I did not hear “shine” and “rock star” on repeat this episode.
Going on nearly 2 years since they filmed some of those scenes and I have never seen one of their cocktails advertised or purchasable anywhere. I should have prefaced this observation with the fact that I am a 27 year old medium drinker. So if they are out there I’d think by now I would have seen/consumed one. So Bethenny/JimBeam have nothing to worry about. 😉
Maybe they sell it in Australia, we may not see it in the North American market. Assuming you’re in North America…
You know what they say about assuming. He’s one of my Melbourne spies. 🙂
On Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 3:53 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I thought it was a ridiculous statement when she said how it’s ironic that she uses plastic surgery for her looks and now her son is using it too. I don’t see what’s ironic about that… that she goes to a plastic surgeon for plastic surgery? So ironic.
Only one season fully filmed and aired. They are apparently filming the second season now probably to air early next year in Australia. Hopefully we can all watch it together. 🙂
Ooooooo… I hope so too. I don’t see why they wouldn’t, right?
If I hear Jackie say “Australian Rock Royalty” one more time I’m going to be sick.
Wait for season 2 ;).
What neon muppet was Lydia wearing at Lisa’s house? Not a fan of it. Maybe on a younger person though? Also I am so curious if Andy will be hosting their reunion? Janet’s son is cute!
The reunion already taped in March/April this year. The host is Alex Perry an Australian fashion designer who also appears on Australia’s Next Top Model. I doubt they will reshoot the reunion with Andy, they will just air the aussie hosted reunion.
This is the first episode that I paid attention to Gina’s hair beyond it being big. I noticed she has a hairline similar to Teresa Guidice, though less extreme. This could be a reason she wears it teased up. I would once like to see Gina with normal makeup. I suspect she may be much prettier than I think she already is. It is hard to tell, well done makeup can be so transforming.
I want the wardrobe of some of the ladies, only some. I would not have the occasions or the body to wear it well but I can dream. For some reason I like the AU fashions better than what they show in shopping scenes on RHOBH. I would assume they are all wearing the same big name designers popular mostly world wide.
I noticed her hair too this episode, when she had her fashion friend fasten her necklace. I am shocked at what bad shape it’s in with all that money. It looked as dry as hay.
Very few reality characters I’ve disliked so much so fast as Andrea, oh yes maybe Daniel, but at least she had wonderful daughters. I can’t believe how fast Janet switched teams, what a loud mouth gossip she is. I dislike her, but Andrea makes my skin call.
If any of you haven’t seen “Ja’mie: Private School Girl” on HBO, I highly recommend it, Ja’mie, is played by a man, Chris Lilley, and I swear, he must have based his character on Jackie. I thought the character was so a such a huge exaggeration, until I saw Jackie on the show. Both of them say things like, “I get so perved looking at my body.” Had to laugh at Ben, we had no idea about “details” like bottling and content and manufacturing. What did they have? A stupid name and a stupid label.
Absolutely love Gina and Chyka
my skin crawl not call. 😀
It’s unreal how in love with herself Jackie is. She’s not even that pretty. It must be nice to feel that good about yourself though, even if you are delusional.
I would LOVE to see Gina without makeup! Or even just half the amount that she wears.
I personally like Gina & her no nonsense attitude, but whenever she appears on my High Def TV her orange skin tone color is a SHOCK to my senses. I always think someone changed my color settings to NEON URNGE….
All I could think during the entire scene between Lydia and her friend was “How can a woman who is clearly so hungry possibly run a company?”
I loved how the publisher completely disagreed with Andrea’s game plan during their meeting, Andrea argued with every single thing the publisher said, and then in her TH she said that the meeting went really well. Why did she even bother going. She’s so “yuck”.
Andrea blames production and the show for her book dreams falling apart. In reality she is delusional if she ever thought her book would be well recieved by working mothers or stay at home mothers alike.
You hit the nail on the head TAFKAY!