Leann and Eddie take their parents on a family trip to Hawaii. I’m pretty sure the boys went too, but they are not allowed to be filmed. I seem to remember Brandi whining about this on Twitter when it happened. Leann’s mom has been married to her stepfather, Ted for about 13 years. Leann loves Ted.
Leann and Eddie rented a three bedroom condo and ranked third on bedroom choices. Welcome to vacationing with family. Someone asks what Leann’s mom is drinking and she says a virgin pina colada. Eddie asked why it’s a virgin. She says she doesn’t like liquor. She’s never smoked, drank or cheated on her husbands. Awkward silence. Leann says, “I’ve got you beat on that one!” Eddie’s dad is one of those people who spends his entire vacation taking pictures. I don’t believe in vacation pictures.
Leann and Eddie tell their parents that she is off birth control. Eddie says they are not deliberately trying get pregnant, but if it happens it happens. This qualifier seems to annoy Leann who seems to be trying without him.
The parents want to do all the touristy stuff in Hawaii and Eddie in particular just wants to sit on the beach drinking alcohol. Leann is not hitting the alcohol hard because she is trying to have a baby whether Eddie acknowledges it or not. For me, I’m not above doing some touristy things, and it’s fun to go to the grocery store in exotic places (I imagine mounds of SPAM and a bunch of unusual kinds of fresh fish in a Hawaiian grocery store) but I agree with Eddie that there should be days that the most strenuous thing you should have to do is turn over to get the sun on all fours sides of your body. #FatGirProblems.
The next morning at 7 am everyone is going paddle boarding. It’s like a contest to see who can break a hip first.
Later at lunch, Leann decides it’s time to start a pregnancy scare storyline. Leann’s mom is already naming the nonexistent baby. Leann’s stepdad wants to go swimming with the sharks. Since it is raining, the decide to do it. Because that makes sense. There are a million sharks around the cage and this is the sort of stuff I should not watch because I already have a healthy fear of swimming in the ocean. Eddies parents did not participate. Because they are smart.
Later at breakfast, the two grandmothers conspire to buy a pregnancy test for Leann who arrives late to breakfast with Eddie, limping on a sprained ankle that likely was injured in some kinky sex act the night before. The grandparents decide to give Leann and Eddie their own private day. Leann and Eddie go on a horseback riding trail in the rain and are shot by paparazzi. Leann tells Eddie she is late. Eddie says if she is pregnant he is excited. Leann immediately asks how he thinks Brandi will react.
The grandparents go shopping for a pregnancy test for Luann. Leann brings up that her mother doesn’t like horses because one bit her in the nipple once. Um… ouch?
The next morning, Leann pees in a wine glass and brings the “wine glass full of pee to the breakfast table.” Aren’t you suppose to pee on the stick? Is it really necessary to submerge it urine? Shocker! She is not pregnant! #eyeroll