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You are here: Home / Below Deck / Below Deck Recap: Mo Mojitos, Mo Problems…

Below Deck Recap: Mo Mojitos, Mo Problems…

August 26, 2014 by tamaratattles 26 Comments

Below Deck Kelly

We start at the point where Kelly cracked his skull on the concrete after falling off the swing. Amy takes her brother to the ER.  Everyone else goes back to the boat where Kat and Ben continue to flirt with disaster, by flirting with each other on national TV when both of them are involved with people on land.  Ben takes it upon himself to tell Eddie he needs a backup plan for Andrew because Andrew sucks. It’s not a casual thing, it’s more of a drunken directive that crosses the boundary into telling the brand new bosun he is not doing his job correctly. Seriously, Ben.  Eddie has enough to deal with without you adding to the situation. Go back to cheating on your girl friend. Kelly shows up at 3:30  am and gets into bed. Ben denies Kat her request for a kiss. Tomorrow is a new charter.

Andrew’s ineptitude is highlighted once again. He is tired and clearly he has no clue what he is doing. He’s not even wearing shoes which causes him to get splinters in his feet. Just then, Captain Lee walks by and says, “What do you think? Deck shoes?” and keeps on walking. Priceless. Eddie asks him to take some things to the starboard bosun locker. Andrew doesn’t know what any of that means.

Kate didn’t seem to take to the down home silliness of the first group of guests, so this new group with black  truffle  on their provisions list should make her happy. Right? It’s an anniversary trip and their first trip without the kids. They are hot and rich and Kate is already jealous.  She is already complaining about making mojitos. This speaks more to her bartending skills than their taste in beverages.

below-deck-season-2-andrewMeanwhile back with Andrew, the Frootloop Dingus of Below Deck,  He is having problems figuring out how to remove the tarps from the deck furniture. This probably should have been done an hour ago. He finally goes to Eddie for help and he patiently tries to explain how to do it from the dock.  It’s not getting through so Kelley is sent to help him. Which he does with a bit of an attitude, which is justifiable frustration since he has his own shit to do.

Andrew goes to call his mommy. Andrew has anxiety. His mother sounds like a headshrinker talking about “catastrophic thinking” ( don’t ask me how I know this.)  I am starting to feel sorry for the kid. He doing a deep breathing technique on the way to the wheelhouse to visit Captain Lee.  He starts the conversation with, “I hate to do this…” Captain says,” That tells me I’m probably going to hate it more than you do.”  As someone with an anxiety disorder, this is one of the most real things I’ve ever seen on reality TV. Andrew is riding the edge of a panic attack during this scene. He admits that he “really embellished his resumé .”  He has no experience. Captain Lee is seething quietly on the other side of the table. He says his first inclination is to throw his ass off the boat. But that would leave them shorthanded for the charter. Andrew gets a lack of integrity lecture from Captain Lee. Captain tells him that if he wants to stay he has to go tell the crew members and they will all be his boss from now on. Andrew tells the deckhands that he lied about his entire resume. He’s only done one charter. Eddie is hurt. He just sends him back to work. Eddie seems to want to fire him but the Captain has already given him a second chance. Kelley is going to give him the military treatment.

It’s raining a bit as the clients arrive. Kate says the clients are inelegant and showy and are going to want a lot of attention. One of the female guests orders an oddball drink that requires lavender which is not on hand. Kate tells Amy she is high maintenance and she already hates her before the ship leaves port. Kate’s a bitch.  Kat and Ben have plenty of time to bitch about Andrew as Kat watches Ben cook.  Kate offers the guests wine and is pissed when they order mojitos. Kate is so jealous of these women, particularly the wife of the primary client she is turning as green as a mojito. They have no mint even though it was on the provisions list so they substitute chervil (fancypants parsley) with some mint extract added. Oh I’m sure that will be lovely. How convenient that little Miss I Ain’t Making Mojitos All Week’s provisions arrived with no mint. She also said that only ” terrorists and assholes order mojitos.”

The weather sucks.  The male guests want to dive so that will give them something to do in the rain. The underwater shots are amazing. Kate’s attitude is so not amazing. She really hates that she has to serve people who have the life she wants. In her talking heads she says that this is their one shot at luxury so they are milking it. Really? The husband owns a tech company your wretched little glorified waitress with an attitude. She talks about having to iron her “dirty Forever 21 skirt.”  If anyone would know Forever 21’s clothing line, its Kate. She’s too bitter for this job. It’s not endearing. I miss Adrienne Gang.  When we get to the port where she is I hope Captain Lee throws this bitch into the ocean with only her fake tits for flotation. Oh wait. No one has bought her any fake tits. Another reason she is bitter.

Andrew is getting the full shun from the crew.  At lunch with the deckhands he says I guess the “bitch work” will be given to him. Jennice was not letting that slide. Eddie tries to explain how offensive that was and so Andrew and apologizes and says “I’m sorry, you are more of a man than I am at this job.”  Oh Andrew. You really need to try to find an ally. Jennice walks off to avoid punching Andrew in the face. Eddie gives Andrew a lecture.

The guests notice that Kate is a giant cunt. Go figure. But they love Amy, the southern girl with the constant bless your heart smile. Amy is working with the same high demands as Kate is,  only Amy is sweet girl from Alabama with some home training. In Amy’s talking head she talks about how she loves making the guests happy and giving them a total luxurious experience.  The guests tell Kate in the nicest way, they’d like to see her smile more. That pisses her off even more.

Below Deck Ben Galley

The boys play poker and Amy brings them Cuban cigars for the game. The ladies want sex from Ben, I mean a cooking lesson from Ben. They want to get cooking with Ben. Ben seems fine with indulging them. I think the was fine with it because most of them have ginormous fake tits. So Ben rocks out with his conch out in the kitchen. His explanation of what a conch is, is rife with innuendo and probably single handedly upping the tip if the women have any say in what goes in the envelope, which the likely do not.  Ben literally hand feeds the ladies conch salad and Kate loses her mind when she sees it. Oh Kate, go wash the clients’ thongs or something and make yourself useful.

Amy is so happy and it’s driving Kat crazy. Kate is a buzzkill. These guests are fun as hell. AND THERE IT IS! I called it. Kate says in her talking head that she is watching all of these  “California augmented women in the Forever 21 clothing reliving their glory years.”  I knew she was feeling tit inferior.  She should have had he sugar mama buy her some maybe she would be having an anniversary cruise on a yacht in the Caribbean with her husband and her best friends living the high life. Alas, she is the chambermaid. I hope they puke and she has to clean it up. Bitter? Party of one, your table is ready.

Andrew is up at six a.m. cleaning up from the huge party the night before. Andrew is busting his ass. At least in his version. Kelley calls him away to admonish him and some insults were exchanged. Or maybe they were all from Kelley. It’s hard to tell.  I get Captain Lee wanting Andrew to suffer but “making everyone his boss” might not have been the best idea.

On the way back in, Kelley gives Eddie an ultimatum. It’s Andrew or him. What’s with all the unprofessionalism this episode? It seems scripted and wrong. It’s tip time and everyone says that Andrew doesn’t deserve a penny. But Captain Lee doesn’t work that way. Besides, it’s KATE who doesn’t deserve a tip. Give hers to Amy.

Next Week:  We find out how the tips were divided. I already know. Captain Lee made the rule upfront. He won’t change his mind. Some playboy bunnies (?) and their wealthy um, dates(?) are the guests.  And Kate’s bitch face continues causing the guests to call her on it. So instead of the blanket shaped like an anchor she shapes it like a penis.  Also Captain makes a decision about Andrew.  But I don’t think he fires him. He IS the storyline right now.

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Bravo Tagged With: Adrienne Gang, Amy Johnson, Andrew Sturby, Below Deck, Below Deck Season 2, Ben Robinson, Bravo, British Virgin Islands, Captain Lee, Casting, Dave Bradberry, Eddie Lucas, Harold Lee Rosbach, Kat Held, Kate Chastain, Kelley Johnson, Lee Rosbach, New Cast, News Archive, Season 2

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. therealdeb says

    August 26, 2014 at 11:30 pm

    kate is a snatch. she is so jealous of these women and their lives it oozes from her skin. she just looks pissed all the time. her job is to kiss their asses and give them whatever they want. amy can be a bit perky but that is sort of what the job calls for. i love ben, i will always love ben. even when he is drunk and flirting with kat and talking crap about andrew. i feel for eddie, oh man i feel for eddie, he has his hands full. kelly seems to be a simmering pot about to blow.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      August 27, 2014 at 12:52 am

      I agree, Kate has aged out. She is too old for the job especially since she is so bitter over the guests. ​

      On Tue, Aug 26, 2014 at 11:30 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • buck henry says

        August 27, 2014 at 3:28 am

        Your exactly right, Kate has aged out and it shows. She wants to be on the other side as a guest. She even said so that she thought it would allow her to marry a rich guy. I hate to say this, but I get the escort feel from Kate Chastain.

        Reply
      • fivecatsownme says

        August 27, 2014 at 5:03 pm

        If Kate is looking for a rich husband, she better start being nicer ’cause she’s getting a bit long in the tooth to be a trophy wife. Bitterness and jealousy are not pretty.

        Reply
  2. tamaratattles says

    August 27, 2014 at 12:30 am

    http://www.bravotv.com/below-deck/season-2/blogs/captain-lee-rosbach/andrew-is-a-gift-that-keeps-on-giving?page=0,2

    Captain Lee seems more done with Kelley and Kate than Andrew!

    Reply
    • fivecatsownme says

      August 27, 2014 at 9:28 am

      Captain Lee is gorgeous. Andrew may be a stooge, but he is nice natured, and trying to learn. Kate can ruin the business. All it takes is one customer to complain about the service to a friend. The word will pass around quickly through the cocktail party circuit. Come on Kate, those customers are your paycheck. STFU and mix those mojitos with a smile. Grow some mint in a pot. Chervil tastes like licorice.

      Reply
    • Tasos826 says

      August 29, 2014 at 7:39 pm

      Capt. Lee has good cause to be fed up with Kelley and Kate, and less concerned about Andrew. As much a liar Andrew was, he had conscience enough to confess and character enough to attempt, in earnest, to redeem himself. Capt. Lee may have erred by trusting crew members to act as superiors to Andrew, especially I ally considering how Kelley and Jenner e are treating him, and how pompous and mean spirited Ben has been. The men *maturely* should have acknowledged Andrews wrongdoing, but also support his penanc.

      Kelley has quickly become a self-superior prick, and is proving to be a divisive source with his anti-Andrew crew politics and clear disrespect of the hierarchy he claims to defend (against greenhorn dope, Andrew), through he blatantly was far more disrespectful and divisive through delivering his ultimatum to Eddy… who should have gone to Capt. Lee for his endorsement to immediately terminate Kelley.

      While Kate is very capable of executing her duty above and beyond performance expectations, her pain about her aging may ultimately cause her termination, because she is expressing her pain through passive aggressive behavior via mixing drinks with sub par ingredients and serving them as she smiles, and then while she waits on guests, she says what is appropriate for a hostess to say (nothing more or less), as she smirks or sneers.

      The guests’ observations and feedback about Kate were accurate, their expectations of her fair and reasonable, though the lead guest should have quietly requested a discrete meeting with Eddie or Captain Lee to discuss the matter. No matter how valid their observation, the guests should not have confronted Kate about her demeanor (especially since she mixes their drinks).

      Reply
  3. tamaratattles says

    August 27, 2014 at 12:33 am

    Also if you like Below Deck, favorite and RT the Captain’s blog above. It’s no secret I like him and the show and doing so could help my chance at a season 3. They don’t get the drama of a RH show. the only way to show Bravo some love is through the Captain’s blog.

    Reply
    • therealdeb says

      August 27, 2014 at 1:37 am

      i love the show, i don’t do twitter though. i do facebook and i love catain lee. my brother captains yachts as well and he has never said about how crazy people are. i think he mostly works for the owners who just call him in when they want a trip and he goes between a group of owners. i know he has been given the gift of the use of it and the crew for he and his kids over chritmas a few years ago. that would have been fun.

      Reply
    • RealChicagoHousewife says

      August 27, 2014 at 2:26 pm

      Done! I enjoy watching the show. It’s a completely different slice of life. No boring recycled story lines like the RH series.

      Reply
    • catazure says

      August 27, 2014 at 11:44 pm

      I shared it on Twitter, is that enough?

      Reply
  4. RobinR says

    August 27, 2014 at 1:55 am

    Hopefully the guests got a freebie…………..I would hate to plunk out $100k and then have to watch the crew bitch about me and my friends……

    Reply
    • Shari Renee Kirshman says

      August 27, 2014 at 7:41 pm

      exactly i think the bitching and complaining and picking on the guests is bs, if they can afford it, they should be getting there asses kissed

      Reply
  5. Sick of "reality"! says

    August 27, 2014 at 5:59 am

    I never thought I would miss Adrienne. Kate desperately needs to get that stick out of her ass. There are lots of cracks in the china this season. Captain Lee will have his hands full keeping it together!

    Reply
  6. Ronnie says

    August 27, 2014 at 9:52 am

    Here is my thing…they don’t check refernces? Seriously…we all know they don’t . They thought Andrew was hot and so they hired him. The fact that th others are all bent outta shape because he has “no experience” please…last seasons guest didn’t have much either except Adriane, Ben, drunk Kat and Eddie and the wanna be Captian whats his face. Those that didn’t come back, especially that snotty girl who thought she was a NASA rocket scientist..no real experience.

    Hell I’m angry that old azz Kate is on the ship.I should have submitted my resume. I will serve piss in a glass with mint if that’s what they want….free cruise and great money for a few hours a day….come on…stop complaining..

    Reply
  7. Pam says

    August 27, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    I worked in the service industry most of my life – as a waitress, a cocktail waitress, a hostess and a nurse. If you choose that as a career path it goes without saying you will “serving” people – either food, drink or their health care. If you are good at any of them you have to want to meet their needs – with a need of your own to make things the best you can for them. Along with being a good nurse you need a willing spirit. You not only want to help heal their body but help the patient and their family navigate their way through their illness or injury. A sincere smile or a warm hand helps as much as their treatment. In a yacht setting the service offered there should also be done willingly and with a smile. You should be seeking ways to make their experience more fabulous than they can imagine. Kate needs to find a job filing papers or moving boxes in a warehouse until she improves her attitude and people skills.

    Reply
  8. Cat says

    August 27, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    As a true blue “Gilligan’s Island” fan, I want to see Andrew go away. Before he shipwrecks the show.

    Reply
  9. Shari Renee Kirshman says

    August 27, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    this is my new fave show, hated kate’s comment about the women reliving there glory days….omg so what, she is gonna do the exact same thing and i wish it was televised so we can see it when it happens…..if they can afford that vacay…let them do what they want……btw i googled ohana and it costs the charters $140,000 a week, there goes my dreams and yes kate is jelly!! love kat and ben!!

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      August 27, 2014 at 9:14 pm

      The guests get steep discounts for being filmed. they still had a super hard time getting guests for the show this season. ​

      On Wed, Aug 27, 2014 at 7:39 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • catazure says

        August 27, 2014 at 11:46 pm

        Heck, we’d do it! Husband and I have a group of friends with whom we celebrated our freedom from kids at home for several years before the grands arrived. All of the littles we expect have come so party time is here again 🙂

        Reply
      • Shari Renee Kirshman says

        August 28, 2014 at 7:39 pm

        i would so do it if i could afford it, it would be a trip of a lifetime

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          August 28, 2014 at 8:01 pm

          I don’t know that drinking and boats would go together well for me. Why has no one been seen puking the whole trip?​

          On Thu, Aug 28, 2014 at 7:39 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
  10. Karma Grant says

    August 28, 2014 at 8:19 am

    Must be an “Andrew” thing. Reading this about him lying about his resume made me think of Andrew on Flipping Out.

    Reply
  11. BH Wannabe says

    August 30, 2014 at 4:31 am

    Oh I LOOOOOVE Adrienne! BRING ADRIENNE BACK!!! I think Kate is pretty, but she seemed so enthused and creative in the first episode and now she’s just a jerk. I don’t really have a problem with Kelley–probably because I’m just so damn thankful that Sam and that ugly guy she’d hook up with are gone!!!

    Reply
  12. Glenn says

    September 23, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    Kate is awful but ageism is worse. “Aged out” and “too old for the job” when the Captain is supposedly gorgeous–why isn’t it the considered opinion that he has “aged out.” Ageism is one of the last acceptable prejudices. It is not unusual to live until 90 and someone who is 35 has aged out?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      September 23, 2014 at 11:56 pm

      Um Because Captain Lee is hot? But he is NOT going to like my next BD blog. #TEAM ADRIENNE!

      Reply

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