The ladies all arrive to the reunion in sweats without a drop of makeup on. They are filmed getting ready for the day. Heather Dubrow gets a haircut with a completely new style while she is preparing to go on national TV. It’s a good thing it came out all right. Vicki seems confident going in this season, which is a new feeling for her, but Andy will trip her up and let herself paint herself into a corner over a airheaded gay stereotype from the show. Heather is there for answers. Shannon’s plan is to stay Zen. Tamra says she never has a problem owning up to what she has done. I can’t decide if I think she believes herself or not.
Vicki’s boobs are ginormous! Are they new? Vicki says she is trying to buy Andales. I just found out that Vicki’s Mexican apartment is a time share. They actually had three time shares. In the divorce, the each took one and sold the other. Those have to be new boobs. They are way up high.
Lizzie dated Nick Lachey both before and after Jessica Simpson.
Andy asks Shannon about her saving a nation in a past life. She said that her holistic dentist consulted a panel of psychics and that’s what they said. That’s why he put the jewels in her teeth for free. He’s dead now. Shannon seems happy and at peace. At least for now.
We start with sort of a “shit they said” montage. Andy asks Vicki if she really thought feng shui was only for Asians. Vicki says she knew the concept was Asian but she learned it’s for Caucasians too! So it’s just the black folks it ain’t for? Then moments later she Vicki is asked what gay people look like? She misuses the term “gaydar” and tell Andy he doesn’t have “gaydar” either and that Andy is all boy to her. Oh Vicki.
Andy points out to Lizzie that last season Tamra called Alexis “Jesus Jugs” all season and this year she talks about her “Kentucky Fried Titties.” This seems like foreshadowing of Andy pointing out that Tamra’s horrible behavior is the same on every season. Or perhaps I am just hoping.
Tons of time wasted showing scenes of Tamra’s son and Vicki’s daughter moving away. Even more time wasted Skyping with Brianna and the babies. Vicki has been out to visit seven times in three months. Vicki gets a lot of hate mail from Oklahoma. Andy gives Vicki a chance to smooth things over, but instead she said Oklahoma sucks.
Andy asks if it is true that her house is for sale. She says it’s been on sale for the right price for some time. It’s a bit too big. Lots of time wasted replaying #Chairgate and #Bullgate Heather says she felt like Vicki and Tamra were ostracizing her from the group at the beginning of the season and she felt like she and Shannon would have been friends but she went to the other side. Heather is using that foundation to explain all of the crappy things she did this season. She regrets taking the chair back. I think that is the one thing she should have no regrets about. Heather apologizes and Shannon isn’t very receptive.
A viewer asks why Heather only singled out Shannon for being late to her party, the viewer says “to use one of your own words it seemed punitive…” Really? Why are so many people impressed that Heather has a least a tenth grade vocabulary? I’ve never seen Heather’s vocabulary as anything out of the ordinary, her condescension, yes, but her vocabulary?
Time for more Brooks and Vicki drama. Really? How many seasons now? Vicki says she is still seeing Brooks. There is the same old conversation between Vicki and Tamra about Brooks. Vicki says she knows herself and Brooks better than Tamra does. Tamra goes absolutely batshit crazy screaming, “That’s my opinion. How do you not get that other people besides you can have an opinion?” Shannon mutters, “And I yell?” Shannon says that she likes Brooks and he makes Vicki light up.
Terry and David now on the couches. David has lost 25-30lbs and Terry has lost 23 from working out. The email drama is the first subject. David doesn’t seem happy to be reliving it. More long flashbacks of the drama. The producers do know we watch the show, right? They truly have nothing better from the actual reunion?
David says he sent the email because sometimes it is a better way to think things out by writing it down. David said tears were streaming from his eyes when he was writing it.
Andy asks Shannon if she blames Tamra. Um, Andy? Who else should she blame? Shannon points out that Tamra likes to lie and say Shannon has a drinking problem when she is on TV more than once saying she couldn’t remember half the crap she did because she was drunk. Shannon says to Tamra, don’t talk to me about my drinking. Get her Shannon!
Tamra denies stirring the pot. Heather apologizes to Shannon for being rude to her and asking her to leave the house. Andy asks Terry if he thinks Heather did the right thing by asking Shannon to leave. Terry says he felt bad for Shannon but that he found it odd she is having horrible marital problems and he found it very odd and wondered, “Why is she in my house and not in her house talking to her husband about her marriage.” God I actually hate Terry Dubrow. He really makes me angry. Now Shannon is heated again.
Tamra says she thinks the “take the Beadors down” drama at Lizzie’s party was all planned. Shannon says, “There is the truth and there is the Goddamn truth.” Shannon says Tamra lies and makes stuff up. Tamra tries to act offended. “Tell me my lies, Shannon,” Tamra asks. Tamra swears that she never said the comment. Vicki tells Tamra she said it to her. Shannon has lost her zen and this is not even something that can be recapped. Tamra brings up Shannon’s drinking again and says that Shannon probably got something twisted. The old excuse was that Tamra was drunk and might have said it but she didn’t remember.
Now Terry is lying about the comment David made at #Bullgate. His last lie was he had just found out about it right before the Bali dinner at Vicki’s. Now he is saying he lost two months of sleep over it. He says David knew Terry was upset. David points out he found out the night before Vicki’s party. He apologized the next night at dinner. Heather and Terry say that the apology “felt grandstandy.” David tries to point out that the more honorable thing to do if you inflict an injury to someone in public is to apologize to the person in front of the people it was said in front of. But he doesn’t get to complete that thought, because housewife Terry has the floor. David said he apologized whether Terry accepted it or not. Welcome to the Dubrows, David. They suck at accepting apologizes.
Andy says then you called David a penis. David wins the line of the night by saying, “I think you were “scary angry” at that point.” And Terry says I was without really realizing he had just had his wife’s own words turned back on him. He is too busy trying to get his excuses for insulting construction workers out. Terry refuses to apologize for his behavior at Vicki’s party. In fact he is mad at Vicki for stirring the pot too. He implied that it was her interpretation of #Bullgate that pissed him off in the first place.
So we end with the Beadors who have apologized and accepted apologies and the Dubrows who give conditional apologies if they give them at all and accept apologies only to keep on demanding apologizes to be reoffered several times.