We start with Chyka and her husband Bruce on a romantic date at the beach. They go to a beautiful steak house overlooking the ocean. They are a really cute couple and seem really in love. Aw, Bruce rented out an entire amusement park for the two of them. It’s really a pretty little park. What a romantic date!
It’s Janet’s birthday. She has had her wedding rings melted down and made into a different ring. It still looks like an engagement ring, but it is really beautiful.
Jackie and Ben are working on a bottle cocktail line. Because, housewives. They had an artist paint a picture for the brand label. And then they totally obscured it with some painting technique with flowers dipped in paint. Jackie gave a hippy dippy narrative of what I jus witnessed. I’m not sure how this giant painting covered with randomly splashed paint and live flowers is going to become the brand label. I suppose they will photograph it?
Andrea and Jackie meeting Chyka and Janet for drinks. Andrea begins planting seeds with Jackie regarding Gina’s inappropriate behavior. Next Gina arrives. Is this Janet’s birthday party. Lydia went to her snow house and is missing the celebration. The cake looks amazing. It’s a real cake not the kind with all the fondant and froufrou crap. Andrea pulls Jackie aside and gossips about Gina again. I am not sure if Andrea is going to go in or if she is goading Jackie into doing it. Nope, it’s Andrea. She tells Gina she is too confrontational. Andrea says that she is bringing her court tactics into personal situations. Andrea telling Gina there is a time and a place for everything. Which is some advice she take herself. She is ruining Janet’s birthday party by attacking someone in the middle of a lovely get together.
The birthday girl and Gina retreat to the bathroom. Gina calls Lydia (to Janet) a cunt for telling all of her business to Jackie in the first place. Janet if the first one out of the bathroom. She’s irritated that the table conversation has not changed. When Gina comes out of the bathroom she shuts the conversation down. Well, at least the cake was delicious.
Janet has a limo waiting to take all the ladies to a night club called The Love Machine. It’s drag queen night so Gina should be quite comfortable. Janet’s first husband owns the club and her son runs it. Both of her husbands were night club owners. She did a bit of a stint as a party girl in her younger years. Janet points out how much in common Gina has with the drag queens. Ben was there and danced with Janet.
I am starting to really dislike Andrea. She is writing a book on parenting and having it all. Because, housewives. Andrea has a focus group with some working mothers to find out what they would want included in the book. Or that was the premise of the meeting. However, Andrea really just talked all about herself, and her checklists and how great she is. Andrea hands the women some of her checklists. They are pages and pages of outlining what needs to be done every second of the day in excruciating detail. The lists are for the nanny. Andrea herself does none of these things. Perhaps she greets her children should she accidentally cross pass with them if she is not too preoccupied.
The woman have yet been allowed to utter a word, yet their faces as they look at this OCD nanny guide are priceless. Ah, the first woman asks the question, “So this is for when you are not there, for the nannies?” Andreas says oh no the nannies do theses tasks where they are there or not. She says she requires the nannies to stay an extra hour after the kids are in bed to clean the kitchen. Andrea says this like it is some brilliant idea that makes her the best mum ever. One lady whispers to another, “I cook and clean.” The ladies begin to speak up and say that some of these things they might ask their housekeeper to do but the majority of them they do themselves. In the talking head Andrea says that is was clear that these women were just not organized. Actually, dear, they are organized. The work full-time and still manage to do all the things your nannies do. One lady says she doesn’t want her child raised by nannies. There is no point in having children if you are not going to be present in their lives. Andrea ends with ” The resounding message is, just read my book, see how I do it.”
Janet and Gina get together to chat about what happened at Janet’s birthday. It comes up that there was some sort of email sent by Gina to someone and Andrea was copied on the email. I have not idea what the email entailed. Janet says that Lydia is brainless and they don’t click. Why are these two bringing up an email without giving us the tea? It’s annoying.
Sigh. This feels like the Andrea episode. Jackie drops by Andrea’s to gossip. Andrea contends that Gina was talking to Janet about her book when they took to the bathroom at Janet’s party. They certainly didn’t air that. I got the vibe that Gina was more upset with Lydia than Andrea. Andrea called Gina and asked her if she was talking about her book. Gina said that she was talking about Lydia writing a book. Andrea doesn’t believe Gina because Lydia wasn’t even there. Well, no Andrea she was not. But she was the crux of Gina’s hurt feelings because Lydia was the one telling everyone Gina’s private business.
Andrea wants to have a tennis day at “her beautiful house on the peninsula” and she is going to invite Gina and hope for the best.
Lydia is back in town and shopping for art for her house. This is some of the most fucked up “art” I have ever seen. They can’t be serious. There are giant glitter animals with some sort of plain glitter matching canvas for the wall. The larger than life-sized brown glitter bear on its hind legs comes with a square canvas that is simply covered in the same brown glitter. It’s 75,000 (perhaps Australian dollars convert at pennies on the US dollar? The black panther lying on the floor covered in black glitter comes with a round canvas coated in black glitter for a mere 50,000. Lydia finds these prices to be “quite reasonable.” This has to be a joke. Lydia just said, “The artist named the panther after the Mona Lisa from the Louvre in London.” How do people this stupid have so much money? It boggles the mind. Lydia pretends like she is going to buy them both, but leaves with neither.
Gina goes shopping for a tennis outfit and a tennis shoe. She can’t bring herself to even try on a tennis shoe so she opts for just the tennis dress.
Janet takes Jackie to a huge charity event. Janet says it’s invitation only and “It’s a ladies lunch, so it is for ladies who lunch.” Yet the crowd is full of men and it’s actually a fashion show with lunch involved. Jackie found the whole thing a bit ridiculous. Afterward, Janet tells Jackie no one even mentioned Andre’s stupid book in the bathroom. In her talking head Janet says that she asked Gina what Lydia’s book is about and Gina replied, “Oh it’s a book about her vagina.” My question is why would Janet even mention a book to Andrea? Why would Janet even answer Andrea’s questions about her private conversation in a bathroom with Gina? Why?
Next week: It’s the tennis party. Gina is late and arrives in pink pumps. This doesn’t go over well with Andrea.
Last week my RHOMel post got exactly four comments. I’m getting the feeling you are not watching this show.
Im watching. I was hoping it would be more entertaining and less petty she said/she said but it appears to be the same as the US ones. At least the women are more glamorous and interesting.
I enjoy this show . Melbourne ladies appear to have a more affluent lifestyle .
Andrea’s a douche. Chyka is is my fav. On the fence with Jackie and Lydia. Janet seems harmless so far.
I really hate that its on at 12 in the afternoon, I always miss it! I keep forgetting to DVR it and they never show re-runs.. drives me crazy.
Yes Kate , I agree with you regarding showtime /
I thought I would love watching this and being able to comment about the show now that it’s airing in the US but I find that it’s hard to watch again since I’ve already seen the whole thing online when it first came out : (
I went to you tube but all the episodes have been removed.
Yeah I feel like I may ‘spoil’ some ‘storylines’ by commenting having seen the episodes.
It may come out later, but I believe the email was a legal warning to stop production from continuing to use Gina’s overseas relationship as a storyline. Gina cc’d the other ladies to let them know and they took it as a threat. The ex boyfriend is a lawyer also and did not care to be discussed on the show.
This. I love how the other ladies thought it was a threat when in reality, emails and letters like this are sent to production a lot on ‘reality’ shows.
Michael does it come out later the email was too production? Did they cut that from the US version? Does it ever come out on camera that is what it was?
On Mon, Aug 25, 2014 at 12:28 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yeah at some point it does. It is discussed at the reunion it’s pretty clear at that point it was a stern letter to production outlining that Gina’s bf didn’t sign onto the show so legally anything stated about him in a ‘defamatory’ nature will be taken seriously. And the other women were copied in the email for clarity but Andrea and Lydia freaked out thinking it was a legal threat to them personally.
I’m watching but have a hard time with thick accents. Love your posts,TT. Thank you for doing them!
I am watching as well. I keep hoping that I will become more engaged in the story lines but right now I’m feeling really indifferent about the whole show. I will keep watching and will keep reading your recaps. Some of these women are so over the top ‘nutso’ its entertainment in itself.
TT , my favorite Bravo now is Game of Crowns !
Tamra – keep watching and recapping please. I already watched the show when it first aired (I was overseas anyway), and honestly cannot go through this shit again.
RHOMel has the worst unrepentant villains of any Housewive franchise but also the most endearing heroine that sucks you in by the end.
I think in the next two episodes is where the show descends into madness. Can’t stomach it twice.
Wow , interesting.
I’m watching too but can’t help wondering where the Aussie gentlemen have gone. They were so excited to get our take on these ladies. And I believe it was Micheal that correctly hinted who the shit stirrers are. I love Gina and want to introduce Andrea to Barney-Judge.
So totally watching!! In fact this is my first comment just to make sure you do not stop blogging about this show because your recaps are amazeballs!
Sorry TT, I haven’t seen the latest episode but, after reading your recap, I can’t wait to see it. Please keep reviewing! I agree with the previous commenter that the 12:00PM Sunday EST time slot is difficult to fit into schedule. Sundays run away. at least with me.
My opinion on these women, for what it’s worth: Lydia and Andrea are pretentious and dislikeable. Jackie is immature and completely over-dramatic. Chyka is enviable and fabulous. Janet is sad to me. She is very American housewife-ish in that she places an inordinate amount of time and effort into staying visably young. It looks like she’s had quite a bit of plastic surgery. Even though she’s a beautiful woman with a great body, she feels insecure and that’s sad to me. With that said, I like her a lot. Last, but not least, Gina…she is the star, IMO. And it feels wonderful to have a strong, beautiful, successful woman stand by her principles (at least so far) and also be strong enough to fight for them, be a great friend, and have a career. Gina and Chyka are my faves. Then Janet, Jackie, Andrea and Lydia in that order. Lydia is the bottom of the barrel in my estimation.
How do others rank these women?
Gina and Chyka are my favourites. I have a lot less sympathy for Janet. She blows with the wind too much for my tastes. By that I mean she will gossip about Gina with Andrea and then Andrea with Gina. It’s hard to tell what will come out of her mouth so how can you trust her? I hate Andrea, and Lydia and Jackie have their moments too.
I agree. Gina and Chyka are my favorites. I really dislike Andrea the most. I can’t relate to her as a mother and she is nobody I would ever be friends with. I feel really sorry for her children bc she seems to Bennett spend time with them and by the looks of her list of things for the baby to do the nanny doesn’t get to spend time with the children either. Her book is going to be a joke! Nobody with any love for their children will take her advice!
Oops. I meant to say she never spends time with them and with the list for the nannys to do….My smart phone is so stupid!
I actually think that with all the twitter backlash against Andrea in Australia she decided to ditch the book idea, which is probably code for she lost her book deal.
So far my fav is Chyka and Janet. Gina has got to be the most over the top HW in recent history. She looks very much like a Jersey girl out of the 80’s; Big hair, Big jewelry (which looks like it’s from the Dollar store) fake tan, fake eyelashes, make up from David Bowie’s Ziggy Star Dust LP, Ewwww. Jackie is too immature. She says her hubby looks like Johnny Depp? Seriously? She must need glasses. Janet – as someone already said, she’s sad, so like a lot of American older women who have lost their husbands to 20 – somethings. Lydia is a non-starter for me. There’s something odd about her, can’t put my finger on it yet. Her hubby was a bit condescending in the plane on the way to the place where the cheese shop is. Andrea, just odd….between gossiping and confronting Gina in public, just poor judgement, and manners. I’ve watched all but the last one. Not going to watch the last one either. Silly women with little to help the franchise.
Is anyone else really happy that Tamara is no longer a fan of Andrea’s? I knew I wasn’t wrong to be ride or die with you. 🙂
Spoiler!!!!
Andrea didn’t return for season 2. I suspected this would happen. She was pissed at production for ‘trashing’ her book and Gina didn’t want to film with her so bye bye Andrea. Two new ladies have signed on, an art dealer and property developer I’ve never heard of. That isn’t an indictment on the two new ladies as I rarely leave my Southbank ivory tower anyhow.
Janet is that friend that will always remember your birthday and call you at least once a month to get together and catch up, yet when it really matters doe eyes and busy.
Ok I might be projecting a bit, but I think that people like Janet are dangerous, all sweet, thoughtful and kind on the surface daring you to trust them, and then they turn around and betray you.
“………I’m not sure how this giant painting covered with randomly splashed paint and live flowers is going to become the brand label. I suppose they will photograph it?…..” Better yet, just put a snapshot of the look on the artist’s face once his painting had been completely annihilated by Jackie. Poor fellow. kh
Jackie ruined that lovely painting. Smh. You’re right the artist’s face fell when he saw what they did to it. You could barely see the image after they go done. It’s too bad to because I thought the painting alone would have been a nice label.
The rock tards want the credit for the label art. Apparently, they have no talent so hired artist, then childishly defaced it to become their own work. Such an insecure couple. He is a little toad, she ls star struck, possibly operating with a concussion.
I’m liking the show so far. Andrea is pathetic and I don’t like her at all. First, who rights a book about parenting when her message is delegate ALL responsibility to a nanny? How is that realistic or even helpful to actually working moms who cannot afford full time help. Second, I can’t stand Andrea (maybe this should have been first) because of what she named her children. I’m waiting on them to develop a drinking problem. Third, she seems so insecure. It seems like she gets her self-worth from her husband and his career and is jealous of someone like Gina who stands on her own. Gina’s her own person with a strong sense of self and I think that is very threatening who lives in someone else’s shadow.
I’m liking the show. Not a good time slot. I love Jackie the psychic! I agree with all, Andreas book is a joke. I don’t like Gina! She needs a stylist ASAP!
I served a bottle of Grey Goose this weekend to some guys from Melbourne. A few of them knew some of the ladies. One told me in Melbourne they all laugh that none of them are as they seem on the show and people in particular hate Gina. (I asked a few questions to be sure they meant Gina since from here it seems a lot of people are fans.) This one guy told me she is actually married and her husband has 400 homes in the US. Idk what to make of that??? PS I’m on the “I hate Andrea” bandwagon…
Keep watching and blogging. We are also watching on Previously.TV. The art thing was hilarious. The Andrea scold session was so unselfaware. Loving this ridiculous show!
I am watching. Used to think I loved the Australian accent. Must be that’s when it is my favorite men speaking, such as Hugh Jackman. When I hear these women talking in a group it strangely annoys me and almost sounds coarse. I must have a quirky ear.
Why does Ben have to be on every episode? Oh yeah, the other men are probably at their work. Jackie is just too overtly pleased with herself and her little “rock star”, I gag when she keeps reminding us. What is she, anything except a part time self declared psychic? How did she wrangle herself onto this show I wonder. She doesn’t seem to know anyone, apparently just showed up in town wanting to be seen.
I love that Gina doesn’t try to conform and just keeps her over the top style. It suits her. Janet seems like a flip flopper, depends on who she is with is how her opinion blows. I think she looks older than 55 around her eyes. I guess the plastic surgeon missed some spots. I agree with opinions here about Andrea and Lydia. Chyka is so nice. I hope she turns out to be as she appears to be
I am glad Micheal cleared up the email mystery. That seemed to be something that might have had some substance for discussion or story instead of the trivial crap they have been pissy about. Then, they just dropped it. I like any inside scoop on the show. We are so far removed for Tamara to have her good sources, I am glad for volunteers.
Women like Andrea use their children like accessories. Might as well name them Birkin, Manolo, Leboutin…show them off then put them away with the nanny.
Andrea is a sad excuse for a woman. She loves to brag about her wealth and that book of hers was horrible. She ignored the other working moms ccompletely. She is a horrible conceited woman and although Gina has her faults she makes Andrea look like a stupid spoiled child. Lydia causes problems and is the biggest gossip. Janet is not helping although I like her for now. She is going to look like Lydia it she’s not careful. Jackie is crazy fun, a litlle hippie and out there but Ok. Chyka is the best of the bunch. Please get rid of Andrea, she needs to go. Gina is great. Someone with class knows to pull someone to the side if they have a problem with someone. As noted earlier.. some of these women (I. e. Andrea specifically is an asshole, Lydia is a background one).