Forgive my while I take this 30 minute fun break from all the drama. I would first like to point out that Kim Biermann doesn’t know what nipples are. In the flashback to previous episodes part of the intro, Kim is tell her friend Jenn that her nipples are really going to get big, like pancakes. Then, she makes a circle with her fingers and holds it up to her boob to demonstrate. What sort of woman, let alone one with some sort of nursing training doesn’t know the difference between and areola and a nipple? Sheesh.
This week’s episode is focused on getting Lana a man. Kim asks about how her recent date went. Lana says, “First of all I wanted to leave right away. He took his teeth out and wanted to kiss me.” OMG this is not motivating me to get back out there, at all. Poor Lana.
Kim has a baby shower for Jen. It’s funny. Kim is giving Jen the placenta lady who will put her placenta in pill form. Which is what Kim really did. That whole green drink was a joke. It was, right? RIGHT? Jen’s baby is gorgeous. Lo and behold the placenta smoothie lady arrives. Maybe they do the shake and the placenta? Actually, can we not speak about this ever again? Thanks.
Shun and Kim give Lana a makeup. Shun does not know how to brush hair. Sweetie joins in the makeup fest. Lana looks great. Kroy’s contribution to this mission is an earwig for Lana to wear at the bar. Kim is going to be telling her what to say and do in her ear when she is trying to pick up a man.
When talking to the first guy, she orders a huge margarita and is very shy. She doesn’t like that guy. She tries a second time but he is married. Then she has a third target. She is really drunk. Lana says she is too drunk to watch the boys tonight. Kim says she knows. Lana keeps picking Kim up (literally) in the bathroom. The kind of pick-up she wants is not going very well.
Guy number three looks very familiar to me. He says he is from California. I don’t know if I know him from somewhere locally or maybe he’s a hired actor. Lana is super drunk, so she violates Kim’s no shot rule and orders a round of shots. Now Kim and Kroy are tipsy. They all call Brielle to come pick them up. On the way home Kim and Kroy make out and Kroy has a lip full of dip. EWWWW! Oh and Lana pukes.
Next Week: It’s THE CAMPING TRIP! It’s like Wife Swap and next week it’s Kroy’s Rules!