Well this has certainly been a long dramatic week. So much turmoil in the world, in the US, and on the Internet. Let’s hope that this episode of RHONJ will be a little big less emotional. Can I just throw this out there about Amber’s hair before we get started? If she had chemo and lost all of her hair five years ago, there is no way that is her actual hair. Yet, for some reason she keeps insisting that it is. Wouldn’t it play into her cancer victim routine much better to just admit she has five pounds of extensions on her head? Does she really think she is fooling anyone?
Joe and Melissa go to the high-end car dealership because, promotional deal. The storyline is even stupider than usual. They want to have the garbage truck custom painted. The garbage truck. It’s not pretty enough. The garbage truck. Seriously? Just when I am already pissed off by Melissa’s ridiculous environmental speech the high-end dealership that customizes GARBAGE TRUCKS points out that Melissa drives a Bentley which is hardly good for the environment and gets eight miles a gallon. Did I mention the storyline is the Bentley dealer is going to paint their GARBAGE truck, because I can’t seem to stress the stupidity of this enough. In fact we may have actually reached the nadir of stupidity. This scene may go down in history of the very moment the Real Housewives franchise jumped the shark forever. Right here. In this moment.
Oh look, it’s Amber. They are debuting their stupid commercial. It’s not the one below, but a they are all equally annoying.
Ugh. Do I have to mention she is making cookies with the kids in the shapes of dollar signs and houses for the big reveal. From the looks of things, I don’t think she had the ingredienceses for cookies.
The twins, Melissa, Kathy and Rosie go out to dinner with their significant others at Rino’s Brooklyn restaurant. Because Rino’s Brooklyn restaurant has not been featured yet. Melissa and the twins talk about the animosity between Nicole and Amber. Melissa says she wants out of the middle of it all. Melissa has stirred the pot and is now stepping away. Oh Teresa and Joe and Dina arrive. Rosie has a girlfriend named Ellen. They met last season on the take Rosie out to get her laid episode. Everyone talks about how they met, and when they met. Tre, Dina and Juicy didn’t say one word the entire scene.
Nicole is a jet broker. She books jets for CEOs and other rich people. That looks like a fun job. Nicole calls Amber and says she wants to talk and clear the air. Amber is argumentative on the phone.
Now it is time for the heartwarming Giudice family scenes where we try to believe they are decent people and not a couple of felons. This is of course done with lovely interactions with the poor girls. Gia is turning 13. (Did you just calculate in your head how old she will be when mommy and daddy get out of prison? I knew that you did.) Gia is not feeling this scene. In the next Felons by Bravo scene, Teresa points out that Gia did not want a party this year. Teresa also wants us to know that she will no longer be doing over the top spending on her children. Money is not what is important. Then Teresa gives Gis a huge diamond ring. She says it was passed down from her mother. Oh really? Didn’t we just see a retrospective of flashback pictures of Teresa’s humble beginnings with her parents? Didn’t we have several seasons where Teresa and Joe Gorga argued over who was not financially supporting the parents enough? Sorry Tre, that ring will be auctioned off. Nice try though. It would have been smarter not to do it on camera. Last year, Tre rented out a huge space and had a very fancy party.
Rhino and TwinTre go to look at a brand new restaurant property for their kid. Because despite owning two successful restaurants already, they think giving a recent high school graduate his own restaurant is a grand idea. It seems more like their idea than his. He is just learning to drive and seems unsure he is actually going to graduate. He is WAY too young and inexperienced to have his own restaurant.
Melissa and Joe go to the plant and the scientist explains how the incineration of their special trash causes heat that generates power. Unfortunately, Melissa has no idea about the business and she will be the sales rep and face of the company. This sounds well thought out.
Dina is helping Theresa build a vision board. Because Theresa is starting to get that ole time jail house religion. She tells Dina that she is not into material things and just wants health. Proving once again that God does not exist, or perhaps has himself evolved from his vengeful old testament ways, no lightning bolts strike. Teresa is looking for a new house to buy, because she is about to have hers taken by the feds.
And finally the head to head between Amber and Nicole. Amber says that Jim calls Nicole as Shakespearean tragedy. She finds that very clever and brought it up on WWHL while trying to play a simple word association game. Jim the weasel waits for her in the car. They meet at an Italian pastry shop. I wish I had something sweet.
Amber says that she heard Nicole was dating a married man. Nicole says Amber is angry and she is the one spreading vicious rumor. Nicole says she is the one being gossiped about and Amber is still angry and attacking her while saying she did not act in a malicious manner. Amber seems to be very malicious toward Nicole right now. And in the talking heads, she trashed Bobby. Amber does says she is sorry. I’m shocked. It seems like Nicole is giving Amber a second chance. I doubt this will last.
Next week looks interesting. How long to you think the truce between Nicole and Amber will last?