Amber’s RHONJ blog is up and she has shifted her attitude from anger to victim. She’s turning into the RHONJ version of Tamra Barney. That’s quite the feat this early in her first (and probably last) season. Her blog was super long and repetitive. She and Jim both attempt to use words they really don’t understand in ways that are almost but just not quite correct. Anyway, here is some much needed laughs given the depressing nature of all the news I have been reporting on…
Amber still blames Nicole for the chain of events and implies that she really is a homewrecker:
Nicole says she wanted an apology. Hmm, well, I would have loved a chance to apologize, however she acted like a lunatic right off the bat. Nicole wanted a scene, not an apology. She made sure everyone was there, which kind of makes you think she planned it all along. We are all human, we all make mistakes, but we cannot go around attacking every person that speaks about our mistakes. I could have told her who was telling me the rumor and we could have dealt with it together. The fact that Nicole escalated the situation like that is just disgusting to me. She could have talked to me. I would have heard her side of it, and she would have gotten an apology out of me for not coming to her first. Maybe she reacted that way because she had no intention of just dispelling a rumor. Maybe there is more to it, and the reaction was a distraction from the truth…apparently, it is working.
Amber is angry that the girls ganged up on her henpecked husband:
Then the circus goes on further when Dina, Melissa, and Kathy all decide to lay into him about bowling night too! Did I miss the memo on how bowling night is considered sacred in these parts? My husband is trying to talk to Teresa and help her understand what it means to have a professional “conflict of interest” and that he is not being judgmental towards her or her family, yet Melissa, Dina, and Kathy think it is best to butt in. These women have never spoken to my husband; apparently, they thought ganging up on him was the best solution. Remember, we went to a party at Jim’s best friend’s house. Jim never met these people. Well, I got ganged up on, my hair pulled out, a drink in the face, and then strangers are giving my husband crap about bowling. And what was Bobby doing? He was playing games with our keys for an hour instead of getting us the hell out of there or telling anyone, “Hey, back off, these are my friends!”
Amber’s thoughts on Gina calling Jim out for his douchebaggery:
Also, if you ask an aggressive question three times in a posse and still do not understand the answer, don’t be surprised when the tone changes. It drives me nuts when a woman behaves in a nasty manner towards a man, then when they argue back they throw their hands up in the air and say, “I’m a woman, don’t speak to me that way!”. If you are going toe to toe with someone, then do just that. By the way, how do you know how big a whale’s vagina is? On second thought, do not answer that!
And finally, Amber wants you to know she enjoys Jim’s Penis:
And no, Joe, insecurity is when you hear a rumor and go ape sh– on someone for it. Or you need to get aggressive to prove you’re tough. What I was doing was defending myself after being given no explanation as to why everyone was ganging up on me. Joe, you should realize that disputes can be resolved with simple communication at the right time. Last point, the Joes need to stop talking about my husband’s height, since they are shorter than him. And, everyone needs to most definitely stop talking about my husband’s penis. After three strong boys and a beautiful little girl, trust me, faculties are marvelous.
Thanks! I had forgotten all about Amber.
So…She doesn’t think telling these women that none of them have an IQ above 12 is judgemental? Have they not heard of the importance of “first impressions”?
Normally, when people meet another group of people for the first time, they are on their best behavior…aren’t they? I’d hate to see Amber and her cocktail weenie husband after they get to know everyone!
Lol @ cocktail weenie!
Is he her little pig in a blanket?
Haha
HIS COCKTIAL WEENIE HAS ALL OF ITS FACULTIES, CAT! Gawd.
/giggles
On Fri, Aug 15, 2014 at 4:22 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Yep. #LittleSmokie 🙂
So I was right. He does do all of his thinking with his “cocktail weenie” since that appears to be where his brain is based on his wife’s statement. Bet he doesn’t even realize nor does she for that matter that she called him basically a dickhead lmao.
Oh sorry thedisher and Dracla Dunning. Said basically the same as you. Hadn’t read down that far yet. Just posted because I got so tickled.
She’s easy to forget.
I get it. I so get it now after reading Amber’s blog. Amber and Jim were just trying to protect Joe, Teresa & even Nicole. I don’t know how the entire world could come to a different conclusion. We are all being tricked by our own lying eyes and ears. I can’t believe they are being victimized by everyone. Thank Jesus that Jim’s “faculties” LOL are marvelous. The “faculties” in his groin seem to be operating at about the same level as those above the neck. Andy Cohen: please kick them off the show now. Don’t wait.
Now don’t go making light of Jim’s ” faculties”. Is there more than one? As a viewing public we have had the honor of being introduced to the first man on earth whose weiner can either think or teach.
I have to admit that I have never heard a man’s schlort and sacs being referred to as “faculties”. Learn something new every day.
Amber is a professional victim. Seems like The Cancer was the high point of her life.
Ugh.
Amber is filling the “housewife I love to hate” role. There were stories about her before the show aired about how she was willing to do anything for the show, and so far so good. This kind of chick is made for “reality” TV. She really doesn’t seem to care about whether she is embarrassing herself or her family, and does what is needed to make sure there’s drama. Between Amber and the twins, there is plenty to gossip about with my girlfriends. They all choose to act like maniacs for a bit of fame and I am enjoying their antics, so far.
I think that Amber’s issues are JUST GETTING STARTED. Dina and Tre were the sacrificial lambs to film with her after this and lets just say.. they can’t deal with her either.
On Fri, Aug 15, 2014 at 5:35 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
There must be something toxic seeping into the water supply making all these idiots delusional.
You may be right about the water – they are still fighting & throwing names on twitter…
“The Amber” (I enjoy putting The in front of everything now) states that these people had never met or spoken to The cocktail weenie. Didn’t all of the girl’s go to THE Harvest party? Which was shown before The First Responder’s party? I know The Joe’s hadn’t until then…Did I read into that wrong?
GANGING UP ON HER??? LOOKS LIKE MORE THAN 80% OF ANDY’S VIEWERS GANGED UP ON HER AS WELL. SNIFFLE, SNIFF SNIFF.
You can tug on Superman’ s cape, you can spit in the wind, you can tear the mask of the old Lone Ranger, but you don’t mess around with Jim. He will sue you. He will make you his bitch. He will make your life a living hell tied up in the court system. He will leverage you house. I do not think the late great Jim Croce envisioned a little cocktail senior with glasses married to a whiney dominatrix.
Cocktail weinie
I love a good villain. Danielle staub season 1 but this chick gets on my nerves. How her entire storyline and probably life evolves around her survival of cancer and her sub par saved by the bell hair flip makes me wish for nuts just so I could punch myself in them when she comes on the screen. Her husband has the little man syndrome business edition 1.0. Who wants the world to think his job is more than it is and he is the Clark Kent of the bank world. Looking forward to reunion though, can’t wait to see them get put in their place
Having watched RHONJ since the beginning, I have a feeling that there is something more behind the introduction of Amber to the group. I think it may be time for the big take down of Melissa this season. Sometimes it seems as if Bravo enjoys building up a certain Housewife, opening all sorts of opportunities to them; book deals, product endorsements, recording deals, and then meticulously setting them up for a fall. Amber knows so much about Melissa’s past that Melissa has cautiously guarded from being revealed. And Amber does love to talk. I think that is why Melissa is trying to cause trouble for Amber right at the beginning. She wants to implant the idea that Amber has no credibility in the minds of the other Housewives. So far she is doing a good job at that.
I have a bit of a different take on what happened with Jim when he was talking to Teresa, Dina, and Melissa: I thought, in his smarmy way, he was alluding to the fact that since he works in the prosecutor’s office in mortgage fraud cases, and Joe and Teresa have committed fraud, that it could be perceived as bribery or some sort of misconduct on Teresa’s and Joe’s part if they were repeatedly out socializing with him.
Not sure yet about any of the three new Housewives, but I certainly don’t see any value in Dina’s return. I never cared for her in past seasons and I don’t think I will revise that opinion this time around. I much preferred Kathy Wakile.
I don’t think that’s a different take you have there – that was what Jim was saying. The issue Dina, Teresa and Melissa were having was why is it ok for him to socialize at the party but not at the bowling alley.
And his ex wife was convicted of mortgage fraud. This guys a shady one…as if we didn’t already know.
KB, thanks for giving me that insight on Jim. I live on the opposite coast and we don’t hear much about things that are well known in New Jersey. That’s one reason why I enjoy watching the various Housewives series. A glimpse of what passes for daily life in other parts of the country is so interesting. I realize most women don’t have that manic sort of drama going on in real life, but setting aside all the shenanigans, I can still see a bit of their lifestyles. I find the interaction among the Housewives quite a character study. It’s fascinating how each of these once unknown women handle the notoriety that comes along with so called reality programs.
Having been in the mortgage industry in NJ for over 20 years before it crashed, it cracks me up how this self important little rooster thinks he is a “bank” trading “mortgage backed securities”. What a white washing bunch of happy horseshit… He is a mortgage broker, plain & sleazy! And as the ex-wife of the former prosecutor this wannabe has NOTHING to do w/ prosecuting anyone. As @KB says above the ONLY way that happens if is you are caught doing something fishy & suddenly you become a “Cooperating” witness. What a whiny loser.
Imagine being so delusional that you write a blog defending your Napoleon complex hubby’s height, attitude and PENIS SIZE! So pathetic and typical of a “victim!”