And I am going to need someone to tell me who won the pressure challenge on Masterchef. Because without fail something happens on Mondays during Masterchef and I have two shows that tape at 9 and I miss the ending. Please tell me it was Lesley. Thanks.
Love the lobby furniture of this Bali resort. Currently Vicki, Tamra and Heather are sitting there allegedly waiting for the other girls. Tamra is wearing her sunglasses inside. Heather asked her why she is mad at her and she says because she never made fun of Lizzie’s dress. Seriously. Why is #BirthdayGate still a thing? Most women over 25 don’t even want to acknowledge their birthdays. Heather is dumbfounded because she said it privately to Tamra and Vicki and not in front of Lizzie. Tamra is accusing Heather of being a shit-stirrer. I am constantly amazed at how often Tamra accuses other people of things that she does ALL OF THE TIME! Tamra is apparently hungover and more bitchy that usual so this whole hiking with monkeys thing should go well.
Shannon, Lizzie and Pam are all dressed appropriately for the outing while Heather is sticking to her chic black and white elegance wardrobe and the Vicki and Tamra are dressed for a shopping trip. Apparently, half the girls were told to dress for a hike and the other half were told to dress for a visit to a temple. Oh production, you scoundrels you. They are all hoping they don’t have to see any poverty, because poor people are so depressing and poorly dressed.
First, they arrive at a temple where they are immediately given beautiful batik fabrics to cover their asses. Vicki and Tamra proceed to denigrate the entire experience by just being themselves. I honestly can’t grasp how Tamra can’t see the beauty she was surrounded by. It’s kind of heartbreaking to think of someone going through life like that. 
I loved that they showed them shopping for souvenirs. They never show that. Is Vicki really the only one who knew how to barter? To counterbalance her slight edge in shopping, she does call all of the items for sale, crap. Time for the fish pedicure. I want to do this so badly. I think a lot of US places have outlawed the practice. Pity. The locals in shop got a huge laugh from this crew. And Tamra once again points out that it was a waste of time and money. Because, downer.
At the monkey fondling place, Heather turns out not to be so fancypants after all and she lets the nasty monkeys climb all over her. I do not want to do that. Shannon feeds a monkey too. Why is it necessary to let the monkey’s climb the length of your body for a banana? This is grossing me out. These are wild animals that you are letting crawl right up to your FACE!. I’m itchy just watching this. #fleas Vicki and Tamra run off, which is great because now the rest of the girls can enjoy the hike in peace. The scenery is amazing, monkeys and all. I would love all of it except the monkeys actually touching me. Remember when Dave Letterman would ask people, “Did you see or touch any monkeys?” I always ask people this when they return from trips. I’m mostly met with blank stares. I think it’s funny.
The ladies all get together by the pool. Heather was chastised by the hotel for strolling through the lobby in a bikini. Vicki and Shannon are chosen to be the recipients of every single treatment in the spa. Heather and Tamra go bike riding. It’s all about advertising every possible amenity at the resort. And I’m loving them all. Lizzie and Pam hang out in a private cabana.
When Vicki and Shannon hook back up with Lizzie and Pam at the cabana, they all tell her that Tamra is still trash talking Brooks. Vicki cries. Meanwhile Tamra and Heather are still biking around Bali. Heather says she didn’t come half way around the world to go to a spa. She wants to experience Bali! YAY! Heather gets it. That said, spas in foreign countries are kind of interesting. I went to one in Romania and it wasn’t particularly fun or relaxing but it was very odd. I can’t remember why. In the cabana the plan to confront Tamra has been hatched.
The male Balinese dancers were fascinating. At dinner, Vicki is seething and keeps looking a Tamra for signs of a human being. It seems she realizes that there is no sign of a compassionate being there at all. The champagne is taking forever and everyone needs a drink. There is an eerie silence lingering over the table with weird music dubbed in by Bravo. Shit’s about to go DOWN.
Out of nowhere, Heather gives Shannon a lovely and believably heartfelt apology. Shannon graciously accepts. It was a lovely moment. But Heather can’t just let it go. She has to continue on and say that Terry is very upset at David over #BullGate. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That was months and months ago! Why bring it up now when things are going so well and the two of you have been civil and polite for a week? Shannon says David sometimes says inappropriate things when drinking.
Tamra keeps trying to get Vicki to tell her what is wrong. Tamra goes to the bathroom, (AKA gets called over to production to be set up) and Vicki tells Heather what is going on. When she comes back, Shannon very quietly asks Tamra why she says that she has green Martians living in her head and that she needs to be on medication. Tamra rocks back in her chair and says, “Well, that was taken out of contents (sic).” Tamra denies ever saying anything. She does not order food. She seems drunk. Vicki doesn’t back Shannon up. The others do. Tamra is lying straight to Shannon’s face. But then Lizzie informs Tamra that he memory sucks when she drinks. She never said Tamra’s husband wants to fuck her, she said marry. Tamra goes ballistic and starts screaming that Lizzie is a liar. There she goes again with that projecting. Pam suddenly has a voice and an opinion and Tamra responds to her with, “now I know why nobody likes you!” Um, who doesn’t like Pam? She’s very pretty and quiet and never gets in the gutter with anyone. That’s all anyone knows about her. Where is that comment coming from? Oh, right projection. Heather says that she and Terry both heard Lizzie say fuck. Back at the table, Lizzie tells Tamra she is crap and the most insecure person she has ever met and tells Tamra to get it together. This sent Tamra into a frenzy literally running and screaming through the resort says they will never see her face again and they are all liars. Fuck you guys!
Vicki has been amazingly calm. As soon as Tamra leaves she starts crying and Heather goes over to comfort her. Shannon tells Heather that Tamra told her that she and Heather were not that close and she was in her wedding but it wasn’t real. Of course not. Tamra just needed someone who was willing to stand next to her. Tamra also said that Heather is anorexic. Heather is now upset with Tamra too. But she goes to see Tamra to fact check. Tamra says that Lizzie is making up shit. But now she is talking about what Shannon said. Everyone is lying except Tamra.
Next week: Is the finale. Thank the baby Jesus.
Yes Lesley won the pressure test.
It was very emotional. Too bad your DVR cut off. He was a class act when the 18 year old girl was cut.
Thanks little birdie! Lesley gets no respect on that show, lol.
On Mon, Aug 11, 2014 at 10:40 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Sorry, but they are all lying. Lizzie is like a child, spreading stupid rumors about Tamara because she didn’t go to Lizzie’s party. Guess what, Lizzie, none of the girls came to your party and apparently, Vicky was 2 hours late. Before getting on the bus, she called you and your friend dumb and dumber. Vicky is a big shit stirrer and is as guilty of making fun of everyone onhe show as Tamara. BY the way, Heather confirms that Lizzie said she wanted to fuck Eddie. I think that’s pretty low myself. So Tamara wasn’t lying about that. It seems Lizzie is such a douche that she wants to punish Tamara for not coming to her pathetic bus limo party. At the end of the show, Shannon tells Vicky NOT to feel bad for Tamara because Tamara told Brianna stuff about Brooks that ruined Vicky’s relationship with Brianna. Really, Vicky. Really Shannon. Brooks is a creep with a shady past who left his wife and four kids. Brianna found out that Vicky and Brooks were having an affair while Vicky was still married to Don. I still think Shannon is mentally ill.
Even though Tamara is a bitch, this gang bang on Tamara was a set up by production and/or Andy.
I agree Lizzie is not miss innocent
The way I see it, Tamra’s been lying, spinning things on people, and been the ringleader of plenty of group attacks for years. This is her karma, whether there was some embellishment on the other girl’s part or not.
I was hoping that the entire table was going to stand up and clap as she ran out of there ala Alexis at Cut Fitness dinner.
Co-sign! She talks about all of them, or maybe she was joking about them and they dont’ understand Tamra? Nah, she is vicious and ran off after she was captured. And she is insecure..she will never claim making stuff up about all of them. Remember she was just stirring up trouble to keep the show interesting. Or maybe she is being her real self.
Totally agree PD! Though Heather outed Lizzie about the Eddie/fuck comment, I was like “finally!” when Lizzie read Tamra the riot act about how insecure and ridiculous she is at the dinner. Go Lizzie!
And just when I was trying to like Vicki again, she had to go and act a fool on this vacation. The fake crying? Sit your dumb ass down! Being condescendingly disrespectful inside the Temple? It’s like 7 year old who forgot to take their ADHD medication. Screeching like a schoolgirl in the van? They need to transport that mouth on the special bus! There isn’t enough money to pay me to go on vacation with that dingbat!
TamAra = our esteemed blogger.
TamRA = the lying bitch on RHOC.
Of course it was set up by production…like every other storyline on the show! That doesn’t make Tamra any less of a liar, shit-stirrer, and all-around twat waffle.
It doesn’t make Lizzie any less of a shit stirrer either. She is grossly immature. We saw a scene of her on the bus where she is ugly drunk and tells her hubby to get a boner once a week. She is a certified bitch and a liar as well as Vicky. We all know Tamara’s a bitch but she didn’t deserve all this hate this season. Shannon is delusional and needs psychiatric help, not some fake homeopathic healer. She could use a couple of Xanax too.
“Twat waffle”. I just can’t hear that phrase enough. It makes me laugh every time. 😀
I don’t think Lizzie said she wanted to fuck Eddie. Am I remembering this wrong?
I don’t think they showed it but I think Lizzie is a trashy liar. The way she talked to her husband on camera was disgusting.
It’s one thing to stir up problems with fellow cast mates who are not real friends but to talk like that to your husband while cameras are filming is repulsive.
the marry shag kill game is on the cuttingroom floor. I hope we get to see it in the lost footage episode.
On Mon, Aug 11, 2014 at 11:13 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’m in awe. Is this the new ‘Birthers’? People who think Tamra doesn’t deserve the hate?
i’m right there with you. tamra makes me laugh sometimes, but she definitely deserves what she is getting – she has been the one dishing it out for years.
I thought the same thing about Lizzie being the one who lied about the marry vs shag comment, BUT, Heather has been caught in blatant lies multiple times this season, whether is was about Shannon storming out of the bathroom screaming, or coming to her house and “yelling” at her, and when she WAS confronted about Tamra spreading rumors by Shannon, Heather never conceded anything and denied everything in order to protect Tamra.
So no, I don’t trust Heather’s words as gospel. She, like all of them, has been found to hallucinate events and memories that never happened whenever they benefit her. It’s completely likely to me that Tamra did lie and Heather once again felt the need to lie in order to cover for her and back her up.
Did anyone else catch Tamra saying, “I just got rid of crabs – I don’t need to get fleas!”?
I think that was one of those “just joking but um, not really” moments!
Also interesting how immediately after eating the fruit, Tamra says, “Tastes like ass!” Yes Dear, I’m sure you would know…I imagine Eddie insists on getting rimmed all the time to warm him up for…well, you know.
YES! I was hoping someone else would mention it.
Everyone who has ever tried that fruit says it tastes like ass.
On Mon, Aug 11, 2014 at 10:58 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Oh, I’m sure you’re right, but I figured: why pass up an opportunity to make an Eddie/anal sex joke?
@erikzu: Yes!! I was shocked she said that on camera, how gross. How can she and Eddie have crabs, they’ve been together for a few years now. More embarrassment for her kids…
Sorry, meant @ericzku!
I’m confused why Terry is so incensed over that joke given it sounds exactly like one he would make.
I haven’t watched yet and who is pam.
they jokingly refer to danielle as pam, like dana was called pam on bev hills
I was lost. I got to thinking is she so just that I had her name wrong all season
Crap, I hate that I am going to miss the last episodes since I’m moving. Glad I have your recaps, I enjoy the recaps more than the shows anyway.
Anytime we go on vacation and there are monkeys (Playa, Costa Rica, etc.) I lose my mind! I always let them crawl on me… They are the coolest! And I’ve never gotten flees or any weird illnesses. How can you not love a monkey?! I really want to hold a chimpanzee, but have never had the opportunity. That would blow my mind!
That fish pedicure, on the other hand… Not in a million! I got the jeebs watching that.
I’m kinda over the drama and all the fake tears with the OC group. I’m ready for the reunion.
Thanks for the recaps, Tamara. I always enjoy reading them!
Wasn’t it a chip that killed its owner and ripped off the owners best friends face ?
Sorry * chimp
Probably, although I have never heard that story. However, you hear about dogs mauling people too, and I have had many dogs my whole life, not one of them aggressive.
Bucket List: Hug a chimpanzee!
Yes, it was. And I’ve seen pictures of the injuries. Horrible. Not the nice, “Bedtime for Bonzo” characters you see on tv or movies. OMG..did you see the TEETH on that one monkey tonight? NO WAY I’d let one of those things near me.
Yes. Chimpanzee.
Yes. The chimp so badly damaged her face she was the lady who had a face transplant. I think she was also blind after the attack. Stay away from monkeys and chimps. Stupid RHOC women.
Yep, I remembered that too. I think the lady whose face got ripped off was the first face transplant recipient. But I don’t think the owner was killed though. She lived to regret having that monkey. The chimp was her pet. Turns out chimps can be very violent and they are very aggressive and dangerous. I remember this documentary about this supposedly controlled environment populated with chimps running around and they, as a group, went on the attack and killed a lot of people. The scary part was them working together to kill every human they could get their hands on. It was just like rise of the planet of the apes.
Haha…We recently had a little “Planet of the Apes” scenario here at the KC Zoo. One of the chimps took a downed tree branch, and leaned it up against the fence. He climbed out of the enclosure, followed by a bunch of his buddies. There were so many chimps on the loose, they locked down the zoo, and LOCKED UP THE PEOPLE for safety until all the chimps were rounded up. The humans were locked in rooms for an hour or two. It was hilarious watching it on the news.
@o.o: Just googled this and there’s been a few chimp attacks. Also remember seeing some footage in England about 20 years ago of some chimps ripping a monkey apart.
It’s weird the things that freak us out. I can kill spiders with no fear. But a palmetto bug will send me screaming from the house.
On Mon, Aug 11, 2014 at 11:20 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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My uncle Ward had a monkey that would crap in it’s hand and throw it at you. Wish one of the monkeys in Bali would have flung a handful at Vicki or Tamra for their totally rude behavior!!! Shameful!
That’s hilarious… But really fucking gross. If a monkey ever threw crap at me, I would have to rethink my monkey-holding policy.
ok this wins my vote for post of the week. lol!
Works for me
That was quite the ending on MasterChef. I want to see a Lesley and Courtney showdown.
I think it reruns on Friday night. Monday nights are so busy for me it’s hard to focus on the show.
On Tue, Aug 12, 2014 at 12:04 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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This episode was exhausting . All the complaining ,rehashing of foolishness, The rice field scene ., the monkeys , the Chaka Kahn reference , the burning of calories ,stick figures that look like 10 year old boys in two piece swim suits ( not sexy at all) Sigh the incessant selfies , the banana eating with “the ass” reference ??? Oh my ! All I can do is shake my head at this bunch .
I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to be identified as American when abroad . Oy!
They were eating durian which is so stinky hotels, cabs, public transit, and airlines forbid people to bring them. People say it smells like pig crap, turpentine, onions mixed with sweaty gym socks. They were brave to try it. However, there are people who love it.
Why are Tamara and Heather walking on the rice?
Why is Lizzie doing a shit stir worthy of Tamara? I like Lizzie and I hope this is not the real Lizzie. She’s no longer boring.
I learned 2 things from this show. If you hate your friend’s boyfriend, never say anything negative about him even when they break up. They usually get back together and you will be the source of all their troubles. Never ever host a dinner party and play marry, shag, kill especially when liquor is involved.
for whatever reason tamra was all over heathers shit at the start of the season and then as tamra was being outed for the lying cuntbag she is she latched onto heather. i sort of think heather is afraid of tamra, her mouth is razor sharp. i don’t think lizzie is lying, i do think booze plays into so much of the drama and isn’t it handyt hat the one scene they are all arguing about we don’t see…. anyways i think tamra is pissed she is being outed and hates that she is being shown for who and what she really is. even though i cannot stand vickie so much of the time i do feel sorry for her, she is really in love with brooks for whatever reason and tamra’s shit talking hurts her to the core. and for tamra to yell at danielle that no one likes her, really? i am not sure we ahve seen enough of her to form an opinion one way or another. i just hate tamra!!!
I hated Tamra from the start.
i would love to like her. she has a great sense of humor and i know she can be fun, it’s her mean nasty jealous bullshit that i hate. that so overshadows anything fun about her. and another commentor was all over lizzie saying shit when she was drunk and upset and bitched her husband, how often did we see tamra do that to simon? or vickie do that to don? i think the person just doesn’t like lizzie and that is their right,but for crying out loud… tamra is a big nasty twat
I liked her until the “naked wasted” incident.
Naked wasted was awful.
I so enjoyed seeing a bit of Bali. All these beatches gossip about each other, but I hate it when it becomes everyone against one beatch — even if she’s a rotten one. Nobody’s hands were clean. I would have told them all to STFU, I just want to enjoy Bali and the Balinese men. P.S. Eat some carbs, Heather.
Who cares if Lizzie said fuck? If so she was referencing a game. I think Tamra has said more offensive/outrageous things.
Besides if Eddie is straight he probably does want to fuck Lizzie or any attractive woman who isn’t Tamra. I genuinely don’t understand what he was thinking, unless the goal for him was always to open the gym and get the free promotion from the show. He seems completely annoyed with Tamra in ever single scene all season.
Tamara
Thank you so much. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. (I know, very sad that my biggest laugh comes from a blog. About housevives. From Orange County).
I couldn’t get past the third ‘Pam’ because I couldn’t see through the tears. It took me at least 5 attempts to get past the first ‘Pam’.
I have been a long time fan of your blog, but just recently started to comment. I’m sorry if I was supposed to ask permission to comment. I never read the rules first because it took me forever to grow a set and post a comment, and I was afraid if I paused to read the rules then I would be even more afraid to post after I had read them. Sorry. (maybe I can make it up by filling you in on what’s going on in the middle of the night in the BB house sometime?)
Now I’m going to try to start reading this re-cap again. With dry eyes (for the minute lol Pam lol
Thanks again,
Angie
Yes. This was an awesome recap. I really hope Andy reads a question to Pam at the reunion.
It seems like Tamra is just reaching with that Lizzie/Eddie comment. It seems like she didn’t bring that up until Lizzie confronted her about her bday party. Frankly I find them all annoying. I’ll be glad when it’s all over.
Again, I am very happy I read TT’s great recap and missed the show.
First of all, who plays marry, shag, kill with each other’s husbands? No one that’s sane, that’s who.
Second, I had a friend in high school whose mother had a monkey. It pooped in the toilet and then wiped and flushed. Cutest damn thing I ever saw.
Finally, why am I missing Masterchef? I have it set on my dvr and it says the new season starts in a couple of weeks.
If only it were true that we would never see her face again, However, we have the finale and the reunion to look forward to. My only hope is that she does come back next season and her story line is that Eddie comes out of the closet.
Think about it…They are all BIG FAT liars! I don’t know about “Pam” When Tamra got thrown off the bull a long time ago and hurt herself; is it just me that heard Heather say “turn it up” right when Tamra really got started on the ride? Why has nothing been said of that? I heard her say that, bigger than Dallas! What I don’t understand is, that there is so much drama and everybody hates everybody and then they’re friends again until they stab yet one another AGAIN! These chicks are CRAY CRAY! If you ask me, and nobody did, but anyway…I think all of the men are nasty creeps, Brooks included!
I noticed more slicing and dicing on this episode than ever. So much was obvious by the clothes they wore. One scene would have them in one outfit, the next one would be different, then the next would be back to the first outfit. I was expecting to see Heather ride the bicycle in the red bikini without the shirt she didn’t think she should have to wear. That seemed extreme for her and, of course, she wore something more appropriate. When Tamra and Heather were trying to describe what they saw where rice was grown, neither one could come up with the word “terraces”. I also think Heather is afraid to be on Tamra’s bad side, just as Vicki said she is. Heather and Terry are both liars to say Tamra has never lied to them. They should at least qualify it with apparently she has to others. I thought Lizzie was never going to stop saying “chuck” in the dumb talking head. This show is so over produced, I think it would be more entertaining to be shown production telling them what they want, then seeing this group of varying degrees of nuts perform, like some trained (or untrained) monkeys.
I though Lizzie’s Chakka Khan talking head was funny.
On Tue, Aug 12, 2014 at 1:09 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Im not sure what lizzies friends name is. But does any one else think she will be on the show next year?
There were some issues with Danielle and filming. I think she initially had a much larger role.
On Tue, Aug 12, 2014 at 2:02 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Wasn’t Tamra a stripper? Not all,but some of them have personality
disorders: deceitful,attention seeking,manipulative,don’t comprehend
consequences of their behavior, generally sociopathic exhibitionists
And that’s why we tune in week after week 😉
Catching up after a long weekend away, from Tamra’s blog: “She can not handle NOT being the princess of O.C., and she will fight for the RHOC crown.” Tamra is the OC princess holding the crown? Sing it with Kristen: deluuusionallll. (Is there a default with no worthy Orange County candidate to crown?)
What joy! I just discovered this website and really enjoy reading the recaps and comments. Well done!
Having done lots of overseas travel, I was appalled at the crass and juvenile behaviour of Vicky and Tamra. Vicky’s constant screeching had me grinding my teeth down. I will never understand why Vicky seems stuck in the mentality she must have had in middle school where in order to feel as if she is having fun she has to scream and make a spectacle of herself. Both she and Tamara are the stereotype of Ugly Americans.
About Durian, the stinky fruit Heather and Tamra tried, the best description I have ever heard about it’s taste is to compare it to eating vanilla custard in a latrine.
I was happy to see Lizzie call Tamra out for her vile behaviour at last. I was amazed that she ran away screaming though – she usually is ready for a fight. I tend to think that she is jealous of Lizzie and doesn’t want to actually confront her for some reason because in past seasons Tamra has been right up in the faces of her other enemies. I think Heather was just siding with Tamra on the stupid Shag, Marry, Kill saga. Heather sometimes has misplaced loyalty to prove she has their back and will go along with what her friend of the moment has to say – until it no longer serves her purpose, that is.
Sorry for such a long post – I’m just so excited that I discovered this blog! Thanks for the opportunity to speak my two cents worth of thoughts.
Omg – Tamra is so beyond ignorant and uneducated – take things “out of contents” send a “cyst and decease” order, “amalgam” is a big word? Haha She is so terribly stupid – I am guessing 5th grade eduction, attended through 9th but spent middle school ditching class and sleeping around.