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You are here: Home / RHOBH / Brandi Glanville / Brandi Is Hawking A Chardonnay, Which Means Game Time!

Brandi Is Hawking A Chardonnay, Which Means Game Time!

July 31, 2014 by tamaratattles 80 Comments

RHOBH Brandi wine name
I love how her chopper had the sense to make it a pinot grigio… Credit: Twatter

In Brandi Glanville’s never-ending quest to be Lisa Vanderpump, she is going to brand a line of Chardonnay! Which, um, no one cares about, and really who drinks Chardonnay? It is way better than Moscato which is like cough syrup and champale combined…but still. Speaking of misguided wine ventures, whatever happened to Nene’s wine line? I remember giving suggestions for wines here once when I was still getting my feet wet.  I was being a bit pretentious. Truth be told I love a cheap Chilean merlot, a good Pinot Grigio (shut up, I said good), or Veuve Clicquot Brut for celebrations.

But anyway, the thing is Brandi wanted to name her wine, STFU! And that was denied. So she took to twitter for help from her fans to name the brand and she still doesn’t have one. She needs our help.

Brandi At least I'm not doing Chrystal Meth in the Bathroom

It’s late, and I thought of how much fun a game here with y’all would be but I have no good ideas. I am sure you guys have some great suggestions. I can’t wait for TeeCee to play this game. And maybe Trho, but I think she might like Brandi.

Here are a couple off the top of my head:

Jaundiced
Brandi Glanswill
Vaginal Rejuicination
Life is Chard
Do it the Chard Way (more of a slogan)
Adult White Swim

Okay. I am bad at this…you go!

Oh wait, I have one that would be great….ready???

TWATTER!

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Filed Under: Brandi Glanville, News, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH Tagged With: Brandi Glandville, Game, News Archive, RHOBH, Twatter, WIne

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. realhousewifefanatic says

    July 31, 2014 at 12:21 am

    “Champale” OMG Tamara, that is priceless. I haven’t heard that since the 80’s when “Pink Champale” was a young ladies (teenagers) drink of choice! I don’t have a submission for the game but can’t wait to see what the other suggestions are.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      July 31, 2014 at 12:28 am

      You can think of something.

      Like …

      Twat Waffle!​

      On Thu, Jul 31, 2014 at 12:21 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • deco says

        July 31, 2014 at 6:36 pm

        I always loved Fred Sanford’s. Champipple.

        Reply
  2. Kim S says

    July 31, 2014 at 12:24 am

    Omg Tamara! Long time reader, first time commenting… Vaginal Rejuicination is just too damn funny!!! I wish she would have been able to to STFU as the name, but I would buy a bottle of VR just to display on our home bar for a good laugh!

    Reply
  3. Ellis Scarlett says

    July 31, 2014 at 12:41 am

    “Black People Can’t Swimchardonnay”
    “Classless and “Clueless”
    “Tampon Stringria” (for her non existent sangria)
    “I hate LeAnndonnay”

    That’s all I got.

    Reply
    • MelodyofLove (@MelodyofLove) says

      July 31, 2014 at 9:28 am

      LOL.. good job Ellis 🙂

      Reply
    • O.O says

      August 3, 2014 at 12:21 am

      Lol @ ellis

      Reply
  4. Lisa Moore says

    July 31, 2014 at 12:48 am

    String.

    Reply
  5. RobinR says

    July 31, 2014 at 12:56 am

    Skank Sippon

    Skank Juice ……. Juice de Skank

    String Along Chard ,,,,,,,,,,,, Chard de String……….de Tampon ………de UCK

    Reply
    • YouCanLeadAHorticulture says

      July 31, 2014 at 11:36 am

      Skank Sippon is HILARIOUS!

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        July 31, 2014 at 11:39 am

        Boozy Floozy is great.

        Slut Pig is great but would not fly. See what I did there?​

        On Thu, Jul 31, 2014 at 11:36 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

        Reply
  6. RobinR says

    July 31, 2014 at 1:15 am

    upysa chard (UP YO SKINNY ASS)
    Cannot wait until the morning crew gets hold of this!

    Reply
  7. josie says

    July 31, 2014 at 1:37 am

    What does this vile woman know about wine? She needs to go away . Maybe she should try these names
    BEVERLY HILLS BIMBO NECTAR
    Skank Liquid
    My tampon string
    Botox girl
    Drama queen
    Trailer trash juice
    Chipmunk juice
    Desperation
    I can’t move on
    Shameless

    Reply
    • O.O says

      August 3, 2014 at 12:23 am

      @ Josie … Lol

      Reply
  8. Momof2 says

    July 31, 2014 at 2:10 am

    Chardonnay for the Useless Non Talented or for short, CUNT wines. I wanted to say some kind of String comment but felt it was crass. Other people were going for it so I thought wtf. Low blow but Northern Lights would sum it all up.

    Reply
    • Sick of "reality"! says

      July 31, 2014 at 4:08 am

      Perhaps a simple string hanging out of the cork will do?

      Reply
      • dallasmom says

        July 31, 2014 at 11:45 am

        Lmao….string hanging from cork would be perfect!

        Reply
      • gessiewtf says

        July 31, 2014 at 2:46 pm

        lmao.

        Reply
    • fivecatsownme says

      August 1, 2014 at 8:53 pm

      You are funny.

      Reply
  9. Momof2 says

    July 31, 2014 at 2:21 am

    Man I’m a bad person cause I really want to keep coming up with horrible names. SLUT wine, someone lacking unique talent.

    Reply
  10. Sick of "reality"! says

    July 31, 2014 at 4:07 am

    I do like SKANK! or perhaps SNATCH?

    Reply
  11. frenchpoodlename says

    July 31, 2014 at 4:20 am

    “White Wonderland” (one sip makes you taller…)
    “Grapes of Wraith”
    “Vino veritas” cannon

    Reply
  12. Linda says

    July 31, 2014 at 4:56 am

    Go Chardonnay Yourself….by Brandi

    Reply
    • SweetT says

      July 31, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      This is both funny and actually usable.

      Reply
  13. Danielle says

    July 31, 2014 at 5:33 am

    Chardonnay isn’t all bad, but I can’t imagine Brandi’s being any better than some gas station plonk, or anything in a box.

    My suggestions:

    Blanc Stare
    More Wood Than I’ve Seen
    May Cause Tweeting
    Enabler
    California Panty Remover

    It’s late, but these are all I have got…

    Reply
  14. Real housewife of PA says

    July 31, 2014 at 7:06 am

    Sour Grapes
    Rime Time

    Reply
  15. fivecatsownme says

    July 31, 2014 at 8:29 am

    Salope du Jour. That is slut or skank of the day in French.

    Reply
    • YouCanLeadAHorticulture says

      July 31, 2014 at 11:38 am

      That’s funny! At least Belle Du Jour got paid for her whoring. Brandi can’t seem to give it away poor thing.

      Reply
      • fivecatsownme says

        July 31, 2014 at 12:06 pm

        It’s like Givenchy vs.NeNe of HSN

        Reply
  16. chris says

    July 31, 2014 at 8:54 am

    hey! i like moscato! (the non fizzy kind)

    Reply
  17. Bama Belle says

    July 31, 2014 at 9:09 am

    I was going to go with Bitch, but that one is already on the market.

    Reply
  18. chris says

    July 31, 2014 at 9:15 am

    Eau de Tampon (Eau de vie is a type of brandy)

    Reply
  19. MelodyofLove (@MelodyofLove) says

    July 31, 2014 at 9:32 am

    I can’t stand Brandi. I liked her at first but her mouth and mothering got out of control. I can’t even look at her without feeling irritated so no rhobh for me this year. I think the liquor department has been exhausted with the housewives.

    Reply
  20. Maisey says

    July 31, 2014 at 10:39 am

    Just name it “Leann” and call it a day.

    Reply
  21. teecee66 says

    July 31, 2014 at 10:43 am

    Just name it chlamydia and be done with it.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      July 31, 2014 at 11:14 am

      I waited 12 hours for chlamydia? Seriously? Now I have to go out into THE WORLD disappointed. ​

      On Thu, Jul 31, 2014 at 10:43 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • teecee66 says

        July 31, 2014 at 5:36 pm

        Everyone else (including you) did such a great job, I couldn’t do better!!

        Reply
  22. fivecatsownme says

    July 31, 2014 at 11:23 am

    2 Buck Slut

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      July 31, 2014 at 11:28 am

      ​Ahhhh! Now we are getting somewhere!

      On Thu, Jul 31, 2014 at 11:24 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • theREALHWOFNJ says

        July 31, 2014 at 11:35 am

        You mean $1.99?

        Reply
    • YouCanLeadAHorticulture says

      July 31, 2014 at 11:38 am

      YESSSSSSSSSSSS

      Reply
    • HerDaughter says

      July 31, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      I like this one!

      Reply
      • Donibunz says

        July 31, 2014 at 2:23 pm

        2 Buck Slut is the winner (in my book)!

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          July 31, 2014 at 3:40 pm

          Two Buck Slut is pretty awesome.

          or

          Two Buck Fuck​

          On Thu, Jul 31, 2014 at 2:23 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
    • Sick of "reality"! says

      July 31, 2014 at 8:09 pm

      Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! This it!

      Reply
  23. YouCanLeadAHorticulture says

    July 31, 2014 at 11:35 am

    Leann’s reserve: Closet Chardonnay. food pairings: laxatives, adderall, in-n-out burger, carpet lint, blind rage

    Good Taste Takes a Holiday Chardonnay

    Mentally Andanate, Adult Adolescent Chardonnay

    Regret Wine: Learning the Hard Way Chardonnay

    Boozy Floozy: Chardonnay Holiday (from parental responsibility)

    Slut Pig Matinee: Day Drinking Chardonnay
    Food Pairing: Greasy Realtor’s tongue in a parked car

    Forever Alone Vino: Why do all men Run Away Chardonnay?
    Food Pairing: Juvederm Syringe and Regret

    WTF happenned to my life? Chardonnay of Present Day
    Food Pairing: Dog Pee and Regret

    Reply
    • theREALHWOFNJ says

      July 31, 2014 at 11:38 am

      PMSL!!!

      Reply
  24. dallasmom says

    July 31, 2014 at 11:57 am

    Sloppy Drunk

    Reply
  25. HerDaughter says

    July 31, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    “WHITE GIRL DRUNK”

    Reply
    • HerDaughter says

      July 31, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      Oops! “WHITE GIRL WASTED”

      Reply
  26. Fahlina_G says

    July 31, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    “No Strings Attached” in honor of her unfortunate tampon string incident…

    Reply
  27. Cat says

    July 31, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    “Loose Juice”…..”Gatorlaid”……Wordpress won’t let me post my other suggestion, so I’ll clean it up and call it “Cat Pee”.

    Reply
  28. Valerie says

    July 31, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    Abulia – which is Greek meaning: abnormal lack of ability to act or make decisions that is characteristic of certain psychotic and neurotic conditions. It was on one of my boys extra credit vocabulary words a few years ago and I think it has a certain je me sais quoi.

    Reply
    • Valerie says

      July 31, 2014 at 3:29 pm

      Oops, je ne sais quoi.

      Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      July 31, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      I like the word…but it’s too sophisticated for Brandi. ​

      On Thu, Jul 31, 2014 at 3:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • Valerie says

        July 31, 2014 at 4:00 pm

        I guess we just go for the obvious then. She should call it, “I will personally come to your house and suck your cock if you pay for what’s in this bottle.” Too long. Perhaps, “DESPERATION” would work better.

        Reply
      • Valerie says

        July 31, 2014 at 4:05 pm

        Oops, sorry Josie you already said Desperation.

        Reply
  29. chris says

    July 31, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    BH Koolaid (or California Koolaid) [why not add a little copy infringement to her troubles?]
    Mother’s Little Helper
    STFU (Swill This Fucker Up)

    Reply
  30. Josie says

    July 31, 2014 at 7:36 pm

    There are some funny real wine names such as Fat Bastard and il bastado, mommys time out, four play wine…

    How about:
    Strung Out
    Hanging by a String
    Blotto Chardonnay
    Crocked & Loaded
    Sauced & Saucy
    Hosed Chardonnay

    Reply
  31. Josie says

    July 31, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    One more:

    Ass & Nine Chardonnay

    Reply
    • MicroOp says

      July 31, 2014 at 8:16 pm

      Haha

      Reply
  32. MicroOp says

    July 31, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    Drunkerexia

    Reply
  33. Sick of "reality"! says

    July 31, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Pathetico…

    Reply
  34. vonnie says

    July 31, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    Brandinay Whine
    Brandished by Brandi
    Bewildered by Brandi
    Why Talk Just Drink by Brandi
    Attention Whore by Brandi

    Reply
  35. MicroOp says

    July 31, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    Trash de Blanco

    Reply
    • fivecatsownme says

      July 31, 2014 at 9:39 pm

      La Basura Blanca ( white trash)

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        July 31, 2014 at 10:47 pm

        So, Villa Basura would work…and continue in the copying Lisa vein…​

        On Thu, Jul 31, 2014 at 9:40 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

        Reply
      • Josie says

        July 31, 2014 at 11:39 pm

        Ha! Love it!

        Reply
      • Linda says

        August 1, 2014 at 10:11 am

        Loves this one!

        Reply
  36. puravidacostarica2 says

    July 31, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    How about “No Consequence” with a note on the label that says:

    “Because no matter how much you drink, you won’t wake up as ugly as LeAnn Rimes.”

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      July 31, 2014 at 11:59 pm

      I knew this post would displease you. You are still buying me a winter home in Saint Tropez though, right?​

      On Thu, Jul 31, 2014 at 11:54 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • puravidacostarica2 says

        August 1, 2014 at 1:06 am

        No you owe me the place on Lake Como (because abramdi lasted longer than Kenya on CA, remember?). I will give you time to go house hunting with me first.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          August 1, 2014 at 2:14 pm

          I thought we settled on you buying me a small flat in the 7th arrondissement in Paris? Mais non?

          Reply
      • puravidacostarica2 says

        August 1, 2014 at 1:07 am

        *Brandi

        Reply
  37. HannahKingRose says

    August 1, 2014 at 12:26 am

    How about. Chardonass on all Fours?

    Reply
  38. Josie says

    August 1, 2014 at 7:42 am

    Brandi said her heart is taken but her vagina is free. How about:

    La Vagina Libre (free vagina)

    Everything sounds so much nicer in Spanish☺

    Reply
    • fivecatsownme says

      August 1, 2014 at 10:01 am

      Every thing does sound nicer in Spanish and more expensive in French. Such as a croque monsieur vs. a grilled ham and cheese vs.Torta con Queso y jamon. I got up at five and made 100 egg and 100 cucumber tea sandwiches for a friend’s reception. I never want to see egg salad again. However I now want a torta Milanesa. Breaded steak cutlet, avocado, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise on a Mexican roll. Bolillo.

      Reply
      • Josie says

        August 1, 2014 at 11:32 am

        Youre an awesome friend to do that…

        Yum to the Torta Millanesa!

        Reply
      • fivecatsownme says

        August 1, 2014 at 8:50 pm

        Josie, I still want that torta. My favorite mom and pop restaurant changed cooks. No me gusts son comics. I guess I’ll have to make my own and I’m lazy.

        Reply
  39. fivecatsownme says

    August 1, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    Vintage Caveat Emptor ( Let the Buyer Beware) That’s even a clean one, but we all know the waste of a dirty mind is a terrible thing.

    Reply

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