Okay, things always get insane just before primetime. Sources. People Leaving. This. Board. Forever, Phone calls. The dog wants stuff. It’s chaos on a Sunday night at the offices of Tamara Tattles. Which is fine. But it is also my excuse for being behind. So let’s get going!
Melissa and Joe are not exactly in the garbage business. They are in the sensitive government shredded document disposal business. Which makes perfect sense when your sister has been indicted on 41 counts of federal charges. Joe Gorga says that Melissa doesn’t know how many millions he has invested in this business. Um, perhaps we should start a how long until Joe Gorga is indicted for some federal charges pool? He is now telling Melissa the house is on hold. They must make do with their pitiful 5,000 square foot rental house for now. However will Melissa bear up during this period of homelessness and despair? Oh the sacrifices they are making.
Jim threatens to make his kid do a hundred pushups and then holds a family prayer all in one breath. I like that Amber and Jim are teaching their kids manners, I do, but it they seem weird. Very weird. They are planning a commercial for Jim’s mortgage business with the kids. Speaking of commercials and exploiting children, Teresa is doing a photo shoot to publicize “her” cupcake line. Milania is at Def Con whatever the biggest one is. I’ve never understood what Def Con means. Please enlighten me in comments.
Amber and Melissa are in a car going somewhere and catching up on the twins. Amber tells Melissa that Nicole was divorced over some cheating, and that Nicole “broke up a family.” I have no idea WTF they are talking about, and moreover, I don’t care. But I am going to try to figure it out anyway. In her talking head, Amber says she is not a gossip but she loves Melissa and wants to get her up to speed.
Dina drops by Teresa’s for a small party to celebrate cupcakes or whatever her new line is. It’ seems to be desserts of pretty much every variety because Tre is a fantastic blogger, New York Bestsellers Times author, wine maker, and cook with a vast knowledge of the latest ingrediencesez. Sigh. If I were to luck into some position like Tre has where everyone wanted my name on their products, I think I would at least try to learn about the product. Or in the case of the books learn to read. Is it just me? Dina is Audrianna’s godmother. Perfect. She can have her when Tre goes to jail. In Dina’s talking head, the producers ask her if she is in some ways closer to Tre than her own sisters. She says she is not going there. Audriana breaks a glass and then is basically given a pass on it (which is probably fine, accidents happen) and then immediately begins to climb on the furniture again potentially busting up things the family needs to sell for restitution!
At Tre’s party, Amber apologized for some of her guest’s behavior at her party. Amber is teary eyed and seems very supportive of Tre which makes Tre cry. Audrianna asks Tre why she was crying. Amber continues to make Tre cry. Amber just keeps on going down the road of making everyone emotional. Amber brings up the cancer again. Tre is like, “Are you okay now?” Jesus.
The twins and their partners invite Tre and Joe out to one of their restaurants, Angelos. TeRESSA says she knows Tre is as dumb as a door knob (she really did say that) but she loves her heart. Her cold, black, sociopathic, why is this bad thing happening to me just because I frauded banks out of millions and lied under oath to a federal bankruptcy court, heart. TeRESSA is kind. Actually, TeRESSA is a suck up. Rino is too. The guys invite Joe on a guys night out.
Melissa and Amber meet up again. Whatever work Melissa had done, looks great on her. That is what plastic surgery should look like. Jim is babysitting and his friend Bobby brings the kids McDonald’s. Amber would shit a brick. The kids are sworn to secrecy. Amber tells Melissa or she is an actress. Melissa inquires and Amber says she has done commercials. Yes, commercials for your husband’s business. Amber is so annoying. And she is one of THOSE cancer survivors. Disclaimer: If I ever get cancer, and it is all throughout my family. I will be the worst cancer survivor EVER. I saw my sister be one, it was horrific, but there is some genetic thing in our family, or just nurture where we are all attention seeking hypochondriac, self-absorbed people more often than not. My other sister is the good sister btw and is exempt from judgment. She’s a saint. But the rest of us…not so much. So I am not in any place to judge. But here I go. Amber seems consumed by the cancer that she no longer has. At least I am consumed with the shit I still experience. I dunno, I feel bad for even mentioning it, it’s CANCER. It’s a terrible thing. But Amber who is fully recovered uses it to relate to other people a lot. It’s like that time I had cancer.. And well, sometimes it’s not. And sometimes if people have issues that are not as extreme as cancer, it’s not necessary to jump in with, “but I had cancer!” Again. Apologies for being an awful person, but as someone once said, being dead doesn’t suddenly make you likeable. And neither does having cancer. #EndRant Just hit play and Melissa herself is telling her to move on.
Meanwhile, Jim says that he can’t go out with the boys because he is a mortgage company owner, and Joe is a fraudster and he is not interested in hanging out with him. Suddenly, Jim has a flash of normalcy.
Dina and Lexi have a scene about her NYU admission. She did not get in on early admission. Dina always has an endorsement (BVLGARI) gift for every occasion. I love BVLGARI vert cologne products if they would like me to endorse… just saying. The bracelet was cool for a teen.
It’s apparently boys not out and everyone is going bowling. Rosie and Rich are part of the boys night out. Rino immediately loved Rosie. Bobby explains that Jim is not there because the Joes fight. Jim really just doesn’t associate with felons. Bobby is having a first responders party soon. I am not sure we really need to see the guys so much on Real HOUSEWIVES. But Bobby is kind of hot.
James Van Praagh is apparently Dina’s friend. He is a medium/mediawhore. James refers to Tre as “the famous cookbook author” while grinning as if he is in on the joke.
The twins and Melissa go shopping. Nicole tells Melissa that Jim doesn’t want to be seen with felons. Melissa is pissed. Nicole is pouring gasoline on the fire between Melissa and Amber. Melissa pours gasoline on the fire between Nicole and Amber by sharing that Amber said Nicole broke up a family. The twins want to go confront Amber. They leave in the clothes they were trying on. There are still full service gas stations in Jersey? I’d love if we still had them.
Back to James and the psychic. James says he thinks she might be moving someplace. OMFG. I am dying here. Bravo is SOFA KING messy! Yes, James, she is moving into a um, big house! This is already delightful. Looking for a house that will accommodate you better. OMG James practically predicted the death of Joe’s father. Surely this is one of those filmed after the death things. James says Joe is still looking for approval from his father, but he indicates he didn’t think his father was alive. Stop with this shit! It’s disturbs me! James then says he doesn’t think Tre will do jail time. He thinks Joe will. Tre continues on with the “Why is this happening???” routine. And it plays well to her ignorant fan base who have not read here. (Tre’s PLEA DEAL) or here (Juicy’s Plea Deal) it is happening because you are both CRIMINALS.
The twins arrive at Amber’s house and decide to abort because the kids are there. They will wait for Bobby’s party.
I kind of hate this show.
Me too! I’m already over this season. Its only been 3 episodes and I still can’t get into it like I’m trying lol
Me three! I can’t find one new housewife that has anything to contribute. The twins drive me crazy – are they really that ignorant and arrogant? Come on BRAVO! And Teresa….just can’t watch her rant on and on about ‘Why is this happening to us?” garbage. I’m done.
Amber is dragging Melissa on twitter right now, so funny!
What is Amber saying about melissa? Sorry TT but I’m too old to try to figure out that twitter crap!
That psychic is the worst. Ive seen him before. He just fires rapid questions until he scores a hit. At least some of the other shysters are smoother about the con.
This time around, his psychic sense of this situation came from a mystical source called the newspaper.
It’s illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey. Wish it was a law in every state. Teresa is too self-absorbed and lazy to discipline her girls. The fraud charges have nothing to do with her lack of parenting skills, she has always looked the other way. TT as always, love your blogs. Thanks for all your hard work!
In Oregon it’s illegal too. Full service is the only option.
Mollymom, I would love to have someone pump my gas!!!! Just the thought makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I think we have one full service In my town but it costs a good a bit more money if the service station attendants do it for you. So I get my sorry hiney out of the car and pumped it myself. Gas cost in North Carolina in and around my area is now (today) around $3.44 per gallon for “regular.” High test cost much more. I’m a regular kinda gal. Plus, why pay more. My Honda can take any kind of grade gas except diesel! (Hah!) And, I put over 375,000 miles on my previous car using “regular” gas. So I’m fine with regular. I live very close to Charlotte, NC and Charlotte’s gas is running around 10 cent more on the gallon. I’d love to vacation in the northern states!
My dad was appalled by that fact when he first moved out there from Atlanta.. It took him one Oregon winter to figure out that full service was pretty sweet.
I call my step~mother every week and one of my regular questions is always, “How are the gas prices?” Usually, they are not a lot different than ours are here in NC.
@Patty R.~ I live outside of Charlotte too and Charlotte gas is slightly cheaper than our gas…they apparently add gold to it here. Thank goodness for cheap SC gas. 🙂
Y’all suck! LOL Army moved us from NC last year. Spent most of hubs 21yrs there. It’ll always be home.
@Karma Grant~ Are you in Oregon now? I LOVE it there and would move in a heartbeat. Thank you to you and to your husband for your service to our country. 🙂
Oh hell no. LOL Born and mostly raised in Washington state. I’d do all I could to never go back to that weather! Love the South…heat, humidity, all of it. Moving to Houston next year for jobs (we think) once hubs is retired. And you’re welcome (from him). I didn’t serve, am just the supporter 🙂
I live north of Charlotte, in Denver, NC, and I found one little EXXON station that will pump the gas and wash the windows. 2 little old men. They are sweet. OMG I love them. I made them brownies. Lame, I know, but this is how happy I was. I think they should go back to full service everywhere. I don’t go anywhere else for gas, now.
@Mina~ You are not far from me. I do not find it lame to take “Thank you” brownies. We had to call the fire department on Thursday for an incident with a burning compressor and on Friday, we took Krispy Kreme by the fire station.
@Karma Grant~ Don’t sell yourself short….supporting a member of our armed forces is a huge sacrifice while they are defending us and that is why I included you in the “Thank you” too. 🙂
The editing is so damn funny. Milania…oh my lord.
That child is a beast. I laughed my ass off. “get your dirty hands off me!” And I can laugh. I don’t have to be around her and she’s not my kid and it’s just a tv show. Before you all go ballistic about it, remember this. You don’t have to be around her and she’s not your kid. It’s funny and the morality of it all is none of your business.
All has stations in NJ are full service. It’s against the law to pump your own. And it’s way cheap. But the attendents are always slow as sloths so gas is a half hour commitment sometimes.
I loathe jim and amber. Jim gave a speech about growing up in a typical Italian family. I don’t think he did. Typical Italians do not have sticks up their asses and they don’t name their children Chesterfield and Winifred. They are loving and fun and he sure is not. I think he has a lot of nerve saying he won’t be around the Joes. A. He agreed to be on a tv show with them. B. The mortgage industry is not so squeaky clean. They (legally) damaged this country leading up to the collapse of the housing market. I’m betting this pissant allowed lots of questionable loans. So yeah. I don’t care for him or his cancer wife.
@teecee, i gotta tell you, am frightened of replying to your post. Whenever I see your avatar, it feels like I am about to walk down a dark alley. But best description of Milania ever. If you are going to call me a c*nt or any version thereof, please make it original just for me. I have never seen so many derivations of that word in my life since reading this blog.
You must be my Mexican maid who has 14 children. Cunts-way-low.
oh my god.
On Sun, Jul 27, 2014 at 10:58 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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ROFL! I’m stealing cunts way low but I will give you credit when I use it!!!! Bahahahaha!!!
Omg, that is truly hysterical!! I am honored. I knew you would not disappoint me.
To: Thanks4Sharing
The Avatar looks to be Lauren Bacall. Not to worry! Lauren Bacall played in “black and white” films. Probably made in the early ’40’s. And the films were sometimes dark, smokey and eerie especially in the dark alleys or on a foggy night on a dock. These movies with Lauren Bacall were NEVER as scary as what we see now! And most of her movies had love and romance in them. So you’re safe! 😉
I don’t quite think you get it.
Patti, thanks for your efforts, sweet of you, but what I meant was teecee’s avatar signals that i am about to enter a comment/post where words become either vicious or insightful or comical.
Fear of the unknown, like a dark alley.
Teecee, I admittedly, poked at the tiger in the cage, but so worth it. That play on words was pretty genius, albeit nasty.
Wonder where Milania get’s her “sayings” from and her actions? You’ve heard of “Monkey see, Monkey do.”. Milania certainly isn’t repeating anything she learned from a children programming show or shows. And I don’t hear Teresa or Joe curse that much. Nor have I seen them smart mouth each other. So… Maybe on the playground from other kids??
Maybe she reads here.
LOL teecee that was hilarious. Everything you said is spot on! I have been missing the blog comments on Bravo but this is way better!!! Bravo censors way too much and only about 10% of the comments get posted.
Bravo! All of it.
My favorite was when she told the photographer “your new name is butthole!” I love that child…she cracks me up!
When Teresa said “You’re giving me ANXIETY” and she said “I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!!” I friggin lost it. I went back during the commercial and ran the whole scene again because I was laughing so much, I missed stuff.
I did too. I have a son who is just like Milania-and my daughter is an angel. They were both raised the same. I most likely discipline a lot more than the Jewdechays, but sometimes you just have to let it go. And laugh. If the worst my son says is buttholes then I am ok with that.
Why oh why did Melissa repeat that story about Nichole splitting up a family? Can we say $&@t stirer? What does she think will come of that?
It’s a crap reality show. Someone has to stir the shit or their ratings would be even more dismal then their current standing.
Milania needs to be backhanded….often. Another Giudice thinking they can do as they please. It will be interesting to see what crime she’ll go down for.
Shut up. No child needs to be back-handed EVER.
Obviously Teresa should have been backhanded and never was and look at her now.
Children need to be disciplined. Especially rude, disrespectful brats. Don’t worry Linda, she has two wastes of flesh for parents and they will never discipline any of their children.
Thank you Mommy Dearests. Hitting a child tells them that it’s okay to hit people smaller than you.
YOU shut up. Because yes, some really do need the backhand. Case in point: Milania. The fact that kids aren’t when they need it most but instead get useless “time outs” is why there are so many brats and spoiled rotten young adults and kids out there who are also clueless about life.
Wow……I don’t think she meant it literally.
Oh Elizabeth….beware! I once said to wash her mouth out with soap, wasn’t being literal, just meant dIsciplIne the child! I got attacked! Personally I don’t care for foul mouthed, ill behaved kids. But have discovered I am in the minority!
I could care less what Linda thinks of my discipline. I’m sure she has devil spawn of her own that walk all over her.
If you could care less that means you care dumbass. You should be backhanded with an English book.
simmah down, weird Al. Everyone says it that way.
On Sun, Jul 27, 2014 at 11:35 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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No. No they do not. Only DUMB people make that mistake.
Yawn. Yes, call someone out on a minor grammatical error. Does your piss poor self esteem feel elevated now? You’re boring.
Someone should try and remove that stick from your ass.
For the love of God, do not go near the stick! Do.Not.
On Sun, Jul 27, 2014 at 11:41 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Go for it cuntress.
Cuntress…are you legit retarded? Sure seems that way. I probably shouldn’t take advantage of your obviously lacking intelligence.
So *clap clap*. Good job, tiger! What a well thought out and clever reply!
Feel better, you attention whore, fucktard?
Yes. I am legit retarded. And you want a child to be hit. Pretty sure you should not be calling other people “rude disrespectful brat”.
Now you go. Since you seem to parrot whatever I say, it’ll be predictable.
What a terrible thing to say. Discipline is one thing, but backhanding is abuse. No child deserves that.
I gotta admit to back handing my kid once. I was standing folding clothes and all of a sudden I felt this horrible pain on the back of my calf like some creature was biting me. My knee jerk reaction was to knock it away without even looking. I was right. It was a creature. It was my 2 year old son who had just taken a big old chomp on my calf leaving teeth prints. Knocked him on his butt. Felt so bad after I realized it was him but I didn’t know what the hell had bitten me. I just wanted it to stop. He didn’t ever bite his mommy again and I never back handed him again.
Dallasmom- you’re right, we are in the minority. Our kids are viewing programs on tv now that every other word is a cuss (hah) or curse word. And we adults are so use to hearing these bad words from TV and movies too that all of our children end up hearing these words from their parents too! It’s a vicious cycle. I’m sure if we use the Merriam Webster Dictionary we could find many “COOLER” words to replace the FOUL words to GIFT our children with. Just saying girls. It’s fine on our comments because we ARE adults but not around children or in public. Just saying…
Wtf does that have to do with hitting children?
I do what a child to be hit. I want lots of children to be hit. Parents refuse to discipline their children and the rest of the world gets to deal with their demon spawn.
If you don’t know the difference between a smack and abuse, you were obviously a very coddled child.
I can make other people’s kids cry when acting out in public with my teacher deathstare. It’s fun.
On Mon, Jul 28, 2014 at 7:28 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I was not coddled as a child. Far from it. Backhanding a child is abuse. That’s my opinion. If you don’t like it, go ahead, run over a small child. Might make you feel better.
Even though it’s Teresa’s usual parenting, I was surprised not to see her correct Milania’s terrible behavior at the tea party. Wow!
A good mother doesn’t have to hit. She gains her child’s respect fully and early and as TT says, a look is all it takes. No reasoning or explaining. And no hitting. I stop adults in their tracks with a look. Kids are child’s play.
I lived in constant fear of my mother. Well sort of. I exaggerate I lived in constant fear of getting in trouble. I often looked back and wondered WTF I was so worried she would do. She’d smack her and there but not often. But it was clear from an early age that obeying would be the wise choice. 🙂
On Tue, Jul 29, 2014 at 6:37 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Well, mostly, we didn’t want to disappoint them. Or look bad in their eyes. I wanted them to be proud of me. And they were.
@Elizabeth~ That is really harsh. No child should be backhanded! EVER!!! Does she get out of hand? Yes she does, but there are other ways to handle it that do not involve slapping.
If you feel like, ” It’s a crap reality show. Someone has to stir the shit or their ratings would be even more dismal then their current standing.” as you stated above, then why waste your time watching it and then coming here to comment on it? #teammilania
I think Milania is allowed and maybe even encouraged to act up for the show. Teresa thinks her “fans” find Milania “funny” (in my most awful Teresa squeal) so she isn’t going to try and stop it. Any normal mom would take their child aside and explain that her behavior is unacceptable, particularly when directed at guests in her home. I don’t know what, if any, affect it will have on the kid. Is she old enough to understand the difference between real life and reality TV? Time will tell.
So what is your opinion on child actresses/actors who play bratty kids on television/movies with a script? If you think that Milania is encouraged to act out for the show, wouldn’t that be the same as kid who acts in other mediums? It may be possible that Tre teachers her kids that when the cameras are around they can act out and when the cameras are gone they cannot. You do not live in their household so I doubt you have the answers to how they do or don’t discipline their children.
I don’t live in their house, but I can assure you they do not consistently discipline their kids.
On Mon, Jul 28, 2014 at 1:38 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I think Melinia is naturally mouthy and has heard her Mommy explain to them that things she says while the camera is on her are just for stories on the show. I am sure they all coach the kids to do certain things for the cameras. Melania takes it to an extreme level for a child. Being a part of filming unreal reality has to be confusing.
My opinion is no one under 18 should be on a reality show.
Especially if you have parents as dumb as Teresa and Joe.
Tre took it a tad farther, she laughed after uselessly screaming Milania for the fifth time. Is it funny? Yes, kind of…..in a car accident kind of way. The problem with this is that Milania believes she is funny and that this is an acceptable way to talk to people. Unfortunately, one day she will mouth off to the wrong person and will get that backhand from someone who means to harm her, not correct her.
Not in my world. Maybe you live in some hole where people hit people because they don’t like what someone said or did. Maybe you do that. That makes you an animal, FYI. Which is a zillion times worse than being a precocious child.
You can’t possibly endorse disciplining children who use foul language and talk nasty to adults! You need to get on board with the new parenting. You know – the kind where you’ll demand trophies even for your loser child, demand undeserved better grades from the child’s teachers, bail out the teenager when they get in trouble and make excuses for them, make it look like a wonderful idea that they love you enough to never leave home and brag how neatly your 38 year old son keeps his basement room when he isn’t playing Gears of War, accompany him to that infrequent job interview and answer questions for him (oh yes it’s happening), drive him to his friend’s house because he doesn’t have a license and doesn’t want one (actual truth), and spend every last dollar of your retirement funds supporting his sweet ass. And then you can also entertain him by demonstrating the number of ways you can use the word cunt. (And pretend this demonstrates your mastery of social skills). Yep. Get with the new parenting skills!
There is a normal middle ground. Don’t be obtuse.
I have been wondering how Joe was going to explain away why the mega mansion that looks like a shopping mall that he and Melissa said they were building hasn’t been shown.
In the past couple of episodes, Joe and Melissa have repeatedly implied they are actively building their new house. We saw the “lot” in last week’s episode and know there is no house on it. In fact, the weed filled field does not appear to be a million dollar lot in Franklin Lakes – it looks like a ratty field off of a main road – see cars whizzing by. There are several very modest homes in the background. No HOA of an exclusive development would allow an owner to keep a lot, developed or not, in that condition.
So now we find out that Joe has spent “millions” of dollars on a garbage business. It consists of one used truck. He never told Melissa that he had spent all of their money on this new venture. She calmly accepts the fact that he invested all of their money without her knowledge and consent! . The house is now on hold. And if the smooshing of documents isn’t successful, they will lose everything. What a crock!
And Melissa has had her chin shaved. It was very long and pointy.
Agree with your post. I mentioned last
week that their house was not going to be built anytime soon and noticed how Melissa was inquiring if the cold weather would delay Joe from ground breaking. That comment to joe was a red flag to me. She knew then the house was on hold. One more thing. The goverment would never allow a civilian to depose of their garbage. They shread it on premises then two officials take it to be burned. Who do they think they are fooling. Joey doesn’t have million to invest in anything.
THANK YOU!! Exactly.
Of course Joe ‘didn’t tell Melissa’. This way,when he’s indicted for fraud, she can deny any knowledge of criminal intent. It’s all bullshit.
Btw, I no longer watch the show. I simply enjoy TT’s posts and the comments.
@brenblake29 I totally agree … there’s something fishy about the sell of their home & the new business. I thought Joe was in construction (looking back). What happened to Melissa’s singing career/the money Joe invested in her & building that studio??? All for what??? Joe & Phaedra have much in common … definitely covering up something!
Maybe James the Psychic got it right not because he reads the newspaper, but because he reads TT’s blogs?
I haven’t watched this episode yet. I don’t have a dvr, so I had to choose between this and BB. And since Bravo repeats their shows a gazillion times, I will watch at 10:30pm.
I agree about the cancer talk. Be grateful you survived, don’t make it a way to one up others.
Milania made me laugh! That kid has spunk, and a mind of her own.
I loved when she grabbed the camera and started snapping away.
I found it disrespectful to the photographer. Had she dropped it he would have been out a couple of grand. Tre and joe aren’t going to pay it.
I was a portrait photographer for a few years. You have to expect things like that in that business. Oh, and there were many occasions where a parent would BACKHAND their child if they did not sit still and smile. If they did that in my studio, the sitting was OVER. Sometimes, I even called the cops. No regrets. If parents do that to their kids in public, imagine what goes on at home. Not in my studio. No way.
Reminds me of one of my worst teaching moments. I’d like to Heather this story with I am the teacher that lets kids go to the bathroom no many how many times they ask even if I know they are going to avoid something. But…
It was picture day. We had been lined up by class for quite a while. It was our turn to go and one of my girls asked to go pee. I told her she needed to wait until our pictures were done, it would just be a few minutes. Well when it was her time, she peed when the guy was taking her picture in front of A LOT of people. It’s was so bad. So, so bad. And I felt awful.
It was even worse when the pictures came back and hers captured the moment. I didn’t even give the family the pictures to see and just said they needed to sign her up for a retake.
Thanks for jolting that nightmarish memory. 🙁
On Tue, Jul 29, 2014 at 6:56 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Totally agree- Amber having the “cancer card” in, seemingly, constant play is icky. It’s just so fucking awkward.
There. See ya in hell.
Sari, not to worry, hell is where all the fun people are.
Ugh. Too hot for me. I hate heat. And humidity.
I would not be seen in public with Joe or Theresa if I were in that position either. You are judged by the company you keep and it could cause the man a major problem. I can’t believe how offended they all were, especially Melissa. Really? Why aren’t they offended by the disgusting crimes her sister-in-law and husband committed? It is gross that they still get to live the way they do when they declared bankruptcy and committed fraud. I hope they both go to jail. And to not understand why it is happening to her just shows the shallowness of this woman. This is the first episode I watched this season and is for sure the last.
Then why did he sign a contract to appear in a show with them? Are you daft?
According to TT, husbands don’t sign contracts.
No. They don’t GET PAID. Anyone appearing in screen signs a release which is a contract.
I love the NJ gas life.
This season is rough and I am starting to care less and less.
Glad I wasn’t on set with Milania. I would’ve been fired for child neglect when I accidentally locked her outside in the cold…with Teresa and her canolis.
The twins are annoying with a capital Yuck.
Oh yeah. Two whisper down the lane moments: I thought what Amber said was that Nicole broke up Nicole’s fambily. Not someone else’s. But Melissa relayed it with a bit of fluff saying she broke up another fambily.
And secondly, Jim the twerp never actually said to Bobby that he was afraid to get in a fight with the Joes or that they were going to hit him. But by the topi e it came out if one if the twin’s mouth, that’s what it was.
Exactly. I could have sworn Amber said “Nicole broke up ‘the family’,” meaning Nicole wanted out of relationship.
So I commented on one of her tweets about this and she actually replied so I asked and she said she said a family. I feel like a super sleuth. It doesn’t take much.
Jenn, thanks for clearing that up. Now we know Amber said it, Melissa repeated it, but did Nicole actually do it? As the world turns…
Broke up a family could still refer to her own family.
I am so with you on the cancer thing and was contemplating how I would comment about that. Please do not let every show be with a cancer story, that is going to turn into a “back in St. Olaf” big time!
Milania cracked me up as usual, but was giving me a little Linda Blair in the photo shoot. I def think that she might be somewhat encouraged to mouth off for the cameras. The prediction of the death of Joe’s dad is creepy and fascinating, especially if that was a real scene. It might make me call him and ask a few questions.
I am a cancer survivor and battled cancer throughout my last pregnancy and after my 4th child was born. It is scary to hear the word cancer out of the blue and as a mom with little ones, instantly your thought process goes to what if I’m not around to take care of them, be there for all the big moments yada yada. But you put on your shit kicking Boots and you beat it and move on. It annoys the pure piss out of me how Amber nonstop talks about “when I had cancer”. Guess what bitch, does does millions of others and sadly a lot lose the battle. You are still here and have reached your 5 year mark which is every cancer survivors goal (after winning the battle). Stfu and be thankful you are alive and stop using itas a crutch or astoryline.
Amen
Agreed.
WTF is with that giant necklace Dina is wearing in her talking head? Is she going to plow a field after the interview?
Watching WWHL and the twins are on (who by the way look nothing like twins to me). They both said that Amber made comments that she will be using the “cancer card” this season. They said she’s doing it for attention. Is that true? IDK.
Watched true blood tonight and Jaime Oliver. Have to dvr RHONJ.
Thank god you shared that.
As bitchy as Dina can be towards people she doesn’t like, I love that she refuses to drag her family into the spotlight. How tacky of Bravo, but I’m not surprised. That was really shady though the montage of Dina being the godmother of Audriana with pictures of Caroline spliced in!! lol lol
It was nice to see Joe’s mother and Teresa’s mother together for the first time in a long time at the tasting party. I guess Teresa’s parents no longer live with the Guidice’s with all the legal stuff going on. Audriana is gorgeous and a sweet loving little girl; she’s a good role model for Milania to follow. The twins and their spouses are definitely sucking up to the Gorgas/Guidices and trying to find a way to stay on the show. Amber has reinforced why I did not like her on the first episode. Amber tells the twins they,”can invite whoever (they) want”, to her party. Once they do so, she complains about all the extra people being invited to her house by the twins. I feel she is trying to guilt Melissa into being her friend again by throwing up the cancer card every chance she gets. I’m not buying her husband’s act when it comes to the Joes after reading the blog posted here about his pharmaceutical whistle blower case and he was well aware of their status before coming on the show. I do not believe he is the upstanding squeaky clean mortgage broker who “works with the feds” on fraud cases as he likes to portray himself. He may have been a confidential informant, but he is no hero by any stretch of my imagination. I felt sad when James Van Praahg mentioned Joe’s father being dead and Joe feeling like he had a lot of expectations to live up to, which could help explain the need to over shadow the Jones’ and everyone else. The issues with the Gorgas finances is a lot of nonsense. Joe was in the house flipping business which explains why they have moved so many times like Jeff Lewis. However, the quality and style of his work does not stand up to someone like Jeff Lewis. I believe he may be stuck trying to pay the mortgage on several properties that he is unable to sale, he may owe lots of money to his sub contractors (who have tied up his credit), and he is still trying to live like Donald Trump. So, the Gorgas came on the show for the money and not just a jealous filled quest for fame. There are cracks in the plaster and the Gorgas house of cards is going to fall soon.
So true about the Gorgas. They will end up losing their card board mansion. That’s why they moved out of it, they cant afford the mortage. Talk about champagne taste on a beer budget.
I’m happy Amber is a cancer survivor, but she needs to shut the hell up about it. It’s getting old already.
I would love for Jeff Lewis to make a special cameo appearance on RHONJ to give the Gorgas expert advice on the best way to flip their current mansion and advise them of what changes they need to make for the blue prints of their next monstrosity to make it salable. This would be must see tv and Andy needs to make it happen. 🙂
Yeah wasn’t that something when James thought Joe’s dad was dead, but it hadn’t happened yet? That tripped me out a little.
I’m not into this season. I wish they wouldn’t add so many new housewives at one time. I thought Milania was like 5, then I saw she was 7 – a little old to act out like that. I wonder how my kids would act with their lives turned upside down by camera crews filming them. Plus, if they disciplined her on camera everyone would have a field day.
For me the episode needed more Milania. Bratty kids can be so funny to watch. The cancer card with Amber is really annoying especially with her partners dodgy pharmaceutical background.
Milania provides much needed humor to this show ! GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF ME she is so funny & adorable I love her witty comments
If Milania is 7 years old she ‘s in elementary school. Wondering if she’s picked up the word “butthole”from school classmates? Teresa G. just smiles when Milania say that word. I would have a really hard time hearing my child say that word with someone around. On camera I’ve heard Milania say it a few times. Bet Milania scares the hell out of her classmates!
The twins walking out of the store with the store’s clothes still on, hopping in to an Escalade and needing to stop for $5 – $10 of gas was crazy. Another bankruptcy in the making?
Perhaps Melissa is teaching the girls the tricks of the trade on how to get free stuff.
Wonder what Richie is doing now that he can’t leverage everyone for free stuff because Kathy is no longer on RHONJ?
And either he’s kept his f’g mouth shut or they just don’t show it, but THANK YOU.
This is my first season watching RHoNJ and I am finding it hilarious–a whole lot more fun than most of the RH shows. I especially like that the women actually know each other outside of the show and some are even related.
It took me a while to figure out who was who. I am still not sure I have all the husbands/boyfriends straight.
Amber is evil. And I agree with her husband, he is a predator.
I don’t believe in spanking kids, but that Milania needs a time out about the same length as her Daddy’s jail sentence will probably be.
Great recap as usual, TT.
That’s what drew me to this franchise a few seasons ago. Unfortunately it was during the Teresa/Melissa drama so got old fast.
I wonder if the Gorga’s big truck is the business he went into with his tenant Kai Patterson.
I guess being on reality tv can be good for some business people. On WWHL, Rhino said his restaurant biz has picked up because of it. They had only 2 episodes shown at the time. Being paid to advertise instead of the other way around is a good deal, as long as you represent your product and yourself properly.
I wish the twins and everyone on tv would quit wearing lip gloss/lipstick that looks like frosted mucus. Either wear some color or natural moisturizer.
To Angel,
I agree with you on the lip glosses.
I also noticed that in one episode ( I think it was the first show) that Amber had on a very dark purplish lipstick on when Melissa, Teresa, Nicole and TeRESa and Dina were all together. After this episode, I noticed that on another episode that Melissa had the exact same color on her lips as Amber had had on her lips. Teresa walked through the front door in the 2nd episode with dark red lips.
Teresa obviously tried to locate the same color of Amber’s lipstick but Teresa’s lip color was WAY off. Teresa’s lip color was a “put off.” I’m guessing that Melissa probably asked Amber what color and brand of lipstick she was wearing and Amber told her. But with Teresa, who she thinks she herself knows everything , she figured she would look around the makeup counters and find the “right” color of lipstick similar to Amber’s and ended up WAY OFF BASE. I assure you that Teresa wasn’t about to ask Amber for the brand and color because we all know Teresa KNOWS everything ! 😉
You need to wear that frosty color to set off the extra dark spray tan. Ugh. I hate it too.
Dumb as a doorknob, that’s some funny shit considering not a one of them is in any danger of becoming members of MENSA.
“Does MENSA have something to do with your period,” she asks with a straight face? Or is it a new type of birth control?
Smart as a box of rocks.
On what planet would a legit banker be wanting to be hang out with Joe, the convicted federal bank scammer? Not exactly great for business. And Melissa is incensed about it? She’s starting to sound like Tre. And Milania……leave her alone. She’s just auditioning for a Stallone movie.
Jim is the CEO of Mortgage Now. That does not mean he is the owner. This company was founded in 1994 – 20 years ago which would have made him in his early 20’s? However, he may have bought the company. In any case, this company underwrites loans, which doesn’t necessarily mean it does the actual financing. Consequently, until further research proves otherwise, I do not think he is a banker.
Few privately owned mortgage companies finance the loans. Smaller mortgage companies have brokers who help people find mortgages at various loan institutions, get the best interest rates (albeit, very high) and then take a huge finder’s fee. They prey upon people who are unable to go to their local bank and apply for a mortgage because they have a sketchy credit history.
This can be substantiated by the audit that his company underwent in 2012. The report is the Feds audited Jim’s company and found that his company had improperly processed some HUD loans.
Translation: they fudged the numbers in order to procure loans for people who were not really eligible – over a half million dollars worth. Anything for that finder’s fee!!! And guess who takes the hit? The tax payers.
Wow…so he acts holier than though about Joe and Teresa but yet lied for loans the same as them?
Perhaps it only makes you a felon if you get indicted and convicted? Jim is a jerk.
Well actually,..yeah. You are inky a felon if you’re convicted. I think the word you want is criminal.
Only. Not inky.
I suspect Amber desperately wanted to be on tv. Jim’s profession and stance on forming ties with Joe and Teresa would be attractive to production. Obviously, they are featured on the show and this adds another layer of controversy. I believe Jim’s position on that and find Amber to be so obnoxious with all her cancer references in every unrelated conversation. She also looks like she is trying to copy Heather Dubrow in the perfect family home life area. I’d like to see what her parents look like, for some unfounded reason I see her with a big snozola.
I finally figured out what I find so off about Amber and her scenes. I feel like I’m watching a Christopher Guest mocumentary. The fire drill, practicing for the commercial, the very uncomfortable dinner scene, it all looks like you’d see in Best of Show or A Mighty Wind.
Ooh, you completely nailed it . . . choreographed, forced interaction with stilted dialogue and a ridiculous premise. We are the Greek chorus in this drama, hey? It’s all so . . . disingenuous.
They are right out of a Christopher Guest movie! Great insight.
Some of the comments about disciplining children on this board are a little Dickensian. Giving a spanking does not include back handing a young kid across the face. It’s all about poor parenting and the failure to set boundaries early and often in a child’s life. Allowing bad behavior without consequences leads to the kind of out of control displays that, unfortunately, occur with regularity in this household.
It’s really quite heartbreaking to think what might happen to all these children in years to come. On a lighter note, as a graduate of NYU, I applaud their efforts to maintain high academic standards for admission to the university. You just can’t buy your way in…namaste, bitch!
I’m a Tisch alum, and I must admit being a little too gleeful about Lexi’s turndown letter. Yes, I am a wretched, horrible person! I was wondering which college she applied to; I guess they didn’t ever say.
Can see little Milania with a empty bowl saying please sir, May I have some more?
Dickensian or maybe Draconian is right. If TT chooses to recap the new Bravo Extreme Parenting show, I am sure the boards will light up with all the critiques and comments.
Um…what do any of you know about Lexi, her character or her academic abilities or extracurricular activities such as volunteer and charity work? What makes you so sure she would not be a valuable contributor to any university??
I have no idea what the answers to those questions are. But she seems like a damn good kid. I’ve never seen on thing that indicates otherwise. Will you please share why you are damning her to community college?
But you’re still seeing “TV Lexi.” Who knows what she is really like in real life or what she’s really achieved.
We’ll that was what I said. Why do you chose to think the worst. I mean…it’s pretty easy to see when someone is pretending to be nice. I just think she is a nice kid. Innocent until proven guilty too.
Plus a bunch of middle aged Gladys Kravitz’ picking on a child makes me sick.
No one is damning her to community college; certainly it’s not an either/or proposition. I was just rather satisfied seeing her be declined because of course she would get in. How often do the kids on these shows not get what they want? It’s very rare that something happens that their parent’s money can’t and doesn’t fix. The only other example I can think of is when dim-bulb Albie Manzo washed out of law school. (Rutgers to boot!) Money couldn’t change that. It was a bit of reality that is rarely seen on “reality” TV.
I actually quite like Lexi. I think she’s one of the better kids of the Housewives franchise. I also suspect that she is going to end up getting in to NYU later in the season, as this was merely the Early Decision application. Otherwise, why would they show it at all if not to depict an initial disappointment followed by an eventual triumph?
No one is damning her to community college; certainly it’s not an either/or proposition. I was just rather satisfied seeing her be declined because of course she would get in. How often do the kids on these shows not get what they want? It’s very rare that something happens that their parent’s money can’t and doesn’t fix. The only other example I can think of is when dim-bulb Albie Manzo washed out of law school. (Rutgers to boot!) Money couldn’t change that. It was a bit of reality that is rarely seen on “reality” TV.
I actually quite like Lexi. I think she’s one of the better kids of the Housewives franchise. I also suspect that she is going to end up getting in to NYU later in the season, as this was merely the Early Decision application. Otherwise, why would they show it at all if not to depict an initial disappointment followed by an eventual triumph?
No one is damning her to community college; certainly it’s not an either/or proposition. I was just rather satisfied seeing her be declined because of course she would get in. How often do the kids on these shows not get what they want? It’s very rare that something happens that their parent’s money can’t and doesn’t fix. The only other example I can think of is when dim-bulb Albie Manzo washed out of law school. (Rutgers to boot!) Money couldn’t change that. It was a bit of reality that is rarely seen on “reality” TV.
I actually quite like Lexi. I think she’s one of the better kids of the Housewives franchise. I also suspect that she is going to end up getting in to NYU later in the season, as this was merely the Early Decision application. Otherwise, why would they show it at all if not to depict an initial disappointment followed by an eventual triumph?
You’re an asshole for wishing bad things on the kid. Period.
DEF CON = defense readiness condition.
Beginning to believe the Gorga mansion will be the new Chateau Sheree.. the Gorgas are certainly working very hard to convince us that they are really building this mansion a la She by Sheree.
What’s up with all the men in the talking heads this year? I didn’t count but it seemed like the men had more this episode than the woman who are the “stars”. Really weird.
Other than that, it was just more of the same, like someone else said it’s really hard to even get into this show this year.
Well, if anyone is wondering how to have an innocent baby and cultivate her into being Trash (with a capital T!), look no further than Melania and her parents.
I certainly don’t advocate hitting children, but I can say that if it was I who had behaved so impertinently to:
A. An adult
B. A guest in my home, and
C. Called him “a butt-hole” (the coup de grace),
I would not have been able to sit down for a week. Of course, my parents weren’t trash, so I would have known better in the first place. Even if Melania is “playing it up for the cameras”, why should they want her to? It isn’t adorable, it isn’t cute, it isn’t funny. It’s appalling. Why not play up your good manners and best behavior for the cameras?
Jim not wanting to hang out with Joe Giudice – for any reason at all – only elevates him in my esteem. Like they say in Jersey: you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. And the others, who couldn’t understand that (I mean you, Melissa, talking about Joe like he’s the victim), are showing themselves to be pretty flea-ridden.
Because I’m an anal schmuck, I had to look it up. I have no understanding why Milania would be attending. Maybe it now is in some ways similar to Comic Con who’s conventions deal with arts and entertainment?
DEF CON (also written as DEFCON or Defcon) is one of the world’s largest annual hacker conventions, held every year in Las Vegas, Nevada. The first DEF CON took place in June 1993.
DEF CON comes from the movie WarGames, referencing the U.S. Armed Forces defense readiness condition (DEFCON). In the movie, Las Vegas was selected as a nuclear target, and since the event was being hosted in Las Vegas, it occurred to Jeff Moss to name the convention DEFCON. However, to a lesser extent, CON also stands for convention and DEF stands for the number 3 on a telephone, a reference to phone phreakers.
Your comment on Melissa’s surgery is EXACTLY what I said to my husband last night. (He stands in the hallway every time I watch RH shows, complains about the trash TV, yet knows what is going on. But I digress.) Anyway, “That is how plastic surgery should look”. Now, who is her doc?
Yep, that’s how it goes down in my house too #judgementalhusbands
I wonder if she will own up to the plastic surgery or deny, deny, deny?
Loved this comment!
Was it just me or did the medium seem like he had a couple of lines before having his scene with Dina and Teresa haha? His delivery was bit overcompensating for my tastes.
Did you notice the editing of Lexi and DIna’s scene at the store? Lexi already had on the red snakeskin bracelet when she searched her tablet for the NYC decline, but editing made it look as if Dina gave her the bracelet after they had the talk. Not a big deal but ya know, it just further confirms the lack of reality and added spin which goes on in these shows.
Bobby is, in no way, attractive. Where would you even get an idea like that?
I didn’t think so either until I saw him in his uniform. That was ok
I thought he was unattractive the first two episodes, but in he looked good in his talking heads and at the bowling alley
I’m totally team Amber on this one. Since we can’t link, I’ll just ask that people read her blog. She BLASTS Melissa as she should and shows the twins as being super duper dramatic. She also shames Bobby for his part in everything.
Once again, Melissa looks like a selfish, petty disloyal friend. Par for the course.
Yet another reason you suck. You never wait for my blog roundups!
I am debting your five TTTs!
On Mon, Jul 28, 2014 at 6:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Don’t worry, I’ll comment on those too!! We need to wait until the twins write as well!! I’m just so excited. haha You know me, I’m like that cute little puppy that pisses every time it gets excited…
Yes but you are pissing yourself on my website! We are going to have to get you housebroken.
On Mon, Jul 28, 2014 at 7:50 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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“Her” blog. As written, as always, by a lowly Bravo staff blog writer. Ho, and I mean “ho,” hum.
Melissa doesn’t like being blindfolded and having things stuffed in her mouth? That’s not the message of Love Italian Style?!
Haaaaa it totally is!
Fascinating reading all these opinions on child discipline. Time well spent.
I beg to differ re: being dead doesn’t suddenly make someone likable. That was the best I ever saw my father-in-law and I was able to like him for the first time. Some people are so much nicer at room temperature.
Frappe, that is hilarious. Sad, but damn funny.
FYI, all gas stations in Jersey are full service. You cannot pump your own gas. How great is that!
I’ve been wondering something about the Giudices for a while: will there be a separate case from the State of NJ on tax (and potentially other) related charges? I know in some financial crimes there are sometimes two sets of charges at the federal and state level and sentences can run consecutively. I’m not loving Jim and Amber, but there may be some (light) truth to his claim that he’s worked w/ folks involved in Joe’s prosecution — it just may not be the federal case. Jim could have had contact w/ State of NJ staff on mortgage matters who are working on the driver’s license fraud or a forthcoming set of NJ based charges. It seems possible, even if Jim at other times is full of poo.
My speculation was apparently off here; apparently Jim was referring to the DOJ and this will become clear in a future episode.
I do still wonder what action NJ may take re state taxes; maybe just steep fines. If so, they’ll be another set of bad guys preventing Teresa from saving for college for her children, as she’s always intended.
Think whole deal w joe gorga and investment of “millions” very shady; does not make sense;
Because it’s a lie.
Payoff l?
Hey TT , do u happen to know why Jay Mohr quit blogging the RHONJ recaps ? I thought he was hysterical!
Not really. I heard he wanted to be paid by Bravo. But I might be making that up. It’s sort of a distant memory. TeeCee might know. I think she used to read them.
On Tue, Jul 29, 2014 at 6:24 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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All the crazy people drove him away.
Oh and bravo refused to pay him.
Bravo is one cheap fucking outfit. They must rake in TONS.