Well, I can’t put it off any longer. I actually did some dishes as a better option than watching this show, but I am now out of hot water and my back is sore from bending over the sink, it’s 4:30 and I haven’t done a post all day so views are sucking ass. It must be done. Thank the baby Jesus it is only a half hour show.
Okay, now my DVR has stopped working entirely. This is special. After 20 minutes of trying to get the show to play, I’m noticing that the problem is specific to this show. Even my DVR refuses to cooperate with this shit show. It looks like I will have to do the recap based on just reading the description.
Leann goes on a weekend trip with her southern friends. Hmm, Leann has southern friends? Leann has friends? That must have been interesting. It seems that they went four wheeling or something. Perhaps she got injured and had to go to the ER. Perhaps the injury caused to be unable to speak or tweet ever again. My TV is trying really hard to show this recording but the screen looks something like a Picasso. Oh wait, it is playing now.
Eddie is in a boxing gym explaining that he has been offered a series regular slot on a show that films in Dallas. The filming could last up to 7 months. He manages to mention Brandi in a scene that has absolutely nothing to do with her. He says it would be hard to leave the family for seven months. There is no way that Leann would allow him to be on location in Dallas for seven months. He is pretending that this is even a question.
Cut to Leann in a restaurant with her friends. Two seconds in and Leann is talking about Brandi. Something about Joyce telling Brandi she needs to go to rehab. Brandi is god awful. Brandi has no filter. But I can’t recall one time she has said the name Leann or really even Eddie on camera. These two constantly discuss her. She is their whole life. They literally have nothing else to talk about. Leann takes the southern friends to a stupid LA restaurant that serves nonsense like quinoa and bean sprout salads.
There girls did indeed go four wheeling but no one was struck dumb. I missed most of it because I am starving and get some clam sauce going.
Meanwhile, Eddie is doing manly things with his black friend. He’s macho and has friends from other ethnic backgrounds. His agent just so happens to call at this Kodak moment to tell him that he can have a three day weekend every third weekend and they will pay for his travel back and forth to California on those weekends. My first thought is every third weekend would fuck up the every other weekend schedule, but Eddie continues to play along with the script as if he has the final decision in this job offer. He sure is good looking.
Next up, the girls want to go line dancing. The problem is the only line dancing bar Leann could find in LA is Oil Can Harry’s, which is a gay bar. It looks like a lot of fun. Blowjob shooters were the specialty of the house it seems. They also have Karaoke which Leann pretended she didn’t know she would sing for the crowd. She pulled up some leather wearing gay cowboys to sing with her. They did NOT autotune, if you get my meaning. When drunk Leann gets home, she goes straight for the ice cream. Eddie talks to Leann and tells her he has decided all by his lonesome, not to take the job. Leann pretends like she would have been okay if he had taken the job.
They had scripted a romantic moment where Eddie picks her up and whisks her off to the bedroom, but Eddie accidentally (?) smashes her head into a wall. So I guess I got my injury anyway.
You folks better admit to watching this crap. I’m warning you now.