It’s Christmastime in New Jersey! I love a good Christmas episode! YAY! We start at Tre’s house where Tre and her family are setting up the family tree. Tre says it is great to stay home this year for Christmas and be out of the public eye. Um, Tre, the public doesn’t pay you any attention during Christmas, unless you are putting your entire Christmas drama on TV! With all of the ornaments breaking, I’ll be shocked if any make it to the tree. Especially because the parents are drinking Fabellini while Teresa tries to make out with a disinterested Joe. Tre tells Joe that people were talking about her at the “harvest party.” Joe says until they get their day in court to “prove themselves not guilty,” they can have any opinion they want because they know who they are. By the way, the words “not guilty” were frankenbite edits.
Joe and Melissa are putting up their Christmas tree too. And Melissa is saying crazy things in her talking head just like Tre. Melissa informs us that they sold their Montville home and are “shacking it up in a rental.” While that last part is true, after numerous issues with their rent to buy tenant, the deal has fallen through and Joe and Melissa claim they now want to move back to Montville. Antonia screams she does not like this small disgusting house! It looks to be at least 4,000 square feet on a couple of snowy acres. Poor things, their tree is too small for their little rental house. How will they cope?
The twins are at their parents to put up their tree. The twins’ mother is named Santa. For real. The twins’ father goes on some wine-fueled speech about Italian tradition as the family decorates their tree. Amber’s kids are making the most disgusting gingerbread house ever. But they seem to be having fun! In spite of Amber, who is odd.
Dina is the only one with real tree, but it is being set up outside and decorated with birdseed ornaments because she has so many odd critters that live with her that will tear up an indoor tree. I suppose this one they can just pee on. Dina says she is getting a bundle of divorce therapy sessions and hopefully, a couple of Percocets this year. Lexi got accepted to a college today but is still waiting for other offers. Dina’s sister Fran is there. Is that the one that used to live with Caroline with a pig ? Is that their mother and grandmother there too? Seems like Fran is cool with whoever has a camera filming them.
Dina and Nicole get together to go to lunch to talk about Dina’s divorce. And of course to rehash Amber’s birthday party. Nicole says Amber is definitely OCD and Dina says, “She’s an Amber alert!” Flash to Amber and her husband drilling the children like mini marines during a home fire drill.
Melissa and Joe and their youngest son go to an empty lot that apparently will not be the site of their new house. Melissa does a bit of revisionist history on why they moved out of the Monteville house in the first place. It was not as she said on the reunion to avoid her kids going to school with Teresa’s kids. Joe just wanted to be closer to work. I guess now that Joe’s work is driving a garbage truck, they can go back to Monteville and forget about building an LA chic house. I keep saying no one puts in a recording studio and then just decides to move to be closer to work, or Beverly Hills restaurants. Are you listening David and Yolanda? No one believes you. While Joe Gorga and the kid walk the empty lot, Melissa suggests that Joe pee on the lot while being filmed for a national TV show. Thankfully, Dina and Teresa drop by. Dina and Melissa have pleasant conversation despite Dina being a bit leery of Melissa. Joe tells Tre he is there for her. He’s not going to ask anything but he is there for her. He asks about the girls and Tre says that Gia is the only one that really knows anything is going on. There is that river in Egypt again. Teresa says she is not in denial. She says she has to just keep moving forward for her kids. Joe says Teresa doesn’t speak to him about her problems at all, she’s very private.
TwinTre meets with an interior designer for one of their restaurants. The new restaurant will be for Giovanni, who is graduating from high school. He wants to be a restaurateur like his father rather than going to college. His father will be his mentor.
Melissa and Joe go out to dinner with their cousins, Kathy and Rich and Rosie and Tre and Joe. Since Tre has a later call time, Melissa has time to catch everyone up on how Teresa is bearing up. Melissa says she is fine. Kathy said she was in Italy when she heard the news. Rich asks Joe Gorga how he is holding up. Actually, Joe Gorga looks like he needs support. Lots of alcohol is consumed. Everyone at the table is very supportive of Joe and Teresa. They exchange gag gifts. Teresa gets a dictionary! Wow, apparently a federal indictment or 41 really brings people together and cuts down on the table flipping!
Time family dinner with the twins. I want to eat Rino’s family dinner! There were several kinds of protein, lobster, steak and all sorts of pastas and side dishes. Nicole is back living at home since her divorce and there is tension in the house because of it. Nicole will be moving out now that she has a Bravo paycheck.
It Christmas Day 2013 and the Giudices have yet to plead guilty to their 41 felonies and the giant house is decorated to the nines and there are piles of presents under the tree. It looks like a movie. The girls get lots of a presents and a real live puppy. Do they allow puppies in orphanages? It does sort of look like the dog from Annie… and the girls are looking at a hard knock life…
Dina hates Christmas. She and Lexi did some Zen thing while I was looking for a picture of Annie and Sandy that I liked. I didn’t find one. I don’t think we missed much. Nicole shares custody of her sons with her ex and they leave at noon on Christmas for their time with their father. Nicole’s boyfriend Bobby gave her a ceramic wine bottle holder in the shape of a shoe. Joe and Melissa play outside with the kids.
With all the four girls tucked into one bed Joe and Tre celebrate privately. Joe gives Tre as card that says I can not imagine a life a home or a Christmas without you. Tre cries. There was a whole lot of frankenbiting of Joe’s conversation where he says they have to just keep on making money. But that was totally edited in. Joe says if he has to go on vacation he is worried about leaving her and the girls. Teresa says the family cannot function without him and despite what people say, this is not going to be their last Christmas together.