I’m not sure I am in for this whole Game of Crowns but we shall see. I’m going to give it one show and see what y’all think. I am emotionally wrought by the premiere of RHONJ so I hope it is funny and not tedious.
First of all, I’m a southern girl. I’ve done a couple of pageants because we all do down here. I appreciate the work and dedication that goes into Miss America and Miss USA pageants and affiliates. But by the time, you are Mrs. Anyone it’s time to put away pageant rivalry. I am much more against aging women pageants than kids pageants. Kids can get a boost of self-confidence by being in pageants if they don’t have overbearing parents telling them winning is everything. Kids learning to command a stage and speak in public at an early age is really beneficial as long as they are not being exploited. Grown women with families on the other hand, the are just proving that they can’t move on and enjoy the next facet of life. It’s sad and I am six minutes in and already appalled that these women who are married with children are so egotistical and teaching their kids that winning a beauty contest is something to important.
This show is making a HUGE deal out of “Mrs. America” despite the fact in some (yankee) states have to beg someone just to accept the title of say, Mrs. Rhode Island. I mean who even lives in Rhode Island, or Delaware or New Hampshire. Better yet, who can find them on a map? I’d be more likely to find Pakistan. They are pointless states that no one even cares about.
It’s so sad that these people from years ago are showing up to these pageants. OMG that one mutant looking woman just said Mrs. Rhode Island just wrote a check for her title. I suppose she did have to pay an “entry fee.” It’s a shame Mrs. Connecticut got breast cancer, because now she can use it to promote her “platform.” It’s rather despicable. Trust me. I had a sister with breast cancer. SOME cancer patients choose the path of milking everyone for everything they are worth at the end. Bad things don’t only happen to good people. I’m just saying. In fact a wise woman on the Interwebs once said, “Dying does not make you more interesting.” Neither does cancer. It I didn’t like you before you got cancer, I will not like you after. Especially if you seize the chance to make it your platform for Mrs. America.
This is giving me flashbacks to the time I moved to a very small town to teach a the local community college. I was asked to judge a pageant because they wanted an unbiased outsider, thankfully I had a previous commitment to judge an art competition, and managed not to get run out of town on a rail for not picking the mayor’s daughter. The art contest at a nearby college was way cooler, btw.
Sorry, can you tell I am bored?
I must say the mockery of the whole event by the former pageant queens in the audience is amused, “I hate her dress, it’s like she pooped out toilet paper.” It’s true and I am becoming more drawn in. OH GOD I NEED T.KYLE GIFS! Get that chick in the red dress with the glasses and the choker and the 96 year old neck bouncing up and down, T.Kyle! Suzanne, Susanna? whatever her name is wins Miss Tri State Potato Queen or something.
OMG I can’t believe what I am watching. Some chick with wrinkly boobs and blond hair with streaks of green, a clear insult to the MISS America franchise is … I don’t know what she is or why she is here but I can’t believe the Miss America franchise has not sued for this and is allowing this to happen. I just can’t. WTF is going on. This has gone too far!
Now they are plugging ephedra. I honestly cannot believe this show is allowed to air.
Okay, they are kidding us with this shit, right? Surely all of these people are in on the spoof?
Oh I was dozing when the mom married to the cop said in a talking head her husband would do whatever, even come to pageants to see her married. She was surprised her husband let their kid butter her own bread. It seems like it has been a while since she noticed her kid because she was very good with a knife. Just saying.
At the Mrs. Connecticut pageant, they have all the girls wave while saying, “See you tomorrow!” over and over. You know the photog really wanted them to say, “See you next Tuesday!” Really I am over this. Is it not done yet?
Two contestants wear the same outfit to the AIRPORT. Hilarity ensues. I can’t . Kill me now. FIX YOUR FACE! FIX YOUR BOOBS! Why does the blond bitches hair always stick out?
Next Time on Game of Crowns: There will not be a next time.