Well my escape to an Amish cornfield away from TT’s radiator was short lived, and I’m back on the chain to recap tonight’s episode of the Psycho edition of Big Brother. I’ve only watched minimal live feeds since the premiere, but so far I paid $26 to see FISHES more than the HG. I should have just bought an aquarium. The HG I see are usually just the guys. What’s up with that? Up until now the female HG are just supporting players for the Frankie-Zach-Devin-Caleb show; and that hot piece Cody is making my eyeballs fat from all that eye candy. #JawBreakers
Are you all digging the new colorful intro that debuted in the last episode, and did you notice that “Jacosta’s” name was spelled wrong? Twitter was in a tizzy because BB did that to the black girl. Now the spelling in the intro is corrected- J.O.C.A.S.T.A.
Brittany & Victoria won The Battle of the Block comp which ousted Frankie from the HOH spot and won Cowboy Caleb the sole HOH. Frankie is all nervous about being vulnerable to getting backdoored by Caleb, which would be acceptable to him anytime except for in the BB game. Caleb is pumped that he is HOH & that his nominees of Donny & Paola are still on the block. Donny & PowPow share a sweet scene where they refer to each other as best friends in the house as they regret having to be up against each other for eviction; and Donny gets choked up with emotion while Paola feels responsible for doing poorly in the comp. Cue the piano instrumental as they hug it out. That’s an unlikely friendship isn’t it? PowPow wants Donny to stay over her which surprises her because she tells us that she is a selfish person outside of the BB house. Isn’t this the chick that said she was going to be fake & cut throat? She needs to relight the flame on her firecracker if she wants to be called PowPow.
Up in the HOH room Caleb, Devin, & a nearly nude Frankie were impressed with Donny’s performance during the comp as a strong competitor. They think Donny is a threat and are not going to be fooled by his age & country disposition. Devin reminds us again of his charm & charisma that he is the glue to holding the bomb squad alliance together. OK you all can stop laughing at the Big D now.
Later Donny is emotional & cries to Devin because he feels the love & warmth from the rest of the house. I don’t know if Donny is acting or not, but Devin sure is. Even though they hug it out, Devin doesn’t give a shit and tells us he is not falling for the attempts at sympathy as he laughs at Donny for being a great actor.
Nicole has a phobia of ghosts, and her neurosis has convinced her that one lives in her Fire Room themed bed room. Nicole has even turned her BFF Christine into a scurrdy cat about the noises from behind the walls. It’s the production crew you MORONS. Gawd this is ridiculous show filler.
There is some bizarre conversation in the HOH room between Donny, Amber, Frankie, Devin, & Caleb about Donny having hairless legs due to his “tall glass of water socks”. After Donny leaves crazy cocky cowboy Caleb declares 100% that Donny is an ex-military because he has hairless legs from army boots rubbing on his legs. Dumb Devin stereotypes people from the South as being serious about wearing fatigues & serving their country. Devin is dumb as he is BIG and makes no damn sense. Both are convinced that Donny is some well-trained Navy Seal operative. We see a montage of Donny being more Gomer Pyle than a killing military machine while Frankie laughs at the both of their stupidity in his DR scenes. Using military jargon Caleb says that the bomb squad alliance has locked in on their target, and it is Donny, the #1 on the hit list for eviction.
While trying to sleep Devin asks Donny point black if he was in the military. Donny swears that though it was a dream of his, he is indeed telling the truth about being a grounds keeper for a school. Donny assures Devin he can prove it with pictures of his school, mom, dad, girlfriend, and his ONE ARMED brother. OMG why does this remind me of a David Lynch movie? Donny is rattled in his DR scenes because of Devin’s lack of trust in him and their Double D alliance which only Devin knows does not exist anymore. Donny goes for the heartstrings with a “trust” talk with Devin. In his DR scene Devin gets emotional about believing & trusting Donny. Hmmm maybe this big lug has a conscious & a heart after all for lying & backtracking on his alliance.
Since Caleb is the HOH, part of his duty is to assign the four Have Nots for the week. The dumbasses that volunteered are Hayden, Joey, Brittany, & Cody. The Have Nots get an endless supply of frozen “slopsicles”. They also have to sleep in a very cold room on an ice-hard bed with only crinkly foil blankets to sleep with.
Joey is BAD at numbers because she wants the first 4 girls alliance, El Cuatro, to include all the girls. YAY we finally see Jocasta speak in her DR scene as she says this alliance of all-girls won’t work against a suspected all-guys alliance. Thanks to Devin it’s not an all-guys alliance any more with Amber & Christine loosely part of it now. Amber thinks she doesn’t need to be part of the girls’ alliance, and is less than interested. #EpicFail
Derrick the cop is observant and suspicious of the girls meeting in the bathroom. He goes to the HOH room to tell Caleb & Devin that the girls are scheming. Caleb misuses a word and says the girls are “segregated.” I have no idea what word he was trying to convey but Dumb Devin understands dumb-speak and says “whoever stirs the pot the most must go.”
Later in the night Amber goes to the HOH room, and Caleb uses military jargon again to describe the girl’s scheming. Amber confirms that there is plotting going on, but she is only just observing and not part of it. Caleb is annoying the fuck out of me with these military references as he makes sounds of bombs dropping to destroy the girls’ alliance.
Joey senses a weird vibe in the house, and Devin is giving her stares as he robotically asks “Can I play chess with you.” Joey who has never watched Big Brother volunteers to clear the air and outs the all-girl alliance that NEVER was. Why are stupid Smurf haired people playing this game? Now Devin has a bull’s eye on Joey’s back and calls her the worst player in BB history (next to him) because in his rule book no one else can scheme & play the game of BB. Joey defends her failed scheme in the name of game play & feminism. YESSS feminism. Insert laughter here.
It’s time for the POV comp. HOH Caleb along with nominees Paola & Donny are playing as well as Victoria, Zach, & Cody. Cocky Caleb confidently tells us he will eat his hat if Donny, Victoria, or PowPow win POV. Later in her room Paola is crying under her covers. Her confidence is low, & she is nervous playing against strong guys. I thought this chick was supposed to be a tough firecracker? Jocasta gives her words of encouragement with a prayer followed by some finger snapping Amens. #Halleloo. So far I am enjoying Jesus Jo.
The POV comp is called “Miami Lice” hosted by Jocasta. Ok this is HILARIOUS because in my mind this comp name is deliberate shade against last years BB15 cast. Though BB15 is over, metaphorically they left their nasty lice (reputation) behind, and the BB16 cast is going to de-lice and clean up the crabs left behind from GM’s matted weave, McCraes uncleanliness, & Andy the rat. The costumes are bright pastel colored suits a la Miami Vice. It’s a gross idea for a comp that involves a huge head floating in a huge bathtub with lice. The lice also serve do double duty as letters that are used for spelling. Whoever spells the biggest word correctly wins POV. Fast forward with details because I am late getting this posted. Cody misspelled his word; and Caleb, Victoria, & Paola had incomplete words. Zach’s word was “warning”. Donny formed the word “splitters”. The HG are perplexed by the word, but it is a correctly spelled 9 letter word and Donny WON the first POV of the season.
OK Amber is walking back into the house with Donny and she is wearing these booty shorts and that girl has LEGS for days. #Dayummm. Caleb wants Joey to replace Donny since she tried to get the girls to go against the guys. Caleb is creepy & intense as he arrogantly tells her she messed up while Joey wusses out by apologizing to him for playing the game with hopes that being honest spares her from being nominated. NOT. Caleb nominates Joey as the replacement nominee for eviction after Donny uses the POV on himself. So Paola & Joey are on the block for eviction tomorrow night.
I only recapped the TV show & didn’t even go into all the live feed drama which is way MORE interesting & psychotic. I read the live feed updates, so it’s weird recapping this episode because to me this is old news because these are scenes from days ago. I watch the TV version because I am only interested in the diary room scenes to get insight into HG minds. So far they have not showed or hinted to the TV show viewers how disturbed Devin & especially Caleb are. If you are a live feed watcher feel free to keep us updated with all the latest below, and spoilers are encouraged. Stalk me like an obsessed Big Brother HG on twitter at @Urethra_F