I know I am watching this by myself and I hate you all for that. I gave Botched! two episodes today. You guys should respond in kind. What the fuck are you watching in this timeslot anyway?
The way over priced Trump Royale penthouse she has thirty days to sell is going to be her demise. And for some reason she is sitting at card table on a street corner using it as an office. I guess it is an outdoor café, but it looks fake. You know, like all of Miami.
Sam meets with Chris to get advice about the listing. Chris says to meet with the co-lister and say she needs to get the owner to reduce, or withdraw from the listing. Sam really wants to impress the owner so she is hesitant. Sam has $25K of her money in the listing. Sam meets with Rachel the co-lister to tell her she needs a reduction. BTW, neither agent believes in Botox. In Miami. But they disagree about withdrawing. The meeting with the client is full of tension because the two listers disagree. Sam withdrew from the listing. He took it away from both of them. He friend now hates her. The new agents lowered it to $8.5 million. It’s still on the market….
Likewise, Chad has a terrible co-listing with a part-time agent and homeowner. If he is such a hot shot, why did he agree to that horrific situation? After she cancelled the open house at the last-minute last week, he should have just thrown in the towel.
It’s time to do the open house again. It’s party replete with dancers. The focus is on party house. The house is listed for $3.995 million. It’s the cheapest house on the island so it should be an easy sell. Sam arrives to the party, and returns the favor he started last week by disrespecting his open house as cliché with the whole sex sells approach. Then he takes everyone to da club to party. The homeowner owns the club.
Chad gets an offer of $3,295 on the listing. The buying agent says the house is basically a teardown. He goes up to $3.4 million. Chad seems to be refusing to present which, at least where I live is illegal. All offers must be presented. The guy returns with $3.55 million. Chad finally presents the offer after no presenting the first two. Such a dumb move even if it were legal. The husband balks and says find some way to make me interested in the offer. The wife convinces him to take it. Chad has his first close of the season. I think the took too little of an offer.
The only realtor that has had a closing so far it Chris. It took me most of an episode to like him, but now I do. He’s gay and he’s fabulous and what more could I ask for. He is at a polo match seducing his new client, Senada. Wait, she is not the owner, she’s the prospective listing agent. He wants to co-list with her. He gets the listing. Because, he already had it and they thought the polo thing would be pretty. It was.
The listing is… perfectly situated, but very European hotel. It doesn’t speak to me as a place to live, but just a 6,000 square foot hotel room with sharp edges everywhere that I would not want to get drunk and fall down on. It’s WAY too modern for my taste. No thanks, I’ll pass on this one, despite it being the most expensive place in Boca Raton. Chris wants to like it for $20 million, the other agent says $13.5. It is listed for $13.95 million. Chris’s hands are tied because he is the secondary agent. He feels the property is grossly underpriced.
Chris wants a very classy, elegant open house with a harpist and white glove champagne service. His co-agent says she thinks the buyer will be male (she is right about that) so she wants a bikini contest. Um, really? While I agree that this is a masculine apartment, a bikini competition would exclude all the rich gay males. Miami is full of rich gay males. WTF is she thinking about? Plus, Chris is bringing in European and NYC clients. I am not buying that this woman is serious.