I like this show well enough, but I keep putting off recapping until there is absolutely nothing else to post about. I’m not sure why I do that. Anyway, I’m going to try to cover two episodes here really fast.
The War of the Weisses
Tim and Kelly need help dividing up a few of their assets. Tim is a fireman and former Marine. Kelly said his Iraq tour messed with his head and made him an angry person. Tim admits he is an asshole. They have a great apartment with fantastic views of Chicago. Tim says out of his platoon of 30 only one marriage has stayed together. They all came back with PTSD. There is a lot of focus on Tim’s issues. Who cares? Let’s get on to the stuff.
First up is the shoe collection. I can’t understand how this is even an issue. Personal clothes should be a no brainer. There are two swords they bought for $137. These are two tit for tat issues. Actually, there is another tit for tat. The equity in the rental property they own versus half of Tim’s pension.
The appraisers value the shoe collection at $4,500. They value the swords at $4,000. This seems pretty cut and dry to me. She gets the shoes, he gets the swords. Vikki does that, but she gives Kelly a $2,000 credit. I think that is wrong. Kelly gets $130,000 (100% of the equity.) Tim gets the pension. But, he must leave Kelly as the beneficiary in the event he dies. Tim agrees.
This episode was boring. This split was not rocket science.
To D or Not to D
Dave and Emily have an art collection, a jewelry collection and a set of fine china. I’m all in on this one. Those are totally my three favorite things. Again, I don’t think the guy should have any say in the jewelry collection. Emily is a shopaholic. Dave is divorcing her because of her spending. He also said she gets him nothing for Christmas. Dave plans to move to Hawaii.
They have some Alexander Chin artwork. I have no idea who that is, and it was purchased for $2,000. There are two pieces it seems. So, um duh. The jewelry was inherited by Emily from her mother. It doesn’t look at first glance like it is worth much. Lomonosov china is up next. This I am familiar with and I expect it to be worth the most. It’s beautiful. I say he gets the china and one painting. She gets the jewelry and one painting.
The assessors come to look at the paintings. There seems to be four of them and two of them are both of their favorites. Ha! They did the pearl test on their teeth. I’ve gotten lots of looks in flea markets for doing that. It works!
The assessors value signed prints are valued at $800 for the four. I think that is being very generous. Regardless they both want the actual prints and not the money. The jewelry is valued at $30,000. There must have been a lot of pearls in there. The assessors got really hyped up over some jade. Um, really? Jade? I have some I would like to sell these two. The china was valued at $1,500. I would buy that service for six at that price. I now need to change my recommendation to Kelly getting the jewelry and Dave should get all of the “art” and the china, and possibly a small credit for Dave.
Here is what Vikki decided. She split the art 50/50. She lets Kelly keep the jewelry and gives Dave a credit for half the value. The assessors and Vikki seem to think that the china is nothing special because it’s made in the 1990s. Um, yes, porcelain is still being mass-produced, and it’s still expensive. She gives the china to Kelly and tells Dave he can buy more with his jewelry offset.
Kelly and Dave are very nonchalant about settlement. Emily doesn’t want a divorce. Dave doesn’t think Emily really cares. Vikki is giving her a script of what she needs to say, but the words are not coming from Emily. She’s too reserved to show passion. Dave says he will wait 45 days for Emily to try to put their marriage back together. I don’t think 45 days is going to help.
And it didn’t, Dave went ahead with the divorce 45 days later and is probably in Hawaii drinking Mai Tais right now.