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You are here: Home / Million Dollar Listing Miami / Million Dollar Listing Miami Premiere: Do You Know How Many Lip Injections That Will Buy?

Million Dollar Listing Miami Premiere: Do You Know How Many Lip Injections That Will Buy?

June 26, 2014 by tamaratattles 16 Comments

Million Dollar Listing Miami Cast

Time to recap Million Dollar Listing Miami!  I love shows set in Miami, but sadly they never seem to do very well. Here’s hoping everyone likes this one. It features the first female agent on any Million Dollar Listing franchise, her name is Samantha and she has her own company. She’s the underdog. The other two agents, Chris and Chad are with Douglas Elliman, the big company that Fredrik and Luis work for.

Sam has only been in the business for three years. She’s been focused on Ft. Lauderdale in the two million range. Now she wants to break into the high-end luxury Miami homes. She has a cute boyfriend. Sam is about to co-list the largest listing of her life with some blonde who has never sold a thing but has a lot of contacts.

Sam and her co-lister go to meet with a big fish in Miami development. It’s a gorgeous two-story penthouse with four bedrooms, a private pool  and fantastic ocean views. It’s at a Trump hotel and comes with room service. I need room service here at the ghetto shack. Sam’s interview with the Big Fish, is going very badly. Sam is not a strong negotiator. She promises to sell the house in 30 days and it’s very over priced at $9 million. The blonde chick, is furious Sam promised him a closing in 30 days. Sam is in way over her head.

Sam has invited every broker in town to her open. Her co-lister has obscene plans for food and entertainment. She says the cost will be $25,000. The blonde girl has really bad vocal fry. The broker’s open is on with 25 days left on the listing. The owner shows up. That is never good. Sam sort of knows Chris and Chad.  Both of them arrive at the open. Chad is making negative comments about the penthouse. Chad insults the owner and says the place isn’t worth more than $6.5 million. Great friend he is. Chris was very nice to Sam.million-dollar-listing-miami-chris

 

Chris has a maid who wakes him up and fetches his green juice for him. He’s gay with lip injections and some sort of eating disorder. He’s cranky. By cranky, I mean annoying, and so is his client. Chris goes to his listing at Bal Harbour (which is really the only place I’ve ever been in Miami) it’s at the St. Regis. Which is by far Bravo’s biggest product placement, which makes the whole thing suspect to me.

Chris loves to do business from his bathtub. The St. Regis does not allow open houses so he will have to qualify all of his prospective buyers before showing them. Chris shows the listing, but his people have already signed a contract on a property that is not yet built.  The Russian buyer wants to call her mommy and daddy for advice.

Chris’s Russian client arrives with the client to a negotiation. Who does that? Then the agent gives him an offer to lease for six months, with an option to buy. Chris gets the seller to agree to full ask with a million in escrow during the rental. Deal done.

Chad is going on a listing meeting on Palm Island. He is going to co-list a big property with a new female agent in his office. There are some great things about the house. Mostly the view. But a lot of this house, particularly the bathrooms seem very dated to me. It needs renovations. The house is overpriced. Chad has to try to get him down. He gets him down just a bit to $3,995,000

Chad is having a night party with a liquor sponsor and dancers  as his open house. Oh the new house  is owned by the co-lister. this will be a nightmare. And a nightmare it is. Hours before the party, Stacey cancelled it without speaking to him about it.

So, what do we think about the Miami franchise?

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Filed Under: Million Dollar Listing Miami Tagged With: Bravo, Chad Carroll, Christopher Leavitt, Douglas Elliman, Miami, Million Dollar Listing Miami, Samantha DeBianchi

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. tamaratattles says

    June 26, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Miami curse strikes again? I didn’t like Chris at first but I did by the end. ​

    On Thu, Jun 26, 2014 at 12:55 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

    >

    Reply
  2. Angel says

    June 26, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    I always watch shows filmed in Miami, mostly for glimpses of ocean, beach, and fabulous homes. So far, 2 of the three realtors I prefer to the last time another network did a similar show. I like Chris best after the first episode. Sam looks like a cookie cutter version of another reality actor that was on an LA based show about 7 women in different areas of the food industry. I am always a bit startled by how many rich foreigners own from single condos to huge skyscrapers in America, often for investment only, they want a piece of our lifestyle here or make money off of us but do not like us. This seems to be cultivated since the wealth is no longer among many of us. I find this sort of sad. Just how many American’s that do not speak Russian buy apartments in Moscow because they can?

    Reply
  3. Sue says

    June 26, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    Meh….they didn’t impress me at all. Not sure if I’ll watch again.

    Reply
  4. GiGi says

    June 26, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    I agree, they are definitely hard on the eyes. Is this all Miami has to offer. Maybe they should ditch trying to do anymore Miami shows.

    Reply
  5. Gingersnap says

    June 26, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    I wasn’t feeling Miami too much. It felt a little lackluster and the agents seemed a little forced. The real estate was fantastic and the scenery beautiful, of course, but the agents…mmmm…I dunno. I may give them another shot, but then again, I may not. It was pretty boring.

    Reply
  6. Karma Grant says

    June 26, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    Crap, I forgot it was premiering this week. I thought it was next week. Though I see on the dvr that next week MDL-NY is having a lost footage episode. Ugh. Thanks for the recap that I haven’t read yet LOL 🙂

    Reply
    • Karma Grant says

      June 26, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      Crap! I just realized (while looking at my reminders list) that Botched premiered this week too.

      Reply
  7. thetatumtalks says

    June 26, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    It was just alright. Did anyone notice how unattractive Chad’s girlfriend is? I know, I know…I’m mean (even though it’s the truth).

    Reply
    • Karma Grant says

      June 30, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      Yes, I noticed. Bleh.

      Reply
  8. Jo says

    June 27, 2014 at 6:59 am

    What an awful show! They couldn’t find better realtors than that!!!

    Reply
  9. Greenwood says

    June 27, 2014 at 10:46 am

    Is it just me, or did this entire show (all the people and all the scenes) seem 100% fake? I know all the Bravo shows are full of fakery, but this one seems more fake than any other reality show I’ve seen so far! It felt like some writer wrote the script, and they hired wannabe actors to fill in the parts, and used pretend locations, and absolutely nothing is even remotely real. The “real estate agents” are all extremely unlikeable and struggling to fit the role. I absolutely hated it! Can’t watch another minute. It makes me itch.

    Reply
  10. Karma Grant says

    June 30, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Just now watching. Sam said the penthouse could take years to sell. She’s insane. Sure, it’s overpriced but no way would that property sit for years. Not digging her. She reminds me of Patty Stanger facially.

    Chris and Chad I kind of like, more Chris than Chad. So far Chad is only ok to me because he reminds me of Josh Altman from MDL-LA.

    Reply
  11. NOT Watching Again says

    June 30, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    This show was a waste of time. Yes, Chad’s girlfriend has the broadest face of all time. She’s basically a man with lipstick on. It’s shocking that he doesn’t realize he could do better.

    It seemed SO over the top fake – Chad coming to Sam’s open house to talk shit? How unpredictable! Chris is annoying, Sam is unattractive and annoying, and Chad is annoying.

    It’s a shame that 2 British guys have replaced Madison on Million Dollar Listing LA. I’m sick of all of our shows having a Brit on them. It’s disgusting how much some Americans are obsessed with the accents.

    MDLNY is my favorite of the entire franchise and I’m crushed that two Brits will ruin MDLLA. The Miami franchise needs to be canceled.

    Reply
    • Mina says

      June 30, 2014 at 6:56 pm

      I loved Madison!!

      Reply
  12. Mina says

    June 30, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    Me either. I couldn’t make myself care. I would rather watch MDLNY any day!

    Reply
  13. John says

    August 15, 2014 at 1:11 am

    I cannot stand Sam. She is quite possible the most annoying person on bravo. I would never trust her with my money or real estate. She says nothing original. Everything out of her mouth is regurgitated real estate jargon. C’mon Sam use your brain. Her personality is fake too and learned from ‘how to act like you have a personality so your friends think you have one’ manual. She is the straw that broke the camels back on this show. Miami just can’t cut it.

    Reply

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