Juliet and Marissa go out for drinks. I am really starting to become interested in London, and I have always preferred other places as a travel destination. The Yanks are throwing a Fourth of July party. Marissa is already suggesting that Juliet’s cardboard cutouts and party ideas are tacky. They are. Marrissa suggests “jam jars” for the glasses because it is so Americana. Carole is offended by the whole July 4th thing. Of course she is.
Caprice’s publicist calls to tell her she is on the cover of Daily Mail. What they don’t tell you is that she was a fashion fail and they HATED her bug dress. Gotta love reality TV.
Time for tea and scones with Annabelle (is that her name?) and her granny who is regaling us with fascinating stories about the Queen of Sweden. So cute.
Enough cuteness. Now we have Caroline ruling her office. She’s upset that her “jelly tots” (candies) are not color coordinated. Dear Lord, the dollar to pound ratio is still horrible. London suddenly looks less appealing again.
Annabelle says “Alexander McQueen” eleventy billion times. Fashion is really hard work. No dear, ditch digging is really hard work. Fashion, is just clothes.
Marissa is hosting the 4th of July party at her husband’s restaurant. Will there be spotted dick? Perhaps. The chef brings out fantastic ribs. Matt dismissing them as too messy. The chef tries a burger. They suggest he make it a slider. He tries a lobster roll. Matt says it is not British. Marissa loves it. It is after all, an American themed party, Matthew.
Sidenote: I think I would be afraid of The Eye (ginormous ferris wheel in London). I experienced many a childhood trauma on ferris wheels as a child traveling in Europe, and I am still receiving therapy for it. But I sort of want to go on it… Would you? Google it, it’s really, really big.
Marissa has great taste. I love her red, white and blue dress. How did she find one that is so civilized? Juliet shows up in Daisy Dukes.
Sidenote: Speaking of childhood trauma, the only thing I really remember about London is being very upset that Piccadilly Circus was not in fact a circus. My mother was less than kind about the news and felt like I was intentionally being bratty. To this day, I still say, you don’t tell a child you are going to a circus and then be all, ha! ha! don’t be ridiculous, everyone knows it’s not a circus. I still don’t know what it is. And I don’t care.
The guests arrive at the party and Caroline, rightly makes fun of Juliet’s hideous Daisy Dukes that she has chosen to pair with what appears to be a straight jacket. Really? For this Caroline called in her gay makeup artist?
This is the prettiest 4th of July party I’ve ever seen. Martha Stewart has been put to shame by Marissa. Juliet is interrupting Annabelle’s conversation with her friend Julie about her training for the horse race. Juliet never shuts up. Annabelle is abrupt with Juliet, but Juliet is annoying as fuck.
Marissa is adorbs.
I LOVED Juliet’s rendition of our national anthem. I thought she did well. And Annabelle is sort of a cunt. So friend of Marissa and Juliet arrives with a lot of lovely panties. Because, I mean who doesn’t like free panties. Apparently, Annabelle doesn’t like free panties. Annabelle leaves and Juliet goes outside after her. Annabelle is awful. Juliet is annoying but it’s Juliet’s party! When Juliet goes in to talk to the others Caprice stalks out after Annabelle like she is some sort of injured party. Oh dear God, let’s all rally around Annabelle because she saw some lingerie at a fourth of July party. Caprice goes after Juliet. Caprice seems to thing there was “a fight.” Chile please. #KnickerGate did not even approach a fight. Annabelle has a royal hissy because she saw some pink panties. Suck it up Annabelle.
I love this show. Which means it will probably be cancelled. What say you?