Oh Lord. I don’t know why I feel like I must do this. I feel like I have seen the train wreck and I might as well look. Why is Tori always in bed? She is going to narrate the whole show from her bed. UGH. She is trying to use her sexy voice, or her hosting voice, or some voice that is not her true Tori voice.
In this unseen footage therapy session, Tori basically accuses Dean of lying. Tori wants us to know they were having lots and lots of very kinky sex. She rages about it to her therapist. But she whisper yells to us that she doesn’t want to divulge their specific kinks because, “A lady never tells” but that “Donna Martin definitely graduated.” I’m going to need someone to admit to watching 90210 to explain that inside comment.
Tori is crying the ugly cry because Dean went out for a hamburger when he had filet mignon at home. They are literally discussing that quote. Next up, “sometimes a haircut is just a haircut.” Oh wait, it’s not about the haircut, it’s about Canada.
Tori just called yelling, “using her big voice.”
I am not sure I can go on.
Hey I know, let’s talk about the suicide storyline that a lot of people don’t even believe happened. Tori did not want to talk about that on TV. And yet, they did talk about it. Now, in hindsight, Tori is glad they did talk about it because it makes HER look like less of a doormat. Those were her words.
Why can’t I stop watching this.
Long scene about why the Heidi Handjob said that they cuddled all night? When and how did Tori even talk to Molly Goodhand? Why has that never been explained? Why hasn’t any tabloid on the planet been able to track her down?
Is it wrong that while Dean and Liam were in the bounce house I was wishing it was one of the ones that got airlifted into the sky?
More unseen footage where Tori says that Dean made her father’s death all about him and she was not allowed to grieve. Which is odd because when it comes to Tori, everything is about Tori.
Horrific scenes with Tori crying in front of Liam. Liam basically says he is behaving himself because clearly mommy is sick. Just awful to watch.
Tori’s entire point with this discourse is to make sure we all understand how hard this is on her. Why is everyone so concerned for Dean and the children when she is the victim??
Okay, I really tried but I can’t go on with this.
Hollywood Life reported today that Tori and Jennie Garth are reuniting in a comedy called Mystery Girls. Something about two actresses who played detectives on a TV show who hook up to solve a real life mystery. Welp, I guess that’s a paycheck…
Sorry. I’m really out now.