Let’s see what I missed on I Wanna Marry Harry last night. I still can’t seem to resolve my taping issue on Tuesdays at nine. I think I should start taping Harry and watching Deadliest Catch on demand. We shall see. For now, let’s look a some American idiots in London. Because it’s fun.
Karina is the lucky girl in the Royal Suite this episode. As usual, it begins with breakfast, this time, in his bedroom. Harry leaves her alone so that she can find a photoshopped picture of fake Harry and Prince William. It’s all very scripted. But are the girls in on the joke or not? Karina reports her findings to the girls. Curly brunette Kelley is thrilled that her suspicions have now been confirmed.
Wait, all Karina got was tea and toast? For some reason, we are already doing the group date. Two of the girls will go horseback riding, the others will muck the stables. Drunk Maggie and Chelsea, the twerking expert are chosen to ride horses. I’m hoping for a good one liner from Meghan about the horseshit. Matt is not much of a horseman despite his extensive prepping. Chelsea is not buying into the Price Harry stuff, she just wants to meet a nice guy. She asks him if he has ever dated a black chick. He says no, but he is open to it. Maggie asks if he has ever dated a drunk. Oh wait. No she doesn’t.
Have we had a two on one date on this show before? The chosen ones sit down with Harry and beer is served. Maggie is thrilled. Chelsea points out that Maggie loves her some alcohol. Maggie is pissed. Harry is not sure what the cause of the tension is because he doesn’t usually see Maggie being drunk off her ass every night. Later, Maggie goes off in front of all the girls at dinner about Chelsea throwing her under the bus. Chelsea claps her hands in front of Maggie’s partially sober face and tells her to pump her brakes. Maggie does the “close your mouth” gesture with her hands. Kelley is appalled that everyone is not “focused solely on Sir.” If Kelley doesn’t “win” she will be crushed. Really, really, crushed. Like sobbing throughout her favorite movie, The Notebook, crushed.
This episode needs more Kingsley, the butler. Oh and just like that, there he is! Apparently Karina does get her one on one date after all. Karina flies off in a helicopter with Harry. Anna Lisa is not falling for the Prince Harry ruse. This infuriates Kelley.
Harry is pointing out all the sites from the helicopter and praying he has everything right. Harry is so nervous and humble and cute. They arrive to a private car which takes them to a speed boat tour of the river. There were some planted Prince Harry fans to scream, “We love you Harry!” as they went under the bridge. So romantical. Harry and Karina kiss. Karina is in love. Matt says there is a lot of chemistry between them and it’s really exciting. They “quite like each other.”
Meanwhile back at the castle, the bitches are fighting again. Everyone seems to dislike Chelsea for some reason. I think she is probably just too smart to have anything in common with the fools.
Later that night, Karina gives the full blow-by-blow including the screaming girls and the details of the kiss. Drunk Maggie is jealous. At dinner time, Chelsea doesn’t go down to dinner because she is annoyed by all the women. Meanwhile, “Sir” calls Karina to his suite for drinks and a makeup session. Harry is conflicted about lying to Karina because he has feelings. Meanwhile, the girls that went to dinner are slamming shots. The girls wonder if they are having sex. Kelley cries in her talking heads.
Chelsea meets with Harry and tells him that she is out of the competition because she can’t deal with all the cattiness from the girls. Harry half-heartedly asks her to stay, but she leaves. Chelsea did not name names but Harry thinks he knows who “the bullies” are. This should be interesting.
It’s time for a garden party. Kelley is the most desperate girl ever to breathe on this planet. I hope he sends Kelley home tonight. It’s for the best. However, they probably won’t send anyone since Chelsea left.
Anna Lisa, the last remaining skeptic, is grilling Harry. She says he doesn’t have enough freckles, and the nose is wrong. He is struggling with his answers to her questions. Harry changes the subject and asks about her and it seems to have worked.
There is Meghan’s quote! She is talking about all the eye humping they are doing in front of the other girls while playing footsie in the hot tub. It’s not a good episode without a funny comment from Meghan.
Time for the crowning of the winners and losers. Since Chelsea left, we figure there is no loser. Harry calls for Anna Lisa. But wait, Kingsley is also back calling for Kelley. Kelley is crying already. I imagine they will keep Kelley and get rid of Anna Lisa because she’s not buying the premise. Kelley is crying and begging before Harry says a word. Harry sends home Anna Lisa. So for once I got this one right. Sort of. This is going to make Kelley crash and burn even harder when the inevitable happens. Bless her heart.
Next week, Kingsley tells the girls, that Matt is actually Prince Harry of Wales! I can’t wait!