Well, it’s time for the much anticipated True Tori Reunion. Okay, I know you guys probably didn’t watch and I was up until the wee hours binge watching The Face (I picked the winner in the first episode, btw.) trying to take a little down time. Plus, at least one of you is relentless about the “midget housewives show” so I know what you were doing last night. I’m sorry. I have to draw the line somewhere and mini housewives is below the line. Please drop that campaign. I realize all too late that I should have drawn the line above True Tori as well But now, I shall suffer through the show, for you, my faithful readers. First of all, how is this a reunion? There are two adults on the show who are married and live together. Are they reuniting after hair and make-up? I’m already mocking this shit.
Tori says that things are getting better with her situation. But first, let’s replay a montage of all the angry crying and stupidity some of us actually watched on this season. This show only seems watchable late at night after half a box of wine. It’s actually a comedy in the harsh, sober light of day. All of these whisper conversations are hilarious.
Tori says that she didn’t have any other choice but to film the spectacle that is her marriage because the tabloids would not stop talking about her situation. Really? I had never even paid the least bit of attention to this hot mess until the show was publicized.
The mean people on Twitter say that Tori is getting a taste of her on medicine. Tori says she just accidentally found her soul mate. Well, honey, what if Molly Goodhand, or whoever thinks she has accidentally found her soul mate now. 
Oh dear God. When asked why they chose to film this trainwreck in front of the kids, she says because she wants to preserve it for them to show them that they can get through tough times. She wants to sit down and talk with the kids about it later. I can see it now, “Hey Liam, bring the girls and lets have a family meeting where I show you film of your philandering suicidal father and how I got through it by crying and defending him on national TV without a modicum of dignity!” She wants to tell them about a happy ending. Plus, it was just two cameras and they are used to it, so it was fun for them. It doesn’t bother the kids. If they didn’t want cameras in their life she would stop it. Hmmm, I seem to remember a scene where Liam said over and over that he didn’t want to shoot the photo shoot scene and Tori gave him a cupcake or some sort of bribe to drag him on set. Tori says that she is proud of the woman she has become and she wants her kids to see that. Future psychiatrists everywhere check into private schools for their children as I type.
Tori says she is willing to ask Dean how many others there were. She says if there were more than she knows she should leave him. Oh, so we are back to square one.
Time for a one on one with Dean. He is asked why the hell he would go on TV and look like a ginormous douche and he says, “I needed money. I needed money really bad.” Oh wait, no he doesn’t he says he wanted to take responsibility for his actions. Then he says he hasn’t watched the shows. So they give him a montage of the bad acting. The host asks Dean if those reactions were as fake as they seemed. He said, “Oh course not, I’m not a good actor.” Oh wait, no, he doesn’t. He says it was all real, just like every “reality person” is required to insist.
Can Tori ever trust you again? Dean says well, all I can speak to is today. So today he plans to keep it in his pants. I think I thankfully missed some episodes. I don’t remember a lot of these scenes. Dean is blathering on like someone fresh out of rehab…one day at a time… stay out of my ego… blah, blah, blah..
Next up is their stupid friends. Which gives me a moment to add some images and tags to this post since I am watching On Demand and can’t fast forward through this stupidity. Still talking. This gives me time to put the tea kettle on. OMG. We are only halfway through this mess and Lifetime includes every single commercial on their On Demand shows. So I took a minute to moderate some comments. I accidentally allowed a post from TeamDufuss who wanted to tell me what they read on Perez Hilton about the housewives, so I had to go set a modification to send them to spam. And yet, I still have time left over. Sigh. So bored.
Oh, more sobbing montages. Tori’s most dramatic ugly cry scene. Tori says when in life do you get to see yourself hysterical. Oh, I dunno, when you live your lives with cameramen in your bedroom?
What about the rumor that Susie Gladhands doesn’t exisit? Tori doesn’t know who would fake this. The host points out that people have looked up Emily Goodhand online and there is nothing. Dean says they get their Internet history removed all the time. Um, not in this country, Dean. Not in this country.
Then there is a dramatic unveiling of Dean’s gigantic tattoo of their wedding vows down the left side of his body. Reminder, they are filming this in their house, where they live together. Dean has another huge surprise, right after this break! I hope it’s Heidi Handjob there to tell Tori that she’s sorry but she believes she and Dean are soulmates and they are getting married.
Dean installed surveillance cameras in his apartment in Canada so she could check on him while he was there. She says she didn’t use it. #TrueLove Still teasing Dean’s next big surprise. And Tori has a big question for Dean (about the number of women he’s cheated with.) But first, the crappy TV shrink talks to the host. People think this is all, fake Dr. what do you have to say about that? She says she was there from the very beginning so she knows it was real. Really, really real. So real. Stay tuned for Dean’s big surprise!
I could discover the cure for cancer during these commercials.
When we come back, Tori talks to the host and asks her not to ask Dean about the number of other women. She thinks that it is not the right time to do it.
Viewer questions! Also known as the questions the host does not want the blame for asking. Does Dean still think Tori is controlling? meh. who cares. Does Tori ever feel bad for breaking up his first marriage? Yeah, sorta but she doesn’t think she is to blame. The infidelity was on Dean. The questions are not brutal. They are lame.
And it ends with the big surprise! Dean sings a stupid song he wrote to Tori. He’s sorry forever. Is he supposed to be a singer? It’s not as bad as a Real Housewives song.
Edited to add Jeannie sent me a picture of the McDermott Family celebrating the “New Years.” Why doesn’t it surprise me they are the sort of folks who says “New Years” ?
I only made it through a few segments, but got tired and fell asleep during the commercials. Again we were reminded that Dean IS NOT cute. He looked dirty and unkempt again. Tori seems really mentally unstable. Candy Spelling must be mortified by this display. I feel sorry for the kids.
Remember Candy Spelling screwed her over on her inheritance. Also I totally forgot that Tori stole him from another woman. I don’t feel sorry for her at all.
Why should Aaron leave all of his money to his children when he has a living wife, they’re mother. When Candy dies, them they’ll see it. Remember Tori’s brother is an admitted substance abuser/addict, and Tori had just dumped hubby number 1 after a huge wedding and was getting ready to ASAP marry Dean sans a prenup.
I only managed to get through one episode of this show. I would rather watch Sharknado. Could not even begin to imagine the need for them to do a follow up reunion episode. Was Peaches and Herb’s “Reunited” playing softly in the background? I kept up through your recaps. I never got the appeal of this guy….he is not exactly all Rico Suave…he is just some random guy. Not sure how the vow tattoo (ouch) will keep him from straying again. He has tattoos of her image, their kids names and even has her name just above his penis and that was not enough. They prove the theory of “If they cheat with you, they will
cheat on you.”
Sharknado. 🙂
Lol about Sharknado! I’m sick of Dean! Jason priestly writes about meeting “Douche McDermott” , in his new memoir. So apparently Dean is as douchey as we all thought! Hey tori, time for a haircut and cut that loser out your life!
I read on Daily Mail today that Dean took a week of from filming Chopped Canada to come back and help Tori out with the kids because Stella was getting her tonsils out and Liam was home with the flu.
But, um, when we saw the “reunion” show, wasn’t filming wrapped for Chopped Canada? The whole thing made no sense….
On Fri, Jun 6, 2014 at 8:21 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Tara, did you read Jason’s book? If so, was it any good?
now there’s an idea: combine this show with sharknado, & they’d have killer ratings.
I didn’t watch the show but the recap and comments are hilarious!! He slept with other women with Tori’s name tattooed on his penis! lol! What a prince. They must have needed the money really bad to put themselves thru this humiliation…what woman would admit this on national tv and try to stay with him?? What happened to all her money? Her father was a millionaire and her mom is still filthy rich…
From what I have read years ago, Tori’s parents did not believe in helping their children financially. I’ve heard Tori talk about it too. When her Dad died she didn’t get anything. It all went to his wife and she didn’t give Tori anything either.
His wife is her mother-why in the world does everyone think Tori and her brother should have gotten all the money? I have never seen it where someone does and has a loving spouse that they do not leave the money to that spouse. He did exactly what I would do in the same situation. They Should not get any significant amount of money until Candy dies.
Yeah should it be a red flag if you feel the need to get your wife’s name tattooed there as a reminder? Also I bet those women he cheated with only got off on it even more
you are so right, they are the poster children for that theory…if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you – or once a cheater always a cheater – Tori made a bad decision with that one!
TT – Thank you for suffering through this so I didn’t have to!
The only issues I have with Tori is that she seems to think getting cheated on by a low life is something new to everyone, so much in fact, she needed a show to prove it….I mean what planet does this woman live on? She’s not all that pretty, the only thing she’s ever had going for her is her name and money and yet she finds it absolutely astounding that someone would dare cheat on her??? Girl, you need to wake up and get real with yourself. Dean left his wife for you, you left a man for him and you people expected to live happily after ever??? The way you get a man, is the way you either lose or keep him…note that.
On a final note, doing this to show your kids in the future what a low life daddy was is beyond stupid. First off as adults they’re not gonna give a sh*t, secondly as adults, they may be doing their own little cheating….Tori your such a jerk, child please for your own sake, get help and get off of TV for good!!
It ain’t over kids. I was looking to see if the one TT recapped was the end. No such luck. Next week Tori reflects on the most explosive moments behind closed doors, and more unseen footage.
If they ever divorce, they certainly will make a series out of that, sad divorce parties, uncommittment ceremony, dividing the stuff, kids, etc.
Oh God, WHY??? I don’t think I can do it again. I’ve got too much going on in that time slot as it is! #DeadliestCatch
On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 1:53 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Did the captain make it to rehab?
TT, you have to do it for us!!! I just can’t imagine what ELSE we need to see…..
Deadliest catch is one of my faves!
Ooooh love Deadliest Catch!
I really don’t think it was fake. Neither of them are good enough at acting to be as believable as it was. Now, I do think she did this show because she needs money and it’s the only way she knows how to do it quickly.
Or she gets craves the attention a show brings. Her mother said she would always take care of Tori and her family and Tori exaggerates.
So im not sure if yall have ever watched Gene simmons family jewels or not but the axs channel plays reruns weekly. my point is gene and Shannon went to a marriage counseler pretty much a whole season and its the same lady that tori and dean filmed with. Shes a serial reality tv therapist! Ok thats all.
@JentheAUfan~ I thought that was her.
This reminds me of the phrase, “you can’t make this up”! The recap by you was the best thing about it. I’m pretty sure Tori was married during the time she cheated with Dean. So how does she say it was on Dean?
This show is like having my fingernails pulled out one by one, but yet, I watched (or rather, I had it on in the background as I was cleaning). Anyway, the fact that Tori thinks that her children won’t sees this until she decides is completely ridiculous. She can’t possibly believe that. I also get really angry when they talk about THEIR children and how it is so important that they work it out for them. What about Dean’s children from his first marriage? I feel HORRIBLE for those children. IDK… This show leaves me feeling ill.
I also can’t believe that is STILL not over. These two must think that they are REALLY important. Like the commenter said above, millions of people go through this every day. You are not special you idiots. I am angry with myself for watching this and adding to the ratings. I really, truly am.
Don’t worry Lori, there are only three of us watching. The ratings are REALLY bad. Like barely a million viewers total per episode. When I went to check the numbers I saw that his 15 year old son is tell Star magazine that the entire thing is made up. Another source said that Dean has had a serious drug problem and the rest of it was made up storyline. Tori is already shopping for another show, I expect the storyline will be divorce.
Lovely.
On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 3:38 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Muchlike Tori, I forgot he had other kids. Good Grief. Who wants to see their suicidal father on TV? No one. That’s who.
On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 3:28 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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@Tamara~ Thankfully, his kids with Tori are still young, so they can shield them from the public display of dysfunction a bit longer, but the young man from his first marriage is in his mid teens by now. Since the show was the Canadian version of “Chopped”, I hate to think of what that poor kid sees and hears on a regular basis in Canada.
I think that he and his first wife were in the process of adopting a baby when his gravy train pulled into the station and I do not know if he has a relationship with that child or not.
Jr Leager as far as it has been reported, he does not. He was not even listed as a father in the adoption papers. His ex had said she was worried he would jeopardize her chance of getting the baby bc he pulled out of it. Such a DICK.
Hahaaa…I knew when I hit “send” on my email that you would not go for “Little Women: LA”. And as it turns out, I agree with you. I sent that email too early…I had only watched half the episode. The other half got really ugly. I don’t need to add another “housewives” show to my programming schedule, after all.
Oh it wasn’t just you… lol.
On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 4:54 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Hope you are feeling better!
I am thanks. Aren’t you the one that finished radiation today? If so, congrats!
On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 4:55 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Oh and by the way, the best show on TV during that time slot is Deadliest Catch.
On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 4:55 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
> Oh it wasn’t just you… lol. > > > On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 4:54 PM, Tamara Tattles [email protected]> wrote: > >>
Thanks. I’ll check it out next week.
Yes! I “graduated” today! Thanks!
Deadliest Catch is certainly better than any of the others.
Hands down! Deadliest catch is awesome- I look forward to its return every summer.
I usually watch Deadliest Catch. I have missed some whole seasons due to viewing conflicts but doesn’t seem to make a difference. I am realizing almost every guy they feature is or has been an addict. Do others think this is because they get a big once or twice a year pay day and this is how they make up for the hard work at sea? It just seems to be a common story line, sad and depressing, to me.
Cat,
I watched half and episode and I thought it was a joke. Total. Train. Wreck. If I had a choice I would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard for 24 consecutive hours.
I totally agree with you..now. I had only seen the first half when I suggested it to TT. The 2nd half was pitiful.
I am embarrassed to admit that I watched this “documentary”. It is fake. The dates do not add up and there are so many untruths that it is a Spelling work of fiction. To begin with………as a mother of four kids also I am so put off by her martyr role she has written for herself that she does it all. If she did, so what , there are many of us who do it alone everyday. But she has three nannies …….three. There are photos of them celebrating the New years…hmmm…they are photographed holding a poster “happy new years 2014″….what happened to Christmas and new years crying all alone at home while he was whisked away to rehab….Jack, his son from his marriage to Ms Eustace gave an interview shooting down cheating rumors ( I know its his Dad but he gives good points)saying Tori is obsessed with being on TV and the $$$ it brings at all costs. The worst thing Tori did was using those little kids (again whether or not its fake, she used those kids for ratings and again $$$)Remember when Stella’s teacher showed Tori her memory book on Christmas and she wrote what a great Christmas the Mc Dermott family had all together…….Tori fixed it by saying that Stella made up those memories …………bad bad bad. The poor kid.
I am embarrassed to admit that I watched this “documentary”. It is fake. The dates do not add up and there are so many untruths that it is a Spelling work of fiction. To begin with………as a mother of four kids also I am so put off by her martyr role she has written for herself that she does it all. If she did, so what , there are many of us who do it alone everyday. But she has three nannies …….three. There are photos of them celebrating the New years…hmmm…they are photographed holding a poster “happy new years 2014″….what happened to Christmas and new years crying all alone at home while he was whisked away to rehab….Jack, his son from his marriage to Ms Eustace gave an interview shooting down cheating rumors ( I know its his Dad but he gives good points)saying Tori is obsessed with being on TV and the $$$ it brings at all costs. The worst thing Tori did was using those little kids (again whether or not its fake, she used those kids for ratings and again $$$)Remember when Stella’s teacher showed Tori her memory book on Christmas and she wrote what a great Christmas the Mc Dermott family had all together…….Tori fixed it by saying that Stella made up those memories …………Poor kids.
I’ll add the picture you sent, thanks Jeannie!
I’ve liked Deadliest Catch for years.
Tori’s children will be affected by this train wreck of a show.
Many years ago Tori said she was horrible with money and her home is a rental now. I also think this show was about money.
Women get cheated on all the time and for Tori to blow up a one night stand like she has is ridiculous. Forgive it or get out of the relationship. Toro did the same with Dean, pay back is a bitch.
I don’t even think it’s completely about money-it’s her concept of “fame”. She wants to be famous.
Nene said it, “you can’t win when you’re dirty.” She also said, ” Close your legs to married men.” My MOM said, ” You will finish how you start and when you start with a married guy (not divorced-nothing else), he will do the same thing to you. Karma and all that. What’s the confusion, Tori?
Wasn’t Greg married when NeNe met him??
ahh where to start. I was not familiar with Tori Spelling’s shows so thought this one might be interesting. After a few episodes, I realized that she thinks she is being honest but in reality, she is in so much denial that all she wants to do is create a fairy tale instead of admitting she is nowhere near it. I think she definitely wanted to show the world that Dean did this to the family and he needed to be publically humiliated and gravel his way back. He needs here money and fame too much to leave her. He was biting at the bit to go back to Canada to get away from reality. Sadly, what a train wreck that was!!!
The Little Women of LA is a hoot. I only watched the first episode but it is actually much better than most of the housewives shows and a million times better than Tori. It is surprisingly entertaining.
Michelle, I did too! I was just ashamed to admit. Lol thanks for being brave enough to blaze the trail for me!
It was a lie. Period. Maybe some truths in it…but was scripted for tv. Period. It irks me that they think it was believable. It was garbage at it’s best. What I find even harder to believe…..somebody paid them money.
BTW T, who won The Face?
And last but not least….congrats Cat!! So glad you are finished with radiation. Thats the kind of stuff we should care about and be focused on…not the likes of Tori and Dean Dumbass.
Yes, congrats Cat at your milestone. My mom went through it too and she’s doing great now for over 10 years!!
Wow, thanks to both of you!
First, congratulations to Cat! love your icon 🙂
About Dean – he was acceptable-looking at one point in time but his small features and possum eyes have not improved with age. Tori was making a decent living with LifeTime movies and books and QVC for a while but god alone knows what kind of debts she’s racked up in the interim. Her best bet would be to ditch Dean, get back in TV movies and fluffy lifestyle books and commentary and raise her kids out of the public eye….
Thanks for the recap. It shows how much you care.
I certainly couldn’t watch more than 5 minutes of that scumball. Doesn’t anyone have
the grapes to tell him to shower?
This is all a sham. They’ve got some nerve to pulls this.
Dean reminds me of Snarky Smiley from hags of Beverly Hills. It’s that unsaid (at least on tv)..love me, mommy. Love your bad boy…but don’t forget my allowance.
Makes me cringe.
This “reunion” was lame. It was even worse than the actual episodes. Next week looks like it could be good-but I said that about this show, last week.
I think Dean did cheat, but not with “Emily”. I think they made her up to represent whoever it actually was. And I bet we haven’t heard from the real other woman bc this girl is somewhere thinking to herself “gah I didn’t mean to get THAT drunk-please don’t let them say my name, I’ll die if everyone knows I actually had sex with Dean McDermott.” Haha in fact she would probably sue THEM for blabbing the story!
The sad part is , true or not, how horrible to put it on tv. What woman in her right mind, would want to tell the world all about something in her private life that is so humiliating and embarrassing??? Ans her children!!! For Christ Sake!!! Who would want there kids to be exposed like that? Gosh…I feel so sorry for them. True or not!!!!
I am just happy to read recaps from feisty ‘ahem’ lovely Tamara and delve into all the brilliant comments,
I just don’t have the strength or emotional (or just the) commitment to watch anymore reality shows. AHW was the last in the franchise I watched only because Tamara’s insights pulled me back in.
Cat i wish you oodles of strength I can’t imagine what you are going through.
This show was unbelievably depressing and uncomfortable to watch. I wouldn’t sit through my closest friends and family couples having those types of arguments without feeling like I really shouldn’t be witnessing it. BS Dean only cheated once. And is it awful to say he was totally deflecting when he pulled the I want to hurt myself card? He only regrets getting caught not cheating and feels shame only for what an ass he looks like. I don’t know whether to have extreme pity for Tori for how naive she is or disgust for her stupidity. It seemed like she mostly wanted Dean back to help with the kids in which case she prob would have been better off hiring a nanny.
Heidi Handjob, HA!
It is noble to not believe in giving your children handouts, but it is pretty clear her parents didn’t teach her how to survive on her own either. She wasn’t shown how to live in the real world and make your own way, or the value of a dollar. She was raised in riches then pushed out the door.
I think you are right Coco. Also, she has been doing her own TV reality shows for so many years, back before she was married, plus regular acting jobs, I think she is like an addict. I don’t think she even wants a regular life. TV is her reality, not much separation in her head.
With Jennie Garth, she is supposed to be bringing some sort of mystery series they are producing and starring in. If she is any good as a producer, I’d rather see her do behind the scenes work, like her father switched from actor to producer. She could make a good living and keep her kids off the shows, until the are old enough to choose their career.
remember the stories from when she was a child, saying her parents had people place exotic shells on the sand for her to find at the beach later? i remember them. they definitely didnt show her enuf of the real world.
but the story about dean’s suicidal frame of mind making them put him away for a bit will follow him forever. that’s what they put out on the show and he, tori, & the therapist admitted to, tho we heard later he was drying out. totally stupid to put out there forever. was it worth the money?
Tori could never get enough celebrity attention. So her dad creates a tv show for her. And we wonder wy the hell is she on tv with this drama.
Correction I meant to say created a show for her since he is deceased.Tori was actually acting like she was actor of the year during the 80’s. I remember thinking that after Aaron her dad was gone, Hollywood is going to destroy her, money cannot buy you fame in Hollywood and that has always been Tori’s problem.
Correction again I meant 90’s not 80’s.
I tried to watch Chopped Canada last night. I couldn’t help but laugh because Dean is terrible on that too!
Not sure why the failure of a marriage is something to film. She is sad and
demeaning herself with this.