Finally, a show I’m excited to recap. You guys that don’t like this show are just not looking at it right. It’s a parody! A comedy! An amusing distraction! Plus “Harry” is adorable. I was reading about this show on the Internet. The author said that Harry picking two girls at the end to make everyone wonder who would go and who would stay was dumb because it was so obvious who he was sending home. I must be super dumb because I’ve been wrong both times.
Today Kimberly, who was last weeks winner, gets a hot air balloon date with Harry. She is super excited. I’ve always been on the fence about whether I would enjoy a hot air balloon ride or not. I think I have passed the age where that would be enjoyable. Next they go on a picnic. Matt says in his talking head that Kim has a bit of a guard up. Then, they set up a dramatic paparazzi scene to keep the Prince Harry ruse. Come on. This is funny.
Megan (aka the girl who shits alphabet soup more meaningful than what Jackie says) and Jackie go at it again. I think Jackie wanted to make amends but Megan was not hearing it.
Three of the girls are chosen to go on a row boating date. Matt can’t row. It’s Kelley, the curly-headed brunette who is buying this hook, line and sinker. She thinks she is in a scene from The Notebook. Was there a boat scene in The Notebook? I’m not even sure I’ve seen the movie. Please don’t take my girly girl card. The dumb blonde drunk girl (Maggie) is surprisingly normal when she is sober. Kelley gets one on one time with Harry and cracks her dumb pumpkin head open doing a back flip off the boat. Apparently, the other two girls got the shaft or else they just opted not to show it. Meghan is starting to be pissed she is getting no time with our prince.
Time for the pool party! Woo hoo! There is a DJ and a full bar. Drunkass Maggie immediately introduces herself to the bartender. Meghan is angling for one on one time. Time to limbo? How low can these girls go? The answer is very, very low. Harry decides that he needs to make a genuine connection, with Meghan’s boobs. Meghan does inappropriate things with her mouth. And then comes back and gives the girls an excruciating play by play of the kiss.
Carley shows off he DJing skills. Chelsea teaches the girls how to twerk.
Carina was chosen for the final one on one in the hot tub. I liked her last week but this week she finds a way to bring up to Matt that she once dated a professional soccer player. This is not great. She also doesn’t let him kiss her, but gives him the cheek, that may have made up for it.
Maggie is jealous of Meghan’s one on one time with Harry. Meghan’s mean girl routine continues when she mentions in her talking head, “I don’t know if the royal family would really approve of someone getting piss ass wasted every night.” At dinner, Maggie has a few more drinks. That’s my girl. Maggie denys that she has a drinking problem as the girls wait to see who won and who lost.
Elimination time! I really have no idea who the winners or losers will be tonight. I think Carina made it a bit too obvious she’s not into him during the hot tub scene. I imagine her boyfriend at home (I’m just guessing) would not like her making out in the hot tub with some British dude. He seems to like Chelsea, the twerking girl. But he chooses Carly (quiet smart DJ girl) and Carina (the one I think is going home). All these C names!
For the third week in a row, I was wrong and Carly the smart DJ goes home. And Carina, the kiss snubbing hot tubgirl wins the room upgrade.
Next week, Chelsea, the twerker girl will go all angry black woman, because, typecasting. And some girls try to point out that Matt does not have Prince Harry’s nose. I can’t wait!