Finally, a show I’m excited to recap. You guys that don’t like this show are just not looking at it right. It’s a parody! A comedy! An amusing distraction! Plus “Harry” is adorable. I was reading about this show on the Internet. The author said that Harry picking two girls at the end to make everyone wonder who would go and who would stay was dumb because it was so obvious who he was sending home. I must be super dumb because I’ve been wrong both times.
Today Kimberly, who was last weeks winner, gets a hot air balloon date with Harry. She is super excited. I’ve always been on the fence about whether I would enjoy a hot air balloon ride or not. I think I have passed the age where that would be enjoyable. Next they go on a picnic. Matt says in his talking head that Kim has a bit of a guard up. Then, they set up a dramatic paparazzi scene to keep the Prince Harry ruse. Come on. This is funny.
Megan (aka the girl who shits alphabet soup more meaningful than what Jackie says) and Jackie go at it again. I think Jackie wanted to make amends but Megan was not hearing it.
Next up! Twerking with Prince Harry! 
Three of the girls are chosen to go on a row boating date. Matt can’t row. It’s Kelley, the curly-headed brunette who is buying this hook, line and sinker. She thinks she is in a scene from The Notebook. Was there a boat scene in The Notebook? I’m not even sure I’ve seen the movie. Please don’t take my girly girl card. The dumb blonde drunk girl (Maggie) is surprisingly normal when she is sober. Kelley gets one on one time with Harry and cracks her dumb pumpkin head open doing a back flip off the boat. Apparently, the other two girls got the shaft or else they just opted not to show it. Meghan is starting to be pissed she is getting no time with our prince.
Time for the pool party! Woo hoo! There is a DJ and a full bar. Drunkass Maggie immediately introduces herself to the bartender. Meghan is angling for one on one time. Time to limbo? How low can these girls go? The answer is very, very low. Harry decides that he needs to make a genuine connection, with Meghan’s boobs. Meghan does inappropriate things with her mouth. And then comes back and gives the girls an excruciating play by play of the kiss.
Carley shows off he DJing skills. Chelsea teaches the girls how to twerk.
Carina was chosen for the final one on one in the hot tub. I liked her last week but this week she finds a way to bring up to Matt that she once dated a professional soccer player. This is not great. She also doesn’t let him kiss her, but gives him the cheek, that may have made up for it.
Maggie is jealous of Meghan’s one on one time with Harry. Meghan’s mean girl routine continues when she mentions in her talking head, “I don’t know if the royal family would really approve of someone getting piss ass wasted every night.” At dinner, Maggie has a few more drinks. That’s my girl. Maggie denys that she has a drinking problem as the girls wait to see who won and who lost.
Elimination time! I really have no idea who the winners or losers will be tonight. I think Carina made it a bit too obvious she’s not into him during the hot tub scene. I imagine her boyfriend at home (I’m just guessing) would not like her making out in the hot tub with some British dude. He seems to like Chelsea, the twerking girl. But he chooses Carly (quiet smart DJ girl) and Carina (the one I think is going home). All these C names!
For the third week in a row, I was wrong and Carly the smart DJ goes home. And Carina, the kiss snubbing hot tubgirl wins the room upgrade.
Next week, Chelsea, the twerker girl will go all angry black woman, because, typecasting. And some girls try to point out that Matt does not have Prince Harry’s nose. I can’t wait!
I have only seen bits and pieces of one episode, but it made me think of the UK show, “Ladette to Lady.” I think you can view clips and episodes on YouTube. I started watching it when it ran on Sundance.
Yes, there was a boat scene in The Notebook. They were surrounded by about a thousand swans, there was a storm, they were soaked and proceeded to go all Bow-Chica-Bow-Bow in the foyer….and like all of us GRITS (Girls Raised In The South), she kept her pearls on.
Either I was over Nicolas Sparks by the time the movie came out, or I simply have no recollection of the movie. I suppose I should probably catch it on TNT or some other cable outlet next time I see it listed.
On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 2:10 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Make Banjo snuggle up with you because it is a tearjerker….and wear your pearls. 🙂
Oh, if it is a tear jerker it will have to be on during the two days a month I’m not already crying because I saw something pretty or a commercial about the military men coming home to surprise their kids at school.
On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 4:18 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Awww… I like Carina and Kelley. They seem like very sweet girls, but of the two, Carina is my favorite.
Maggie, oyster-gagging-drunk, should go home. But she makes for good, bad TV. They’ll keep her I say.
As much as I love Carina and think she should be the one fake Harry choses, I have to remind myself: the girl chosen is for Matt, not Prince Harry.
And please !! Someone tell Rose that Prince Charles isn’t there and won’t be, even as a not- Charles. She keeps referring to the Prince of Wales—- Charles is the Prince of Wales and there’s only one !!
I am completely hooked on this show. And your recap is spot on. It’s FUN! They need more “reality” shows like this.
I just watched last night’s ep. It annoyed me. Maybe I’m just annoys le be cue it’s gotten hot and my AC has decided to be a dick. These women are pigs. Gross pigs. I’ve decide that twerking looks like the twerker has a Doodoo bubble (thanks Whitney) that she’s trying to shake off. Not remotely sexy. But then, I’m also of the opinion that fat asses are not attractive. I digress.
The fake Harry doesn’t even act like a Brit. Let alone a royal. The touching and hugging and kissing would NEVER happen with a royal with cameras running. But that goes back to the women being idiots.
That simpering little fool who whacked her little head makes me bilious. The Notebook? VOMIT. Unless you’re 8, you really shouldn’t dream of being in a scene from the Notebook.
I wondered during the previews — do you think that they will pick off the naysayers? Like the dark girl who said it’s not him because of the nose. Do you think they’ll ship her off? Would make things more interesting.
I just wish they’d show the girl who goes home each week being told that he’s fake.
Wait, you don’t think my ass is attractive? Well fuck you then.
On Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 9:27 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’ve had both a fat ass and a flat ass and an in between the two ass (1st place I lose and gain weight). All I know is my fat ass tends to more comfy while sitting on hard surface e.g., benches etc!
I guess I am a fan of the show but it might be because it is so easy to pick everyone apart. I like fake Harry. I bet the butler rolls his eyes at “Sir” and the girls every time he turns his back on them. I thought it was dumb that the smart one kept saying she’s too smart for the show, why did she come? Each girl seems to repeat over and over whatever is the annoying thing about herself, except they think it’s what makes them special.
I think Max’s picker is off and the last one standing will not stay in a long distance relationship with a ditch digger. Maybe the joke’s on us and Max is a royal “relative” through the “friend” of Princess Diana, that the real Harry happens to look just like.
Matt
Thanks, TeeCee. The beginnings of noticing my midlife memory decline was I could remember the first letter of a name or title I was searching for, but recall of the rest of the word was slow. Now that I’m way, way beyond middle age, I don’t always recognized the memory issue, and am just plain wrong. From time-to-time, I acknowledge I CRS, I appreciate the help. 🙂
It was an ok episode for me. My least favorite part was the tweaking as it’s just well, gross. The boat scene made me laugh, other than that boring.
PS … hope you either feeling better or really drugged up.
Would LOVE it if Harry (Matt) announced that his grandmother would be arriving to help him with the final choice.
35 Tamara Tattles Tokens to Banana Bug. My new favorite commenter.
On Thu, Jun 5, 2014 at 6:20 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I think there is at Least 1 Queen doppelganger. I would guess It’s impossible for The Royal Camilla to have one, unless you search the stables.
The recent “hot-air” balloon tragedy made me rethink the romance of it all. Flaming bodies bouncing across a field is not something I EVER want to see or think about and makes me wonder how safe it is to . . . . float in a balloon? Going to cross this off my list and add, “travel to Bermuda Triangle”!
I thought the same thing while watching their balloon ride. I wouldn’t do it.
Me too! I came close to arranging balloon ride as birthday surprise for husband years ago. A coworker told me he thought they charged by the weight of the passengers. Together we would be a load, him a 6’3″ athlete named “Beef”, and my 5’10” heft. I decided I couldn’t afford it. It turned out the coworker was making the cost story up to tease me. I was glad, the guy I was going to hire later crashed, almost into my swimming pool. Everyone was safe.
These women will do anything to get fake Harry, the idiot that flipped off the boat and hit her head, that was hilarious!