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You are here: Home / News / Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars

Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars

May 30, 2014 by tamaratattles 52 Comments

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First of all what are Trista and Ryan doing on here? Dammit. They are the one couple who settled into the quiet life and stopped being reality stars. This makes me sad.  So anyway, it is them and Gretchen and Slade from Orange County, Jwoww and Roger from Jersey Shore, et al, and well we shall see. I am not sure I know who the other people are. Let the show begin…

Um I DVRed this because I got too involved in a two hour dateline and I feel like my DVR may have missed something, only I did not. Apparently there is brawling the first night that they recap in advance to tell us there was about $10K in damages. I hope Trista was safely in her room!  It hasn’t even started yet, and I am ALL IN! And I love it is on Friday night with no conflicts! MBC tanisha_clive_

First to arrive is Tanisha from Bad Girls and he man Clive. Clive is wearing a huge cross around his neck hoping to ward off the evilness that is Tanisha. Tanisha is freaking out over the house they are going to be at. She says, ” Let me act like I have some home training.” Oh girlfriend that ship sailed long ago. Tanisha does bring the funny. Tanisha is guzzling the booze.

Next up is Gretchen and Slade. She introduces herself as Gretchen, “you might know me from real housewives.” Slade says, “I’m Slade and I like to sleep with real housewives.”  True. Still not married. Gretchen says she is the “white Oprah” fifty times before the episode ends. It’s the drinking phrase.

Jwoww and Roger arrive and say their relationship is on life support. Roger says their intimacy stopped after Jersey Shore. Jwoww has to be pregnant at this point. Not sure if they are going to mention that. Oh she is not drinking, so it has to come out.

Traci Braxton and her husband and Kevin are there. I don’t exactly keep up with them. Y’all will have to catch me up. Apparently Kevin cheats.

Trista and Ryan arrive. I feel like begging them to go back! This is not the place for you!

Gretchen is just like Taylor. She is thinks she is there to help everyone else with their problems. Tanisha’s fat ass doesn’t cook? How is that possible. Tanisha blames reality TV for her relationship problems. LOL.

Challenge One: It’s a press conference. The reality whores are pissed! I love this show! They play their private interviews for the “press.”  Then they make them answer questions from “the press.”

MBC JwowwJwoww looks normal on this show and yet the “press” asks her about her obsession with plastic surgery. MTV recently were complete assholes to Jwoww showing her eight months pregnant in NYC and calling her Lil Kim. It was so uncalled for by TMZ.  They also spazzed out about the LA Times scooping the deal on the Clippers sale and made a post calling it UNTRUE! But today said it really did happen and acted like they were the source. Sigh.

Tanisha gets blasted for being an alcoholic. Clive’s questions are about him being a little bitch. Tanisha has a freakout and storms off the set. Which is in the house. So everyone can hear Tanisha going off. The press asks Ryan why he doesn’t have a talking head. Tanisha is going off in the background.  Ryan was actually working a real job. Tanisha is going batshit. Clive says they split after a month of marriage.

Gretchen gets asked how it makes her feel she was the third housewife Slade has fucked. She gets asked how it makes her feel to be on a show about broken relationships. Gretchen is well practiced in her lies. Gretchen wants to have a baby before she commits.  She wants babies. It doesn’t seem like Slade does.  And frankly, he doesn’t seem like a very good father figure.

Eventually, they all go back to their rooms. Their doors are covered with all of the worst things the media has ever said about them,

Anyway, I hate  how the TV execs have bought in to Andy Cohen’s idea that we all want to interact with the TV and put up voting shit.  The whole point of watching stupid people on TV  is not to have to DO ANYTHING. And you are covering the screen with voting shit? PUHLEASE  If I can’t watch the show, and end up having to watch a graphic while listening to the show, then fuck it.

What did you think?

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About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Les says

    May 30, 2014 at 11:49 pm

    Gretchen & Slade have zero chemistry but that is ok. Actually, you know, having sex might mess up their make up. And the white Oprah thing? I am white and it pissed me off. For some reason Gretchen seems not to understand that pointing out racial differences doesnot convince people that you are color blind. I think sletchen is there for more camera time. They are already trying to irritate and split the house. Geez they are tedious morons.

    Reply
    • Cat says

      May 31, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      I agree. And I’m pretty sure if Oprah saw this, she would be pissed, too. Once on Celebrity Rehab, they had one like that, too…who presented themselves more as a therapist than an addict. They turned out to be the one with the biggest problem. This seems very similar.

      Reply
  2. Angel says

    May 30, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    I haven’t watched this yet. I have wondered from first hearing Ryan and Krista would he on the show, they seem like regular people, not fame whores. How does he get all this time off from the firehouse?

    Reply
    • SnookumsLynn says

      June 1, 2014 at 2:49 am

      He probably has alot of vacation, if it’s the same job he had when he got with Trista…and their hours are really great. I’m kinda sad about them too, cause in my head, i’m thinking she was pretty focused, picked her guy, married a regular guy and pretty much went on to regular land…but kinda in hindsight, I think I’ve seen her on TV alot recently, just like guest hosting, small stints, and maybe Ryan is like no, Boo Boo, You were supposed to stay a housewife…

      Reply
  3. O.O says

    May 31, 2014 at 12:04 am

    Omg! I’m watching now !

    Reply
  4. JenB says

    May 31, 2014 at 12:39 am

    Great recap T. I watched Bad Girls and liked Tanisha on the show. But she is over the top on this show and it just wastes too much camera time on her. I also liked Gretchen but she is horribly annoying on this show. I never watched Jersey Shore but I kind of like Jenni.

    Reply
  5. vivaladiva831 says

    May 31, 2014 at 1:06 am

    Tanisha…invest on some acting classes. Branch out from angry black woman. I used to really like her! At least I did on bad girls. Oh yeah wait I know…she was fun and genuine her first season, then reality tv and a modicum of fame…

    Reply
  6. O.O says

    May 31, 2014 at 1:12 am

    Sigh! Watching Tanisha made me tired. I can’t believe she hasn’t had a stroke or heart attack with all if the ranting and raving . Clive’s mom must of been mean to him because I can’t figure out why he wants to stay married to her besides he’s already use to being treated that way.
    The rest of the couples were boring, Gretchen must of heard someone say the white Oprah thing and made it her own ( yawn) poor thing, so corney.
    I guess it’s the Tanisha show . It’s like looking at a bad accident , I’m horrified but can’t look away.

    Reply
    • SnookumsLynn says

      June 1, 2014 at 2:50 am

      wasn’t Lindsay Lohan’s mama calling herself the white Oprah at one time?

      Reply
      • BH Wannabe says

        June 2, 2014 at 9:52 am

        Yeah, so who is it? Dina or Gretchen???

        Reply
  7. kathyf48 says

    May 31, 2014 at 1:16 am

    I enjoyed it and I watched the show after Mystery Millionaire after

    Reply
  8. HannahKingRose says

    May 31, 2014 at 2:21 am

    Bahahaha Gretchen the “white Oprah” really? I lmbo at that statement. Tanisha basically calling for security on herself to keep her from being a bad girl so she wouldn’t try to injury the press that turned out not to be press. Jenny not being able to drink because she’s pregnant but hasn’t told anyone. I know she was wishing she could down a bottle of wine. Roger telling the reporter that she needed to start taking steroids too. He’s a smartass from the word go. He also stated the sex between he and Jenny had stopped after Jersey Shore. Obviously that wasn’t true because she is pregnant. So they did it at least once lol. Tracie Braxton and her husband married 17 years, both have cheated. Tracie’s was a retalitatory affair. I didn’t do it till he did. Maybe she feels like an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is the way to go. Then there’s Trysta and Ryan. They seem to be the most normal couple on the show who haven’t tried to stay in the reality t.v. lifestyle. I might be wrong, but after about 7-10 years lots of couples seem to go through difficulties that need to be dealt maybe in therapy. She came to his defense during the press conference and the therapists made it a big thing that she did that. I found it supportive myself. With all the hoopla going on in the background from Tanisha, all Trysta said was during the time he should have been doing the interview, he was working his rl job 72 hours that week. Couples therapy for Trysta and Ryan is probably a good idea. Just not this one. It is definitely going to be interesting.

    Reply
  9. Urethra Franklin says

    May 31, 2014 at 3:24 am

    The mansion used for MBC was also used for last years “WhoDunnIt” on ABC.

    Dang Tanisha is like a bucking Bronco. The BISH is uncontrollable CRAY. I hope saccurrity has tranquilizer guns loaded & ready for that Bad Girl.

    I still can’t stand Gretchen’s face, or Slades. Isn’t he starting to look like the “Scream” mask or what?

    I love Traci Braxton. She is hilarious on Braxton Family Values. I enjoy her.

    Reply
    • Blair says

      May 31, 2014 at 2:09 pm

      I loved “Whodunit”!

      Do couple get voted off this show? If not, I don’t think I could take Tanishas ranting for a whole season.

      Reply
      • Cat says

        May 31, 2014 at 2:24 pm

        No, they don’t get voted off. But now and then, a couple will be told to leave the house because they don’t “go along” with the “therapy sessions”.

        Reply
  10. powerthoughtsblog says

    May 31, 2014 at 6:26 am

    It was like watching a comedy show. God has given Clive an out and he should run because Tanisha’s crazy!

    Reply
  11. ScrappieONE says

    May 31, 2014 at 6:53 am

    Oh my I watched the two hour Dateline News also….. I was so exhausted yesterday that I feel asleep in the last 10 to 15 mins. So did he do it and was he sentenced? UGH

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      May 31, 2014 at 12:00 pm

      First case ended in mistrial 11-1 not guilty. Second case also ended in mistrial 8-5 or so for guilty. Kids don’t think he did it.

      Reply
      • Patti says

        May 31, 2014 at 8:43 pm

        Just a day or two ago the prosecutor dropped all charges and will not seek a third trial. Thinks he did it but doesn’t think he will ever get a unanimous jury to agree

        Reply
  12. Angel says

    May 31, 2014 at 10:09 am

    Tanisha ruined the 1st episode for me. I never watched Bad Girls, the title alone made me think it would be like the part I hate about HW shows. I was right, if this is her true personality, she needs in patient treatment bad. Traci’s clown wig is so distracting. I think anyone wanting real marital advice should never do it with an audience. Trista and Ryan have disappointed me, sad they have problems, but they are human. Worse is that they choose this show. I was always surprised she settled down to a quiet life, but I think that was the only life Ryan wanted. I don’t really care one way or the other if the other couples make it.

    Reply
  13. Kemper says

    May 31, 2014 at 10:59 am

    I havent watched the show yet, but just seeing Slade’s name makes my skin crawl.. He’s so slimey and he reminds me of Tori’s husband Dean.. Both of them with the greasy hair and unshaven face and just so feminine .. UGHHH!

    Reply
  14. RomaReads says

    May 31, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    Is it just me or does anybody else get a knott in your stomach when you accidentally stumble upon re-runs of the RHOC with Slade and the french maid/girlfriend who left him for Hollywood? Back when Slade drove a Hummer and tried pitching business proposals to the OC wannabe tycoons? Back when his sons kicked it in the kitchen with the french maid/girlfriend talking about whether she should go out and party or stay home and play twenty-something-step-mommy? Some of those episodes are downright painful to watch really. And don’t let me get started on Gretchen. Have you seen her debut season? Child please. These two are match made and will most definately live happily ever after together on planet Reality TV. They are like an oder version of another couple on MTV, but I can’t remember their name right now…reality tv brain really hurts….

    Reply
    • RomaReads says

      May 31, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      I thought of the couple on MTV that Slade and Gretchen remind of, just an older version of Heidi and Spencer…talent LESS and fame junkies.

      Reply
  15. joker says

    May 31, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    Won’t be watching this anymore. So tired of the loud, angry, fat, contact-wearing, make up my own lingo and hope it sticks, I’m so ghetto I’ll whip everyone’s ass, black woman portrayal on these shows.

    Reply
  16. Cat says

    May 31, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    I do watch this show. Tanisha is over the top, but entertaining. I don’t know how much of it is “real” and how much is “act”, but at least she has a few funny zingers from time to time. I would rather watch an hour of Tanisha than an hour of sour puss Nene.

    Anyway, I take these shows with a grain of salt now. I don’t take much of it seriously. Who knows what is scripted and what is not? And who cares? It’s just mindless entertainment, and a nice escape from my own world.

    Reply
    • AriesStar says

      June 1, 2014 at 1:48 am

      Totally agree – I’d take an hour of cray cray Tanisha over an hour with Moose Nene too!

      Reply
    • snapnoodle says

      June 2, 2014 at 1:48 pm

      It’s all an act and it’s transparent.

      Reply
      • Cat says

        June 2, 2014 at 5:21 pm

        Of course it is. But still, I find Tanisha funny and entertaining. Sue me.

        Reply
  17. Amy says

    May 31, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    I have to say in person most of the housewives haven’t impressed me much. The Jersey Shore people all have good reputations in Vegas and anyone who has ever met Jwoww in person say nothing but how sweet she is. I’ve only met Pauly D so far but he is super nice and he tips on his free bottles! Cant say that about some other reality show fame whores. I used to be a huge Gretchen fan too…

    Reply
    • LOLGirl says

      June 1, 2014 at 12:10 am

      Have you met Gretchen?

      Reply
  18. Tasha says

    May 31, 2014 at 3:20 pm

    Some insight into Tanisha issues with Clive… They had a wedding special on oxygen and Clive had this best friend who was a female. She didn’t care for Tanisha or their union. From what was speculated is that the bestfriend is whom he cheated with. It wasn’t confirmed if it went on before the wedding but considering they broke up a month after the wedding and argued the whole time i would think so.

    Reply
  19. Born 2B Lucky says

    May 31, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    Tanisha got that feisty Jamaican blood in here. I used to see her on Flatbush Ave in Brooklyn a lot before she first started out on “The Bad Girls Club and she was the same then as she is now. Don’t think she will ever give up that crazy attitude. LOVE her, but wish Clive would grow some balls and fight back LOL!!

    Reply
    • O.O says

      June 1, 2014 at 9:39 am

      @Born to be lucky tanisha is not Jamaican her people are from another Caribbean island also all Jamaican women aren’t feisty . My mother is Jamaican and is quiet and passive as they come so are most of the women in my family with a few exceptions .

      Reply
      • spk says

        June 1, 2014 at 6:51 pm

        thanks for pointing that out, was thinking the same thing O.O

        Reply
  20. lori says

    May 31, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    I LOVED Bridezillas Marriage Bootcamp, especially the first season. I would actually get giddy every week when it was coming on. It’s too soon to tell how good (or not) this one’s gonna be. I suspect it’s going to be a lot faker than the Bridezilla ones. I also love that this show has always aired on Friday nights. I hope it’s as good as the others, because I’m sure I’m going to end up watching either way, and I would really hate to see this fun show go down the drain.

    Also, are you sure that the $10,000.00 in damage had to do with this season and not the season before. I didn’t catch that somehow on this episode, but they did do a special “behind the scenes” episode about the prior season (where a LOT) of stuff got broken and at the end they did a tally.

    Reply
    • lori says

      May 31, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      Sorry for the brackets around “where a LOT” are in my comment. Makes no sense. Lol Guess I rewrote that part and forgot to take them out. No, I’m not drinking!

      Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      May 31, 2014 at 9:02 pm

      Oh it might have been that Lori. When I recap I can’t always look at the TV. ​

      On Sat, May 31, 2014 at 8:56 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
  21. marie says

    May 31, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    Tanisha…. you are sad! Why are black girls so jealous of white girls? and call every pretty white girl “Barbie?”…. you make yourself and a lot of black girls look really bad! Get some Class!

    Reply
    • SnookumsLynn says

      June 1, 2014 at 2:57 am

      very broad, untrue statement…this black girl is jealous of no female…

      Reply
    • O.O says

      June 1, 2014 at 9:45 am

      @marie . Your statement is ignorant . Do you know all the “black girls” of the world ? I’m pretty sure you don’t . Maybe all the black girls you know or see on tv are jealous of “white girls” but I assure you, your statement is 100% wrong . It’s way too early for me to be shaking my head this much .

      Reply
  22. SB says

    May 31, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    Love this show and the other 2 seasons…Clive and Tanisha should have never gotten married. Saw her episodes of Bridezillas. Are Gretchen and Slade really a couple? If so, even if Gretchen is cray, she can do better than Slade.

    Reply
  23. captain eel says

    May 31, 2014 at 11:57 pm

    After 20 minutes I had to turn it off for one reason. Tanisha. Even self medication with copious doses of vodka didn’t seem to help although iniciated well in advance of show time. Her voice, her actions were more and more irritating as time went by. What’s up with her difficulty in walking? Definitely the last viewing I’ll do of Tanisha. Slade and Gretchen were their usual pathetic selves, one almost feels sympathetic towards them. Almost.

    Reply
    • captain eel says

      June 1, 2014 at 12:07 am

      Initiated not iniciated.

      Reply
  24. Sue says

    June 1, 2014 at 12:31 am

    Good that it’s on a Friday with the no conflict thing…hmmm Tanisha is a hot mess, Clive is another word for cat, Gretchen & Slade camera Ho’s , JWow & Roger …the verdict is out still, Trista & Ryan..disappointing and the last couple , unmemorable cuz I can’t even remember their names….all in all should be entertaining! LOL

    Reply
  25. Gravlax says

    June 1, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    I can see that Tanisha is still beating on Clyde. She has been consistently abusive to him on camera in a way that if the genders were reversed, there’d probably be an arrest. He just puts up with it because he clearly doesn’t know he’s being abused. There needs to be an intervention on this show.

    Gretchen and Slade are still trying to commodify their relationship. As a rule I don’t like when shows bend the rules of their premise. The real truth is that Gretchen won’t get married unless it’s on TV. Let’s not forget that whole dog and pony show where she proposed to Slade. This is an opportunity for them to keep up their visibility so they can get their marriage TV special.

    Reply
    • captain eel says

      June 1, 2014 at 1:35 pm

      “commodify their relationship”………wonderful descriptive term. Thanks, it made my day.

      Reply
  26. MicroOp says

    June 1, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    What the hell is Gretchen wearing in that photo? She’s like 40 right? Not 12?

    Reply
  27. Manic Mondays says

    June 2, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    I have no interest in this show, but I hope they resolve their marriage problems.

    Reply
  28. snapnoodle says

    June 2, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    Fucking Tanisha. SO FUCKING FAKE. A little restraint in her acting would do wonders. She’s a distraction with all of her bullshit. It’s not fun or funny when it’s fake.

    Reply
  29. piperspress says

    June 2, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    After reading your summary I had to see for myself. Let me just say my eyes were both bleeding and pleased at the same time! First off the show is a joke. If you want to help these people save their relationship, wouldn’t a low stress environment with little to no rattling be better? What? That does not make for good TV so instead let’s just put them under the most stress humanly possible and see how it all pans out! LOL, LOVED IT! Tanisha and Clive…they’re either going to be very entertaining or extremely taxing. They do preview Tanisha being carried away in an ambulance, she probably popped a flippin vein with all that anger! Gretchen… “What Oprah”… really? At best she’s a short bus Jenny Jones. Sorry about it… 🙂 Definitely watching next week.

    Reply
    • piperspress says

      June 2, 2014 at 4:40 pm

      White* not What… ugh..

      Reply
  30. Ray says

    July 11, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    Tanisha is hands down the meanest person on earth! Her poor husband try’s so hard and she is just UGLY to him! I think he should divorce her and go find a women who will actually appreciate him! Oh and Gretchen is as fake as her boobs! Ha

    Reply

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