I was feeling so much better today that I spent way too much time out in THE WORLD and even made an impromptu visit to the dentist to finally get my veneer fixed. My dentist did an excellent job and he’s the best dentist in the world. Despite the fact that it was a totally painless procedure, and I don’t have an issue with going to the dentist, I manage to have a panic attack AFTERWARD and my neck is jammed up from hanging upside down for an hour. But this recap must be done! The girls at Reality Tea are going to send me ALL THREE of their readers who watch the show. YAY! Soon there will be twelve of us!
We are down to eleven young ladies vying for the love of Prince Harry of Wales…. er… I mean Matt. I know most everyone thinks these girls are idiots for believing this but I think I would probably fall for this. Y’all know I have poor facial recognition skills and I know nothing about the royals really. Harry does party down in Vegas and does military stuff just like a regular Joe.
Anyway, I hate loud Rose, and I have no idea why he picked her last week. Rose and Harry have breakfast in her bedroom before she even has a chance to get dressed or put on make-up. Rose tries to get answers for the girls instead of just enjoying breakfast with a “prince.” Rose is off in the helicopter with Harry for the first one on one. The other girls are already being bitches. YAY! They are going for a private lunch on “The Isle of White.” Must google later.
I love that they all call him “Sir.” 
On the lunch date that includes lobster on the beach, several security guards stand around ominously. Rose asks about work? He says he is in the military. He is close with his brother. He has been to Vegas. Matt’s talking heads are never overly positive with regard to Rose. I have an idea the producers chose her as being the least likely to be able to discover it is into really him. They kiss in the water. Matt continues talk about how loud and forward American women are, yet he picked the loudest most flirtatious one.
These girls are woefully underdressed for this show. I would expect them to dress like the girls on the bachelor and not like girls going to a Monster Truck Harry gets whisked off by the secret service in a dramatic scene. It’s hilarious. Even the ones that don’t believe he is Harry think he is a royal of some sort.
Rose gets to decide who will play in the cricket match and who will make tea. Rose chose for herself and two others to make tea. The other two are pissed they are “the help.” Harry has a great wardrobe. I think that he negotiated to get to keep them all. Smart move. Harry pulled one of “the help”, Corrina to speak with privately. I don’t think she complained about making tea it was the other one. Corrina is stunning! Andrea is the one that was bitching about making tea. She makes a comment to Harry about being upset she could not play. Bad move.
Matt is adorable. He is really hoping to have a relationship when this is over. He is very conflicted about lying about his identity. He is already worried he is going to fall in love and the girl will reject him because he is not from an affluent family with status. I think if he selects properly, he will be fine.
Jackie, has not idea how to interact with a guy who she thinks might be royal. She says trouble follows her wherever she goes. She’s on the chopping block in my opinion.
It’s already time for dinner and an elimination! It’s a royal event with all the possible formal flatware and such is in place. They serve a variety of sea creatures that require a bit of knowledge to eat. What they don’t know is Matt is trying hard to pretend he knows what he is doing. The blond whose name I missed nearly gags on a raw oyster. I WOULD KNOW HER NAME IF I WERE NOT WATCHING ON DEMAND! I was assured that I would not have to DVR as many shows because they are on demand now, however, you can’t even PAUSE on Fox On Demand let alone back up to watch again. Oh how I miss the benefits of DISH TV but not the crappy Internet. Life is about compromises I suppose.
It’s already time for the elimination and the crowning of then next temporary princess or whatever. So there is that. It’s recap fast or don’t recap at all. No time for editing or thinking of some clever comments.
Matt likes a girl with a mischievous side. He always does the opposite of what I think he will do!
Andrea and Kimberly who look pretty much the same to me are called to speak with Sir. I can’t believe he did not send home the vomiting oyster girl. I think because they both look similar he could narrow it down that way. Andrea the tea girl is crying already. She is the tea bitch. I think he will keep her. Then again, she got a lot of air time, and I don’t even have a memory of Kimberly. Perhaps she was the one he was talking to when the “secret service” came and dragged him away? Y’all are going to have to help me in comments until I get everyone’s faces down. Which won’t happen for several episodes. 🙂
He sends Andrea home. She says she was first runner-up in every pageant she has competed in, so to go early was shocking and he is not her type anyway. Kimberly giggles when he asks her to move her into the suite. Kimberly’s dress is three notches below Forever 21. Matt has terrible taste. I think he is so insecure that he is aiming low. That said, Kim is really sweet and cute in the suite.
The other girls are all drunk. Especially oyster vomiting girl. She can barely speak. YAY! Her name is Maggie. She really needed to go tonight. Matt can hear Maggie’s drunken rants from his room. Jackie is besties with Maggie. Jackie goes in on two other girls and calls them mean girls. Jackie is drunk too One of the mean girls, Megan, says she could eat alphabet soup and shit out things that made more sense that what comes out of her mouth. I think I love Megan.
Now, I am going to insist that you guys fess up that you are watching this!
I AM watching it. I didn’t see the end last night because ,as soon as he sent the girl home ,I deleted it thinking it was over. There are a couple of girls who are kind of cute but there are a bunch who are homely (and that is being kind). What type of contests was Miss Runner-Up participating in ? Wow ! It is a meaningless, forgettable , trashy waste of time but I do want to see how it ends.
lol the one sent home was a bitch. I hate the oyster puking one.
On Wed, May 28, 2014 at 7:54 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Even with bad facial recognition, I don’t understand how these chicks don’t know that’s not really Prince Harry. And do they really think he’d go on a reality show?
Full disclosure: I do not watch this show, so have no idea what I’m really talking about.
I think he is a dead ringer. But then again, I can’t tell half the housewives apart… And Harry is known for embarrassing the family by wanting to be just a regular guy, in the military, in Vegas, and is sort of the wild child, so I could see myself buying it.
On Wed, May 28, 2014 at 7:58 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I admit it – I watch it and I love it. I think it’s hilarious. And I’m hanging in there to the bitter end. Glad you’re blogging this, TT!
Bless you my child. I love this. This is what Reality TV is supposed to be, silly and fun.
I totally agree! This is like a breath of fresh air, compared to the other shows.
I tried to give this a show a 2nd chance, but I could not stay awake watching this late last night. It was so boring, and I don’t even recall ANY of the details in your recap…. But I do support the idea for the show because redheads are under represented & under appreciated on TV. #GingersRule
word! lol
On Wed, May 28, 2014 at 8:42 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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@Urethra Franklin~ You are correct….#GingersRule. Last year my youngest (who has gorgeous red hair) got swarmed at the Carolina Cup Steeplechase by young sorority girls saying that he reminded them of Harry.
Dammit! I want to watch this show, and I keep missing it! Oh well, next week, I guess. It sounds like fun.
It’s on demand if you have that.
On Wed, May 28, 2014 at 9:18 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Oh and you forget because RHONY is on at the same time I think. I have lots of conflicts in that time slot.
Well, that’s why then. I know you don’t blog about RHONY, but I have to say after last night’s episode, I won’t watch it again.
@TT. I meant to watch last night but I was competing for a new reality show “Hanging With Queen Lizzy”. I think I might have a chance because I acted all indignant that the newspapers published photos of Willie’s wife’s bum when the heliocopter blew her dress up. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
Yay! There was a rerun of the first episode tonight, so I finally got to see it. I think I like this show. “Harry” is cute, in my opinion. So soft spoken and “proper”.
welcome to the dark side, Cat!
On Fri, May 30, 2014 at 10:39 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Haha…Why, thank you! I love darkness. 🙂
Ok..watched it on demand, and am now up to speed with everyone. I have to say, this is now my favorite reality show. It’s so light and funny. I love the way Matt plays his role so carefully (and skillfully).
As for Andrea, it amazes me how the women on these dating shows always leave saying “He wasn’t my type, anyway.” If you didn’t really like “gingers”, why didn’t you leave on your own the first time you saw him?
Beauty queens…Meh.
I watched the first ep on demand. I’ll be watching the next episode (the one in this recap) on demand just to see the oyster choking girl and Maggie tell off the other girl. I’m sure I’ll chuckle.
I like this show. I get it. And he really does look like Harry. After the next episode, I’m going to start taking bets on who who chooses at the end.
I am a little sad right now. Sad that there are people that fell for this.
Boo, Oh Viva you ain’t looking at this right!
On Wed, May 28, 2014 at 11:36 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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i know i’m sorry, i’m sorry…i guess bc i’ve been such an avid royal watcher it just seems obvious to me. even if he was a clone of harry, i have to wonder – do these women really think prince harry would do a bachelor show and it wouldn’t be all over the news? did they sequester these ladies like a jury? i have so many questions!
I will concede the fact that Americans are stupid, and about Royals especially. But the fact is we don’t care, we don’t pay attention and he is here frolicking in the Vegas pools and being a regular military guy. I’d assume if he could do that, he could do a dating show if he felt like it and even THE QUEEEEEN of ENGLAND could not prevent it. Would it be likely? No, but 20 year old me would have bought into this.
On Fri, May 30, 2014 at 12:47 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I love the show. I think he happens to be a spot on cuter version of Harry. I also can see the girls being a combination of desperate and gullible enough to be on the fence looking for a reason for it to be true. As for the clothes, they have to be producer induced. No one could be dumb enough to wear what they are wearing in this situation let alone all of them. Thank you for blogging!
I’m sorta hatewatching this show, but they’re not making it easy to stick with it–it is so friggin boring. It really makes me appreciate Flavor of Love and its ilk–casting is everything. The girls are really bland. Fake Harry is a cutie though.
Do not google isle of White. You’ll just get I dunno, Ireland. It’s
Isle of Wight.
🙂
I’ve never been that interested in England or Ireland. It seems sort of boring. Am I Wight?
On Thu, May 29, 2014 at 12:49 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Good grief I’m losing brain cells, I thought the title meant Harry, everyone’s bed buddy from RHONYC.
I’m definitely watching this train wreck! I heard about it several weeks ago and couldn’t wait to watch !
TT is spot on with her recaps. I agree with whoever commented that these girls are a tad desperate. I’m actually embarassed for most of them— especially drunk, oyster-gagging girl. I imagine she’ll be kept for several weeks just for her cringe-worthy behaviour!!
My 18 year-old daughter is watching with me. I’m half-English, so we find the gullibility of these girls to be outrageous. True, Matt does resemble HRH Prince Harry and he is just adorable and I find his occupation to be quite interesting and pretty awesome. But, knowing what we know about the Royal Family (obviously a tad more than the average American), we watch more as Brits than Americans.
First, HRH Harry is NOT a “Prince of Wales” ! His father, and subsequently his brother and nephew will be the only ones with this particular title, and then, only one of them will have it. Fake Harry has security, not Secret Service ! That’s solely American, though he might have protection from Scotland Yard or private security. Finally, although I could go on & one, but I won’t for obvious reasons–no Prince of Royal blood would ever be on a reality dating show! I wonder why that is the first clue that he’s not Harry! I suppose its the old “we see what we want to see” syndrome. Everything that’s to the contrary is ignored by wishful thinking.
I already have a favorite lady, just wish I could remember her name. She was the sweet, pretty blonde who was part of the tea service. She’s just adorable and very ladylike and sweet.
There are some real “characters” (for lack of a better word!) on this show. I predict a few broken hearts, some angry reactions and an overall sense of betrayal in the future episodes
Thank you for the entertaining recap TT! I now must read if only for Miss Megan. Anyone that can read somone using poop and alphabet soup has to be good TV. It goes on the DVR list.
I will have to get by on reading your recaps because I just cannot bring myself to watch this one. I have only seen snippets of the show on the Soup and it makes me very grateful that my own 20something kids are not this damn dumb.
Unless it is along the lines of the Monarchy series on PBS, the Queen would not sign off her grandson and his protection officers participating.
I’m actually watching and enjoying this show. It’s great to have a reality show that’s not “Bravo-flavored” and violence-induced for ratings. Matt may not be Prince Harry, but he’s certainly cute and sweet and probably far too nice for most of these loud wenches. The only thing I don’t understand is how these girls could think they would be suitable matches for Harry if this was legit. Oh, if we could only see ourselves as others see us!
Okay, so I broke down and watched a few minutes of the show during commercial breaks for “The Young Victoria.” The girls are all about as bright as a 4 watt bulb and the “Prince” does indeed seem charming.