Back when Real Housewives of New Jersey was on, Teresa Giudice, New York Timers Bestess Saling Arther, used a ghost writer to write her blogs. I used to try to translate them back to the Teresa version before she polished it up. Today, I shall do the same thing for whoever is writing for Nene. Translations in purple font.
Season six ended just the way many wanted… with foolery and the negativity of women sitting on the same couch belittling each other! Many find it entertaining but I found it negative and sad at times!
The plans I had to bring foolery and negativity to the reunion, totally backfired in my face. It’s not entertaining when all eyes are not on me.
“Yes I am a part of this circle and I take full responsibility for my actions! Did I just say that? LOL! Before you start rolling your eyes and poppin your gums, no one is perfect! “
Look, why do I have to be the one to take responsibility for my actions? Everyone else is a bitch too!
“When the season started I had just married my love, Gregg, and come off an amazing high right into a bunch of drama! It was a downer for me to say the least!”
I suckered that dumb queen Andy into thinking my marriage was over just so he would give me the spin-off I deserved. If Kim got a spin-off, surely I should have one. Finally, a show just about me. By the time RHOA filming rolled around, I was in no mood to share the spotlight. What a bummer!
“I found myself working with women who lie, try to steal husbands, friends, buy boyfriends and cry with lawn mower voices! Wow what people will do for 2 dollars and 50 cents! All this became so draining to me!”
I hate that Kenya! All she did was steal my shine and make me look stupid! I hate her so much!!!!!!
“Look I am definitely a straight shooter with no chaser! I give it to you direct! No harm intended and I don’t apologize just for the sake of it! If I believe in something strongly I don’t see the need to! I tend to say what many are thinking and I just don’t practice lying! I am all about a good shade-throwing moment, but throwing fists as grown women is crazy to me!”
I really, really, super, duper hate Kenya. I tried to get Porsha to clock her and all she did was yank her to the ground. That was not what we discussed! Porsha is a fucking idiot that can’t be relied on to do a damn thing right!
“Although I found this season to be draining, I actually learned a lot! I learned that TV friendships are just made for TV so thank God I have real friends! “
I can’t even rely on Cynthia to do my damn dirty work anymore! She frolicked with the damn enemy all season. She is a fucking idiot that can’t be relied on to do a damn thing right!
“I learned that snakes are no longer in the grass, they are on TV and in designer clothing!”
I hate Kenya so much! I even tried teaming up with Phaedra and high fived her felon so they would go after her. She didn’t even acknowledge their existence!
“I learned that no matter how successful I become, I will always have critics amongst this group of women! Lastly, I learned that what don’t kill ya will definitely make you stronger!”
These bitches need to RECOGNIZE! I am filling in for a drag queen for five days in Vegas! I am an A-List actress! I am not a washed up stripper! I rule Hollywood! Why can’t these bitches see that?
“Oh and I didn’t know that the gays own the word Queen now! Interesting Ummhmmmm!”
I hate the gays. I hate the gays so much!
“This has truly been a learning experience for me, but now I want to focus on my upcoming performance in Cirque Du Soleil Zumanity June 27th through July 1st and the launching of my clothing line on HSN in July!”
I have turned down so many million dollar roles in Hollywood, just so I could be in some circus porn in Vegas! I am filling in for a drag queen for five whole days! Then I will be selling some clothes that I would never wear to poor people who shop on HSN! I’m Ritch! Bitch!
“Now with that said, I will have you know that this blog has been brought to you by Nene Leakes, meaning that this is my opinion and if you don’t like it, too bad! I said what I said and I won’t be changing it #SHADE”
I really, really hate Kenya. That queen Andy better let me come back next season.
She turns down million-dollar contracts to do circus porn in Las Vegas and to be on a show where bitches make fools of themselves? Aye!
I thought the same thing. This woman I so delusional and thinks the rest of the human race are idiots.
When she told her agent she didn’t even read the script for an actual movie role with some A listers, I died. She turned that down for 5 days of circus porn in Vegas? LMFAO, aye! is right on the mark. SMDH
The worst part is that she says this out loud and expects people to believe this.
Brilliant.
She’s so pathetic! She pretends to take responsibility all while blaming others! Classic Nene!! #byewig
LMAO!! TT your translation is on point, you said what you said and you’re not changing it. #TRANSLATINGREALSHADE
She doesn’t want to share the word ‘queen’ with anybody.
She has to share the word. Bravo has a show called Fashion Queens and two of them are gay. I was shocked when Andy said that he was offended by the use of the word queen. What was that all about? Did he forget that he is calling two of his own gay brothers queens? Great translation btw. NeNe looked mortified during most of the reunion especially when Cynthia wouldn’t back down. Kenya didn’t look much happier by the end of the reunion. Two evil women trying to pretend like their chit don’t stink.
It was not that Nene used the word Queen to describe Brandon, but rather how she said it. She called Brandon a Queen with lots of disgust and nastiness in her voice.
Exactly, it wasn’t the use of the word, it was the way she used it and talking about him being in a red nightgown or whatever she said and referring to him using female pronouns when he does not use them toward himself. Everything about what she say about him was meant to be a gay slur.
Nene has NEVER liked gay men. Even Dwight. She’s made statements in the past but that was before she became such an overall vile person so everyone cut her some slack.
On Wed, May 7, 2014 at 9:48 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
He has two gay brothers? That is a bit unusual.
There are different kinds of gay men. Lawrence and Derek J dress like women, and act like women. Not all gay men do. Andy doesn’t wear high heels, or dresses or carry around a purse. You can call Derek and Lawrence a “queen” but to call a gay man like Andy, or Anderson Cooper, “Queens” when they clearly dress like men, and are not trying to be feminine, is offensive.
Nene has a stereotypical image of what a gay male is, she thinks of the men who wear high heels and rainbow thongs and parade up and down the street, or Lawrence and Derek… Which in the real world, they are the minority of gay men. Most do not act or dress like them.
Nene leakes is a black woman, but if someone non-black walked around and said ” the fight started because she was walking around acting like a damned black woman” or ” she needs to start the game and stop acting like a damned black woman” it would have been highly offensive. The term didn’t matter it was the use, and I’m TRULY concerned about people who don’t seem to get that.
HILARIOUS! I’m trying not to laugh out loud or pee my pants at my desk here at work! You’re the best!!!! Nene made a complete fool of herself all season. It was a pathetic show of what can happen when you let fame go to your head.
Her behavior at the reunion was so childish- I think her light is out and she is done with her 15 minutes – Hope Bravo reads these –
Tamara, this is the “Most”, I mean the very “Best”, re-write I have ever read. This was delicious, healing, funny as hell, and so authentic!!!! Girl, you Rock!!! Andy and Kenya have got to read this……
Her delusions of grandeur have reached an all new level of stupidity. Linethia, please sit your uneducated a$$ down somewhere. No one is here for you, accept those that are as ridiculous as you.
Dying at your all truth telling translations. The way she “apologizes” is so translucent. She’s still dumb enough to hang onto that queen comment all the while performing in an LGBT friendly show, Nene clearly wants the door slammed in her faces Hollywood, give her what she wants.
face*
WreckitRetha! I thought your “faces” was spot on as Nene has at least two. No need to correct IMO.
Masterpiece…every word believable!!!
She’s a real asshole about the “queen” thing. It was CLEARLY meant as an insult to Brandon for “acting gay.” She won’t explain how she meant it in a different way so we can only assume she meant it in the usual, negative sense.
If someone called her a “coon” for “acting black” she’d have heart failure.
That photo needs to read “99 problems and they all Kenya Moore”
TT I see you have a masters degree in speaking Nenenese.
Amen! My first time here and I almost wet my pants laughing. Great job, TT!!! BRAVA!!!
She is right up there with Apollo (just for different reasons) . He has his fans and young people that look up to him…..and she is just as delusional as he is. She is completely in the dark about filling in for a drag queen. Doesn’t she realize how much she looks like a man dressed up like a woman??? I am starting to think she really doesn’t get it. How very strange.
Oh dear lord Tamara, that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long ass time. That definitely deserves some happy pill funding because it was hilarious.
Now if I may play devil’s advocate for a moment. I am a native Las Vegan and feel like I need to represent. In Las Vegas we have our A Listers and that would be the dancers and performers on the strip. Our B Listers are our strippers. Our D Listers are our prostitutes. So, you can clearly see why Nene would be shouting on the rooftops because in this instance, in this small part of the world and for a week she can tell herself she is on the A List. I might go see it if it’s not too expensive.
Wow! The self deception is breathtaking.
Wait! You forgot about how much she hates Kenya. 😉
love this blog!
The ghostwriter needs to be shot! Ending each and every sentence with an exclamation point is extremely annoying! It also makes all the BS s/he is writing even less believable!
This is pure purple brilliance, T.T.! Now I KNOW for sure you have Uranus in an angular house.
You can tell by Ne Ne’s speaking that she doesn’t even write those bravo blogs, much less her personal ones. At least Bravo will edit…they would, wouldn’t they? Let me not assume.
After she said “fistsess” after that Pajama Party Fight, I KNEW! Not to mention Marlo calling her dumb! Ne Ne, we hope you’re paying your ghostwriter well. ‘Cause if not & they ever got salty about it, they might out you… Lol… Diana, is that you? Is it YOU penning these up for Ne Ne? Or is it Lexi? Lexi, we like you…so far. 🙂
hilarious!! it has to be Diana or Lexi! We know it isn’t Cynthia since they r no longer friends! (good for Cynthia!)
TT, those translations made me howl. So funny. Does Nene have a clue, even a small one, about how ridiculous she sounds? I don’t get how anyone could be that deluded. She says she has ‘real friends’ but, does she really? Real friends tell you the truth, give you good advice and try to steer you in the right direction. Her ‘friends’ might just be a bunch of cowardly sycophants
You mean the episode where Teresa said that she wrote every blog herself while she one finger typed from her handwritten draft wasn’t true? OMG, so now I get it. On Bravo, even when I see it, I can’t believe it.
“and I just don’t practice lying” because she already knows how to do it 😉
omg! I just found this site. I looovvveee it! Tamara keeps it sooo real!!! I used to like Nene but after this season oh boy, can’t stand her one bit! I have always liked Kenya, she is crazy but she knows what she is talking about! love that she didn’t acknowledge Fakedra n her boy. Why stoop to their level! Oh yeah, Nene has lost the throne to Kenya, Can’t wait for next season, I truly truly hope they did get RID OF Porsha!!! Go Kenya! Twirl it Chica!
Tamara is the best.. and I read a lot of them, but she is always on point. I never really liked NeNe but after this season, she disgusts me. Kenya is crazy but she really is funny and entertaining, im #teamtwirl. I hope Phaedra and Porsha are gone.. I can’t take Porsha’s stupidity and Phaedra is just plain dirty, I hope she joins her hubby in jail where she belongs!
Sorry Tamara, I just found your site a few days ago and immediately wanted to comment. I hadn’t read the rules n called a housewife (who I hope is gone next season btw) out of her name. I will stay civil and articulate my thoughts well.
Can’t wait to read more of your posts. Will go back and read polder ones 🙂
Could this have been any more egocentric? Wow, she has a major hardon for the gays now! Wonder what happened to extinguish that love affair? I say that since Nene is such a sterling example of living a life as a quality human being, we throw her a “fonkshun”, or better yet, how about a parade?
Just the truth of how she feels slipping out, you hear that Ryan Murphy? I wonder if Andy has his ears open. He is so spineless.
after a long day and on the verge of a mental breakdown….this is satire is exactly what i needed
Nene really needs to sit down for a few an think about what the hell she’s saying cuz in real time she’s a nothing but on a show with other women playing on a franchise for Bravo, LoL !!
Thank you TT, that was really fun.
Nene’s ghost writer is better than Teresa’s, she uses small words will little introspection.
Thank you so much for this “translation.” Spot on perfect. I have a confession: I am really becoming addicted to this site. You keep the tea piping hot and fresh! Keep up the good work!
Thank you TT. I didn’t understand half of what that crazy, self-important delusional ex-stripper wrote until your translation. I can always count on you!
Holy exclamation marks, Ghost Writer!
Pathetic. Even juicy joe apologized for his gay comments. If Joe is demonstrating more class and humility than you, you just simply suck.
That was so good, my side hurts.
What Nene can’t seem to grasp is not the use of the word QUEEN, but the way it was said.
She spit that word out with hate & great disdain for Brandon. Then she kept comments on his red gown…
But Nene can’t admit she’s wrong, that half-hearted apology (should I throw a funk-shun?), did not cut it.
Just because you were on an NBC show about 2 gay men, does not make you gay friendly…Nene makes a habit of slipping and showing her true self.
She is a fake & a phony, who will use anyone to further her crumbling career.
I just can’t imagine anyone running out to buy what she’s selling.
So, I’ll be very surprised if her clothing collection is successful.
As for Hollywood, there’s a very large LGBT community working, and after having the chance to redeem herself at the reunion, but tut-tuting it away…
I don’t think there are going to be too many doors open to Ms Leakes.
*Boop*
Your translations are too funny for Naynay, Tamara! Everytime you make an Apollo and Nene post I know it’s going to be a goodie.
Why do people that have No respect for others always think they deserve everyone’s respect. Respect must be earned and Nene hasn’t earned even $2.50 worth of respect from where I’m sitting.
I would bet that Kenya is at home reading this and rolling on the floor! It’s accurate and funny at the same time and you can read Ninny better than anyone else.
Tamara, that was the best read ever!!
The irony in all this, Tamara, is that for 2.50 cent first years deal, she did far more worst.
TT, this made me cackle like a Halloween with!!! The GIF at the beginning???? LMAOOOOOOOO!!! And high 5 Phaedra’s felon????? HILARIOUS!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
TT, this made me cackle like a Halloween witch!!! The GIF at the beginning???? LMAOOOOOOOO!!! And high 5 Phaedra’s felon????? HILARIOUS!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Donald Trump should be embarrassed whenever NeNe Leakes mentions his name. She is the most arrogant and disrespectful person on the planet!!!!!!!!!
She gives black women a bad name and she has let this show business thing go right to her head. Actually she gives the whole race a bad name. The way she behaved at the reunion show was disgusting. That goes for mama joyce too!!!!!!!!!!
Donald Trump should be embarrassed in general. He is equally unapologetic for his ignorant and hateful comments, politically or otherwise. Trump will take every opportunity to be on TV or on a TV show to portray himself about as a kind, respectful person/man. He is neither. His father made his fortune as a low rent landlord that let those people residing in those apartments apartments apartments without heat, water, electric. He never made necessary repairs, etc. He is haughty and self-serving and so is NeNE. Nene does NOT give black women/the whole race a bad name. No, I am not black. I am a white/caucasian woman. Nene ONLY gives a bad name to NeNe. To lump a whole race to the antics of one woman on a sorry ass reality show is shallow and racist and I am certain that you’ve heard of the word stereotyping. That is exactly what you’re doing. Nene is an ass because she is mean, apartments vindictive, self-serving, narcissistic, and vengeful.
I tweeted Andy (as TT suggested the other day) and asked if he’d be the “Grand Marshal @ NeNe and Greggs Gay Parade”? lol….I’m not good @ Twitter, so not sure if he answered.
Hilarious …..
Rotfl! Classic translation of her blog. #Epic!
I wonder if people tweeted Ryan Murphy about Nene and her husband comment. Anderson Cooper was the one. Who always vouched for her , and got her some gigs. Because of his love for her. Wonder how Cooper, Cohen and Murphy feels now?
Nailed it!! Loved this