A week or so ago, a story about Tamra Judge and the custody of her minor children hit the tabloids and also ended up on HLN with Nancy Grace weighing in on her ex-husband’s allegations of neglect. Simon has filed court documents seeking full primary custody of their kids and in his filing he lists numerous examples of neglect. For the most part, commenters sided with Simon. We saw a bit of his evidence on the Internet that included texts between Sidney and Tamra seemed…inappropriate.
Tamra has opted to use her Bravo blog to throw some gas on the fire share her side of the story.
Here is what Tamra had to say on her Bravo Blog :
I know our blogs are to recap what has happened on this week’s episode, but to be honest with you, the show is the last thing on my mind right now. For today’s blog, I want to share with you what is weighing heavy on my heart.
I would like to start my blog by saying this has been the most devestating week of my family’s life, and I want to thank my family, friends, therapist, fans and complete strangers for their support. I have gotten so many messages from people sharing their similar stories and it really has helped me get through some tough hours. To be accused of exaggerated and false allegations is every mother’s/father’s nightmare. I would not wish it on anyone and my heart goes out to all those parents that are dealing with the exact issue. As I always say…DIVORCE DOESN’T HURT KIDS, ANGRY/BITTER PARENTS HURT KIDS.
My children are my life and I love and cherish them with all my heart. It’s a love that only a parent knows. All I ever wanted to be was a mother, just like my mom and my grandmother. I even wrote in my blog that even though it is hard to share your children 50-percent of the time, I believe that divorced children should have both parents in their lives. I have always told the children that it would be great if their dad could live right across the street so they could see us both every day. It’s unfortunate that he doesn’t feel the same way.
It truly is ironic that this episode aired while all this is happening. I had NO idea that what was filmed six months ago, my pain of sharing my kids, would be what I am dealing with today. What most people didn’t know is that my relationship with my 15-year-old, Sidney, was strained and she decided that she wanted to live with her Dad. This came as a total shock to me! Sure, I knew things were not prefect and we didn’t always see eye-to-eye, but I thought it was her age? I had the same issues with my mother when I was her age. I often wonder if my parents had been divorced if I too would have ran to my dad? I was in my 20s when my parents divorced and it was extremely hard on me. I choose my mom’s side and didn’t talk to my dad for years. That has now come to bite me in the butt, and I think about the pain I caused my dad all those years.
As parents we are NOT perfect and we make mistakes, but family is everything. I had to hide my tears daily to protect Sidney from this getting out and being made public. Fifteen is a very hard age and I knew if this went public it would be SO hard on her. But now that all this info has been released we have to deal with the public pain as well. I have been called some pretty harsh names in the press like “Monster Mom” and my daughter has had to deal with some mean comments on her social media — she decided it was best to shut it down. We continue to work on our relationship with the help of a therapist, and some days things seem good and others, she pulls away.
Divorce is painful and parents sometimes put children in the middle which causes kids to pick sides which is devastating to the other parent. I think Wendy Williams broke down on camera when her 13-year-old decided he didn’t like her anymore.
This has effected every member of my family — my kids are hurt and confused, my brother is upset and feels he needs to prove to the world that I am an amazing mom. I see the tears in my mom’s eyes when she looks at me and the kids, and my dad wants to get on a plane to be by our side.
I cried to my dad on Easter and he said some something to me that made me open my eyes and snap out of my depression: “It’s time to stop defending yourself and fight for what is important to you.” It’s hard enough to deal with this privately but to deal with this publicly can really push you over the edge. I know this too shall pass and he has no foundation to his allegations, but it still hurts me to see the kids going through this. Thank you to everyone that has reached out to me.
There was some confusion at dinner with Heather that I wanted to clear up. Me wanting to have a child with Eddie and having my kids 50-percent of the time were two different issues. I don’t think Heather understood what I was trying to say. Being newly married and absolutely in love with my husband, I naturally want to have a child with him. He is an amazing step-father to my kids and in the past, expressed he would like to have one of his own. I want to share with him the love of a baby and not the replacement of my kids when they are at their dad’s house. I understand that I am 46 and have had my tubes tied and a year ago went through emergency abdominal surgery and had some female issues that prevent me from caring my own baby. But there are so many options for us to explore, stay tuned to see what happens next.
I do think it is very sad that this is now a topic for public consumption. It is very suspicious that it got so much coverage and that it was featured on Nancy Grace. The court of public opinion seems to have already tried and convicted Tamra.
As we saw with the Porsha/Kenya situation Bravo viewers work up a serious level of hatred for some of the housewives. Those that hated Kenya with a purple passion were unable to see anything other than what they wanted to see. Tamra is probably one of the most hated housewives ever so there is a shortage of compassion for her on the Internet.
Tamra’s oldest son is all over the place talking about Simon being physically abusive toward Tamra and even going to jail for domestic violence. It’s all gotten very ugly with siblings choosing sides while being in the middle of a giant tug of war.
I really don’t know what the best resolution for these kids will be. Right now, from where I sit, none of the options look particularly good. What do you think the judge should do?
Tamra is a great mother. Enough said.
One thing that is gnawing at me: wouldn’t these records as a minor be sealed? How did this information get out? Did Simon leak this?
Kate, we’ve all watched that show for many seasons. He was so mean to Tamra. With that said, I believe with all my heart Simon is probably leaking information. You know how it goes with men, they don’t want you but they can’t stand seeing you happy with someone else. She actually look about 7 years younger since she has been with Eddie.
What’s your definition of a good mother?
If Tamara really is a narcissist and a sociopath like I suspect her to be, than she doesn’t have in her to be a good mom or a good wife, or a good friend. Tamra is manipulative and cunning and she enjoys hurting people.
If I was forced to make a decision I would listen to the kids and their therapist.
Wikunia,
Just because your beliefs differ from mine, it does not warrant a verbal conflict. I meant what I said. Have a nice day.
Vanessa,
Please don’t be offended by my post. I’m not looking for a conflict, but I love an honest discussion.
Since English is my second language (and I’m still working on it) it is possible that I worded my question in a way that you thought I’m attacking you. I’m not.
I just want to know when did you ever see Tamra being a great mother? When did you see the children being the priority for her?
Wikunia,
By the way, I love your name. I was not offended by your writing. However sometimes responses can get a little overheated especially when two or more people do not agree. Now back to Tamra Judge. I have been watching Orange County Housewives almost since its inception (season 2). It is now season 9. I have observed her relationship with her ex-husband and her children. She was/is a great mother. You don’t get to see that now because Simon will not allow their children on camera (and i accept that Is his right). We should never confuse her on-camera persona with her friends — with that of her relationship with her children. It is totally different. I prefer watching her with her children. It is like a breathe of fresh air. Simon too was a good father, but he was not kind to Tamra. I hope this response was helpful to you.
How sick Simon must be to use his children to hurt their mother. He always seemed narcissistic and unable to accept Tamra for who she was.
I’ve tried three times to leave comments on Tamra’s blog but I think she’s blocking negative comments. She’s had custody issues with Simon since the divorce. She stated on the show that she’s up at 4:45 every morning and is at Cut seven days a week. I’m not sure what she does there but Eddie could probably handle the place on his own so she could spend more time with her children when they’re supposed to be with her. She should never have renewed her contract with Bravo. Tamra made a mess of raising Ryan, I’d hate to see her do the same thing to the other three children.
Why on earth would you think it your place to leave nasty comment on Tamra’s blog?
On Sat, Apr 26, 2014 at 4:06 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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BTW – Terri — it’s been my experience that she doesn’t block negative comments — just stupid ones….
They were not nasty comments, nor were they stupid comments. I was questioning her judgment which is something she’s opened the door to by her behavior on the show & blogging about the issue. Guess I’ll keep my opinion to myself if it’s going to upset some of you.
It’s not your opinion that upsets me. It’s your need to insert yourself directly into a child custody situation by giving your opinion directly to the mother involved. It’s also the fact that you don’t seem to see the difference between chatting about Tamra around the water cooler and Tweeting or commenting directly to her as if she gives a shit about the assessment you make of her life while watching her on TV for ten minutes a week.
And finally, your sense of irritation that your condescending comment might be moderated to avoid the mother in the middle of a parenting crisis seeing it.
For me, us all discussing the situation here or around the kitchen table is lighthearted gossip. Attempting to directly contact the people involved and give them a piece of your mind, is……. a little bit scary.
On Sat, Apr 26, 2014 at 5:05 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I understand your viewpoint but I generally don’t like talking about someone behind their back. The situation sucks for the kids and she might have been better off not using her blog to discuss it. Lesson learned though. I’ll give a little more thought to what I say.
Terri, if it makes you feel any better, regarding the fact that you generally don’t like to talk about people behind their backs, remember you’re on the internet. There’s no such thing as behind anyone’s back in an open forum discussion on the internet. That’s the way the internet works. Who knows she could be following this thread as we speak. I think the reason they block any negative (or positive in some cases) comments is because they have to be careful of any stalkerish behavior with all the crazies that want to reach out and touch them. I know these Housewives kinda signed up for their life to be an open book, however it has to get scary and out of control for them with so many strangers wanting to talk to you. I think they get plenty of advice. Enjoy your Sunday.
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to have all of this play out in public. I think if any one of us had a spotlight pointed on certain areas of our lives, we could be portrayed in a light that could be twisted to look unfavorable. Tamara loves her children, and considering the kind of child abuse that takes place every single day in this country, Simon should be ashamed of himself for making these kind of accusations. We’ve all seen Tamara have moments on camera that make us cringe – but no one knows how any of those things translate into her parenting. If I were the judge, and Simon has no evidence to back up the things he’s putting out in the media, I’d make sure he understood in no uncertain way that the court system is not his toy. And there’s absolutely no coincidence that these allegations came out right as the season RHOBH started….
Um, she signed up for that spotlight. That’s what famewhores do. Now, she has to suffer the consequences of her craving to be a reality “star.” She cannot have it both ways; tough shit.
Wow…. You had to work pretty hard to completely miss my point…. Thanks tho!!
Yeah, how come no one seems to think that she should not write about it on her Bravo blog if she wants privacy? Am I missing something?
So a woman should be at home with her kids instead of trying to earn a living? OK. I didn’t know we were still living in the 1940’s… Please fuck off.
It’s not talking behind someone’s back if you don’t know them.
The whole talking about someone’s back defense was stupid. If you walk up to random people on the streets and start lecturing them on how to live their lives, you can’t justify that by saying that you heard about their situation at the Jr League tea party and didn’t want to talk behind their back.
You don’t insert yourself in your BFF’s love life by confronting their spouse and reading them the riot act because you “don’t want to talk behind someone’s back”
That defense doesn’t work for inserting yourself into situations that do not concern you.
On Sun, Apr 27, 2014 at 5:13 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Tamara has said that the gym “Is my baby, 24/7” maybe she wasn’t spending enough time with her daughter.
I hate Tamra but I think Simon is a bigger ass. He was controlling and an insecure man. Splitting the kids 50/50 is hard on the kids. I would be easier on the kids to spend the weekdays at the same house and the weekends at the other house. These two hate each other. Simon leaked the info which hurt his kids and Tamra.
Simon is probably pissed every time he sees Eddie.
How do you know it was Simon who leaked this info?
It is entirely possible Tamra did that to garner support and to get readers of her blog to empathize with her.
The information was leaked just as the new RHOC season started. It’s the timing that makes me think it’s Simon. Fan favorites get renewed by Bravo. He may be trying to stop her from being on the show.
Simon filed the documents back in March. They were not leaked for a month. That is enough time for TMZ and places that constantly monitor celebrity court documents to find them.
Or it could have been either one of them. I can’t imagine either one of them having a motive to make this a public spectacle, but I don’t understand a lot of things people do these days to get attention.
On Sat, Apr 26, 2014 at 6:38 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I agree with you Tamra. I just thought minors records were sealed so the TMZ people couldn’t know that unless someone leaked them on purpose.
Maybe, but this is a custody suit. I don’t think they are sealed like say, a juvenile criminal case would be. I may be wrong. But the case is essentially against Tamra.
On Sat, Apr 26, 2014 at 7:02 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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We see custody agreements discussed all the time in the media. Like Halle Berry trying to move to Paris and such. I don’t think they are normally sealed.
I meant to write custody court records for minors are supposed to be sealed. I thought that was the rule. Whoever filed this charge must have requested that they be unsealed so that TMZ could find them. And sorry Tamara for spelling your name wrong. I’m stuck in bed sick.
The only stuff we see is on tv. There is no way we can judge her parenting unless we are living under her roof and spend actual real time with her and her kids. These things always get to me. A lot of times they are all about one parent trying to hurt the other one and using their children to do it. Nobody wins….especially the children. It’s too sad for words.
What do I think the judge should do? Get off reality TV would be a good first step.
I don’t think any of us should judge her..we don’t see her with her children in tv.. Simon made sure if that… I recall him a couple if years should bitching about the kids being in the spotlight because of her and yet grease the one flooding fb and twitter with pics if the kids not her..I remember when he was married to her and on the show..he was a real scumbag to her and I felt there may have been some type of abuse there.. just vibe I got from watching them..I don’t think he makes it easy for her and the kids to have a relationship idk he’s a creepy bastard always working some kind of angle jmo
Only Simon and Tamra know the whole truth, however common sense dictates that it would defy reality to be able to run a business, film a TV show and party with your friends and and new husband all while doing homework, baths, small talk, sick days etc. I’m an at home Mother of three and I’m exhausted with a shortage of time every single day. It’s impossible to properly care for kids with her schedule. Period.
Completely agree with this. She really needs more help caring for these kids and/or needs to dial it back in other areas of her life.
You are spot on. Stay at home moms and working moms KNOW the work and time that is required to raise kids CORRECTLY. Kids seem to be happiest with parents who exhibit common sense, unlike Tamra who lacks the sense to get off TV if you are fighting for your kids. Her damage control interview should have included her saying she was going to quit and focus on getting her kids back. With Bravo taping every drink and party she will attend, one with common sense would lay low while in the middle of a custody battle with Simon who is already playing a little dirty.
Yeah, her WWHL with Dr. Drew was painful to watch. Drunk, always doing the opposite of what the Dr. advised, comments and behavior erratic. Hot mess! She may be mother of the year, but as she is portrayed on TV, all I see is a hot mess and I’d be absolutely mortified if I were her child. Priorities!
I don’t know if I agree. Her kids are a bit older so they shouldn’t need constant supervision and I know a handful of super moms that juggle quiet a lot and are pros at doing it. Is Tamara a super mom? I don’t know. But she has gotten in incredible shape which has probably boosted her energy level.
I never liked Simon when he and their children were on the show. Simon wasn’t edited poorly he was a mean spirited bully towards Tamara. My Dad called those type of men cowards.
I doubt he has changed much.
Tamara is so much happier with Eddie it has to be making Simon crazy.
The judge should speak to the children and find out about the broken thumb , the bugs ,find out directly from the school about the frequency of the absences .
Simon sounds as if he’s telling the truth and tamras behavior is so trashy and un-Mom like that most people are disgusted with her . ( she probably wants the kids on the show to strengthen her storyline )However We all know that men get very nasty when they’re rejected plus she moved on so quickly and appears to be happy . If she does love her kids then him taking the kids from her is probably the only thing that will break and devastate her which is what he wants .
The relationship with the 15 year old is hard to say because the child would be acting and unhappy about most everything even If they were still together , she just wouldn’t have anywhere to run when disgruntled. Tamra living with and marrying this guy so soon probably pushed the child over the edge and made the regular crazy of 15 year old girls 100x worse. Very sad.
I don’t know if I completely believe simon, I’m sure there’s some truth mixed with lies. Remember how Adrian Maloof went off and accused her husband of abusing her , breaking one of the sons arm or leg leaving guns around the boys and all kinds of things that were proven untrue .
If tamra didn’t act like a 19 year old wild child these allegations wouldn’t of made a ripple but since she’s a fool she’ll make things worse .
I am definitely not a Tamra fan (in fact I can’t stand her), but I don’t think anyone should be so quick to condemn her parenting. We are very far from knowing the whole story. And a teenage girl that has a problem with their mother…..hmmm, well that’s a shocker.
I strongly believe that it is no one’s business but theirs (the familys) about their parenting … I dont think any of us would want our parenting scrutinized like she does, and he does, and none of us are perfect. There’s 1 thing I don’t get : why the show keeps replaying the clip over and over of Simon asking Tamra to wear a slightly longer skirt, and Tamra saying to him “Last week you didn’t want my t*ts hanging out. this week my skits too short ?!” as if to “demonstrate” his abuse ….. I don’t see the abuse in this clip, not even verbal/emotional , it was a middle-aged man asking his middle aged wife and mom of his children not to overexpose her bpdy … If my husband thinks my outfit is too revealing for the public eye, he’ll tell me right away to change because he feels its disrespectful to him.
He Should probably ask you instead of telling you. You’re his wife, his partner not his daughter.
I agree, I don’t see any abuse in the clip your speaking of .
how can anyone but the parties involved really know what is going on? i remember when i was a teen i used to think if my parents split i would want to be with my dad. the mother-daughter relationship can be so complicated. so the fact that sidney doesn’t want to be with her doesn’t necessarily mean anything. i also know the kindest mildest people who turned into total assholes to each other before they divorced. it got so ugly, even physical, and in a few cases the parents tried to turn their children against the other parent. so i guess the situation isn’t unusual. i also remember the look on tamra’s face in the limo when she told simon she wanted a divorce — i’ve rarely seen such pain. their relationship post divorce seemed typical. don’t know what ratcheted it up many notches. maybe the fact that she married someone else and seems happy? normal things can be exaggerated into horrendous ones (for all we know, we’re talking head lice, which you see even in the best private schools. lots of people eat most of their meals out, so a relatively empty fridge doesn’t necessarily mean anything). so it takes a real pro to figure out what’s really going on. just feel so terrible for the kids. they’re the ones suffering, even ryan. hope the authorities involved are fair. they often are not.
Well said. Teenage girls, in my experience, who come from a split home, invariably play one parent against the other. Unfortunately, it’s usually the mom who gets the brunt of the bad behavior, because as you said, the mother-daughter relationship is a complicated one, in general.
That said, I hate when the kids’ personal business is on display. When Lynn’s daughter opened the door to an eviction notice and a camera in her face, I thought that was a new low.
As for Tamra and Simon, talk about opposites. They probably fought about child rearing when they were married. No doubt they have issues now.
Teenage girls do see their mom as an initial role model. Body shots, anyone?
Ha ha ha ha ha dying!
Indeed the texts were inappropriate but not so bad that she should lose custody. They should go to therapy and learn how to communicate better. What I find more inappropriate is Simon releasing them to the public. I think the best solution is to try to make it work with both parents in the picture. When I was a teenager I hated my mom. If they were divorced I might’ve tried to only be with my father. But in hindsight my mom wasn’t a bad mother but if we had gone to family counciling that time might’ve been easier for all of us. It seems like Simon is trying to pit his kids against their mother and that is just as selfish and cruel as he claims tamera to be.
In the texts the KID tells Tamra she would prefer to discuss things in their therapy sessions several times.
On Sun, Apr 27, 2014 at 3:22 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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too bad this have to play out publicly
Simon has thought Tamra was a bad Mom for years. If I remember correctly, they were driving to the year end party in a limo. They were fighting and he said something about her always going out and not being home with the kids. She went ballistic. It was that night that she told him she wanted a divorce.
Tamara- Do you happen to have a clip of the limo ride?
I remember that…she said “Fuzk you, I want a divorce”.
She’s always been the epitome of class. Like when she sent her son after Gretchen to make wasted Gretchen look bad for making out with the kid. YOUR SON WAS THE OTHER PAWN IN THAT LITTLE GAME, TAMARA!
Tamara is a train wreck. At times it seems like she married Eddie just for a story line. They only had just met before she wanted to marry him. She is trashy and a fame whore but I think Andy likes her.
If her being on the show is causing all the court battles/privacy issues for her and her children -or at least fueling most of them- why not quit the show? Move on with her new life out of the spotlight and mend the relationships that matter (which I doubt involves the housewife cast). What am I missing here? The solution seems obvious….
I never liked Simon, he was controlling and emotionally abusive, all done in front of the cameras. Tamara isn’t perfect herself, but when a parent starts treating their children like property that’s when a line needs to be drawn. The judge should appoint an ad litum and also a mediator.
Not the hugest fan of Tamra. She stirs the pot alot and causes alot of unnecessary drama…There has to be some sort of neglect for the courts to take this on, I don’t think any parent should go through this, but she seems to always have some sort of drama or issue with everything…friends, family and kids now I guess. I think she should consider leaving show, spend time to fix her family and her story is getting old on the show.