Due to Scandal and The Challenge: Free Agents this show somehow got bumped last night so I am watching it first thing this morning. First of all, once again it was not a live show. The show was filmed on Wednesday night. I don’t understand why Andy wanted a live show, and now rarely actually films live. I do understand it in this case through because who knows if Lindsay would even show up and then Andrew would be talking to himself for half an hour. As it was, rumor has it Lindsay was fashionably late to the taping.
Let us pause to reflect on Lindsay’s ensemble. She is wearing some sort of steel crown a la Games of Thrones on her head. Her chosen article of clothing is a white long-sleeved lace mini dress. It’s see-through so she paired it with a black bra and black ankle boots. It’s…..an interesting look.
Lindsay says she and her mom are both Team Vanderpump and she loves Vanderpump Rules. Andy peed himself a little bit. OMG! The most exciting thin is that Assistant Matt is the bartender! And there is indeed a bar, but it is only for the audience. Andy has opted to abstain in front of Lindsay. But there is a drinking word! The drinking word is “fetch.”
Five minutes in, right after the vault where the last scene was Lindsay on SNL in a Real Housewives of Disney clip, Lindsay takes off the Game of Thrones crown announcing she is over it. So Andy wears it. He was about to do his three things he is obsessed with tonight bit. Somehow the whole crown thing throws things off and he goes into some sort of speed round of questions about her show on OWN. I think he quickly determined she would not be able to sit there quietly for two minutes while he did a monologue, so he moved on. Actually it might be part of his usual 3 things bit. The show is kind of jerky already.
Speed round of questions about the show:
Why don’t you ever wear bras? She doesn’t like them.
Do you still live in the apartment that we saw her on in the show? She says yes. ([Maury Povich Voice] That was a lie! [/Maury Povich Voice]). Then she says she doesn’t know if she can say that or not.
When you saw the models at the Elle Indonesia shoot call you a bitch, what was your reaction? She said the lady that said that was totally different to her face. She was so nice.
Who were you referring to when you said that they gave your potential role in The Avengers to an unknown? The rumor is that is was Colbie Smuthers from How I Met Your Mother. Lindsay just gives Andy a very odd smile and shakes her head.
Do you feel like you’ve been edited fairly on the show? To an extent…
Andy plays a clip called The Real Mean Girls of North Shore High, a bunch of clips from Mean Girls edited as a Real Housewives intro. Lindsay seems to love it.
Questions from the Internet:
What do you think about Rosie O’Donnell after what she tweeted about you the other day? (She said the show is a tragedy on every level.) Lindsay says she heard about that when she was on The View recently. She says it just seems like She’s (Rosie) bored. I don’t understand when actresses talk nasty about other actresses. I don’t find that…I find that to be really sad.
Andy asks about rumors that she was partying at Coachella. Lindsay says, “To be honest, (RED FLAG PHRASE RED FLAG PHRASE!) this Coachella was the best time I’ve ever had. ” She talks about how much fun it was to spend time with her family there. She said it was really nice to be able to do that. She put on a hat and a scarf. She doesn’t answer the question. Andy says, “So it’s BS then that you were partying.” She says, “No I was not.” I personally don’t believe she is being truthful. Andy begins to move on and she interjects, “I was partying in a dancing manner. Which can look like anything to anyone so I get it.”
What would your housewives tagline be? Andy asks her to walk the runway and say it. She aborts the first attempt with laughter and tries again saying, “I’m done with mugshots, and I’m ready for an Oscar.” It was kinda of spectacular. And really peed himself that time.
Will we ever get a Mean Girls 2 and are you in contact with any of your Costars? Um I can answer this. No and No. Lindsay says she is very close with two of the guys whose names I refuse to look up the spelling on. Then she lists four more girls and says, so maybe… I stand by my answer as being the correct one.
What do you think your best performance on film to this date has been? The most uncomfortable was The Canyons, because that was just scary. Georgia Rules she really loved. She says it was a nice experience. Which is insane because filming was constantly being shut down over her antics and she was nearly fired several times if I recall correctly.
Do you regret doing the docu-series? Do you feel that it has helped or hurt you? She says she does not regret it at all. Oprah has been a blessing to her in her life as a friend and a mentor. Andy randomly brings up her being late a lot. Lindsay says that she was edited that way on the show and it was not true.
Are you in a good place with your Dad? Can the same be said of your siblings? She says her whole family is in a good place. She really is in denial.
Returning from a break they showed a clip of Lilo on her show where she appears to pick up a wine bottle from her kitchen countertop and turn with it and slink off camera. Andy asks her about that and she says, ” Do you think I don’t notice those things? Do you think I am not smarter than this by now? (Andy sort of laughs and stutters after every question) Well, I had a dinner party the night before, and I cooked dinner …and I actually made really good…and they didn’t show this on the show…which is kind of a bummer….I cook a lot in the show…(um really while you are in bed with the door locked? Is there a kitchen in there?) cause I like to cook at home.” And that was another non-answer which answers a lot. I think the clip speaks for itself.
Andy asks if Lilo is comfortable with alcohol being around. She says “Well, I’d lose more than half of my friends.”
Andy says that Dina has taken a lot of crap for partying with her. Lilo says, That has never been true. It’s really interesting how people perceive it and what gets told. My mom comes out with me because I force her to come out with me. It’s just a security blanket. That’s my mother.” That whole answer seemed like something that someone who has never had a mother would say if they were trying to emulate what having one would be like. It was very awkward. Andy tried to point out that most people don’t go clubbing with their mom. Lindsay got a bit defensive saying her mom is cool. And retorts with “she’s a cool mom like on mean girls.” Um. shade?
PLEAD THE FIFTH WITH LINDSAY LOHAN! OMG!
Was Samantha Ronson your first time in the lady pond? Yes
What actress who she worked with was the biggest mean girl? Lindsay pleads the fifth/refuses the question
Andy asks her if the list of her leaked sex partners was real after listing some of the names. Lindsay clearly does not like this question, thus answering the question. Lindsay said when she was in AA that was her fifth step. (Pardon me while I google step 5. It appears to be about acknowledging all of your mistakes.) So these were her mistakes?
Well that didn’t tell us much that we didn’t already know. Looks like Lilo is on shaky ground. Hope she pulls herself together!