I’ve been avoiding doing this post for quite some time. The screener has been mixed in with the gobbledygook that is my office desk (*cough* coffee table *cough*)waiting for me to have a laptop that I can watch the screener on while typing on another. The time has come and there is still this inexplicable resistance. But the time has come to pop the CD in and get on with Season Nine (9!!!!) of the original show that got us all addicted to this mess in the first place.
Vicki, Tamra and Heather are the sole survivors from last season. They will be joined by Shannon Beador, who Bravo PR describes as “quirky” which is nice speak for “batshit crazy” and “the opinionated former beauty queen,” Lizzie Rovsek. There is also a new FOTH, Danielle Gregario who we won’t see until episode three.
Hmm…they are not showing us the new taglines in the screener. Wonder why not? Heather and Terry are building their new house while living like mere mortals on a cul-de-sac of all places! Terry is the biggest divo in the world and simply can’t bear living like commoners. Shannon is introduced to Heather first when Heather goes to look at her home for building ideas. Shannon has three girls, including a set of twins. Shannon did not feel her twins were bonding so she had a DNA test done, to prove they were HERS! I’m not sure Heather and Shannon will get along. Shannon is out there. But I do agree with her cell phone stance.
Newlyweds Tamra and Eddie have opened Cut Fitness. Tamra is not very…coordinated? athletic? She seems worried about the younger women working out with Eddie. I don’t think younger women is what she needs to be worried about.
Vicki is back with Brooks. Sort of.
Heather and Tamra (mostly Tamra) feel the need to bash Gretchen even though she is not on the show anymore. And Bravo feels the need to use the footage. Interesting. Heather has a small part on an episode of Hawaii Five-O where she plays the killer’s girlfriend. Has that already aired? Vicki and Tamra will join her for a weekend jaunt to Hawaii.
Briana finally has her own condo with her son Troy and Ryan. When Ryan returned from his tour he immediately got Briana knocked up again just in time for another baby birthing on season nine! Ryan got orders to relocate to Oklahoma. Vicki is displeased by the possible relocation.
The Hawaii trip is adorable. In fact this whole episode so far is light and fun and what we all signed up for in the beginning. The scenes with Shannon are must see TV that I shan’t spoil for you! She had a lot of screen time this week, and we have yet to meet the other new ladies.
This season, the ladies go to Bali. It looks like they had a blast. Shannon’s crazy seems to blend well with Vicki’s. Heather gets pushed out of the Vicki, Tamra, Heather trio for being to smart and civilized to hang. We go to Oklahoma to look at houses for Briana and her brood and Vicki freaks out about the tornado shelters. Sadly it looks to be a season where everyone gangs up on Heather, including the new girls. Briana continues to interfere in Vicki’s love life.
The first episode is cute though and you should at least tune in for that. Are you excited for the premiere?
Nope. Won’t watch. But I do look forward to reading your recaps! 🙂
I will be watching because I’ve made it my goal to watch as much mindless television as possible & the RH franchise, and Bravo in general, fit the bill very nicely. Personally, I can’t wait to see everyone gang up on Heather since she has acted like she’s so far above everyone else since she joined the show.
I was going to make the same comment about Heather but since you already did, I’ll just agree with you. I dislike both Terry and Heather. They are such snobs.
I think Heather certainly has bully qualities, which we saw last season, but she is intelligent and although a snob, is a good mother and wife.
Agree 100%. I can’t stand Heather and always thought that she was a snob with very little talent and a whole lot of money. I am not happy to see Briana and her verry messed up husband but that’s the whole VIcki storyline (accept for Brooks). I will be watching and then waiting for your blog.
i sort of got hooked on this one because of your blogs. looking forward to the first episode now. heather still reminds me of jack nicholson’s joker on batman, sadly, which makes it hard to be objective. she’s prolly stayed truer to the above-it-all pose other housewives in these series have tried, tho. doesnt make for fun tv. (ok, that “pop a vein comment” was pretty genius.)
Will watch unless it gets to cringing awful, then will just read here. Thanks for the update, Tamara!
I’m with you Lisa. Can’t bear to watch these morons usually so I come here to get the best scoop on the entire interwebs from Ms. Tamara.
Since I will not have to listen to Gretchen’s horrid voice and laugh, will watch most likely. Will miss Alexis since she was my favorite. I know I am the minority on this though! Plus watching lets me chuckle along with Tamra’s excellent recaps
Y’all know I feel sorry for the wrongly accused so I will probably end up Stanning for Heather, much to y’alls chagrin. She is smarter and more civilized than Vicki and Tamra. It’s not her fault they are dumb. And have no table manners. I could not abide being forced to eat corn with Vicki. You’ll see why this episode. I really like Vicki and Tamra fine, but they have the maturity of a junior high mean girl. I love when they play and laugh like 12 year olds, but not when they gang up on the target of the season each season.
Shannon is weird as fuck, almost like another Carlton, but they show her with her kids and husband which sort of makes her more tolerable. I think she brings the crazy this season!
On Sun, Apr 13, 2014 at 2:28 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I like Heather. I won’t be watching but will definitely read the recaps. While I have interest in the show, it’s just not enough to get me to actually watch it.
Heather IS smarter and more refined than Tamra and Vicki. And…she’s playing the part that producers have chosen for her. On another note, would SOMEBODY tell Vicki to put on a damn bra!!!!
Well, since I am one of the few that gets a kick out of Carlton, I’ll probably watch just to see what “weird as fuck” Shannon is up to. Thanks again for the info.
I’m with you, TT…I like Vicki & Tamra in small doses but really like Heather. She might smack some ‘tude but she’s got the talent, smarts and the money to back it all up! When they all were in Costa Rica I wanted to stab my ears out when those ditzy blondes started screeching about the monkeys, wildlife, et al…but our girl managed to not scream “Oh for f#cks sake!” like I surely would have and deserves a medal for that alone. Also Brianna & Ryan…I just…{head desk head desk} How about NO! Keep your awesome recaps coming…I judge whether to watch by how much shade you say gets thrown.
I hadn’t planned to watch, but maybe I will based on your summary. However, I can’t stand Heather. Her facting (fake acting) last season was too much. e.g., when she pretended to decide up on top of the hill to sell the house, when she gathered her children to fake tell them that whey were selling and the AWFUL facting of her son “but but we grew up here” @@ I just can’t stand it. And I think Terry is more of a wife than Eddie, but I agree with your assessment re: what Tamra should fear.
I think Tamra and Vicky are the funniest most watchable duo on the show. And I’m amazed, I didn’t think anyone favorited Alexis.
Just some random thoughts: Untill last night I’d forgotten Vicki’s habit of referring to men as boys. Why does she do that? Heather was OK last night except for the meeting with the architect who is designing their house. Why not just let Terry have a larger closet if he wants one? Why are Heather & Tamra so interested in whether Vicki is still dating Brooks? Oh wait, it’s probably because the producers have scripted it that way. I even got back to liking Heather and may not be as happy as I thought I’d be when the others start to gang up on her. I actually enjoyed the majority of the show last night because I’d just written a check to the IRS and didn’t need anymore tension for the day. The show was pretty calm and I really sort of hope we have at least a few more episodes like that, but I doubt it.
I meant funniest duo out of all of the housewives.
Will be watching but liked Gretchen.
I used to like Gretchen until she became friendly with Tamra and became a mean girl. I was hoping she’d still be on this season so she could have a chance to go back to being a nice person. I enjoy Heather as an actress but she is just too full of herself to be likeable. I normally don’t like watching anyone being ganged up on & usually take the side of the underdog but Heather brought this on herself. Maybe I’ll change my mind when I see what happens. Tamra & Vicki annoy me with their childish behavior.
Gretchen just got played. She should had went with her gut that Tamra was using her to get at Alexis. However she was thirsty to be not only Tamra’s friend but also didn’t want Tamra to reveal anymore truths about her. I liked Gretchen fine in S4, until the reunion happened and I ended changing my opinion of her.
INTRO LINES:
Tamra:Im not getting older, I’m getting bolder.
Vicki: I make my own rules, so don’t expect me to follow yours. *WOO HOO*
Shannon: The OC is full of Secrets, but I have nothing to hide…
Or: we’re all a bunch of over the hill bitches trying to remain relevant in our so call celebrity. (yes, I know I’m in the minority here).
Yes il watch. Some habits are hard to break although I wish somebody would accidentally trip over Tamra with a bucket of boiling fat. (Ok so that might be a bit harsh but you know what I mean).
I am going to watch but not excited about it
I think Heather DESERVES to be ganged up on. She, like Yolanda has a stick up her ass and can be very condescending. Cannot stand her.
The new friend of the Housewife brings a lot of drama. We don’t know what for, but she apparently goes after Tamra. Tamra freaked out about her on instagram, twitter, and facebook.
That’s probably why she was just a friend. I must say I really enjoyed the premiere only having four women. I think the show would be so much better and tighter if each franchise had five or less “wives.”
On Sun, Apr 13, 2014 at 4:36 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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If they go after Heather AND Tamra (with a little Vicki thrown in) I will be very entertained & appreciative.
I personally can’t wait to see Shannon. Bravo seems to always find a crazy for these housewives franchises, so it’ll be interesting what Shannon brings. Not to mention Danielle the FOTHs. TT, do you know who friend Danielle will be?
Nope. Sorry. I don’t have very good RHOOC sources and frankly, I don’t do much research on them either. Sorry.
On Mon, Apr 14, 2014 at 12:16 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’d prefer to read about it here…but, dammit, now I gotta see how they eat corn.
I guess she used in vitro if she was questioning the children that came out of her own body. Or did she have a surrogate? That’s all I can think of. And you KNOW I’ll be watching. I envy those of you have been able to beat your hw addictions. I must have a really severe case, because no matter how bad it gets, I can’t walk away. I agree with the commentor above who said that Heather is a lot like Yolanda. Bravo PLEASE do not force me to have Heather’s back this season! *sigh
I think she was worried one was switched a birth. She was told they would want to sleep in the same bed and be very close and they weren’t. lol. She’s a card. You’ll just have to wait and see. There is a lot more I am saving to be a surprise. 🙂
I’m one of those unfortunate junkies that watches anything Housewives. I need therapy no doubt.
The new girl, Shannon, had a DNA test done to prove her twins were hers because they weren’t bonding? Is this really out there, or is it just me? Apparently she was paranoid enough to think the hospital made a mistake (or on purpose) to give her someone else’s twins. Sheesh, I already don’t know about this broad.
I like Vicki in spite of herself. I’m totally in the minority because I don’t hate Brooks. Not a fan of Briana or Ryan, I wish they would just butt out.
I really never forgave Heather for not giving Terry those damn onion rings. She IS anal. I like Terry though, and think he’s a pretty good guy if he can deal with Heather.
Can’t stand Tamra, she is too far gone in the mean department. She makes “hatin’ on” a real pleasure.
Bring it on, Bravo, hit me with your best shot 😉
How did you get to see the first episode already?
I will miss Gretchen. I really liked her!
I will be watching it all season!
I love everything on Bravo!
Because she’s special and gets the first looks. It’s a perk of being an awesome blogger 🙂
I put my media screener in my laptop and turned my eyes in toward the screen.
On Sun, Apr 13, 2014 at 6:37 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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The tone of this show has changed tons since it first started so like someone said above I will only read the recaps here. I also hope Brianna will move her clan to Oklahoma. She is a bitter, bitter pill, one which I refuse to swallow. I can’t remember if she’s the reason I stopped watching but I hate the way she interacts with Vicki and Vicki refuses to put her or her husband in their proper place.
I am replying to my own comment just because I want to say something about NeNe/Nay Nay, lol. I am watching her on WWHL.
I want this lady to go away permanently. She has absolutely no self awareness. How can one have not even a smidgen of self awareness?
I have watched RHOA from the start and she has ALWAYS been an instigator. Yet, she is now complaining about someone else instigating? When she pulled Kim’s wig that day long ago, was she instigating? Is it possible for her to dance off into oblivion in that Froghorn Leghorn costume, the one she wore on DWTS last week? Like Brianna on RHOC, NeNe for me is a bitter, bitter pill.
Been watching this one for a long time so yes I will keep watching! Glad Gretchen is gone. Loved her at first until she became so unbearable. Alexis was sweet. I met her in real life and she was nice. Used to hate Vicki but I have warmed up to her. Heather on the other hand is a snob who thinks she is above everyone. She reminds me of a more educated Nene. She is DELUSIONAL. Maybe I’m just too young to have ever heard of anything on her imdb. Never heard of her before this show but somehow she thinks she is a star. SMH. Face it Heather, if you were above them all you woudn’t be on that show with them. At least Vicki works. It was hilarious when Heather got mad at Lydia putting Lisa Vanderpump on the magazine cover. Earth to Heather: You’re no Lisa! Take a seat.
Love your comments Bella.
Bella you seemed to have summed up Heather beautifully.
I will watch main reason is one of the new girls tells the other ladies at dinner or some gathering in her past life she saved a nation LMAO the look on Heather’ face priceless.
And I’d also like to see heather ganged up for once she sure has alot 2 say bout the other women lets see if she can take it hmmm
I just feel sorry for Heather’s face skin. It looks like it can’t take much more. Terry, botox only relaxes wrinkles not personalities!
I’m laughing, eastjames. I also have to say that if Tamra has any more work done on her face, her eyes will disappear.
Should be interesting.
Not going to watch any more. I will read here, though, since you are taking one for the team!
I will be watching OC. BH wasn’t great and NY has disappointed me most of this season. OC should be a good pick me up until my favorite HW franchise in NJ comes back on.
Sadly, I will be watching. I have watched from the beginning. OC was my gateway drug to the other Housewives franchises.
Tamra has ruined this franchise for me. I don’t find her funny, I find her vulgar. It will be interesting how Heather will handle being the focus of criticism, but not enough to watch. I’ll read the recaps though!
TT: I think the h5O episodes aired already, if I remember. I remember saying “wtf good to see her working cuz she’s not half bad”
Heather is my OC fave she is funny, witty, classy and level headed. I am so sad she is the victim after what my BH fave Lisa went through 🙁
I think Shannon is nuts and can’t wait to see what she brings to the show. I really don’t like the snarkiness (is that a word?) of Tamra and Vicki against Heather but then again we all think things about our friends, they just tell it out loud on a tv show LOL I didn’t think I would like Heather in the beginning but now she’s one of my favorites! Tamara, thanks so much for doing this I absolutely LOVE reading your blog, if I miss a show I come straight here and you are always spot on with what went down!
Wow, Tamra has a face full of filler. It looks stiff and hard. I like Heather. She has had some great one liners in the past. I liked Gretchen and will miss watching her on the show. I don’t like that Tamra had to slam Gretchen. It is a waste of time for the new season. We all know how she felt from last season… no repeat bs… get on with the new stuff.
I am getting bored with the “Is Vicki dating Brooks” story line. Who cares?
Just finished watching. Heather came out looking the best–funny cute and wow on the new house. Vicky was mean as always, but hilarious. Feeling kind of sorry for Tamra, but she was pretty funny too. Shannon was a whining bore. I tried to watch for a few minutes, then had to fast forward her parts. I do wish the show would just be Tamra, Heather, Vicky.
So I finished watching S9’s premiere and one word came to mind – BORING! Tamra wasn’t drinking, that’s disappointing. One can’t go by one episode to determine a whole season, but if this is where the season is likely headed, I don’t know how much I’ll watch personally. The great thing about Gretchen she was someone you loved to hate because she was such a liar and delusional. The new women Lizzie and Shannon better deliver the goods because what I saw last night it was a snoozefest.
Sadly, because most of the viewers, like you, think shows are boring if no one is being publically humiliated to the point of psychological damage, I’m sure it will lose last night’s fun flavor and revert to the usual shit show soon.
On Tue, Apr 15, 2014 at 8:16 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Tamara, would you enjoy the season if there wasn’t any drama like last night? Wouldn’t that be an entirely different show? I mean, you can’t tell me you aren’t looking forward to the Kenya/Porsha fight next week? Lol
I didn’t start watching this to see middle-aged women brawl. I loved last nights episode. There was some snarking but nothing ridiculous.
I’m not looking forward to seeing someone attacked, no. But I understand most of you are.
On Tue, Apr 15, 2014 at 9:52 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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So Agreed. I am so sick of these women deciding who to pick on and then making up the reason to pick on them. Last night’s Hawaii scenes were the best OC I’ve seen.
That’s not true, TT! I like fun with the HWs, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not going to sit here act like HWs is some sophisticated reality tv (or at least those days are long gone). I just wasn’t feeling the episode. That’s all.
TT, I think you make an excellent point about the difference in how the shows started, women being snarky and picking on a weak link among themselves, to trying to always be doing something extravagant and over the top to remain relevant. They lost some of us more ‘normal’ people in their wake.
Love the premiere and so agree that there are hating on Heather. Last season I thought that Brianna was being hard on her mother and too disloyal.
However, I did see Vicki’s love for Briana and Ryan. I don’t get the Brooks thing. So glad Briana will be living far away Oklahoma.
Heather is stuck on herself. The other wives are noticing it.
Fun fun to watch. Thanks for the great recap and I will be watching.
If Brianna & Ryan do make the move to Oklahoma I hope she’s safe. She keeps expressing her concern for Vicki and saying that Brooks might be physically abusing Vicki but her own husband appears to be a hothead. At least in OC she has family nearby in case she needs them. Who will she have to protect her in Oklahoma?
Hmmm, didn’t think of that Terri. Perhaps Briana is hard on her mother, because she could be following a similar pattern with her husband that her mom has. Or she could just be moving and whether Vicki likes it or not she (Vicki) needs her own life.
I wish Vicki could figure out how to live her own life but she doesn’t seem to be able to do that.
“Shannon did not feel her twins were bonding so she had a DNA test done, to prove they were HERS!” WHAT?!?!?! I must tune in just to hear more about that comment!
I know i couldn’t believe what i was hearing how could they not be her twins did she not carry them?
Did she have a surrogate that carried them?
Does she think they were swaped at the hospital, can she not see that they look like her?
The only issue was the girls didn’t want 2 share a room or be around each other end big deal just coz their twins doesn’t mean they have to be joined at the hip just coz their twins they still have individual personalities.
she really didn’t make any sense with that comment IMO she’s a bit of a fruit cake
The only logical reason I could think of was to question whether they were identical twins or fraternal. If they are identical, their DNA would be too. She still was totally boring.