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You are here: Home / RHOBH / Brandi Glanville / I’ve Been Hired To Ghostwrite Brandi Glanville’s Third Book, Tweeting and Parenting!

I’ve Been Hired To Ghostwrite Brandi Glanville’s Third Book, Tweeting and Parenting!

April 4, 2014 by tamaratattles 43 Comments

Brandi At least I'm not doing Chrystal Meth in the Bathroom

Yep! It’s True! I am the Ghostwriter (please don’t tell anyone, no one knows Brandi has a ghost writer) For her next book, Tweeting and Parenting!  Here is my outline so far.

Chapter One: Girl, You’re a Woman Now Keep Your Tampon Private
Chapter Two: Time To Stop Making out With Your Gay Male Friends
Chapter Three: Outing Others For Using a Surrogate is a Bad Idea (My most read post ever)
Chapter Four:  How To Play The Victim Card

Chapter Six: Show You Kids How Friends Should Be Treated
Chapter Seventeen: Never Exploit Your Children Or Make Them Media Opportunities
Chapter Nineteen: Never Publically Argue With Your Child’s Step Mother On Twitter

I’m gonna need some help to get to twenty chapters. Who has some chapter ideas for me?

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Filed Under: Brandi Glanville, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH Tagged With: Brandi Glanville, Ghostwriter, Tweeting and Parenting

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. webcookie29 says

    April 4, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Why black girls can’t swim, and white girls can’t dance?

    Reply
    • janet says

      April 5, 2014 at 11:39 am

      I think this has got to be the best ever topic you had TT and I love them ALL so far. I literally spewed my coffee while laughing and snorting reading this. Thank you.

      Reply
      • RoseCity Girl says

        April 5, 2014 at 6:44 pm

        I agree! Epic!!!

        Reply
  2. tootsie says

    April 4, 2014 at 9:06 pm

    Relationships are like a game of chess and children are to be used as pawns.

    Reply
  3. Mollymom says

    April 4, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    How to cry a lot and NEVER shed a tear.

    Reply
    • RandomBogan says

      April 5, 2014 at 9:54 am

      I second this

      Reply
  4. tootsie says

    April 4, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    How to ensure your child’s first word is f**k

    Reply
  5. tootsie says

    April 4, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    Using twitter to keep divorce drama alive year after year.

    Reply
  6. HannahKingRose says

    April 4, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    How about…Don’t shit where you eat and expect the Queen to forgive you (especially when they edit out your checkmate on national t.v.).

    Reply
  7. victoria says

    April 4, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    How to properly use fillers
    How to drink in moderation
    Basic dinner party etiquette
    Selecting an appropriate therapist

    Reply
  8. Moh says

    April 4, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    Medusa’s kiss: how too many fillers can turn your face to stone.

    Reply
  9. IAmAmySuter says

    April 4, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    No words. I needed this today. Thank u TT. 🙂 Love ya always!

    Reply
  10. BananaBug says

    April 4, 2014 at 11:25 pm

    Is your clock/calendar off? Not April Fool’s Day? Are we in an alternate universe? Is is cocktail time? How would someone with “scruples” even BEGIN?

    Reply
  11. sammiejane says

    April 4, 2014 at 11:53 pm

    “How to explain away STD of the mouth…. food allergies”

    Reply
  12. Alex says

    April 4, 2014 at 11:56 pm

    How to lose your audience without even trying!

    Reply
  13. Kaleesi says

    April 5, 2014 at 12:11 am

    How to win friends and gain influence by draping your drunken sweaty body all over other women’s husbands.

    Reply
  14. CocoTalks says

    April 5, 2014 at 12:35 am

    How to use people and things: Twitter ppl can suck it until you need them to help you on celebrity apprentice

    Reply
  15. stevod says

    April 5, 2014 at 1:04 am

    Haha! I think you’d be a superb ghostwriter for any of the housewives. Also, based on these spectacular suggestions, some of your blog followers would be excellent contributors. After all, it does take a village…

    Reply
  16. eastjames says

    April 5, 2014 at 3:40 am

    Chapter 19: Lay off the Botox
    Chapter 20: What to do about STDs in your throat

    Reply
    • Sarah says

      April 5, 2014 at 7:14 am

      Thanks eastjames, I didn’t even get a chance to swallow my first sip of coffee — now I have to wipe of my monitor, my desk, & the floor.

      Chapter 21: Once a swallower, now a spitter.

      Reply
  17. eastjames says

    April 5, 2014 at 3:50 am

    Chapter 50: How to look like you’re constantly chewing on something even though you’re not.
    Chapter 1247: Making Leeane Rimes look sane

    Reply
  18. sequoi says

    April 5, 2014 at 3:54 am

    How to make friends and influence people would be a good chapter.o

    Reply
  19. eastjames says

    April 5, 2014 at 4:11 am

    Chapter 3000: vodka and laxatives
    Chapter 5,375,001: I think I had sex with a Muppet one time

    Reply
  20. Laura says

    April 5, 2014 at 4:22 am

    I swear, I’m not a kiss up, but I just have to say I love this item! LOLL Fantastic, Tamara, thank you for this.
    Omg Tweeting & Parenting. Perfection.
    I needed a laugh today, big time, so thanks again.
    I’ve enjoyed your blog for quite awhile, and just had to peek out to say thanks.

    Reply
  21. myinfo says

    April 5, 2014 at 9:48 am

    How to break your leg next season and hope Kim and Kyle host Game Night and hide your crutch so people will feel bad for again.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      April 5, 2014 at 11:23 am

      Dammit I Put the wrong title up there. I MEANT Drinking and Parenting. Duh.

      On Sat, Apr 5, 2014 at 9:48 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
  22. Dusty says

    April 5, 2014 at 10:33 am

    Chapter 20: How to spout “F… y..” through filler induced mouth dysmorphia!

    Reply
  23. Quiltmama says

    April 5, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Oh my gosh. TT. It would be way better than what she writes. Tee hee hee

    Reply
  24. tootsie says

    April 5, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    101 ways to alienate your ex husband with drunk dialing.
    How to convince the world you don’t drink while responsible for your children.
    The how to guide for creating twitter wars with your husband’s new wife while under the influence.
    When in doubt while drinking, call an ambulance.

    Reply
    • tootsie says

      April 5, 2014 at 3:17 pm

      Although I could offer suggestions on this topic for days and days, I should probably call it a day here.

      Reply
  25. sandra says

    April 5, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    LOL!!! “When in doubt while drinking, call an ambulance.” I vote for this one….very funny ideas, tootsie. Keep them coming~

    Reply
  26. J.D. (@JaMailMail) says

    April 5, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    Omg TT I hate you. I’m literally crying. LOL LOL LOL LOL I know she makes it easy, but stop dragging poor old victimized Brandi to filth!

    Reply
  27. Mango says

    April 5, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    Bone Setting for the Self-Practitioner, A Primer
    Vodka for Breakfast, 2 Almonds for Lunch
    Come Back Little Chica

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      April 5, 2014 at 6:03 pm

      Wow! Who knew Brandi was such a heavy eater! Yolanda only has half an almond for lunch! 🙂

      On Sat, Apr 5, 2014 at 5:58 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • Mango says

        April 5, 2014 at 6:37 pm

        Ha! And I want you to know I actually click and sit through those damn adverts — gotta show the love 🙂

        Reply
  28. Pam says

    April 6, 2014 at 1:19 am

    How to fake out your bff who is a sober coach when you are a falling down drunk.

    50 places in your home to have a booty call when the kids are home.

    How to always be the victim even when you really are not.

    101 ways to never accept responsibility for anything.

    How to run a con on people who are rich and gullible.

    Reply
  29. Don says

    April 6, 2014 at 2:46 am

    How to play your relationships like a Chess Master.

    Remember Kids, Nothing is EVER your fault.

    How to take down the Queen B Grandmaster style.

    How to Win Friends & Lose Them Quickly

    Reply
  30. Valerie says

    April 6, 2014 at 3:38 am

    Chapter 69: (that’s all I’ve got is the chapter #. I’m immature like that.)

    Reply
  31. vonnie0511 says

    April 6, 2014 at 10:14 am

    This post is hysterical. Don’t you love that your posters are as wicked as you. When you call for us…we come

    Reply
    • vonnie0511 says

      April 6, 2014 at 10:18 am

      BTW “wicked” as in diabolical creative genius

      Reply
  32. chriscleo says

    April 6, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    Menopause: No More Tampon Strings

    Reply
  33. Daphne says

    April 7, 2014 at 12:05 am

    How to make excuses and be responsible for nothing
    How to be jealous of your husband’s jump-offs
    How a Food Allergy Helped me win Celebrity Apprentice
    The Real Reason Chica Ran away from Home
    Maleficent Has Nothing on Me
    My Interview with Sir Nose: Proof that Black People can’t Swim
    The Cocktail Handbook by Glandi Villebrand
    Why F** U is a Term of Endearment
    It was Not a Tampon String, It was a Leash and I can’t find my owner

    Reply
  34. O.O says

    April 7, 2014 at 3:36 am

    1- A 5 step guide on How to convince people that you’ve caved under peer pressure even though you’re over 40.
    2-How to keep a job despite being insane.

    Reply

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