Yep! It’s True! I am the Ghostwriter (please don’t tell anyone, no one knows Brandi has a ghost writer) For her next book, Tweeting and Parenting! Here is my outline so far.
Chapter One: Girl, You’re a Woman Now Keep Your Tampon Private
Chapter Two: Time To Stop Making out With Your Gay Male Friends
Chapter Three: Outing Others For Using a Surrogate is a Bad Idea (My most read post ever)
Chapter Four: How To Play The Victim Card
Chapter Six: Show You Kids How Friends Should Be Treated
Chapter Seventeen: Never Exploit Your Children Or Make Them Media Opportunities
Chapter Nineteen: Never Publically Argue With Your Child’s Step Mother On Twitter
I’m gonna need some help to get to twenty chapters. Who has some chapter ideas for me?
Why black girls can’t swim, and white girls can’t dance?
I think this has got to be the best ever topic you had TT and I love them ALL so far. I literally spewed my coffee while laughing and snorting reading this. Thank you.
I agree! Epic!!!
Relationships are like a game of chess and children are to be used as pawns.
How to cry a lot and NEVER shed a tear.
I second this
How to ensure your child’s first word is f**k
Using twitter to keep divorce drama alive year after year.
How about…Don’t shit where you eat and expect the Queen to forgive you (especially when they edit out your checkmate on national t.v.).
How to properly use fillers
How to drink in moderation
Basic dinner party etiquette
Selecting an appropriate therapist
Medusa’s kiss: how too many fillers can turn your face to stone.
No words. I needed this today. Thank u TT. 🙂 Love ya always!
Is your clock/calendar off? Not April Fool’s Day? Are we in an alternate universe? Is is cocktail time? How would someone with “scruples” even BEGIN?
“How to explain away STD of the mouth…. food allergies”
How to lose your audience without even trying!
How to win friends and gain influence by draping your drunken sweaty body all over other women’s husbands.
How to use people and things: Twitter ppl can suck it until you need them to help you on celebrity apprentice
Haha! I think you’d be a superb ghostwriter for any of the housewives. Also, based on these spectacular suggestions, some of your blog followers would be excellent contributors. After all, it does take a village…
Chapter 19: Lay off the Botox
Chapter 20: What to do about STDs in your throat
Thanks eastjames, I didn’t even get a chance to swallow my first sip of coffee — now I have to wipe of my monitor, my desk, & the floor.
Chapter 21: Once a swallower, now a spitter.
Chapter 50: How to look like you’re constantly chewing on something even though you’re not.
Chapter 1247: Making Leeane Rimes look sane
How to make friends and influence people would be a good chapter.o
Chapter 3000: vodka and laxatives
Chapter 5,375,001: I think I had sex with a Muppet one time
I swear, I’m not a kiss up, but I just have to say I love this item! LOLL Fantastic, Tamara, thank you for this.
Omg Tweeting & Parenting. Perfection.
I needed a laugh today, big time, so thanks again.
I’ve enjoyed your blog for quite awhile, and just had to peek out to say thanks.
How to break your leg next season and hope Kim and Kyle host Game Night and hide your crutch so people will feel bad for again.
Dammit I Put the wrong title up there. I MEANT Drinking and Parenting. Duh.
On Sat, Apr 5, 2014 at 9:48 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Chapter 20: How to spout “F… y..” through filler induced mouth dysmorphia!
Oh my gosh. TT. It would be way better than what she writes. Tee hee hee
101 ways to alienate your ex husband with drunk dialing.
How to convince the world you don’t drink while responsible for your children.
The how to guide for creating twitter wars with your husband’s new wife while under the influence.
When in doubt while drinking, call an ambulance.
Although I could offer suggestions on this topic for days and days, I should probably call it a day here.
LOL!!! “When in doubt while drinking, call an ambulance.” I vote for this one….very funny ideas, tootsie. Keep them coming~
Omg TT I hate you. I’m literally crying. LOL LOL LOL LOL I know she makes it easy, but stop dragging poor old victimized Brandi to filth!
Bone Setting for the Self-Practitioner, A Primer
Vodka for Breakfast, 2 Almonds for Lunch
Come Back Little Chica
Wow! Who knew Brandi was such a heavy eater! Yolanda only has half an almond for lunch! 🙂
On Sat, Apr 5, 2014 at 5:58 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Ha! And I want you to know I actually click and sit through those damn adverts — gotta show the love 🙂
How to fake out your bff who is a sober coach when you are a falling down drunk.
50 places in your home to have a booty call when the kids are home.
How to always be the victim even when you really are not.
101 ways to never accept responsibility for anything.
How to run a con on people who are rich and gullible.
How to play your relationships like a Chess Master.
Remember Kids, Nothing is EVER your fault.
How to take down the Queen B Grandmaster style.
How to Win Friends & Lose Them Quickly
Chapter 69: (that’s all I’ve got is the chapter #. I’m immature like that.)
This post is hysterical. Don’t you love that your posters are as wicked as you. When you call for us…we come
BTW “wicked” as in diabolical creative genius
Menopause: No More Tampon Strings
How to make excuses and be responsible for nothing
How to be jealous of your husband’s jump-offs
How a Food Allergy Helped me win Celebrity Apprentice
The Real Reason Chica Ran away from Home
Maleficent Has Nothing on Me
My Interview with Sir Nose: Proof that Black People can’t Swim
The Cocktail Handbook by Glandi Villebrand
Why F** U is a Term of Endearment
It was Not a Tampon String, It was a Leash and I can’t find my owner
1- A 5 step guide on How to convince people that you’ve caved under peer pressure even though you’re over 40.
2-How to keep a job despite being insane.