Farrah Abraham “Wrote” An Erotic Triology About Her Porno

Look, I’ve been ignoring the insanity that I just typed in the title for quite some time. I felt bad for Farrah on Couples Therapy. Especially since she did not actually receive any therapy. Farrah is broken and we should treat her like I treated Amanda Bynes and just not throw a spotlight on her issues.

But Goddamnit, Farrah. You really need to go somewhere and sit down and get yourself together. You need real therapy, from a therapist who has never practiced on a TV show. You need to just stop.  But you won’t. You were adamant that you didn’t do a porno. But you did. And now you are writing a trilogy of books about doing a porno. You know who would probably understand you? Apollo Nida. It’s really a pity he is going to prison because I think he might be your perfect match.

So gentle readers, I am compelled to share with you a tiny excerpt from an interview she did with Celeb Buzz. If you can stand to read it all just click the link. Personally, I feel what I am about to share is more than sufficient.  I don’t even care that Farrah wants Jessica Alba to play her in a movie based on a book about a porno. You know what gets my goat? That people who have no grasp of the English language are New York Times best-selling “authors”. I think ghost writing should be illegal.

Celeb Buzz: How about sexual research?

Farrah: The only research I really do… if we’re talking about research on the computer, I’m like ‘am I using the right sexual word?’ So people don’t get confused. I mean, there’s equally — among my friends and people I’ve run into and me — I think we’ve had enough sexual experiences for a lifetime so we’re sharing some of them.

Translation: Research? I just wrote a book. Why would there be research? I did looks up some words.

Celeb Buzz: How did you come up with ‘Fallon Opal’ as your protagonist’s name?

Farrah: The names just came to my mind and I was pretty much set on all the names in the book already and ran it by my friends and the publisher really just let me go with what I knew and felt was right. So for me to have feedback from my friends and they said ‘we really like those names and they’re interesting,’ I kept them as they were.

There‘s not really one person who’s based off of anyone. I just wanted the characters to be compelling and those people can relate to. And I think everything from talking about past romances to current romances to future sexual experiences that Fallon Opal talks about is relatable to anyone and everyone.

And I think we only added the ‘Celebrity Sex Tape’ aspect because personally in my life things got blown so much out of proportion and it became popular and I became famous and those type of things, so I wanted to incorporate that so others could live vicariously through Fallon and… I don’t know… be very compelled because she’s so much like everyone else.

Translation: I used the name Fallon because it has the same number of letters as Farrah. Fallon is me, and I am perfectly normal just like everyone else.

P.S. In other horrifying news Taylor and John are getting married this weekend. I guess the divorce finally came through.