Brandi Glanville was on Hello Ross the other night and it didn’t really occur to me to watch it. However, this morning I noticed it re-airing on E! So I am going to attempt to recap it while still half asleep. Let’s see if I missed anything interesting.
Is this a nightly or a weekly show? Ross’s voice takes some getting used to, but his show is kind of good actually.
I love that he is as hyped up for Scandal as I am. I may slap up a post later today just to get us back in the Scandal frame of mind.
My first impression of Brandi is that she is dressed in an outfit she could wear to work at insurance company and then stop by the school to attend a PTA meeting. Not that there is anything wrong with that. It’s nice to see her in an outfit where we don’t have to worry about learning exactly where she is in her lady cycle. It’s just unexpected. Ross immediately breaks out the wine which she immediately accepts.
Ross starts with, “Is your ex husband suing you for ….what is it?” Brandi says “Money.” (which was actually funny) and Ross continues his question with “…child support?” Ross tries to give the back story which is essentially that Brandi was a run of the mill blonde bimbo in LA who managed to marry a big TV star (Brandi makes a stank face at the big TV star part)… I should point out that Brandi is intoxicated and talking in her little drunk girl voice, in case that was not already a given. Ross is still trying to get his question out, and eventually goes with, “Every time I see him on twitter he is on a beach in Hawaii with Leann Rimes, does he need your money?”
Brandi says, “No! They vacation constantly! I don’t know!” in an octave best heard by canines.
Ross points out that Eddie is denying it. Brandi says, ” No, he is saying that he is not coming after me for child support but he wants me to pay him back alimony. But it’s actually combined child support and alimony. ”
Ross asks, “So are you guys going to work it out?” Brandi says their lawyers are. Ross says, “What about Leann Rimes, how’s that?” His delivery of that question was just adorable.
Brandi says, “You know what? I don’t — It’s just Eddie and I now. I don’t even. She’s fine. I don’t even have any interactions with her. I see her, I say hi.” Sidenote: Last I checked (which was not today so you never know) Tweehab seems to have really worked for Leann. All she tweets lately are horoscopes and vacation pictures. Ross asks, “before this all happened did you ever own a Leann Rimes CD?” She says, “No, I’m like a gangsta rap girl.”
Ross asks what is going on with Brandi and Lisa Vanderpump? Brandi dramatically grabs her wine glass. Brandi says, ” I love her. I can’t not love “Pumpy”– I call her “Pumpy. I’m hurt by some of the things she did. I felt like I was an employee at SUR and I’m not.” (insert derisive chuckle here). You can see “Pumpy’s” thoughts here.
Ross asks, ” Well then, why is there so much drama around you? Because there is and you are the common denominator. Let’s do the math. Are you fucking nuts? ” Brandi says yes, she is but without a trace of sincerity.
Ross asks about all the ladies from RHOBH being asked to be in a Lady Gaga video except for her. Brandi says, “I have enough feuds going on right now! Do you really think I need a feud with Gaga?” Brandi is working hard not to piss off Gaga. Ross asks if her feelings were hurt that she was not asked. Brandi said, “That is not what I said, I said I love Gaga.” She was clearly pissed/hurt not to be asked. Ross presses the issue and Brandi is not going to go there. She is already hated by all the Vanderpump Stans. She doesn’t need eleventy billion little monsters hate tweeting her as well.
Ross moves on to her book. He asks her about the rules for booty calls that she mentions in the book. He says he has never had a booty call. Without missing a beat Brandi says, “You’re gay. Your life is a booty call.” Half the audience laughs and the other half let’s out a “whhhhhoooooa”. Ross says, “That is so not true!” Brandi continues her mad dash right into the fire with, “Everything you do, you do with your booty.” Ross covers his face and says, “That is——-WHAT?” Ross says, “Your logic is so…..Boinnnng?” (insert frantic hand gestures here) Brandi says, “Welcome to me.”
Ross tries to return to the topic. Apparently, in Brandi’s New York Times best-selling book (way to cheapen the brand you bunch of fucktards! Did you put her book on your shelf next to Fabellini Foods to Make in Federal Prison?) her readers are desperate for tips on whoring. Apparently, Brandi got her tips Pretty Woman, an informative documentary on prostitution starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. Brandi says there is no mouth to mouth kissing during a booty call but there are other things that you can do with your mouth. (Sidenote: Some of those things can cause swelling of the tongue and throat.) Ross points out, “That’s for a hooker! That’s for a HOOKER!” Brandi replies what do you think a booty call is? You are just there to get off! That’s it!” Ross points out again that he is not a big old whorey booty calling kind of guy.
Audience question (AKA questions Ross wants to appear to kind to ask but is dying to know), “Now that your kids are growing up, do you feel you have to act a certain way? or hold back on certain things that you do? Clearly the implied question is, “Do you think you might not want to getting falling down drunk all the time and flash your lady bits to the paparazzi because you are embarrassing the holy shit out of your kids who have to go to school and defend your behavior?”
Brandi’s answer is, “Have you seen the blogs?” Um yeah, I’ve written and seen them which is why everyone is telling you that we really don’t want to be more informed about the surface of your cervix than your actual GYN. How is that in any way addressing the question? Then she gives her pat answer her kids are well-rounded and completely unaffected by their bizarre “parenting.”
Ross asks about the reunion show. Brandi says it was like couch torture. We were crying and laughing and Joyce was ice skating… (clearly a jab at her reunion dress. Brandi never misses an opportunity to mock Joyce and make herself look insanely jealous.) it was crazy. Brandi goes on to say that the worst thing about the reunion was “Joyce’s frickin’ outfit. She had on like an ice skating dress, and I was like, bitch, Sochi’s callin..” Ross asks Brandi if she “brought it” at the reunion. Brandi says, “You know I did.”
Reunion Reminder: Brandi went home crying for her mother and Joyce was all smiles and playing with Giggy. If you missed the RHOBH Reunion Fight Card go check it out now!
LMFAO!! Did Ross actually say “Are you fucking nuts?”, or is that poetic license on your part? I’m not complaining, it’s just that I might watch the show myself if he really did say that.
Did Banjo look up when Brandi said “No! They vacation constantly! I don’t know!” 🙂
Yes he said it. it was bleeped but he said it. His show was overall quite enjoyable.
On Sat, Feb 22, 2014 at 2:23 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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youre a brandi hater and this is totally one sided. never getting on this site again
lol. I have this list of rules of posting, I have run by a few people and some surprising folks seem to think they are offensive. I think I shall post them tonight.
Booj-bye LOL!
I’ve actually watched quite a few of Brandi’s recent interviews on her book tour (don’t ask me why — I just can’t seem to help myself…) and I had been thinking she was doing pretty well. She seemed to be keeping herself in check (with the exception of a few “Jacqueline” comments). Then boom… here she comes. She just can’t maintain for too long. Although I suppose we all had to know if was coming….
*it — darn autocorrect 🙂
Never heard of this show.
Will tune in .
I never heard of it either! It’s on right now on E! I have no idea it’s regular schedule, but it’s on again tonight 7:30 and 10:30 pm, then Sunday 7 & 10 am and 9 pm (PST) & they’re all the Brandi episode. Its hard not to miss it – I’m waiting for Brandi to come on.
Thanks for the info JoJo. I like Ross. I didn’t know he had his own show. Used to watch him whenever he was on Chelsea Handler but I don’t stay up that late anymore! I’ll try and catch it tomorrow!
If you liked Ross before, I think you’ll really like his show. He’s so freakin’ girly funny, it’s adorable. Even when he swears & they bleep it out, seems like he’s saying tea and roses honey!!!
Those times are #westcoast PST – so I have no clue how that translates in the jungle 🙂
Ross’ Matthew’s partner, Salvadore, is also one of Brandi’s currently stylist. He appeared in the RHOBH episode where Brandi was getting photographed for her book cover. So I suspect that Brandi and Ross are friends off camera too.
I recorded it. Watched it the next morning. I was one of those who just gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought her life on RH & in the press was somewhat calculated in order to stay on RH. Yet as I watched this show I finally believe that the woman is a train wreck. Obviously, either she needs a lot of mental health help, moral counseling or a whole lotta help of some kind. To think her behavior doesn’t have an impact on her children’s lives is crazy. A friend of mine thought the department of children services might investigate her. Not sure about that – but it’s plain to see that the woman is in very bad shape.
I really liked the show & always liked Ross when he shows up places as entertainment reporter. And 1/2 hour is just right.
SCANDAL or SPRINGER: hilarious.
I thought Brandi did alright. She obviously can’t control those smirks, but for her, she did well not blurting a bunch of controversial crap then backtrack trying to correct herself, making the controversy worse. That’s usually her MO.
Re the question regarding if she has to try to be different because of her kids, I thought the answer was almost the best she could say, actually. She admitted their lives weren’t normal since 50% they’re on a tour bus with bonus mom and 50% with her being followed by paparazzi, but they’re healthy and well-rounded in spite of that.
I can’t imagine how else she should answer that question. “I only see my poor kids 4 days a week, I’m hysterical crying when they leave and they are traumatized by my life on camera and off, and all the pictures in magazines that show me drunk, and they’re bullied at school. The rest of the time, they’re living a charmed, rich life on vacation with their dad and the woman he cheated on me with who he ended up marrying. They are her bonus kids now.” Nah, saying the kids are ok was probably best.
The proper response was, “I’ve learned so much watching my embarrassing drunken life play out on national TV and in the tabloids. I regret putting my sons through that and I am going to try to keep my tampon strings, vagina, and drunk ass in general out of the public eye for their sake. I’ve also started a therapy fund for them.”
But it you think denying there is a problem is the answer….oh well.
On Sat, Feb 22, 2014 at 4:07 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yep – your suggested response is why I said “almost” the best thing she could say. After all it was only about a 5 min. appearance and she definitely didn’t have time to get a REAL good answer out there. I’ve noticed her answer is one of the rare pat answers she has about the kids.
Beside that, don’t you think she did a little better at the rest instead of stream-of-consciousness blathering? I mean comparing her to her usual self, not normal, well-spoken TV personalities 🙂
But her kids aren’t on a tour bus 50% of the time, are they? And with a 50/50 custodial split aren’t they with Brandi one week and with Eddie the next?
tootsie, that was her characterization – she actually said I think “half the time they’re on a tour bus with LeAnn and the other half with me being followed by paps” – she didn’t even mention Eddie in that.
I have no clue of the custody arrangement.
Must you cloud everything up with actual facts? 🙂
On Sat, Feb 22, 2014 at 4:41 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yeah, Ross was renewed for his second season, Friday nights at 10:00 out here.
He is plain spoken so he is fun to watch.
Poor Brandi, I’ve always wanted her to get her sh*t together and use the advantage she is given through RHOBH. Have never been a fan but wanted her to stop the fueding and build her own life. Sad!
Brandi knows how the play the game, and it’s working out well for her.
Brandi doesn’t make all these stupid remarks by mistake. She knows she has to be controversial to stay relevant. If she isn’t controversial, what else does she have to offer.
Agreed. It’s all calculated to get her where she wants to be.
UM DON”T AGREE WITH MY KNUCKLEHEAD! He’s my favorite knucklehead for a reason! Brandi has nary an ounce of sense and has no idea how the game is played.
On Sat, Feb 22, 2014 at 7:44 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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You are not stupid, and I don’t even recall you being drunk online… so how it is possible that you think Brandi is calculated? She’s not. She’s just a fuck up imploding.
On Sat, Feb 22, 2014 at 7:39 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Hmmm. I really don’t want to disagree with you Ms. TT, but I find it hard to believe that her most recent “oh poor me, Eddie is trying to get my hard earned money” at the exact time her book comes out isn’t calculated. Maybe she didn’t come up with the plan, but someone did. Or maybe I’ve had too many adult beverages. 🙂
Sigh. Whatever. I am drinking in Ecuador with Anthony Bourdain at the moment. I am hardly responsible for my opinions at this point. HOWEVER, it is true you should probably not disagree with me. I shall blame the knucklehead, as usual.
I’ve loved Ross since he first started on The Tonight Show, but until now, I hadn’t watched his show. I have to say, that your recap was so much better than the actual show. I swear you need to start writing books Tamara. You have such a way with your descriptions and details, and you always make me lol. In this episode, I loved Ross’s response about having a booty call, something like “when I show up, basically I’m moving in”.
Thanks Lori. I thought that was a “lesbian moment” when Ross said that. It reminded me of my parting words to a chick I may or may not have made out with over Xmas break….”The Uhaul will arrive on Tuesday!”
Life Lesson From Tamara: Drinking Moonshine with a cute lesbian chick leads to nothing but trouble.
On Sat, Feb 22, 2014 at 7:54 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Dear Ms. TT: I am sorry for the temporary insanity that led me to disagree with you on your blog. Please accept my apology, and please, whatever you do, don’t cut me off. I am addicted. PS – I love Anthony Bourdain. Does that help? 🙂
Dear Tootsie,
Are you really professing your undying love for the one man I should be with on the planet in your apology? #banned
On Sat, Feb 22, 2014 at 8:21 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Oh no, must have been a typo. I meant to type Antonio Bandaras.
xoxo
I just laid down the rules here and claiming Anthony Bourdain should PROBABLY have been mentioned you little minx you! grrrrr
On Sat, Feb 22, 2014 at 9:41 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’m going to have to agree with the Brandi is imploding and someone else is pulling the PR strings mentioned above. In one breath she’s glossing over the impact her public actions have on her beloved boys and in the next she’s basically saying that it’s okay for a man to view her as a hooker as long as she doesn’t kiss on the lips and she gets to get her rocks off. Sad.
Her casual ignorance is becoming less and less charming.