It’s time for Couples Therapy again. It seems the weeks just fly by these days! I am ready to see what Kelsey and Latrice decide to do about Ghost. I hope they both toss him to the curb. Usually, in these situations, both are hoping the other will walk away. Don’t ask me how I know this.
Yes Kelsey, he has shown you who he really is! Kelsey bolts from therapy and Dr. Jenn goes after her. I was praying for someone with some sense to go in to comfort her, but sadly for Kelsey, Taylor goes to her instead. Dr. Jenn gives her stupid “crumbs of love” analogy again because that was so helpful the first time.
Kelsey wants to apologize to Latrice for interfering in her relationship even though she did not know Ghost was a slime bucket with a girlfriend. Latrice says she doesn’t know if she can trust Ghost. Really? What more do you need to know he is a lying sack of shit? Latrice goes back to the hotel. Kelsey says she is done with Ghost. But is she? Kelsey says she is not going to wait for him to choose. She is not going to share a bed with him tonight.
Taylor says the person she feels the most for and has the most concern for is Kelsey. Mostly because the TV cameras follow the drama, and she is all about the cameras.
Dr. Jenn finally takes Farrah out of the Couples Therapy and gives her another activity while the actual couples at couples therapy take compatibility quizzes. Dr. Jen thinks this will be a fun activity to break up the negativity in the house. Because she is just about as clueless as they come. Or else she is just playing along with the script. Either way, this is going to blow up.
Someone is helping Ghost read and comprehend the questions. No shade. Just an interesting observation. Meanwhile Farrah’s activity is to set up an online dating profile. Then Jenn is going to send her on a date and watch how she acts around me. This actually sounds like something that would be interesting to watch. No, really.
The next day in group, the couples get their results. They start with Taylor and John. The first category they discuss for this couple is Dependency. Not surprisingly Taylor had a much higher level of dependency than John. But John also has a high degree of dependency in a relationship. This made Taylor smile. Taylor says “So we can be co-dependant!” and Dr. Jenn says, “Not on my watch!” The tests determine that over all they are compatible and likely to for a successful relationship! I agree. These two nut cases are perfect for each other and will be the poster child for co-dependent behaviors.
Next up is Ghost and Kelsey. In the category of Interests they are very compatible as they are both/singer songwriters. With regard to Intent they both want different things out of a relationship. They are NOT compatible. Duh, it doesn’t take a Cosmo quiz to figure that out.
With regard to Farrah, in the category of Intent she listed financial gain getting married as her intention. The counselor told her not to lead with that information or she might scare someone off. Farrah discounts everything the counselor suggested in her talking head and says her eye is on the prize. Typical Farrah. Later Farrah explains that no one on the dating site wants to be on TV so she is having trouble finding a date. I’m sure that’s the reason. Young people today hate attention and being on TV shows.
Sada and Whitney both scored low in the area of Self Control. That could be an issue. But they are compatible.
Here is where some shit is about to go down. Jon and Liz. Jon is so sure that they are compatible but he is the only one in the room who thinks so. Interests They are both divorced with kids, but while they have that in common, overall those things make them less likely to have a successful relationship. In other works they both have shitty track records. In the category of Family Orientation they both scored low. This means that they are not that into the whole family thing as much as most people. WOW. They feel constrained by family life and wish the could cut loose once in a while. Liz in her profanity-laced talking head says that are both super duper into their family crap! Habits Well the both smoke and drink. So um, they have that in common. The Cosmo quiz told them what anyone with eyes can see, they are NOT compatible. They are both angry and in denial. The both think it is a setup and it’s a TV show and they are doing it for ratings. Jon wants to call his manager and leave.
Dr. Jenn is outraged that anyone would question her or the realness of the show. BWHAHAHAH. Seriously? There is a whole lot of scripting going on this season. But pretending Liz and Jon are incompatible is not one of them. Dr. Jenn says we did a fun compatible quiz! John says it’s a setup. Once Dr. Jenn denies and fakery on her part, Jon apologizes like the submissive man he is.
Latrice and Ghost meet with Dr. Jenn. Latrice wants to say some things to Ghost. Dr. Jenn gives Ghost one last chance to plead his case. He apologizes for bringing her out and he did it so he could get a clear understanding. He says he loves her. She says that she loves him too, but what he did was kinda disrespectful and she kinda wants him to just get his stuff and move on.
Ghost responds with she smells good, that is the smell of all smells, I’m hurt too. Really? God men are idiots. Latrice is holding strong. Kinda. Ghost is begging. And then he says he loves sex. And he loves women. Because he is clueless. I honestly think that Ghost has a very low IQ. No shade. Just and observation.
Taylor suddenly decides that the person she feels the most for and has the most concern for is John. Mostly because the TV cameras follow the drama, and she is all about the cameras.
Whitney tries to talk to Jon. Taylor tells Jon she doesn’t like the way Liz treats them. Sada joins in. John joins in. Everyone agrees Jon is a pussy and Liz is a domineering bitch. Jon runs to tell Liz like a good little submissive and they both go back outside where Liz is about to confront them. Taylor tells Liz that John needs her to love him. Everyone pretty much repeated what they already said. Liz is pissed off.
Next week: The Jon and Liz drama continues to take center stage. Dr. Jenn tells Jon she doesn’t think Liz cares if she hurts him, or about his feelings, of which is has many. Farrah’s Mom arrives for a counseling session with Dr. Jenn and Farrah. They argue about who is the actual abuser person in their relationship. Sada and Whitney continue to have communication problems, which Dr. Jenn could have given them specific tools to use to work on that issue if she was interested in being therapeutic to their relationship.
Yes Farrah. The reason that you can’t find a date online is because the guys are afraid of the t.v. cameras. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that your life is a total clusterf*ck and that you are a compulsive liar. You couldn’t pay a guy to play your boyfriend for Couples Therapy who would follow through with it. The prize you are keeping your eyes on should be intensive, real therapy to help you with all of your problems and not even consider marriage for a long, long time.
And why does the guy have to be on TV anyway?? I wondered if in her stupid mind she was looking for a guy who could head on over to Couples Therapy right away… “Hi, here is my NEW boyfriend, and we need therapy. His name is Mike. I mean Steve! Sean? Well, anyway, we’re gonna get married. No! Not NOW. That would be dumb. Maybe next week. Hey, Brian? Where are you going?? GOD, people are so disrespectful.”
On her last season of Teen Mom she had a boyfriend who she was pressuring to buy an engagement ring after 30 days. 30 DAYS. And that’s the same guy they’re bringing to the show later on. I can’t wait to see her and her mother talk. Both of them are horrible.
LOL…the name game!
“Fuck them, if they don’t wanna be on TV, they ain’t gonna be with me” – Farrah. Famous last words, we know where you want to be – at all costs.
Kelsey stay strong girl, playa a cheetah.
Jon should dump the foul-mouthed dominatrix, but then again, they may just deserve one another.
I absolutely love these people in Couples Therapy, they allow me to be at the top of the food chain by just breathing.
What combined dumb ass mess they are including Dr. Jen.
So, Farrah still there why?
Latrice speaks with little to no conviction; she said the right thing (I want you to leave) but I’m not convinced she will stick to it. I hope she, and Kelsey, dump him.
As for Ghost – would someone PLEASE pull up his pants ???
Both Latrice and Kelsey are so intelligent and put-together. Ghost not only can’t pull up his pants, he can’t speak, reason, or read, and wears that STUPID hat all the time that makes him look like one of the Seven Dwarves — Skanky or Nasty, the Eighth Dwarf.
I really hope she changes her number and puts real bridges between herself and Ghostface Killah. I’ve got a feeling that he could sweet talk her back into a dysfunctional situation.
I would like to believe that Kelsey is really “done” but I think she could also be easily swayed.
I see Latrice HOOD and Kelsey as intelligent and beautiful young women, unfortunately their low self esteem makes them tolerate an overweight, immature, inarticulate, dishonest, disloyal, mildly successful twat.
He has humiliated both of them on TV. Even though they can both see exactly who and what he is, I predict that, in a year’s time, one or both of them will still be in a ‘relationship’ with Ghostface Killah. This is so sad.
Did anyone else do a spit-take when Taylor said she “never lies”?
I believe, I spit up!
Methinks, Taylor has been lapping up the Vino in copiuos amounts, as well..
Yes! I did. Wasn’t she also slurring her words?
Outstanding recap!.
Jon is a bloody imbecile. Liz, is it? She is a emasculating, dimwit of a pub drunk. Actually, I believe ” they belong together”
Because no one else would want either one of them.( Tara, praying; ” Jesus Mary & Joseph, please don’t allow them to reproduce!”.
Taylor and John, also belong ” together”. Now, John take Taylor back to Colorado, light a bit of the herb and stay there.
Ghost Face or ” Arse While”, is a misogynistic malignant maggot of a bloke and should be punished. I hope he is reincarnated as a husband to one of the Kardashian women.
Kelsey, should be singing ” I will survive” focus on whatever it is that she does for a living and stay away from club crawlers or secure a role on ” Love & Hip Hop”.
The Girls are compatible! Oh, thank the deities for this divine knowledge! Now, they can find another reality show to fight on.
I was wondering, is it just me or do you find it rather comical when the other Couple Therapy Members, solicit their unwanted advice on other members? Oh, that’s right! It is a- hem, ” Legitimate Group Therapy”..
In my humble opinion, I’d consider taking financial advice from Joe Guidice before I would take Relationship advice from, Taylor Armstrong & those lovely Ladies from the, “Real L World”.
(To be clear, I am being sarcastic and a smartarse.)
Farrah can not secure a date or attention on-line.
Bollocks!
Doctor Jenn connected her to the wrong on-line dating site!
I am quite certain that Farrah might of been able to find a bloke on another site. Something more Farrah specific. Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
I have to be a feckin bridesmaid in a candle lit, midnight Wedding. The Dress? Not awfulky meringue-ish..
In truth, it is an atrociously ugly pink designer frock.
Something, Snooki or JWow, might wear
Envious? Oh, course not!
Enjoy your lovely date nights with heart shaped confection boxes, bouquets of pink or red blooms and image poor little Tara engulfed in a hideous gown with a groomsman who resembles a young Bill Gates ( w/o the brains or bank)
with an acne problem..
~sigh~
FYI,
The website is obviously fictious.
* Arse Wipe, not Arse While..
Sorry for the typos!
Jon Gosselin is now filing for full custody if his kids, again. He said since Kate put his daughters on a morning show he no longer trusts her parenting. Jon also said he doesn’t see his oldest often. He was asked about Liz and couples therapy. He said he and Liz were good and plan to combine all the children, hers and his.
I can’t see Liz a mother of 10, what a mess.
Jon really does need therapy. Real therapy, not Dr. Jenn. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I just think it would help him.
On Sat, Feb 15, 2014 at 3:18 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
M’Grandee Lady, T!!
You are absolutely spot on, as usual!
Seems as if he has managed to find a less articulate, just as controlling shrew than the former Mrs. Gossling.
Apparently, he has serious issues..
If, I have yet to mention this before, I sincerely apologize. You are a brilliant writer and your blog is not only a lovely read but it is the most informative, cohesive and witty blog I have ever read.
I hope you Author a book or two or a few hundred!
Your Irish Friend,
Tara
Thanks Tara! Sucking up gets you EVERYWHERE!
On Sat, Feb 15, 2014 at 12:48 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
The focus this episode was Ghost, Kelsey, Jon & Liz + 20, and of course Farrah.
I forgot to mention how funny the blog twice-stated “Taylor says the person she feels the most for and has the most concern for is Kelsey [Jon]. Mostly because the TV cameras follow the drama, and she is all about the cameras.” I except we’ll hear that from her about the others before season ends.
Taylor was absolutely blotto when she was telling Jon how she cringes when Liz calls him pussy. I’ve got the feeling Taylor was blotto the whole time she was there when not in sessions.
I’ve even forgot why Taylor says she and her new love need couples therapy at all, except for another stab at TV 😉
JoJo, I think Taylor’s in CP supposedly because of her PTSD. She says that if John raises his voice basically it brings back memories of the domestic abuse she suffered. I have a hard time buying that with John. He doesn’t seem to have much emotion at all. He in my opinion is following ‘The Women’s Rules’ #10-13 quite well. Rule #10 the female has the right to be angry and upset at any time (Taylor and the pea green towels). Rule #11 the male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset (John at first looks slightly confused). Rule #12 the female must not let the male know if she wants him to be angry or upset (Taylor was ranting, raving and demanding to speak with Dr. Jen all by herself). Finally Rule#13 the male is expected to read minds at all times (at which point he joined in to back Taylor up with her rant and was willing to do whatever she wanted up to and including taking her home to her lattes, non pea green towels and her own personal thermostat). So unless he is completely different at home, likes to hide behind things and grab her, screams at her or maybe the dog or even a football game, I don’t see enough emotion in him to illicit that kind of response from her. I do think Taylor would benefit from legit therapy even if for PTSD, but it could have be handled at her hometown instead. This was just for camera time and maybe a little time away from the snow which is all she has to tweet about lately.
Hannah: LOL, I forgot about that reason. And I don’t know those rules, but damn if they don’t make sense. John does seem like he is a person who rarely varies between 10 or 15 mph!!!
Hey girl! I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now, but this is my first comment. Just wanted to say your posts are always spot on & I’m happy to have found you!
PS – HAHAHA about Taylor.
Thanks, Kat. Sorry this took so long to moderate. I had some sort of psychotic break in the Whole Foods where I thought I was a rich person who could afford to shop there. I’ll be eating good until the Amex bill comes. Then back to Ramen. 🙂