Before I launch into “My Theory” I have to confess it is not “my theory” at all. It’s something I thought about after reading a comment from Norma here and in conjunction with a comment from JoJo I the same place. Let’s review some Vanderpump Rules facts or at least what has been presented on the show, on WWHL, and on the casts twitter and Instagram.
- Andy Cohen has been hard core promoting the rest of the Vanderpump Rules season as unbelievably shocking. He keeps saying we won’t believe what is about to happen.
- One the last episode Kristen went into a rage again. She found out that Tom had kissed Ariana in the pool at the Golden Nugget 3 years ago and they have been “friends” ever since. It seems to me that when I guy admits to one thing, there is usually more there he is not admitting to…
- Kristen was furious with Tom.
- Kristen was furious with Stassi…
- Kristen disappeared for a weekend. Allegedly to go home to Michigan for an “emotional detox.”
- Jax made up some cockamamie story about going to jail and trading bread for toilet paper. How is it he could get bread, but not toilet paper? How was he in jail for four days over something that happened years ago. You know he has been pulled over for something since then. Why did he bother to explain that he was arrested on a weekend and that is why he was in for four days.
- Jax mentioned he wanted to go to Palm Springs but ended up in jail.
- Kristen was “In Michigan” for four days. But she didn’t contact anyone and only made lots of weird drunken tweets. Sounds more like a four day drunk than a visit with mommy for pampering and mothering.
- Kristen was alienated by everyone and super mad at Tom and Stassi .
- Jax was alienated by everyone and Tom and Stassi were especially pissed at him.
- Kristen was probably grateful to Jax for throwing Tom under the bus so that she learned “the truth.”
- Stassi is so pissed when Kristen comes back, she smacks the taste out of her mouth and calls her a dirty whore.
- Stassi currently IRL hates Kristen.
- Jax and Stassi are not together. Jax is seeing someone and Stassi has a NYC boyfriend she has been trying to get to “wife her up” to no avail through the holidays
- Tom and Kristen are apparently a match made in masochistic heaven. They some how make two masochistic bottoms work.
Theory: Kristen and Jax went to Palm Springs for four days and fucked like rabbits. They both got super drunk and trash talked Tom and Stassi. Then Jax and Kristen had sex again. Jax spilled everything he knows about Tom. Kristen spills everything she knows about Stassi. When Kristen returned to work, Stassi continued her constant slow torture of Kristen. Kristen says, “Ya know what bitch? I was not in Michigan and Jax was not in jail. We went away for a long weekend together and I rode him reverse cowgirl four days. How was your weekend?” Stassi smacks Kristen in the mouth. Kristen wins.
The end.
Thoughts? In my opinion if this didn’t happen. It should have.
Good theory,
I think they slept together last year when Jax and Stassi broke up and she was with Frank.
I agree, because he was so comfortable to go to Palm Springs with her and it seems like they may have been doing it alot more often than that time he was broken up with Stassi and she was with Frank. Another thing, Kristen seems to keep away from Jax as much as she can. You may ask what do you mean. Her being alot older (even than her boyfriend) and essentially the same age as Jax and the manager she can relate to them. And she sees these young women going after Jax and she wants him but can’t look like she wants him.
So she goes behind everybodies and I mean everybodies back to sleep with Jax while making it look like she doesn’t care about him. I wonder if Tom goes after Jax after finding out that they where out having sex (of course Tom is guilty as hell having sex with Arianna, I don’t believe either for a minute that he just “kissed” her).
Best. Theory. Ever.
that’s a great theory-its too convenient for them to both disappear for the weekend…
I approve and agree with this theory. It’s spot on and would make for fantastic tv.
I like this ending so much better. So regardless of what may have actually happened, this will now be the only way this ended to me. I will not buy anything they try to sell me unless it is a replica of this awesomeness!!!
Right! Bravo should hire Tamara to “write” for ALL their “reality” shows!
Absolutely. Tamara is a far better writer than anyone on the Bravo staff.
ITA! This is how it will end in my mind too regardless of what they show us.
holy shit balls! thats it, that has to be what happened. i t hought her trip home was a little fast, and i thought jax’s jail story was bizarre to say the least. holy crap.
Not to mention, Ken and Lisa called “Bullshit” on his jail story. They know what is going down under their “roof”. As far as the bread negotiation in jail it is absurd. He would only get a couple of pieces of bread on a daily basis. Does that mean he traded the approximately 4 pieces of bread for 4 squares of toilet paper? Hope he didn’t have to take a crap!!! LM~effin~AO…
NOT SURE ABOUT THAT ENDING???
But, WOW!!!!!!
Great observation…You Are Right!
They where both gone for 4 days..
I am so sick of Kristen and Tom is a coward.
Amazing ! I absolutely agree
Best theory EVER!
I’ve seen like two episodes of this season, but if I find out this is true, I’ll definitely watch that! haha
This is Jax we’re talking about. He would’ve used the bread as toilet paper anyway.
Thanks. If I am right…..can you get me to 5K on twitter? WHAT it doesn’t hurt to ask and I only let ReAL SMART PEOPLE FOLLOW ME.
Holy, fucking, shit. Have you guys seen the preview video on Bravo for Vanderpump Rules? Jax admits to Stassi that he slept with Kristen 2 times…once when Tom was sleeping in the next room, and Jax was staying on the couch in their apt. Jax agrees that he will help set-up Kristen. I’m dying for next week.
OMG! REALLY? Must go see this.
bravo! now if u can write new storylines to replace carlton’s boring little snippets on rhobh we’d all love it! never thought i’d see someone make sex so boring–wtg, carlton.
OMG! Jax comes clean on videos go watcht!
http://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules/vanderpump-rules-pareviews
http://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules/season-2/videos/lisa-gets-on-jaxs-case?cid=related_sfv_OCT13_A
Jax says they had sex twice. Once at his place and once when he was couch surfing at Kristen and Toms and Tom was asleep in the next room!
This will be the finale episode right? So I’m not buying it at all. I think it’s all a ploy/storyline to get another season.
I think Stassi has moved to NYC. So not sure if she will come back for a third season or not. I don’t think it is the finale, but I guess it might be. There will definitely be another season, they get GREAT ratings.
I just looked it up and it’s the second to last episode before the reunion. I’m still not buying it.
I think I’d enjoy this show more without Stassi. And please if there’s a 3rd season let it be about anything other than Kristen and Tom!
So Stassi already knew that Jax and Kristen hooked up? Missed more episodes than I thought …
hmmm…..I seem to be way behind. Honestly, I can’t bear to watch Stassi on television, I’ve decided i may not be a Vanderpump fan. Cabo did it for me. Princess birthday. And, I’m over the pretend drama. You know they’ve all slept together at some point. Ewwww….that means Kristen slept with Stassi by proxy. Brain burn.
When Stassi used Kristen’s phone to text Jax, Kristen looked nervous.
Yes… She did, and why Stassi told Katie first of her plan to go do that? You don’t think Katie tipped Kristen off??? After all, she was the one who brought it up, so she had to make right by Kristen!!
what did stassi text jax when she had Kristen’s phone? could the text be from when stassi was on Kristen’s phone trying to get jax to admit they hooked up? I’m so annoyed by the way everyone follows stassi like brainless drones… she talks about them like they are her followers and will do whatever she says… both in the restaurant and on the beach she makes it seem like she’s queen bee and everyone follows her lead on who to be friends with.
I froze my tv to read the text a and it’s the same text stassi sent to jac off Kristen’s phone and I realized that when Tom read it out loud. The whole thing is staged for a story line as my theory is Kristen needs a good story line to leave the show as she has something lined up… Just my observations. It’s awfully convenient…
Uhmmm this was an entertaining theory…..and one that I truely could see happening!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sure that Stacci is sick! I have a sick feeling that Jax and Kristen are guilty. No wonder she does not trust Tom. She is not trustworthy!
Tom isn’t trustworthy either. He’s admitted to cheating 3 (4 if we now count the make out sesh with Adriana) times.
Maybe I am reading it all way wrong, but I keep getting the feeling that Tom Sandoval has the hots for Jax big time!! I mean, he knows that Jax can’t keep his trap shut and will out his own mother if it might help him score with a lady, yet he keeps letting Jax in on all his deep dark secrets!
Well this explains why Stassi wouldn’t even look at Jax when the two of them were on WWHL together. She had so much apparent disgust for him. I cannot wait for this party!
I find it hard to believe that Kristen, who can’t even see him texting on his phone without wondering who it is, chooses to leave town and her unfaithful boyfriend to his own devices just to go see her mom. She’d be way too terrified that he would run into Ariana’s arms if she turned her back for a second.
Tamara, I think Stassi moved to NYC too, if that’s the case then she probably won’t be on the show..
Maybe she’s moving to NYC so she can be head waitress at Sur East 😉
She is too much of an attention whore not to. I am sure she will fly back couch surf at Katies during the weeks of filming.
true..or maybe she’ll come back with a break up storyline
Stassi has been trying to be a TV star for years. She’s not going to ever be a ‘star’. She thinks she is……
Bow chica wow wow! Those 2…so coy on WWHL, teasing us. Tom admitting that his little kiss in the Golden Nugget virus pool will be nothing important when we find out what’s really been going on – Kristen dropped her panties for Jax. Slap that smile off Jax’s face Stassi too!
whoa…I’ve got so much of your blog to catch up on from this last week, I missed you read a comment of mine and mentioned it here, calling out that Kristen & Jax did the dirty and they’re all even-steven is why Kristen can’t bring herself to kick him to the curb.
I also think it could be likely she’s the bigger cheater of the 2 – Tom seemed so very smug about what we’re all to find out before season end making his actual Vegas sex and his kissy-kiss with Ariana insignificant in comparison (or are they one and the same I wonder?!)
Great Theory!! I think Kristen and Jax did have sex. It’s so funny how Kristen goes on and on about not trusting Tom… Maybe this is because Kristen of her own guilt.
Doesn’t it look like Kristen mouths “Call the cops” after being hit by Stassi? I replayed it 20+ times.
She does say call the cops, right after she says she’s going to fill out a police report
Nawwwww I don’t think so! Stassi only believes jax when it’s convenient — Kristen has 0 self esteem there’s no way she would do that to Tom. They are just saying this to fuel the drama that is Stassi! Jax also said Tom and Ariana slept together which turned out to be a gross exaggeration. If anything did happen between Kristen and jax I’m sure it might have been a kiss.
Why hasn’t anyone noticed the fact that the text “proof” jax had was the message that stassi sent to him pretending to be Kristen? If you go back and watch the clip it’s the same message
If Jax went to jail there would be a mugshot, which is public record. Anyone seen one??? Me neither…
Thanks for mentioning my post!! Awesome! I thought only I could see right through Jax’s bs..