I love and hate how y’all are asking for some recaps that I had not gotten to this week. It’s great that you notice when something is missing! Now I have a lot of catching up to do on a beautiful Saturday. Let’s get right into Couples Therapy. We left off with Taylor (and John) throwing a tantrum over the horrific living conditions in the beautiful house out in the hills. In recent interviews, Taylor was still not owning her abysmal behavior. Let’s see how she reacts to being confronted by the group.
Taylor is on the phone with Dr. Jenn telling her that she can not live “like this.” To be clear, she is in million dollar home in LA which has been decorated like the set that it is to look fabulous. There are beautiful views, a pool, and when she is not present a peaceful, tranquil vibe conducive to self-reflection. However, Taylor’s private bathroom has PEA GREEN TOWELS! She asks Dr. Jenn if she has PEA GREEN TOWELS at her house? I bet she doesn’t no one would subject themselves to PEA GREEN TOWELS voluntarily. She wants to wake up in the morning with the same latte she can afford in her own home, dammit. Why doesn’t Dr. Jenn just treat her at her house?
Whitney is trying tell them they look like fools. Is that Whitney? Who is that? Whitney has dreads. I’ll come back and edit if I figure out it is someone else. Okay, I think it might have been an employee.
Time for group. Group will be taking place in the usual room, on the usual pea green couches. I hope Taylor does not stroke out from the inhumanity of it all. Dr. Jenn says that in 20 plus years of doing therapy in Beverly Hills, never in her life has she seen such and entitled tantrum. But here’s the thing. I think it is bullshit and here is why. Dr. Jenn recounts the many horrific things that Taylor has survived in life, and she doesn’t think green towels and the lack of lattes is her breaking point. Taylor says there are just a lot of things that have not been taken care of. Taylor says the food sucks. She wants to eat something better than the public school system. John says he thinks the real problem is the heat. Taylor fake cries because she has already had reality TV take one person from her life and now John is spinning out of control. Basically, everything is the problem except for Taylor. Long fake ugly cry about how now her career is killing people around her again. You know, her career of trying to find a camera to play the victim in front of.
Dr. Jenn sucks. Has she always sucked and we just didn’t notice? Because she is not holding either of them accountable for their behavior. Here is an example of her counseling, “Taylor, I want you to be okay without the towels being right.” Taylor says, “I’m sure some of the other people are really screwed up, can talk about them now?” #icebreaker
Next is Kelsey and Ghostface. Same old argument about Kelsey lying about being a stripper. Ghostface says everyone is worried about her when he is the wronged party. Ghostface says they only spend 100 days out of the year together. How can she be in love with him anyway? Everyone is uncomfortable. Kelsey leaves and Ghostface refuses to go after her.
Dr. Mike and Kelsey talk. She hears a lot of things on the Internet about Ghostface and she gives him the benefit of the doubt, but he doesn’t do the same for her. Dr. Mike says their goal will be to see if Ghostface is willing to treat her the way she deserves to be treated. Spoiler: Not a chance of that happening.
Back to group. This show is very oddly edited. Taylor says that she sees a lot of herself in Farrah and it is heartbreaking for her. Farrah says Taylor insulted her at dinner. Taylor insults her again. These two hate each other. People try to talk to Farrah but she wants the camera on her full time so she fake cries.
Dr. Jenn says that was some very good work. Whitney and Sada didn’t say two words in group. Everyone that did talked cried about their perceived mistreatment by others. No counseling was given.
Ghost and Kelsey are talking and Ghost says, “You know I love you and this, that and the third, but you are a smart woman, you know what it is.” See what they need to be doing is helping Kelsey to move on from Ghost, not the exact opposite of begging him to care about her. Later, Farrah tries to help Kelsey with her relationship. Farrah thinks Ghost is a good person.
Whitney and Sada ask Farrah if she has ever done porn before. She says no, she is not in that industry. Again no lightning bolt. I suppose God gave up on that method when it came to critical mass where Earth would be covered with nothing but lightning bolts. Sada says her friend said she saw Farrah in a porn. Farrah says she did a porn tape with her boyfriend. No one is buying it.
The other houseguests are unhappy that a new couple is arriving. They don’t even know who it is yet. It’s only been four days. What’s the big deal. Jon and Liz arrive late in the evening. Farrah is trying to decide if Jon was the good person in the relationship. Taylor is judging Jon and Liz for wearing grey hoodies for their arrival scene. Jon reminds Taylor that they have met before. She claims not to remember. Sada is excited because she watched the show. Everyone is talking about Jon’s “cheating.” Or as normal people call it escaping from his life of hell with Kate. Liz says she is the tough guy in the relationship, and she is mean. Great, so Jon has a type. Taylor is upset it was not an athlete or a musician or someone of her caliber. Um, Taylor, he’s a reality star just like you and made WAY more money than you did in your short, unhappy career. Sada is the only one who is happy to see him.
Jon says in his talking head that Liz and Kate are like apples and oranges. But Liz is a huge bitch. She is badgering him just like Kate does. He found himself another bitch. Time for their couples therapy. They met at the bar. They went home together and Jon didn’t want to have sex, just hug. Dr. Jenn is actually holding Liz accountable for her bad behavior. I guess if you are not famous, you get held accountable.
Jon says he can’t get away from the Kate. Every year it is something. This year she is suing him for allegedly selling information to an author who wrote a scathing book about her. I already can see that Liz is not good enough for him. Yet when Dr. Jenn asks what their future hold Jon says he REALLY wants to get married. Liz is not as interested. Liz says Jon is so set on the whole white picket fence thing that it scares her. I totally understand her point. She feels interchangeable. I broke it off with a guy like this once and he got married like six months later to the next girl. A man being obsessed with getting married and in my instance, it felt like he wanted to be the bride, is a huge turn off. Kate has clearly emasculated Jon to a point where he no longer acknowledges any male parts of himself.
Meanwhile, the girls discover Farrah’s porno and realize she is a phony.
Next week: Sada confronts Farrah about her porno during group. Sada tells Whitney she flirts all the time. I haven’t seen her flirt with anyone in the house? There is really no one of her caliber there. She’s by far the hottest chick in the house. Liz emasculates Jon .