I reckon the cat is out of the bag. I went to one of my commenter’s for Christmas. I am sorry to those of you whose offers I declined. I am genetically predisposed on my Father’s side to LOVE SC in general(I still hate the fucking Gamecocks) and Charleston in particular. Also she is vet and let me bring my dog.
I woke up drink today and though continuing to drink might be fun. I was right. I think also that I may be entering the Meredith Baxter Birney stage of my life.
I have little recollection of last night but there is wine all over my shirt and I slept in the Lesbian part of the best house ever erected. It is a hand made log cabin. The owner is my commenter’s long time boy friend. He is the most perfect man ever created. HE’S A FIREMAN!! And everything you would expect from the Fireman’s calendar. He would be a summer month because he is MUY CALIENTE! Docwall is WAY hotter than me so I have no chance at stealing him away. He is all macho and Jesse James like with a woodworking COMPLEX where he make beautiful stuff. AND AND AND with fugly fat chicks drop by and get all sorts of wasted at his place, he is very kind and tolerant. And he has the best collection of Pajama pants in the world. He is perfect. Like the perfect man. I love him in a way far beyond sexual. I mean he should be the fucking Pope or something.
Oh an Docwall is all sorts of swell too. She left me at her FIREMAN’S house last night! Mostly because I am too fat for even the FIREMAN to put me in the car. And she has stocked her house where I am now with the tiny little co-colas in bottles and me and Banjo are hanging out outside by her pool.
So Essentially this blog is to say, I have NO recollection at ALL of RHOA last night. And I am never coming home.
That is all. I am going to try to WARSH the moonshine (I am not making this up, we drank MOONSHINE last night!!!) And Merlot off of me and go shopping in downtown Charleston now. Unless I go back to bed.
Or maybe I will just drink more.
Sounds like last night was a lot of fun. Hope this visit recharges your batteries and you find some great deals on your shopping trip.
i am so glad you ventured out. and i am very glad docwall was there for you. it sounds like you had a blast and will be enjoying the holidays. love me some good moonshine.
Ditto – I would say more, but everyone else has already said it. Happy for you – you needed some TLC.
Lol that was funny! I say drink some more! Cheers!
Best.Christmas.Ever!
I want to go to there….
Me too…
I hope you have a fantastic time with Doc! Merry Christmas and maybe the hot, hunky fireman has a friend.. 😉
I agree with Shellbelle, lets hope the Docs fireman has a buddy..pass out and maybe he will give some CPR..a little mouth to mouth doncha know!! Have a GREAT holiday! Try a little Midnight Moon blueberry moonshine. It has preserved berries in the bottom and they will light you up! Heres a New Year resolutionfor ya, Dont be so hard on yourself and enjoy life any way you can.
Good on you and Docwall, that’s awesome to hear, Tamara! I am SO happy that things are looking up for you, eat, drink and be Merry! 🙂
Tamara, glad you are having a good time. Post some pics! Happy Holidays everyone!!!
I’m from Charleston and it’s beautiful. Hope you are enjoying the visit!
OK…i have been so busy “hosting” that i had to finally sneek away to give you guys an update on how the Chucktown visit is going: (sorry if it bores some, but i know many of you care)
SO, i am the hare and TT is for sure the tortoise. She is winning her race!
1) Several outings and meeting a few people (as those of you familiar with me might presume, i do not have alot of friends 🙂 ) She is less and less afraid of this………………best therapy ever!
2) going new places and EATIING THE SAME FOODS! I am seriously hoping she has enough She Crab Soup and Shrimp and Grits to last for about 5 years.
3) OK……so know Banjo and i am on a really thing….he still has NO IDEA that i am a vet and the vet who is going to give him vaccinations tomorrow. BUT there is a problem: suddenly all of my male dogs especially George (who many of you prayed for and survived pancreatitis/10K later–no shit), are like all sniffing butts, licking each others’ lipstick. It is so bad that i cannot allow Banjo (50#) and George (18#) to be around each other. It is like wild Sumo wrestled versus Peewee Herman sex!!!! My baby is gonna get hurt. They are even trying middle of night trysts through doors!!!! I totally think TT is somehow responsible for this!! I dont care he is gay….i just think he needs to choose someone of the appropriate size.
4) I am proud to say that TT has actually sat on a sofa with 4 different dogs, and that she let Banjo hop into bed with her last night!!!!!! Next thing you know, SHE night be the bitch buying organic hotdogs for treats!
5) Despite the notoriety that my guy might be getting via TT praises, he is still “just a man”!!! I love him madly, but she has forgotten alot…………….speaking of which, i have some helpful hints for any future hosts:
a) you might as well just start off giving her a sippy cup when she pulls out the black box of wine………save you hours of cleanup
b) girl does not eat breakfast, so save your energy and time;
c) next host/hostess should SERIOUSLY consider hiring a jigalo (sp?) dressed as a firefighter for her……….i mean, seriously. “the greatest gift”
Has been a great visit…..sometimes a bit tough as we are both independant and she reclusive yet super mindful, and i am busy/a bit Type A /thinking but quiet (did i say she has tried to rename all my pets and sometimes talks in the middle of movies but is as Fing funny in person as on blog?)
OK, all for now, Merry Christmas………….and, oh yea….our Christmas menu:
tell ya later………..
DOC
Ok, this was f’ing hilarious because I laughed out loud at the dog parts and reclusive talking during movies! Just what I needed to read since I’m on jiggers of antibiotics still and can’t be around anyone and its Christmas and all.
So thanks to you both no matter what!!!!
Yeah, and she will never admit this, but Banjo just laid in bed with both of us an is STILL shacking up with her. MYOHMY!!!!